
LOVERS by shan
Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.
Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.
When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Latest episodes

Jun 4, 2025 • 51min
S2 Ep122: Go Where you are Celebrated, Not Just Tolerated ft. Kennedy Ryan
From fatphobia to racism to ageism and ableism, Kennedy challenges the norms around love, desirability, and who gets to be the “main character.” This one’s for anyone who's ever felt left out of the story — and is ready to take the pen back.
Bestselling romance author Kennedy Ryan (Before I Let Go, Reel) sits down with Shan to talk about what happens when women stop shrinking themselves to be chosen. From rewriting the stories we’ve inherited about sex, love, and partnership — to questioning why women with standards get labeled as “too much”
Kennedy opens up about what radical self-worth actually looks like, and why romance should always center women’s pleasure. This episode is a love letter to anyone who’s ever been made to feel like they’re asking for too much. Kennedy shares her love story of being married to Sam for over 20 years while raising their autistic son.
This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today:
https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Follow Kennedy on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/kennedyryan1
Get her latest book https://kennedyryanwrites.com/
Get a weekly love letter from me:
https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter

May 28, 2025 • 1h 5min
S2 Ep121: Having the Sex I’d Want My Daughter to Expect with Xosha
What kind of stories do we pass down through the way we love?
Actor and mom Xosha Roquemore sits down with Shan to talk about sex, self-worth, and how becoming a mother shifted everything. It starts with one question she asked that stopped us both: “Have the kind of sex you’d be proud to tell your daughter about.”
We talk about the early messages she got about sex, how sexual coercion showed up in her past, and why that experience still needs more language. She shares a fun one-night stand story and how even casual sex can feel good when it comes from choice, not pressure.
Xosha also talks about single motherhood, not as a hardship, but as a privilege. Being a mom has made her sharper, clearer, and way more intentional about who gets access to her.
This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today!
https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Follow Xosha on socials
https://www.instagram.com/xoshro/
Get a Weekly Lovers Letter from Me
https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter

12 snips
May 21, 2025 • 1h 9min
S2 Ep120: It Doesn’t End With Him - Jessie Woo on Love and Pursuing Great Sex After Sexual Assault
Jessie Woo, a comedian and media personality, shares her poignant journey of healing and reclaiming sexual joy after surviving sexual assault. She explores the complexities of intimacy and self-love, offering hope for anyone navigating recovery. Joining her is trauma expert Jimanekia Eborn, who discusses the community implications of sexual assault and emphasizes the need for supportive environments. Together, they highlight the importance of open dialogue, personal narratives, and the role of love in healing from trauma.

May 14, 2025 • 54min
S2 Ep119: Death, Love and Grieving What’s Still Here featuring Alessia Cara
Nothing good lasts. Right? In this deeply moving episode, Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara joins Shan Boodram to explore the connection between intimacy, loss, and the fear of death (thanatophobia). Inspired by her song "Sublime" from Love and Hyperbole, Alessia opens up about her personal journey with grief and how it shapes the way she loves and creates. Together, they dive into universal questions: How do we hold on to love while letting go of control? How does the fear of loss impact our relationships, intimacy, and even our everyday choices?
Esther Perel talks about how desire and loss can sit right next to each other. This made me think about how those ideas show up in everyday relationships: the death of connection, the slow fading of intimacy, or the fear that something we’ve built might not last.
When you zoom out, so much of how we attach, how we love, and even how we have sex is shaped by that deeper fear, what happens if I lose this? Or if I lose you? Or if I lose me in this?
Thank You Alessia Cara
http://alessiacara.com
https://www.instagram.com/alessiasmusic
https://www.youtube.com/@alessiacara
Thanks Dame for sponsoring this episode:
Dame makes products designed to enhance intimacy and connection—whether you’re with a partner or flying solo.
http://dame.com/shan
Dame Coupon: SHAN15
Join My Mailing List
https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Lovers Community
If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:
https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

May 7, 2025 • 54min
S2 Ep118: Sleep Divorce: Raven-Symoné and Miranda’s Bold Relationship Move
In this week’s episode, I sit down with Raven-Symoné and her wife Miranda Pearman-Maday for a refreshingly honest conversation about love and what it really takes to sustain a modern relationship. They share why they chose a sleep divorce, and how sleeping separately has deepened their emotional bond, sharpened their communication, and brought them even closer.
This episode is a masterclass in emotional maturity and intentional partnership, an invitation to rethink what a healthy marriage can look like in a monogamix relationship.
Thank You Raven & Miranda
instagram.com/ravensymone
instagram.com/mirandamaday
Catch them on Tea Time with Raven & Miranda, a candid, cozy space where they spill everything from relationship realness to spiritual insights. Streaming now on YouTube.

Apr 30, 2025 • 57min
S2 Ep117: I Lost My Sex Drive Because He Never Did THIS ft Cree Summer
Cree Summer, the legendary actor known for her roles in A Different World and Rugrats, reflects on her journey through love and rediscovery in her 50s. She shares how a lack of emotional shelter in her marriage affected her sex drive and the transformative impact of menopause on intimacy. Cree emphasizes the importance of finding a partner who provides safety and positivity. She also discusses the empowerment of women making the first move in love, her hopes for the future, and lessons on emotional security and self-worth.

Apr 23, 2025 • 41min
S2 Ep116: Don't Waste Your Time With People Like This!
In a rare solo moment, Shan dives into the raw realities of love and relationships. She reflects on embracing imperfections that make connections authentic. The emotional journey of curating personal spaces, like a bookshelf, reveals insights into identity and aspirations. Shan discusses the impact of the pandemic on intimacy, urging growth and deeper connections. Plus, she shares crucial tools for navigating relationships, resolving conflicts, and fostering love through transparency and communication.

Apr 16, 2025 • 54min
S2 Ep115: Soul Ties and Seeking Sacred Love: B. Simone on Chastity and Demisexuality
Are you ready to dive deep into the complexities of love, faith, and identity? In this thought-provoking episode, Shan Boodram sits down with B. Simone to discuss the transformative journey of embracing chastity, understanding soul ties, and exploring the nuances of identity and connection.
While B. Simone does not identify as demisexual, Shan suggests the possibility during their candid conversation, sparking an insightful dialogue about emotional intimacy and sexual attraction. This episode unpacks key topics like:
✨ What You’ll Learn:
Demisexuality: A sexual orientation where someone experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond.
Soul Ties: A deep, often spiritual connection that binds two people, sometimes through shared experiences or intimacy.
Chastity: A lifestyle or mindset of aligning one’s sexual behavior and thoughts with personal, moral, or spiritual values, which may or may not involve abstinence.
Together, Shan and B. Simone explore how devotion to faith, self-love, and personal growth can shape intimate relationships and redefine what it means to truly connect with others.
Whether you’re curious about demisexuality, seeking clarity on soul ties, or inspired by the intersection of spirituality and sexuality, this episode is packed with insights that will leave you reflecting on your own path to sacred love.
🎧 Tune in now, and don’t forget to subscribe for more episodes on love, relationships, and self-discovery!
Thank You B. Simone
https://www.instagram.com/thebsimone
Let’s Try This Again: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz67j2koC3urUkQirbvueCA
https://www.officialbsimone.com/
Join My Mailing List
https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Lovers Community
If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:
https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Thanks Arya for sponsoring this episode:
Arya is a service for couples that helps them break their sexual routine with the help of an intimacy concierge that serves up curated sexy scenes monthly to sign up or learn more go to
http://arya.fyi/shan

Apr 9, 2025 • 47min
S2 Ep114: What Happens to Old Love When You Have New Intimate Needs? Ft Karamo Brown
Does a change in your intimate needs have to mean a change of heart? In this episode of Lovers Shan Boodram sits down with Karamo Brown, TV personality (Karama and Queer Eye), author, and culture expert, for a raw and revealing conversation about intimacy and growth. Karamo opens up about how his intimate needs evolved through his 20s, 30s, and 40s—both emotionally and in the bedroom. He shares how these changes led to the end of a past relationship, where his partner couldn’t accept his evolving needs without taking it personally.
Now, in a thriving new relationship, Karamo reveals how he’s learned to bring his partner along as he navigates these changes, fostering a deeper connection and understanding. This episode is packed with wisdom on embracing growth, improving communication, and honoring your needs without guilt.
Karamo Brown, Lovers and Friends Podcast, Lovers by Shan, Shan Boodram, intimacy in relationships, emotional intimacy, evolving needs in relationships, intimacy advice, relationship communication, breakups and growth, thriving relationships, intimacy in 20s 30s 40s, LGBTQ relationships, personal growth, gay relationship advice, sex and relationships
Thank You Karamo Brown
https://www.instagram.com/karamo
Learn About His TV Show: https://karamoshow.com/
Get His New Children’s Book: https://zandoprojects.com/books/i-am-okay-to-feel/
Thanks Arya for sponsoring this episode:
Arya is a service for couples that helps them break their sexual routine with the help of an intimacy concierge that serves up curated sexy scenes monthly to sign up or learn more go to
http://arya.fyi/shan
Join My Mailing List
https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Lovers Community
If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:
https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Apr 2, 2025 • 44min
S2 Ep113: Partnership Over Pride: Khadeen and Devale Ellis on Defying Gender to Save Their Marriage
Are You Loyal to Your Gender or Your Relationship? Shan Boodram sits down with Khadeen and Devale Ellis, the dynamic married duo known for their raw honesty, humor, and insights on love and relationships. Together, they share how they saved their marriage by breaking free from traditional gender roles and prioritizing their partnership above all else.
Khadeen and Devale Ellis are actors, content creators, and authors of the best-selling book We Over Me: The Counterintuitive Approach to Getting Everything You Want From Your Relationship. Known for their hit podcast Dead Ass and their viral YouTube channel chronicling their family life, the Ellises have inspired millions with their relatable and unfiltered take on marriage, parenting, and personal growth. In this episode the couple talks about the controversy over Devale’s vasectomy, being called a simp, making a plate for your husband, and putting your career on pause so the family can win.
Thank You Khadeen and Devale
https://www.instagram.com/khadeeniam/
https://www.instagram.com/iamdevale/
Read or listen to their book: https://www.amazon.com/We-Over-Counterintuitive-Everything-Relationship/dp/0593577604
Thanks Arya for sponsoring this episode:
Arya is a service for couples that helps them break their sexual routine with the help of an intimacy concierge that serves up curated sexy scenes monthly to sign up or learn more go to
http://arya.fyi/shan