Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

I’ve gotten to know today’s guest, Amanda Diekman, over the past year after I participated in her Low Demand Parenting Summit, which I know many of you attended, and more recently, read her new book, Low-demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection With Your Uniquely Wired Child. Because low-demand parenting can be such an effective approach to supporting differently wired kids, especially kids who fall under the PDA profile of autism, I invited Amanda to join the show for a conversation about what this parenting approach looks like. An autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space, Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practice. She runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. During this episode, we talk about what low demand parenting is, why it’s different than what might be referred to as “permissive” parenting, why it’s so effective for kids with PDA, and how she helps parents loosen up the mindset around non-negotiables. About Amanda DiekmanAmanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practices, with her book Low Demand Parenting to be published July 2023. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. Things you'll learn from this episode What led Amanda to implement low-demand parenting in her family What low demand parenting is, and why it’s often misconstrued as permissive The relationship between PDA and low-demand parenting Examples of big demands and tiny demands, and how shifting the focus can reduce stress for kids How Amanda helps parents in loosening their mindset about what they define as non-negotiables Ideas for practicing low-demand parenting in regard to our kids’ relationship with technology and screens How Amanda and her co-parenting partner came to work together using low-demand parenting Resources mentioned: Amanda Diekman’s website Low-demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection With Your Uniquely Wired Child by Amanda Diekman Amanda Diekman on Instagram The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene Akilah Richards on Raising Free People (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A special kid's POV episode where Asher and I talk all about that rite of passage for millions of children around the world—sleep away camp. This summer, Asher is going to a sleep away camp for the second time in his life. The first time was two years ago, when he went to a very traditional outdoorsy camp with his best friend in the Pacific Northwest. All things considered, that experience went pretty well, and we learned a few things about what can be hard about camp and what kind of situations might be challenging for Asher (and for many differently-wired kids).This year, we’re going to give it another try, this time at Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama, something Asher is, shall we say, INCREDIBLY excited about. And at the same time, when we first signed him up, Asher recognized there would be situations at Space Camp that could potentially be especially tough for him. As you’ll hear, Asher came to me and asked to work with a therapist / coach to help him figure out strategies for navigating tricky situations that might come up.So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today…the different strategies we’ve used to help Asher get prepared for sleep away camp, as well as Asher’s own revelations about what he thinks will help him have a positive experience, even if and when things come up that push him mentally and emotionally.Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast. Things you'll learn from this episode: How Debbie and Asher prepped for the kinds of situations that might come up at sleep away camp Asher’s new strategy for getting “un-angry” How Maslov’s Hierachy of Needs has helped Asher learn more about his own emotional responses  Resources Mentioned: Camp Orkila  Space Camp Kate Berger on What Mindfulness Can Do for Kids and How to Get Started (podcast) Asher Talks with David Flink, a Social Movement Leader on the Front Lines of the Learning Differences Movement (podcast) Julie George on the Role of Executive Functioning in Differently-Wired Kids (podcast) Eye to Eye National Kerbal Space Program The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Dr. Katie Davis, a researcher on the impact of digital technologies on young people’s learning, development, and well-being, and the author of the fascinating new book, Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up. The world of technology is ever-expanding and its integration into our lives so seamlessly that we often don’t stop to consider what effect it’s having on us and our children. In this conversation, Katie helps us understand what this impact is and what we want to consider surrounding our kids’ use of tech.Katie and I explore how technology is accelerating the full arc of child development, what the research says about the efficacy of apps that are sold as tools to develop kids’ learning and things like executive function skills and whether or not ADHD symptoms can be exacerbated by technology use. We also discussed gaming disorder and how to support children in their usage of social media while they are developing and exploring their identities. About Dr. Katie DavisDr. Katie Davis is Associate Professor at the University of Washington (UW) and Director of the UW Digital Youth Lab. For nearly twenty years, she has been researching the impact of digital technologies on young people’s learning, development, and well-being. In her latest book, Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up, Dr. Davis brings clarity to what we know about technology’s role in child development and provides guidance on how to help children of all ages make the most of their digital experiences. Things you'll learn from this episode What Katie’s book Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up is about and what she was hoping to accomplish by sharing it with the world How technology is accelerating the full arc of child development What “design abuse” is and how it keeps kids engaged in technology The effects of technology on our kids’ fledgling executive function skills What the research says about the efficacy of apps marketed as tools to support kids’ executive function skill development How to support kids in the usage of social media while developing their identities Resources  Dr. Katie Davis’ website Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up by Dr. Katie Davis Dr. Katie Davis on Instagram Dr. Katie Davis on Twitter Sign up for Katie’s Technology’s Child newsletter to receive information, ideas, and updates related to the book and my work, as well as a sample chapter from Katie’s book Devorah Heitner on Helping Kids Thrive in Their Digital Worlds (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special kid’s POV edition of the podcast, Asher and Debbie take listeners inside their homeschooling world. They're about to begin year four of this unexpected homeschooling journey, and after much trial and error, they’ve found their rhythm and flow (for now) for what works best in their school.Asher and Debbie talk about the transition into homeschooling, what works and what doesn’t, how Asher really feels about being homeschooling, how they co-designed they school, and what a typical day looks like. Asher also shares his thoughts on how their relationship has changed as a result of the homeschooling dynamic.Debbie Reber is the founder of TiLT and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast.Things You'll Learn from This Episode: The pros and cons of homeschooling from a kid’s POV How Asher and I have co-designed our school structure, schedule, and curriculum How structure and flexibility can actually co-exist What a typical school day looks like in our world What I see as the biggest benefits of homeschooling Asher How Asher perceives our teacher-student relationship versus mother-son  Resources Mentioned: Image of our homeschooling daily schedule Khan Academy Kerbal Space Program Kurzgesagt YouTube Channel Ted-Ed Videos Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re talking about what we often call in the neurodivergent space, long runways, for our emerging young adults, specifically alternative paths for differently wired students who are graduating high school but may not either be ready for a “typical” college experience or for whom college isn’t part of the plan.We do get a little update from Dave on the admissions landscape, but most of the this episode is dedicated to considering other options for students, including gap years, apprenticeships, taking a few classes at a community college, and most importantly, slowing the whole “launching” process down to support kids who would really benefit from extra time to develop and grow, recover from mental health challenges, destress, and more. About my guest:David L Marcus is a college admissions coach who loves helping students and parents find balance and joy. He has been a journalist, author and teacher – as well as a writing coach for CEOs.David wrote a book about college admissions, Acceptance (published by Penguin Books). He also wrote a book about struggling teens, What It Takes to Pull Me Through (published by Houghton Mifflin). He has appeared on the Today show and NPR’s Morning Edition; he has spoken about education at conferences, schools, churches, and synagogues across the U.S. David is an honors graduate of Brown University. He was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard. But he says classes at a community college changed his life.Things you'll learn: What has changed for students who are college bound now that we are through the pandemic How the decision-making and admission process has changed for students and for colleges Why gap years can be such a good option for some students and the different ways a gap year might look Why community college might be a good starting point for neurodivergent kids Other options for kids who don’t want to take the college route after high school Advice for parents with kids close to the end of high school on how to support them after they graduate Resources: David Marcus’ website Acceptance: A Legendary Guidance Counselor Helps Seven Kids Find the Right Colleges–and Find Themselves by David Marcus What It Takes To Pull Me Through: Four Troubled Teenagers And Fourteen Months That Transformed Them by David Marcus College Vetting, Admissions, & Accommodations for Differently Wired Students (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Seven Steps to College Success: A Pathway for Students with Disabilities by Elizabeth Hamblet Gap Year Association College Autism Spectrum Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This weeks' guest is Penny Williams, author of the book Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, as well The Insiders Guide to ADHD, and What To Expect When Parenting a Child with ADHD. Penny is also the founder of Parenting ADHD and Autism, which features a blog, coaching, and the Parenting ADHD podcast, all aimed at helping parents raising special kids survive, thrive, and parent with purpose. In our conversation, Penny shares her story of raising her differently wired son, gives us the inside scoop on her books, and shares some of her best strategies for getting through the tough moments with our unique kiddos. I hope you enjoy the episode!Penny Williams is a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey. Through her award-winning books, online parent training programs, and parent coaching, Penny helps families like yours survive and thrive in the face of ADHD through a compassionate, purposeful parenthood. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: Penny’s personal story of discovering her son’s neurodifferences and advocating for him in school Why holding her son back one year in school was the best decision Penny made (but she had to follow her gut to make it) Penny’s thoughts on medicating kids for ADHD, as well as her story in figuring out the best medication path for her son Why Penny had mom guilt with some her choices in supporting her son Penny’s thoughts on the co-morbid diagnoses of ADHD and autism The challenges of getting a thorough and accurate diagnosis when there are multiple symptoms  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Parenting ADHD and Aspergers (Penny’s website) Boy Without Instructions:Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD by Penny Williams What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD: A 9-Step Plan to Master the Struggles and Triumphs of Parenting a Child with ADHD by Penny Williams The Insider’s Guide to ADHD: Adults with ADHD Reveal the Secret to Parenting Kids with ADHD by Penny Williams Parenting ADHD Podcast  Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Ellen Braaten was one of my first guests on the Tilt Parenting podcast, when she joined me back in 2016 to talk about her book about processing speed, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. I’m so happy to be bringing her back to the show to talk about motivation,, which is the topic for her wonderful new book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation. In this episode, we explore motivation (or what we might perceive as a lack of motivation) in our kids from many angles, including what is really going on when our child appears to be unmotivated, the relationship between executive function and motivation, how resilience comes into play, and the way in which we as parents and caregivers can support our kids in gaining confidence and skills so they can make meaningful progress towards the things that light them up. About Dr. Ellen BraatenDr. Ellen Braaten is the Executive Director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital, and an Associate Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Braaten is widely recognized as an expert in the field of pediatric neuropsychological and psychological assessment, particularly in the areas of assessing learning disabilities and attentional disorders. She is the co-author of many books and articles for parents and professionals including the bestselling book, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. Her newest book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation was published in March of 2023.Things you'll learn from this episode-Why people sometimes misconstrue struggles with motivation as laziness (and how they’re getting it wrong)-How executive function challenges and challenges with getting, or staying, motivated are connected-What the parenting APP framework is and how it helps parents in supporting their children in feeling more motivated-What “flow” is and how can we leverage that to support our kids’ fledgling motivation-How to support kids in setting and working towards goals with kids who are particularly demand-avoidantResources-Dr. Ellen Braaten’s website-Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation by Dr. Ellen Braaten-Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up: Help Your Child Overcome Slow Processing Speed and Keep Up in a Fast-Paced World by Dr. Ellen Braaten-Exploring Slow Processing Speed with Dr. Ellen Braaten (Tilt Parenting Podcast)-Traits of Flow According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi-The Learning and Emotional Assessment Program at Mass General-Doable: A Girls’ Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything by Debbie ReberSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode features a conversation with Giselle Marzo Segura, a designer, teacher, mentor, writer and solutions thinker based in Miami, Florida, who is also the parent of a differently-wired daughter. As a result of her journey with her daughter, Giselle was moved to create a venture called Strength Clusters, which is all about helping people understand and connect with each other through the language of character strengths. I’ll let Giselle tell you her whole story, because it’s very inspiring and personal, but for now, I’ll let you know that we’re going to be talking about his idea of why current systems aimed at supporting differently-wired kids do so by focusing on the deficits. We’ll also get into how truly transformational it can be, not just for the child but for the whole family, when we flip that on its head and focus on an individual’s strengths.THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: The cost of not allowing differently-wired kids to hang out in their areas of strength for large chunks of the day Why Giselle believes differently-wired kids need the opportunity to express what’s inside of them What the language of positive psychology and character strengths is What happens when the whole family views each other through the lens of character strengths and is on the same page The magic of looking at a child as a whole person That there are other types of learning beyond cognitive learning, such as learning through the body and emotions  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Strength Clusters (Giselle’s website) Character Strenths are Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson Via Character Strengths Survey Brene Brown’s website The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown Pamela Slim’s website Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I’m delighted to be bringing to the show a conversation about supporting LGBTQIA+ kids, and I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with, John Sovec, a therapist, author, and nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. I wanted to talk with John because these conversations are becoming increasingly prevalent within our neurodivergent communities. During our conversation, John explained what “coming out” means and why it’s such a significant and ongoing event for any LGBTQIA+ person. He also shared his thoughts on the high correlation between neurodivergence and gender nonconformity, how parents can best respond when their child comes out to them, why affirmation is more important than acceptance, and why it’s so important that parents honor their own process as they navigate understanding their child’s identity. About John SovecJohn Sovec, MA, LMFT is a nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. He is the author of Out: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond (JKP, 2023). John is a frequent contributor to numerous publications on providing LGBTQIA+ support, speaks at conferences nationally, and provides training and professional consultation on LGBTQIA+ competencies for community agencies, schools, and nonprofits. In addition, he consults and trains on the corporate level regarding diversity, equity, and LGBTQIA+ inclusion.In December 2019, he was appointed by Governor Gavin Newsom to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. John is the host of OutTalk, a monthly web series for OutCare Health.Things you'll learn from this episode Why it’s important that LGBTQIA+ kids have access to therapists and mental health support that is affirming and informed in the community’s specific challenges What LGBTQIA+ plus stands for What “coming out” means in our contemporary society John’s guidance for how parents can respond to their child’s coming out in a way that feels supportive and loving How parents can show up for their LGBTQIA+ kids in an affirming way What parents with LGBTQIA+ kids are most concerned about and how they can navigate their own emotional process Resources mentioned for John Sovec’s website A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your Lgbtqia+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond by John Sovec John Sovec’s Gay Teen Therapy website John Sovec on Instagram How to Support Transgender and Nonbinary Neurodivergent Children, with Dr. Laura Anderson (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Dr. Laura Anderson on Gender Nonconformity and Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast) The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are the parent of more than one child, neurotypical or atypical, this is an episode you are definitely going to want to listen to. I get requests for topics from listeners all the time (which, by the way, is great…please keep them coming!), and one of the most common requests is for an episode specifically on sibling relationships. So I found the perfect guest to talk about the sibling dynamic—parent educator Julie King. Julie co-authored the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, a Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 alongside Joanna Faber, and leads dynamic lecture/presentations for schools and other parent organizations. Among the workshops she offers is one based on Siblings Without Rivalry, and she brings to her work the perspective of having raised two differently-wired and one neurotypical kids herself. I’m really excited to share this conversation with you, and I hope to do more episodes on this topic. Julie King has been educating and supporting parents since 1995. In addition to her work with individual parents and couples, she is a highly regarded parenting workshop leader and public presenter. Her most popular workshops, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, are based on the bestselling books of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and her own book, written with Joanna Faber. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What the common challenges are for siblings in families with differently wired kids Best practices for creating and maintaining family harmony How to approach conflict resolution in a way that’s respectful, peaceful, and fosters growth The power of the “reframe” conflicts as problems in need of solutions How to handle “inequalities” in the amount of attention and/or resources one sibling may be receiving over another due to neurodifferences Strategies for addressing one child’s anger about or resentment of their sibling The key to finding solutions to sibling conflicts that get everyone’s needs met RESOURCES MENTIONED: Julie King’s website How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 by Joanna Faber and Julie King How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen Facebook Page How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen (website) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices