Pause Purpose Play

Do you feel the pressure to look perfect and or feel bad about the way you look? Perhaps you wish you looked like the perfect models or influencers on social media? Today's guest is Amanda Thomas, a fashion, beauty and portrait photographer shooting for fashion and beauty brands and ambitious big thinkers. She is passionate about how beauty comes from within and radiates out, and believes that rather than filters and retouching, tapping into a positive frame of mind is what makes you look beautiful. We talk about 3:02 Amanda's photography career 4:42 Nurturing female entrepreneurs 10:41 The effect of confidence on a photo shoot 11:46 Beauty is in how you feel 13:30 Generating intimacy during a shoot 17:02 Working with fashion models 18:38 Retouching and pressure to conform to beauty standards 21:40 The move towards a more 'natural' look 23:25 Filters and their impact on our perception of beauty 27:15 What Amanda has learned about beauty 29:07 Finding balance and pause   Find Amanda's work here Follow her @amandathomasphotographer on Instagram Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

What is a compassionate couple, and how do you create an atmosphere of compassion in your relationship?  What would your day-to-day look like, if you could communicate and resolve issues with compassion?  If your partner is reluctant to address problems in your relationship, tune into this episode to understand that all couples have problems, it's human. If you do address them, you can be having a more rewarding everyday interaction.  To learn more about how to do this, check out my new course The Compassionate Couple, here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/thecompassionatecouple To download the FREE workbook, Balance your relationship, go to: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/relationshipbalance   This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

Mindfulness and meditation can feel fluffy, or like something which is "good for you", but you don't have time for in your busy schedule.  In this episode, I chat with Shamash Alidina about what mindfulness actually is, how you can practise it in a way which suits you, and how starting small with everyday simple activities is a great way to create a new habit of everyday mindful moments.   Shamash Alidina is the author of 10 books including mindfulness for dummies. He’s a mindfulness teacher trainer and ACT coach and loves the combination of mindfulness, kindfulness and playfulness. We talk about 10:04 What is mindfulness? 13:04 Four attitudes of mindfulness 14:08 What is meditation and what is the benefit? 21:33 How to fit meditation into a busy life 22:44 Starting with one mindful breath 24:30 Why we find it hard to maintain practice 26:35 Returning to practice with kindness 28:45 Working mindfulness into your daily life 31:20 Mindfulness and perfectionism 32:58 Doing 80% of a task 35:11 Apps to help 38:48 Purpose, meaning and values 41:25 Play using mindfulness Check out Shamash's book Mindfulness for Dummies and his mindfulness courses on his website, www.shamashalidina.com Apps mentioned: Self control app, Forest Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

Do you struggle to get your point across to your loved one? If you don't talk, how will you understand each other?  It's not just what you say to your partner that matters, it's also how you say it. How you listen and speak with your loved one can determine how effective your problem solving and decision making is too.  This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter fourteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, where we learn about the communication ball game and how to start up conversations better. Order my book here Join the waiting list for The Compassionate Couple here   Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

Do you say no? Can you set boundaries?  In this episode, I'm talking to Naketa Ren Thigpen, about how setting boundaries helps us create balance in our lives.  Naketa R. Thigpen, LCSW, regarded as the #1 Balance & Relationship Advisor in the World  has become the go-to for fast-scaling married women entrepreneurs and power couples seeking to balance love and success without dimming or apologizing for their spirited ambition. We talk about 3:55 Being a recovering perfectionist 6:30 Naketa's life experience 8:39 Giving high striving people permission to slow down 10:30 The effects of the pandemic on high striving people 13:42 The connection between our relationships and our businesses 15:42 Community not competition 16:38 Creating balance 17:40 Shedding old expectations 21:41 The boundaries Naketa sets for herself 23:18 Friendship expectations 26:45 Sharing from personal experience 27:18 Writing the book 'Selfish' 29:08 Reclaiming the word selfish 34:45 Feminism 36:18 Talking from a scar, not an open wound 41:23 A message to Naketa's younger self 44:22 Being a woman of colour in business 51:21 Naketa's take away for you   Naketa's website - https://thigpro.com/ Find Selfish here    Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

How can we survive and thrive after the worst possible happens? How can we reconnect with our purpose, when tragedy strikes and our path is forever altered? Heidi Herkes shares a journey of overcoming paralysis in the hope to inspire and empower. She talks about how challenges are what makes life interesting but overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. In this episode we cover -  4:53 The physical and mental effects of Heidi's accident 6:10 Reconnecting with hope 7:16 Darker moments 8:28 Worrying about the life long impact of disability 9:03 Innovation in technology to help live with disability 10:37 Prejudice and representation 12:27 Reconnecting with creativity 14:47 Changing the outside changes the inside 15:41 Finding your purpose 16:08 Positive mindset 17:52 Toxic positivity 18:38 Sex with a disability 21:32 Emotional impact on Heidi's relationship 22:42 Knowing your worth 26:32 Coping with lockdown 28:42 Inspiration for others 30:55 Heidi's take away for you   Find Heidi at  Instagram @heidiherkes Website www.heidiherkes.com   Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

What matters to you? In your life and in your relationship? Are you acting like the person you want to be? And the partner you want to be? In this episode, based on chapter 13 of my book The Lasting Connection, I discuss values and meaning, and how we can close the gap between our values and our behaviour by making conscious choices to act in line with our values.   Order my book here Join the waiting list for The Compassionate Couple here   Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

In this episode, I talk about learning to accept the darker parts of ourselves and our partner, learning to be compassionate towards every part of you.  This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter twelve of my new book, The Lasting Connection, where we learn about finding compassion for every one of our selves, and write a letter to our partner, expressing that compassion for every part of them as well.   Order my book here   Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

Have you tried to make changes to your life? Drink less, get into shape, or other things to improve your health? How often have you berated yourself when you can't keep it up, when you fail to reach your goal? This week, I'm speaking to Shahroo Izadi about how kindness is key to achieving our goals and changing our habits.  Shahroo is a Behavioural Change Specialist, speaker and bestselling author. Her approach is influenced by the experience that she gained working in the addiction treatment field. She has since been dedicated to highlighting what those in long-term recovery from substance misuse can teach the general population about motivation, self-compassion and self-awareness.  Her first book, The Kindness Method, was released in June 2018. She was named as one of Red Magazine's Smart Women of 2018 and selected for Marie Claire’s 2019 verified Power with Purpose List, and in November 2019 she was given the ‘Thought Leader of the Year’ Award at House of Lords. Her second book, The Last Diet was published in the UK in 2019 and USA in 2020.   We talk about: 4:09 Shahroo's mission: The Kindness Method 5:59 Shahroo's weight loss journey 8:34 Accepting natural weight fluctuations 10:30 External validation from weight loss 14:20 Changing your attitude to your body 16:15 Evaluating your emotional toolkit 17:45 The diet industry 18:19 Perfectionism 21:20 Common sticking points over change 24:29 Acting as if you like yourself 26:59 Dealing with our instant gratification world 30:00 Treating change as an experiment 30:47 Creating a path of least resistance for yourself 33:00 Controlling what you can change 34:33 Considering motivation for change 36:12 Creating change in relationships 41:00 Authenticity and vulnerability as practitioners 46:22 Shahroo's take away for you Find Shahroo at  Website: www.shahrooizadi.com Email: contact@shahrooizadi.co.uk Twitter: @shahrooizadi Instagram: @shahroo_izadi Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media  

Do you get angry? We all do, it's human. If you are hard on yourself for your anger, or want to find ways of relating to your anger differently, tune into this episode with Dr Russell Kolts.    Dr. Russell Kolts is a clinical psychologist and Professor at Eastern Washington University, USA. He has worked with anger issues in combat veterans, sexual assault survivors, children and adolescents, and the developmentally disabled. In addition to teaching at the university, Dr Kolts runs a practice focused upon mindfulness and the purposeful cultivation of compassion in the Buddhist tradition. He has volunteered at a local state prison where he has worked with prisoners in addressing anger using meditation and the cultivation of compassion.   We cover: 5:30 Compassion focused therapy 6:25 Expressing anger towards people we love 7:57 The compassionate approach to anger 10:10 Avoidance of our problems 12:41 Working with his own anger 13:40 Modelling to our children 15:48 Motivation for change 16:37 Letting go of shame 17:49 Shame vs guilt 18:48 Self-compassion 19:22 The challenge of asking for help 19:50 Why seek a therapist 21:25 Anger directed inwards 22:40 Anger as a secondary emotion 25:05 Compassion towards others 26:27 Russell’s take away for you   Book - The Compassionate Mind Guide to Managing your Anger Russell’s TED talk: Anger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong | Russell Kolts | TEDxOlympia - YouTube Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media