Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

I’m really happy to be bringing another conversation about PDA to the show, especially as awareness and understanding of this complex profile of autism is growing and more and more parents are looking for resources to navigate this especially challenging parenting journey. Oh, and in case you’re not familiar with PDA, it’s an acronym that technically stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, though many people who identify as PDAers prefer the words persistent desire for autonomy.My guest for today’s conversation is Casey Ehrlich. In our conversation, Casey sheds light on how to approach raising a child with PDA at different stages, explores the differences between PDA and ODD, considers how burnout manifests in someone with PDA, and explains how a child with a PDA profile might experience a loss of autonomy and equality on a daily basis. Casey also walks us through her framework for supporting families with PDA kids and what it takes to find peace and acceptance in showing up for a PDA child no matter what. About Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D.Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. is a coach and educator to parents raising PDA Autistic children and teens and is the founder of At Peace Parents and a podcast by the same name. She is also the co-founder of the PDA Parents community and podcast. Casey brings her background in social science, methodology, and research to take an objective and non-judgmental approach to supporting families.She is currently conducting empirical research on Pathological Demand Avoidance with a faculty member at the University of Michigan and is raising two sons, one of whom is PDA Autistic. Things you'll learn: What PDA is, and how it overlaps (if at all) with ODD How burnout manifests in someone with a PDA profile and the overlaps between PDA burnout and autistic burnout Why people with a PDA profile experience a loss of autonomy and equality when demands are placed on them How Casey helps parents raising kids with a PDA profile What low-demand parenting actually looks like in practice  Resources mentioned: Casey’s website, At Peace Parents At Peace Parents on Instagram At Peace Parents Podcast Free “Clarity” Masterclass Paradigm Shift Program Dr. Mona Delahooke Deconstructing Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Mona Delahooke blog) Dr. Dan Siegel Tina Payne Bryson A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy (Tilt Parenting podcast) Linda Murphy’s website Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways Dr. Melissa Neff on Pathological Demand Avoidance In Children (Tilt Parenting podcast) Polyvagal Theory Sensory Processing Disorder (Star Institute) Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (It’s Complicated!) (Tilt Parenting podcast) Amanda Diekman and Low Demand Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Debbie talks with family therapist and author of the new book "Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle" Neil Brown about the challenges of and strategies for raising differently-wired teens. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I know it can be incredibly powerful and transformational for parents raising differently wired kids to hear from neurodivergent adults about their lived experience. How did they feel as a child? What was it that helped them navigate feelings of inadequacy they may have internalized or the challenges of being a child who was misunderstood or whose gifts were overlooked? That’s why I’m so happy to share today’s conversation with Gil Gershoni, the founder and creative director of the branding firm Gershoni Creative, the creator of the Dyslexic Design Thinking methodology, and the host of the Dyslexic Design Thinking podcast. Gil’s big goal is to show the world that dyslexic thinkers can open new doors and innovate absolutely anything.I invited Gil to share his inspiring story of how, as a child, he shifted his relationship with his dyslexia so it became the key to his finding so much success in his creative work, as well as to help listeners better understand the link between dyslexia and creativity. In telling us about his journey and his perspectives on the gifts of neurodivergence, Gil also shares how parents can best support and show up for our dyslexic kids so they have the knowledge and confidence to leverage their unique brains.Gil is also the creator of a wonderful, empowering initiative called Dear Dyslexia: The Postcard Project, which invites dyslexics of all ages — from students to professionals — to depict their relationship with dyslexia on postcards using words and image, so I asked him to share with us the why behind that initiative and tell us how it’s helping dyslexics everywhere, especially kids, really lean into who they are.I really enjoyed having this sit down with Gil, someone who is very much on the frontlines of the paradigm shift we’re all a part of. Whether your child is dyslexic, has another learning disability, or is in any way neurodivergent, I hope this conversation feels supportive, inspirational, and motivating for you. About Gil GershoniGil Gershoni is the founder and creative director of the branding firm Gershoni Creative. He says that everything he does, he does dyslexic. Gil sees dyslexia as a hyper-ability. His goal is to show the world that dyslexic thinkers can open new doors and innovate anything.Along with Gershoni Creative, Gil created Dyslexic Design Thinking, a method that helps clients see new perspectives and tell the story of their brand. Gil also hosts Dyslexic Design Thinking, a podcast that explores the link between dyslexia and creativity. Through these outlets, Gil spotlights dyslexic thinkers and ideas. Things you'll learn: What made the difference in Gil’s life as being someone who ultimately embraced and leveraged the gifts of his dyslexic brain What Gil’s Dyslexic Design Thinking methodology is, and how it can be used to support creativity, problem solving, and more How Gil defines the gifts and “hyperabilities” of the dyslexic brain How Gil supports parents powerfully showing up for and advocating for their kids How Dear Dyslexia: the Postcard Project has help kids redefine their relationship with their dyslexia How parents can help their child to unlock their own potential  Resources mentioned: Dyslexic Design Thinking Dyslexic Design Thinking podcast Dear Dyslexia: The Postcard Project David Flink Jonathan Mooney 12-Year-Old Asher Talks with Social Movement Leader David Flink (Tilt Parenting Podcast) LD and ADHD Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Description of Gil’s talk about SXSW   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author Ann Douglas (Parenting Through the Storm) talks with Debbie about negative stigmas—why they exist, how they're perpetuated, what they do to us and our kids, and most importantly, what we can do to combat them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The conversation around twice exceptionality has advanced a lot in the past few years but there still exists substantial resistance and misunderstanding about what it means to be 2e. As my guest today, Julie Skolnick, writes about in her new book Gifted and Distractible, it’s a widely held misconception that intellectual ability and social and emotional success go hand in hand. Which is why kids who are gifted and have simultaneous learning differences like ADHD, Autism, or dyslexia—are often not fully seen and supported by parents, teachers, and themselves.In a world where these complex learners are often labeled lazy, scattered, attention-seeking, and a problem that can’t be solved, I am totally behind Julie’s mission to passionately guide parents of gifted and distractible children to bring out the best and raise self-confidence in their 2e kids. And in today’s conversation, she shares some of her best insights and ideas about how we can reimagine the world through our child’s unique perspective—so we can help them thrive.Her book, Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child, literally comes out the day this episode is released! If you’re raising a twice exceptional kid, I highly encourage you to grab a copy after listening to our conversation… Julie really did share all of her experience and insights and hard-won wisdom inside for us to benefit from.About my guestJulie F. Rosenbaum Skolnick, M.A., J.D., Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, trains educators and advises professionals on how to bring out the best and raise self-confidence in their 2e students and clients.A prolific writer and beloved speaker, Julie hosts “The Haystack 2e Adult Membership Group” which welcomes all ‘2e adult needles,’ hosts Let’s Talk 2e! Parent Empowerment Groups, produces virtual conferences, and publishes “Gifted & Distractible,” a free weekly newsletter. Her book, Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child, was published in October 2023. Located in Maryland, USA, Julie’s clients and audience hail from all four corners of the globe.You'll learn: How Julie is helping to expand the understanding of twice exceptionality What trends Julie is observing regarding educators’ willingness to explore and provide creative ways to support 2e kids Misunderstandings that Julie addresses over and over again about the twice exceptional population and why supporting 2e kids has to start with deeply understanding them The biggest challenges parents raising 2e kids face What we should be thinking about when trying to identify therapists or modalities that might support our 2e kids Resources mentioned: Julie Skolnick’s website With Understanding Comes Calm Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child by Julie Skolnick SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted) Ken Dabrowsky’s Overexcitabilities Fight Between ‘Gifted’ and ‘Advanced’ Programs Exposes Deeper Problems (Washington Post article) Dr. Megan Anna Neff, Neurodivergent Insights Julie on Facebook Julie on Instagram Julie on Twitter Julie on LinkedIn Julie’s YouTube channel GiftedandDistractible.com Julie Skolnick on Supporting 2e Kids in Traditional Schools (Tilt Parenting Podcast)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Child psychologist Dr. Abigail Gewirtz talks about her book, When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, and provides insights on talking to kids at Covid-19, racism, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m going to confess something with you right here and now. When it comes to having important conversations with my kid, about tricky topics, big issues…things where the stakes feel very high, I often feel like I blow it. I get really anxious, if the subject comes up without any advance warning I fumble over my words, I very often say the exact wrong thing and then feel stressed about what I wish I’d said and then I often awkwardly force a do-over. You get the point. Am I the only one?Okay, so if you are like me and you struggle with knowing what to say anything that feels big and important and potentially tricky, you are going to love this episode.Because today I’m sharing a conversation with Dr. Robyn Silverman about her new book How to Talk to Kids About Anything: Tips, Scripts, Stories, and Steps to Make Even the Toughest Conversations Easier. And when Robyn says anything, she means anything.Today we are talking about how to have conversations with our kids, no matter their age, about things like death, sex, diversity, depression, suicide, big feelings, and more, and even more, why it matters so much that we are safe, informed adults to talk about these issues with our kids, and how a little preparation goes a long way in terms of helping us feel regulated and calm. We want our kids to know that we’re always there to talk with them about anything and that we are their top trusted and safe source of information, no matter the topic.About my guestKnown as the “Conversation Doc,” Dr.Robyn Silverman is a child and teen development specialist and host of the popular podcast, How to Talk to Kids About Anything, as well as the book of the same name. She is a cofounder of the Powerful Words Character System, which gives educators the talking points they need to help children become kind, responsible citizens of the world. Dr. Robyn has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Early Show and Nightline and has been quoted on CNN and in the New York Times, Washington Post, and many other publications.You'll learn: The impetus behind Robyn’s new book How to Talk to Kids About Anything and why she decided to include so many expert voices in it The biggest roadblocks that get in the way of parents talking about difficult or uncomfortable subjects with their kids How to customize “scripts” for your individual family’s needs Common mistakes parents make when broaching tricky topics Advice for parenting kids who are struggling with emotional and mental health challenges An example of how a conversation about a difficult topic might change over time and why it’s important that it is a continuous conversation  Resources mentioned: Dr. Robyn Silverman’s website How to Talk to Kids about Anything: Tips, Scripts, Stories, and Steps to Make Even the Toughest Conversations Easier by Dr. Robyn Silverman How to Talk to Kids About Anything (Dr. Robyn’s podcast) Dr. Robyn Silverman on Nurturing Our Kids’ Character and Character Strengths (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Dr. Robyn on Facebook Dr. Robyn in Instagram Dr. Robyn on X The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Kids Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson Julie Lythcott-Haims Jessica Lahey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A conversation with the coauthor of "Child Decoded," Dr. Robyn McEvoy, about how parents can forge a viable path to move forward and best focus their energy in raising their exceptional child. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’ve got a question for you: What’s your relationship with puberty? You know, that inescapable part of every human’s experience, marked by body changes, emotional swings, awkward stages, and more? Personally, I don’t look back on my journey through puberty with whole lotta fondness.Yet, being that it IS part of every child’s development process, puberty is something that we as parents and actually any adult supporting children are going to want to deeply understand so we can help our kids navigate it in a way that preserves their sense of self-worth, body confidence, and emotional, physical, and mental safety.And, what I’ve learned from my guests for today’s show, “modern” puberty, is not the same puberty you and I went through however many years ago.Cara and Vanessa wrote all about it in their wonderful book, This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained, which explains the science behind all that’s happening at this stage in a kid's lives AND also provides insights into how to talk to kids about it. Because, honestly, even talking about all things puberty with our kids can feel super awkward and uncomfortable for them us. But luckily, Cara and Vanessa are here to hold our hand through it all, and provide us with the facts, language, and strategies for helping us navigate these conversations and this phase of life with confidence and calm. About Cara NattersonCara Natterson, MD, is a pediatrician, consultant, and New York Times bestselling author. She’s also the co-founder and CEO of Order of Magnitude, a company dedicated to flipping puberty-positive. Cara’s books focus largely on puberty — some written for the kids going through it, and others for the adults helping them along the way. Her list of titles includes The Care and Keeping of You series with more than 7 million copies in print. While this reach is incredible, the written word is only one way to transform the experience of adolescence.About Vanessa Kroll BennettVanessa Kroll Bennett is a puberty educator and writer, a podcaster, and entrepreneur who helps adults navigate uncertainty while they support the kids they love. Vanessa is the co-host of The Puberty Podcast which is exactly what it sounds like and the founder of Dynamo Girl, a company focused on building kids’ self-esteem through sports, puberty education and parent workshops. Vanessa consults with organizations, large and small, on how to authentically engage children in their communities. As the host of Conversations on Parenting and Beyond and the first Scholar in Residence at Wasserman Center for Family Life at the JCC Manhattan, Vanessa explores all aspects of growing families. She writes regularly in her Uncertain Parenting Newsletter about the messy process of raising tweens and teens, including her own four children ages 11 to 19. Things you'll learn from this episode How the way today’s kids experience puberty, aka, “modern puberty,” is different from what their parents experienced Why talking about puberty is about more than just body changes and sex, and what other important topics need to be part of the conversation Some of the words that Cara and Vanessa introduce in their book as part of the new vocabulary to use in your conversations with your kids Advice for parents whose kids might be really reluctant to engage in dialogue about the changes that accompany puberty How parents can regulate themselves before having difficult conversations with their kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Creativity expert Kathryn Haydon talks about the correlation between creativity and neurodiversity, especially giftedness, as well as her vision for supporting differently-wired kids using a "strengths-based" approach. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices