Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

I’m extremely interested in Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal theory and the context it offers for understanding the nervous system experience of our kids. So I was especially interested when my guest’s book, Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection, came onto my radar. Yshai Boussi is the founder of Portland Family Counseling, a therapy practice that specializes in helping children, adolescents, families, and parents. His focus is mentoring at-risk youth, working in residential treatment facilities, and leading intensive experiential workshops for at-risk youth, and he’s adept at applying polyvagal theory to helping parents foster deeper connection and reduce conflict.In this conversation, we discussed how to build and maintain supportive relationships with teens, the crucial difference between "acceptance" and "agreement" when validating a teen's emotional experience, the power of co-regulation, and how a child's state of regulation affects their "story" and meaning-making about themselves and their experiences. A lot of great takeaways in this one, and I will admit to sending the rough cut to my husband Derin to listen to because I found so much of what we discussed highly relevant — I didn’t want to wait! About Yshai BoussiYshai Boussi is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has been working with youth and families for over 20 years. He is the founder of Portland Family Counseling, a therapy practice that specializes in helping children, adolescents, families and parents. His experience includes mentoring at risk youth, working in residential treatment facilities and leading intensive experiential workshops for at risk youth. As a systems trained family therapist since 2003, Yshai has worked extensively in community mental health settings as well as private practice. In addition to working professionally, he and his wife Mariah (also a therapist) are proud parents of a 15 year-old daughter, 12 year-old son, and adult foster son. Yshai is the author of the newly released book, Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection. Things you'll learn from this episode Why today’s teens feel so disconnected and lonely How P.A.C.E. (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) is the “attitude of connection” when it comes to engaging with teenagers What the difference between “acceptance” and “agreement” is when it comes to validating a teen’s emotional experience What the Polyvagal Theory is and awareness of its role can help us understand and better support struggling adolescents Why a child's state of regulation in any given moment affects their “story” and meaning-making about themselves and their experiences Why one of the most powerful things an adult can do for a teenager is to co-regulate  Resources mentioned for: Yshai Boussi’s website Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection by Yshai Boussi Yshai Boussi on Instagram Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana Deb Dana on Befriending Our Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory (podcast episode) Dr. John Duffy’s website Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety: A Complete Guide to Your Child’s Stressed, Depressed, Expanded, Amazing Adolescence by Dr. John Duffy Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety, with Dr. John Duffy (podcast episode) Dr. Daniel Hughes and PACE Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth by Dr. Lori Desautels Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Independent filmmaker Marc Smolowitz (13th Gen) talks about his upcoming film "The G Word", which tackles issues related to giftedness, equity, and social justice for a broad audience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I refer to Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in just about every talk I give to a parent community. Dr. Greene’s quote “Kids do well when they can” changed my life when I first read it about 15 years ago, and it remains as powerful today. So I was especially excited to welcome back to the show child psychologist and author Dr. Ross Greene to talk about how his problem solving model can be effectively used with very young children, even infants.If you are new to CPS, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to our first conversation for the show, where we explored this approach in detail. But in the meantime, in this conversation we delved into why it’s crucial to shift from a compliance-focused approach to one of collaboration and understanding, even starting as early as age two. We also talked about how what we often label as a "difficult baby" is actually an infant struggling to meet our expectations, how using CPS can significantly enhance their well-being, and why we want to question the underlying reasons behind adult concerns — all of these are concept explored in the powerful new documentary, It's Never Too Early: CPS with Very Young Kids.Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the originator of the innovative, evidence-based approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. He also developed and executive produced the award-winning documentary film The Kids We Lose, released in 2018. Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance. He is also currently adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia. Dr. Greene has worked with several thousand kids with concerning behaviors and their caregivers, and he and his colleagues have overseen implementation and evaluation of the CPS model in countless schools, inpatient psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, with dramatic effect: significant reductions in recidivism, discipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, and use of restraint and seclusion.  Never Too Early: CPS with Young Kids (documentary) The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene Lives in the Balance (Dr. Greene’s website) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode features a conversation with licensed clinical psychologist and board certified dance/movement therapist, Dr. Lori Baudino. Dr. Baudino provides therapeutic support to assist parents in understanding, handling, and accepting the challenges of parenting and the complexities of a developing child. She specializes in supporting children identified with special needs, including those with learning disabilities, early life traumas, academic/behavioral/emotional challenges, children on the Autism Spectrum, and with chronic acute illnesses.In our conversation, we talk about the mind-body connection, and how teaching differently wired kids to tap into this relationship and understand their body’s unique language can be a valuable tool as they learn to regulate their emotions, better understand social communication, and more. About Dr. Baudino: Dr. Lori Baudino has been a practicing clinician for over a decade. She received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology and Masters in Creative Arts Therapy – Dance/Movement Therapy, which identifies symptoms and creates ways to express psychological and emotional experiences through the mind/body connection, ultimately transforming words into action. Dr. Baudino is the National Clinical Spokesperson for The Andréa Rizzo Foundation. With their sole funding, she brought the first Dance/Movement Therapy Programs to UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital and Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, where she provides bedside therapy to children with cancer, special needs and terminal illness. She has specialized in supervising, facilitating, and providing treatment for children with special needs and their families, and has worked in psychiatric hospitals and at rehabilitation centers for trauma, addiction, and pain management. Learn more at Dr. Lori Baudino. Things You'll Learn From This Episode: What “body knowledge” is and why it’s so important for differently wired kids How the mind and body are connected How to learn how to recognize the body language and movement profiles of rigidity, tantrums, and more The ways in which body knowledge can support a child’s development How we can learn to be tuned in to our child’s body language How Dr. Baudino uses movement and physical play to help children better understand their emotions What mind-body integration means and why this is what we’re going for Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here → https://nordvpn.com/tilt - It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this solocast, Debbie Reber answers a listener question about what she does to recharge, fill her energetic and emotional reserves, and make time for herself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many parents of neurodivergent kids end up homeschooling at some point or another, for a period of time — some by choice, some because the school environment stopped being the right fit for our kids. If homeschooling is something you’ve considered, have done, or are currently doing,you are going to love this episode. I’m joined by Maren Goerss and Angela Sizer, two former teachers turned homeschooling parents and advocates, the hosts of the Homeschool Unrefined podcast, and the authors of the new book Think Differently About Learning: A Homeschool Where Parents and Children Thrive.I loved this conversation where we explored homeschooling from many different angles, including considerations when homeschooling neurodivergent kids, the common barriers parents face, and why trusting the process and our children is crucial, yet challenging, in a homeschooling environment. We also talk about way viewing children as individuals worthy of respect and autonomy can revolutionize the learning experience, and how following our children's interests can lead to more meaningful and effective education.Angela Sizer earned her Master’s in Teaching and taught in public schools for seven years. For a decade, she homeschooled her own children and loved watching them explore their passions and get excited about learning. These experiences strengthened Angela’s commitment to respecting how children learn and highlighted the role neurodivergence and mental health play in the process.Maren Goerss has her Master’s in Education and taught elementary school for eight years. As part of a neurodivergent family, Maren sees learning differences as superpowers and leans into their strengths. After being a homeschool parent for years, Maren has become an ADHD parent and life coach.Together, Angela and Maren created the podcast, Homeschool Unrefined, in 2016 to share their experience and knowledge as educators and homeschoolers while encouraging parents to notice how their children are always learning. Their podcast and book are a call to parents to reconsider their expectations of their children and themselves. They advocate for doing less, leaning into strengths, and enjoying the process.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the TILT Parenting Podcast, I’m excited to share with you a conversation I recently had with filmmaker Tom Ropelewski. Tom is the director of the highly acclaimed documentary 2e: Twice Exceptional, which came out in 2015, and he’s currently wrapping up post-production on a follow-up film, called 2e2: Teaching the Twice Exceptional.Tom’s films center around Bridges Academy, a school for twice-exceptional kids in Studio City, CA that seems to have figured out the best way to meet the educational needs of these unique learners. In our conversation, Tom shares his story and personal why behind making these films, talks about the educational model at Bridges, describes how his films are helping to bring awareness of 2e kids’ into the mainstream, and gives us a sneak peek at his new film coming out later this year. About Tom: Thomas Ropelewski has written and directed for both film and television. He wrote and made his feature directorial debut with the Orion Pictures comedy MADHOUSE, starring John Larroquette and Kirstie Alley. Other film credits include LOVERBOY, THE KISS, LOOK WHO’S TALKING NOW and THE NEXT BEST THING. His television work includes serving as writer/executive producer for three seasons of Paramount TV’s action/sci-­‐fi series SEVEN DAYS. Recently, Ropelewski produced and directed the documentary, CHILD OF GIANTS: My Journey with Maynard Dixon and Dorothea Lange. The film has been screened at film festivals, colleges and museums around the world. It has also aired on KCET/San Francisco’s “Truly CA” documentary series. He currently resides in Berkeley, CA and is married to screenwriter Leslie Dixon (MRS. DOUBTFIRE, HAIRSPRAY, THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, LIMITLESS). Things You'll Learn From This Episode: Tom’s personal why for creating documentaries How Bridges Academy successfully supports 2e kids The story behind Tom’s film, 2e: Twice Exceptional The focus of Tom’s follow-up documentary, coming in 2018: 2e2: Teaching the Twice Exceptional How Tom’s documentary helped to expand general awareness of 2e / twice-exceptional Why it’s critical to use a strengths-based approach when educating 2e kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As I’m sure I’ve said on the show before, there’s no amount of money that could convince me to go back and relive my teenage years. But I do genuinely love and have so much empathy for kids in this phase of life and all that it entails, which is why I’m so happy to share today’s conversation on the show.I had a chance to sit down with renowned parenting and childhood development expert Ellen Gallinsky, who has just published a phenomenal book called The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens. Ellen spent nearly ten years talking with teenagers about what they think about, what they would like to know, how they feel, and perhaps most interestingly, what they would like adults to understand about them. She shares her discoveries in The Breakthrough Years, and through it, offers a paradigm-shifting comprehensive understanding of adolescence.So in this conversation, we explore some what Ellen shares in her book, including why this phase of life is clouded by so many negative stereotypes and misconceptions, the pivotal brain development and skill acquisition happening during the teen years, the power of "shared solutions" problem-solving in fostering life and executive function skills, and what Ellen learned about teens' need for belonging and how we can support this essential aspect of their development. About Ellen GalinskyEllen Galinsky is President of Families and Work Institute, President of the Work and Family Researchers Network (WFRN), and senior advisor at ACF at HHS. Previous jobs include Chief Science Officer at the Bezos Family Foundation and faculty at Bank Street College. Her life’s work revolves around identifying important societal questions, conducting research to seek answers, and turning the findings into action. Her research is focused on work-life, children’s development, youth voice, child-care, parent-professional relationship, and parental development. She’s the author of Mind in the Making and The Breakthrough Years. She’s also authored 90 books/reports and 360 articles.Career highlights include serving as President of NAEYC, a fellow of the National Academy of Human Resources, a parent expert on the Mister Rogers Talks with Parents TV series, receiving a Distinguished Achievement Award from Vassar College and the 2022 Lifetime Achievement Award from WFRN.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our “Kid’s POV” special podcast episodes featuring conversations with my son Asher are particularly popular, especially among members of the community who like to co-listen with their own differently-wired children. And from time to time, we get emails from listeners who want to know more about Asher and how he deals with certain situations.A few months ago, we did a special episode where Asher tackled listener’s questions specifically related to his social life, and in today’s episode, we’re going to go through some other listener questions, covering everything from how Asher handles big emotions and thinks about his diagnoses to how he stays positive when he gets in trouble just for being who he is. And because many listeners are just curious to know more about who Asher is and what he’s interested in, I threw in a couple of personal questions at the end about his favorite books, games, movies, hobbies, and more.Pro tip: This is a good episode for co-listening! When Asher and I listen to podcasts, we dump a puzzle out on the dining room table and listen while building the puzzle. It makes for a nice combination!  Things You'll Learn From This Episode: How Asher identifies and/or fits in with other kids his age Whether his diagnosis is an important part of how he sees himself How Asher self-soothes when feeling sad or scared or other big emotions Whether his deep areas of interest are ever an issue in relationships with others Whether Asher ever feels down about himself because of challenges that crop up related to his neurodivergence Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As parents, we want more than anything to help our kids thrive, to protect them from pain and harm, and avoid some, or maybe all, of the mistakes we made in our own lives. But what happens when our kids are struggling with really big, difficult, and scary, maybe even life-threatening, stuff? And none of our efforts to “fix” things are making a difference?That’s the focus of today’s show and I am absolutely thrilled to be in conversation about it with Kristina Kuzmic, a mental health advocate, author, comedien and self-described “cheerleader for her fellow humans.” Kristina has just come out with a powerful new book I Can Fix This! (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself while Parenting My Struggling Child), in which she writes about her complex journey of parenting a child struggling with mental health and substance abuse. She wrote it to help other struggling parents reject ideas that keep families stuck and, with her trademark authenticity and wisdom, dispel the lies we believe as parents.This is SUCH a deep, raw, and generous conversation and it is exactly the conversation a parent feeling hopeless and overwhelmed in figuring out how to help their child needs to hear. Truly balm for the soul. About Kristina KuzmicAfter immigrating to America from Croatia during the war in her homeland, and later facing more challenges (divorce, single parenting, poverty, mental health challenges), Kristina’s goal became clear: to be for others what she needed when she was at her lowest.In 2011, when Oprah crowned Kristina the winner of Mark Burnett’s reality TV competition “Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star,” Oprah said, “What is that THING…that’s so charming and charismatic and connected to the audience that makes you feel like, ‘I know her, I want to be her, I’m like her’… Kristina has all of that. She is an ‘IT PLUS’ girl… I wanna watch her!”Since working with Oprah, Kristina has branched out on her own, creating videos about juggling all of life’s challenges, and encouraging her audience to prioritize their mental health. She has quickly become a viral sensation with 2.9 million Facebook followers, over 670,000 Instagram followers, and more than a billion video views.Kristina’s first book, Hold On But Don’t Hold Still has been translated to seven languages. Her second book, I Can Fix This! (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself while Parenting My Struggling Child) was released in May 2024.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices