Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Seth Perler, an executive function coach specializing in adolescent behavior, joins to tackle the challenging topic of teen impulsivity and disruptive actions. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying causes behind these behaviors. Listeners learn practical strategies for emotional regulation and effective communication. Seth highlights how collaboration between parents and teens can lead to growth while maintaining boundaries. He also addresses the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent youth and the value of community support.

What does the word capable mean to you? My guest, Dr. Deborah Winking, defines a capable person as an individual living a meaning-filled life determined by them and those who love them with the maximum level of autonomy and agency that they can achieve and authentically access. She’s on a mission to show that there’s a version of capable for every child that is unique to them, and it’s what she writes about in her new book, Raising Capable Kids. The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of their Child's Label or Challenge.Deborah, an educator, school leader, consultant and researcher, has a Ph.D in Educational Psychology, and is the mother of four children, including one child born with a rare neurological syndrome. She’s worn many hats over the course of her career, including working with and advocating for countless children and families, teaching at the New England Center for Autism where she started the first work experience and supported employment program there, and conducting a 5-year evaluation of the New York City Schools Early Childhood Inclusive Education Initiative. She currently works in a public school teaching bilingual disabled learners. In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Deborah is also the author of a memoir called Capable: A Story of Triumph For Children the World has Judged as "Different.”But for today’s show, Deb shared the story of raising her son Jack and how focusing on the near future, or the next 15 yards as she calls it, helped her stay grounded. We also explored the concept of capable through multiple examples, the role of agency, our vision as parents, and more. I hope you enjoy our conversation! About Deborah Winking, Ph.DDeborah Winking, Ph.D is the mother of four (including one child born with a rare neurological syndrome), and has worked with and advocated for countless children and families over the years as an educator, school leader, consultant and researcher. Deborah has a Ph.D in Educational Psychology from the University of Illinois. She taught students with autism at the New England Center for Autism and started the first work experience and supported employment program there; designed the authentic and portfolio assessment program for the Minneapolis Public Schools; conducted the 5 year evaluation of the New York City Schools Early Childhood Inclusive Education Initiative; worked at the University of Washington Center for Educational Leadership training school leaders and teachers across the country in equity based and student centered instructional practices. She currently works in a public school teaching bilingual learners with disabilities. Deborah is the author of two books Capable, and Raising Capable Kids-The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of label or Challenge. Things you'll learn from this episode How parents who are raising their kids to be capable share important mindsets and behaviors What it means to be capable, defined as living a meaningful life with autonomy and agency Why setting a vision of being capable with your child important, and how can it be adjusted as necessary How self-compassion and learning from mistakes are crucial in the parenting journey  Resources mentioned for Raising Capable Kids, Regardless of Diagnosis or Challenge Dr. Deborah Winking’s website Raising Capable Kids. The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of their Child's Label or Challenge by Dr. Deborah Winking Capable on Facebook Capable on Instagram Email Deborah directly at debwinking@outlook.com Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards on Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World (Tilt Parenting episode) I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards Self-Determination Theory The Art of Case Study Research Go to us.JKP.com and enter the code TiltRCK20 to get Raising Capable Kids for 20% off, plus free shipping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amanda Morin, an expert from Understood, joins to share invaluable insights for families preparing for the school year. She discusses strategies for navigating back-to-school anxiety, especially for differently wired kids. Morin emphasizes promoting independence while fostering emotional growth, offering practical tips for parents. Key topics include effective communication with teachers, addressing children's unique challenges, and utilizing resources like a comprehensive Back to School toolkit to ensure a smooth transition.

If you’ve ever used the word “baffling” when describing your child’s behavior, this episode is for you. My guest is Robyn Gobbel, an expert in relational neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology, the author of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work and the host of the podcast The Baffling Behavior Show.As a psychologist, Robyn has always been passionate about working with those kids who have more tricky or extreme behaviors, and she does that by harnessing the power of neuroscience. Through her work with families, she decodes the latest brain science into easy-to-understand principles and metaphors to help parents become an expert in their child's behavior.During this episode, Robyn and I explore the core issues underlying nearly all struggles in children — dysregulation, disconnection, or feeling unsafe — and how understanding the brain's operation in either connection mode or protection mode can transform our approach to parenting. We also touched upon Robyn’s metaphors for the three brain states: the owl (calm), the watchdog (vigilant), and the possum (withdrawn), which can help us better understand and respond to our children's needs.I have a hunch many of you will resonate with Robyn’s experience of feeling like she wasn’t doing enough for the kids she was working with, or that it was her fault they continued to struggle. I know I did. And I also find the reminder that it takes time to figure out how to best support our kids, and ourselves, empowering and optimistic. I hope you feel the same after listening to this episode! About Robyn GobbelRobyn Gobbel, MSW, loves coffee, P!NK, and everything about the brain. Once (recently!) her teenager went ballistic on her for getting ANOTHER (glitter!) coffee mug in the mail.Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grown-ups in the world who love and care for kids impacted by trauma- helpers, healers, educators, and parents.Her favorite thing ever (besides glittery coffee mugs) is teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience.What would change in the world if we could all do that? To see, be with, feel, and deeply know each other…and ourselves. Robyn thinks everything could change. You can get your hands on all sorts of free resources at her website, including her podcast, The Baffling Behavior Show. Robyn is the author of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work. Things you'll learn What relational neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology is Why maladaptive behaviors are in fact adaptive responses to specific environments or experiences What underlies nearly all struggles in children — dysregulation, disconnection, or feeling unsafe How the brain operates in either connection mode or protection mode Why Robyn created the metaphors for the 3 brain states: owl (calm), watchdog (vigilant), and possum (withdrawn) How and why caring for our own regulated state helps us better support others  Resources mentioned Free resources on Robyn Gobbel’s website Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work by Robyn Gobbel The Baffling Behavior Show (Robyn’s podcast) Being With (Robyn’s training program for professionals who work with parents The Club (Robyn’s online community for parents) Interpersonal Neurobiology, explained by Dr. Dan Siegel Bonnie Badenoch Dr. Dan Siegel Dr. Tina Payne Bryson Dr. Allan Schore One Child: The True Story of a Tormented Six-Year-Old and the Brilliant Teacher Who Reached Out by Torey Hayden Dr. Stephen Porges Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Mona Delahooke   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Licensed marriage and family therapist, parent coach, and speaker Debbie Steinberg Kuntz )Bright & Quirky) walks us through a 6-step strategy that parents can employ to help their child thrive that fits the unique way they are wired. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The movement surrounding neurodivergence has evolved so much since I started Tilt Parenting, which I launched as “revolution for differently wired kids” back in 2016. I see changes everywhere — in the language we use, the parenting discussions we have, the deeper understanding of diagnostic criteria for things like autism and ADHD, the adaptations some companies are making to support their neurodivergent employees.A few months ago, I grabbed a coffee with my friend Marcus Soutra, who until recently was the co-founder and president of Eye to Eye, a national organization dedicated to enhancing the educational journey and outcomes of neurodiverse youth, and we got into a deep conversation about all of these changes, and we thought, hey, why not have this conversation for the podcast to explore it further for the Tilt community. So here we are.So that’s what this episode is. A thoughtful look at things like how the language and identity within the neurodiversity community has shifted, why community is a cornerstone of the movement, the ways privilege and access impacts a student’s ability to fully embrace neurodivergence, the potential pros and cons of neurodiversity content on social media apps like TikTok, self-identifying versus formal diagnoses, generational differences in experience, how we can help advance the movement in our everyday lives, and much more. About Marcus SoutraMarcus began his professional journey as a public school teacher before immersing himself in the grassroots movement of Eye to Eye and ultimately running it for nearly twenty years. Drawing from his experiences as both an educator and an individual with dyslexia and ADHD, Marcus deeply understands the challenges faced by students and teachers in navigating the educational landscape. His commitment to dismantling barriers and fostering confidence among diverse learners is evident in his work and advocacy efforts. Marcus has just embarked on a new venture with For The Good Consulting, where he leverages his expertise, network, and personal journey to support other organizations in scaling their missions. Things you'll learn How the language and identity within the neurodiversity movement has evolved towards embracing neurodivergence Why community is a cornerstone of the neurodiversity movement How privilege impacts the ability to embrace neurodivergence, particularly regarding access to resources Where stigma surrounding neurodivergence persists, and how individuals are challenging stereotypes Why early identification and support is crucial for the success of neurodivergent individuals in school and beyond How parents can effectively advocate by supporting their child's self-advocacy and building supportive communities  Resources mentioned For the Good Consulting (Marcus Soutra’s website) Marcus Soutra on LinkedIn Email Marcus Eye to Eye website Rise Act Judy Singer Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman Understood Dr. Mel Houser and All Brains Belong   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author and former NY Times Motherlode editor KJ Dell'Antonia talks about her book "How To Be a Happier Parent" and what she learned about how parents can bring more happiness into their daily lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parent coach Zach Morris joins Debbie to answer a listener question about how to help a twice-exceptional 8 year old (ADHD and Autism), be more flexible and less argumentative in a way that supports the whole family's emotional regulation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For some people, going to the doctor isn’t as simple as going to the doctor. In fact, for many parents of neurodivergent kids, and for many neurodivergent people themselves, interacting with healthcare systems requires researching, planning, and strategizing ahead of time in the hopes of a smooth appointment. Unfortunately, all too often, medical appointments are uncomfortable, stressful, and in some cases traumatic, because they environments and approaches to healthcare aren’t neurodivergent affirming.As a result, traditional healthcare models often fail their neurodivergent patients, which is why today’s conversation is so important, as my guest is a doctor who is passionate about changing medical practices to be more neuroinclusive and community-based on this episode. Dr. Mel Houser is a family physician and Founder and Executive Director of All Brains Belong VT, a nonprofit organization in Montpelier, Vermont with a mission to support the health and belonging of people with all types of brains. All Brains Belong has pioneered an innovative model that integrates medical care with social connection, employment support, and community education.In this conversation, Mel introduced me to the All Brains Belong Vermont, a revolutionary community-driven healthcare model that goes beyond medical care. We also talked about why the traditional healthcare system often fails neurodivergent patients and the serious consequences when they opt out of the medical system, the critical need for healthcare to address not just physical, but also social and emotional needs, and practical strategies on advocating for better healthcare, from understanding access needs and requesting accommodations to challenging the defaults of the current system. About Dr. Mel HouserDr. Mel Houser is a family physician and Founder and Executive Director of All Brains Belong VT, a nonprofit organization in Montpelier, Vermont with a mission to support the health and belonging of people with all types of brains. All Brains Belong has pioneered an innovative model that integrates medical care with social connection, employment support, and community education. Things you'll learn How all Brains Belong Vermont has developed a community-driven healthcare model that integrates medical care with social connection and employment support Why the traditional healthcare system often fails neurodivergent patients What the consequences are when neurodivergent people opt out of the medical system Why it’s critical that healthcare address patients' social and emotional needs What universal design for healthcare is and how it can improve experiences for neurodivergent people How we can all advocate for better healthcare by learning about access needs, requesting accommodations, and challenging system defaults  Resources mentioned All Brains Belong (Dr. Mel Houser’s website) All Brains Belong on Instagram All Brains Belong on Facebook Dr. Mel Houser on LinkedIn All Brains Belong Resource, ALL THE THINGS (Free resource for navigating neurodivergent healthcare) All Brains Belong Kid Connections (Free customized friend-making program for kids age 4-17 based on shared interests) Everything is Connected to Everything: Improving the Healthcare of Autistic & ADHD Patients Brain Club: (Weekly virtual community education program for older teens & adults) Practical Strategies for Neuroinclusive Healthcare (webinar) Milton’s ‘double Empathy Problem’: A Summary for Non-academics   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Marisa Meddin, founder of Talk College To Me and the creator of The 7 Day College Admissions Crash Course For Parents, discusses how students can become the strongest possible college applicants they can be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices