LOVERS by shan S2 Ep149: When Conflict Turns Lovers Into Exes ft. Touré
Dec 17, 2025
53:15
Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. Damage doesn’t have to be.
In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.
Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.
Follow Touré
Website → https://toure.com Toure
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.com
Podcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify)
Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.
Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.
Follow Touré
Website → https://toure.com Toure
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.com
Podcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify)
Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes