Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

As my guest said in the episode you’re about to listen to, you don’t have to be a mental health professional to have mental health conversations. In fact, I would say that talking about difficult mental health topics outside of medical settings is not just helpful — it’s necessary in that it both normalizes mental health challenges and reduces the stigma that’s often associated with such struggles.Author and Illustrator Cara Bean also knows this to be true, and is committed to exploring these topics through her art, specifically comics. Cara sees comics as a powerful tool both for teens to learn about mental health, and for parents to lean on for important conversations about complex topics. Which is exactly why she wrote her new book, Here I Am, I Am Me: An Illustrated Guide to Mental Health.Every chapter in this therapist-recommended book explores a different aspect of mental health, from the brain and the mind, to feelings and emotions. By portraying complex neuroscience concepts with a cast of illustrated characters, Cara offers an accessible, approachable understanding of what’s going on in the brain that empowers readers.I really love Cara’s book and so wanted to have her on the show to talk about her process for writing it, and how we can use it to support kids going through hard stuff. So in this conversation, Cara explained the way she visualized thoughts and feelings, why she felt so strongly about including detailed brain science in her book, and the power of metaphors to explain the impacts and struggles of addiction, depression, anxiety, and suicidality, making these heavy topics more relatable and easier to understand. About Cara BeanCara Bean is the author of Here I Am, I Am Me: An Illustrated Guide to Mental Health and Draw 500 Funny Faces and Features. She provides interactive workshops on creativity with people of all ages and backgrounds in various public forums. Cara is passionate about drawing and believes that the simple act of doodling on paper can lead to the investigation of complex ideas.When she is not teaching, she makes comics that delve into poetic self introspection, playful storytelling and topics relevant to teens and teaching. Cara is currently working on comics projects that speak directly to kids and address mental health. Cara lives in Massachusetts with her husband and their dog Raisin. Things you'll learn How comics can provide an honest and accessible way to discuss complex issues The benefits of visualizing thoughts and feelings through thought bubbles and metaphors for enhancing understanding Why Cara felt so strongly about including detailed brain science in the book in order to foster understanding of emotional health and reactions How Cara leaned into the power of metaphors to explain the impact and struggles of things like addiction, depression, anxiety, and suicidality Why Cara wrote her book Here I Am, I Am Me for, and how different readers might approach engaging with it  Resources mentioned Cara Bean’s website Here I Am, I Am Me: An Illustrated Guide to Mental Health by Cara Bean Draw 500 Funny Faces and Features by Cara Bean Snakepit graphic pamphlet for adults John Porcellino (King-Kat Comics) The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens by Ellen Galinsky Ellen Galinsky Takes Us Through The Breakthrough Years and Raising Thriving Teens (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Graphic Medicine Bill Waterson (Calvin & Hobbes) The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence by Jessica Lahey Jess Lahey on Her New Book The Addiction Inoculation (Tilt Parenting Podcast)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Julie Skolnick, the founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, shares tools and strategies for how parents can powerfully advocate for our kids and understand them as learners so we can show up as the best parent we can be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Perry LaRoque, founder of Mansfield Hall and an expert in special education, shares invaluable insights for parents of neurodivergent students preparing for college. He emphasizes core values like awareness and regulation, highlighting crucial skills for independence, such as frustration tolerance. The conversation dives into campus resources, the importance of self-advocacy, and navigating challenges like dorm life. LaRoque also stresses the holistic approach to education, advocating for personalized support and encouraging students to engage proactively with their professors.

Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler explores the concept of resistance in differently-wired kids and shares strategies and tools for how parents can support their kids in learning how to face their resistance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parent coach Margaret Webb joins Debbie to answer a listener question about getting the most out of time spent with a developmental pediatrician, especially when the pediatrician may be minimizing concerns reported by the parents and there is little opportunity to explore questions and goals during appointments. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, we're diving into a topic that will probably resonate with every parent: helping kids navigate the complex emotion of anger. And to explore this critical topic, I’m excited to welcome back the insightful Ginger Whitson, who will share her expertise while we discuss her book How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively.We know that anger is a normal, natural, and physiological experience that all human beings are born with the capacity to feel. Yet many neurodivergent kids struggle with knowing how to experience and express their anger constructively, and they are in need of strategies and non-shaming guidance rather than what so often happens – they are punished for their behavior. So that’s what we get into in this episode — why anger in children can be so uncomfortable for adults to tolerate or respond to, strategies for teaching children alternatives to aggression, violence, or passive behavior, name assertiveness, the importance of adults stepping in as calm presences to help regulate a child's emotions and foster healthy coping mechanisms, and more.By equipping our kids with these tools, we can support their emotional development and help them navigate their feelings more effectively. Enjoy this wisdom-packed episode with Ginger Whitson.About Ginger WhitsonSigne Whitson (Ginger) is a licensed social worker and international educator on topics related to child & adolescent mental health. She is the author of seven books, including How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively. Ginger is also the Dean of Students at a K-8 school in northeastern Massachusetts and the COO of the Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute. Things you'll learn Why anger is a normal, natural, and physiological experience that all human beings are born with the capacity to feel How the way individuals perceive events determines whether they feel anger, and why it varies from person to person Why children who are aggressive or have difficulty managing their anger need adults to help them learn skills to express their anger constructively, rather than being punished for their behavior Why being a calm presence for an angry child essential for helping them regulate their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms How teaching children assertiveness skills and providing them with alternatives to aggression, violence, or passive behavior contributes to their emotional development  Resources mentioned Signe Whitson’s website How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively by Signe Whitson Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute 8 Keys to End Bullying on Facebook 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools by Signe Whitson The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Book for Kids & Tweens: Worksheets, Quizzes, Games, & Skills for Putting the Keys Into Action by Signe Whitson  Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Dr. Debra Brause on the Question: Does Traditional Therapy Work for Neurodivergent Kids? (Tilt Parenting episode) Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting episode) Raising Good Humans with Mindful Mentor Mama Hunter Clarke-Fields (Tilt Parenting episode) Dr. Lori Desautels on Rethinking Our Perceptions of Discipline in Schools and at Home (Tilt Parenting episode)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler talks with 14-year-old Asher about resistance — what it is, why it shows up, how it gets in kids' ways, and what to do about it. This is a special back-to-school episode aimed at kids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m extremely interested in Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal theory and the context it offers for understanding the nervous system experience of our kids. So I was especially interested when my guest’s book, Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection, came onto my radar. Yshai Boussi is the founder of Portland Family Counseling, a therapy practice that specializes in helping children, adolescents, families, and parents. His focus is mentoring at-risk youth, working in residential treatment facilities, and leading intensive experiential workshops for at-risk youth, and he’s adept at applying polyvagal theory to helping parents foster deeper connection and reduce conflict.In this conversation, we discussed how to build and maintain supportive relationships with teens, the crucial difference between "acceptance" and "agreement" when validating a teen's emotional experience, the power of co-regulation, and how a child's state of regulation affects their "story" and meaning-making about themselves and their experiences. A lot of great takeaways in this one, and I will admit to sending the rough cut to my husband Derin to listen to because I found so much of what we discussed highly relevant — I didn’t want to wait! About Yshai BoussiYshai Boussi is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has been working with youth and families for over 20 years. He is the founder of Portland Family Counseling, a therapy practice that specializes in helping children, adolescents, families and parents. His experience includes mentoring at risk youth, working in residential treatment facilities and leading intensive experiential workshops for at risk youth. As a systems trained family therapist since 2003, Yshai has worked extensively in community mental health settings as well as private practice. In addition to working professionally, he and his wife Mariah (also a therapist) are proud parents of a 15 year-old daughter, 12 year-old son, and adult foster son. Yshai is the author of the newly released book, Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection. Things you'll learn from this episode Why today’s teens feel so disconnected and lonely How P.A.C.E. (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) is the “attitude of connection” when it comes to engaging with teenagers What the difference between “acceptance” and “agreement” is when it comes to validating a teen’s emotional experience What the Polyvagal Theory is and awareness of its role can help us understand and better support struggling adolescents Why a child's state of regulation in any given moment affects their “story” and meaning-making about themselves and their experiences Why one of the most powerful things an adult can do for a teenager is to co-regulate  Resources mentioned for: Yshai Boussi’s website Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection by Yshai Boussi Yshai Boussi on Instagram Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana Deb Dana on Befriending Our Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory (podcast episode) Dr. John Duffy’s website Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety: A Complete Guide to Your Child’s Stressed, Depressed, Expanded, Amazing Adolescence by Dr. John Duffy Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety, with Dr. John Duffy (podcast episode) Dr. Daniel Hughes and PACE Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth by Dr. Lori Desautels Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Independent filmmaker Marc Smolowitz (13th Gen) talks about his upcoming film "The G Word", which tackles issues related to giftedness, equity, and social justice for a broad audience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I refer to Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in just about every talk I give to a parent community. Dr. Greene’s quote “Kids do well when they can” changed my life when I first read it about 15 years ago, and it remains as powerful today. So I was especially excited to welcome back to the show child psychologist and author Dr. Ross Greene to talk about how his problem solving model can be effectively used with very young children, even infants.If you are new to CPS, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to our first conversation for the show, where we explored this approach in detail. But in the meantime, in this conversation we delved into why it’s crucial to shift from a compliance-focused approach to one of collaboration and understanding, even starting as early as age two. We also talked about how what we often label as a "difficult baby" is actually an infant struggling to meet our expectations, how using CPS can significantly enhance their well-being, and why we want to question the underlying reasons behind adult concerns — all of these are concept explored in the powerful new documentary, It's Never Too Early: CPS with Very Young Kids.Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the originator of the innovative, evidence-based approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. He also developed and executive produced the award-winning documentary film The Kids We Lose, released in 2018. Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance. He is also currently adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia. Dr. Greene has worked with several thousand kids with concerning behaviors and their caregivers, and he and his colleagues have overseen implementation and evaluation of the CPS model in countless schools, inpatient psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, with dramatic effect: significant reductions in recidivism, discipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, and use of restraint and seclusion.  Never Too Early: CPS with Young Kids (documentary) The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene Lives in the Balance (Dr. Greene’s website) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices