Pause Purpose Play

Does your brain run a million miles an hour, and it's hard to stop? Do you have cycles of either procrastinating or being hyperfocused on a task, to the point of burnout? In this episode, I talk to Michelle Minnikin about her experience of the ups and downs of living with ADHD. Michelle Minnikin is a Chartered Psychologist and Coach. She’s the Captain of Work Pirates and Co-Founder of Inspiration North. She was diagnosed as having ADHD just before her 42nd birthday and suddenly her world made sense! We talk about  06:00 Thriving off rules, structure and routine 12:05 Struggling with organisation  12:58 Fulfilling potential and recognizing strengths 15:18 Hiding coping strategies 17:59 “Good girl” conditioning 19:10 Using up energy to “fit in” 21:37 Rejection sensitivity dysphoria = the pain of criticism 22:30 Neurodiversity 23:26 The diagnosis stopped feelings of ‘being rubbish’ 26:00 Anger over being mistreated 28:53 The strengths of ADHD 31:29 ADHD in men and women 33:40 Calming the brain with medication 35:50 Coming to terms with your true self 43:48 Playing Big   Michelle Minnikin | LinkedIn   Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

If we want to both survive and thrive in our relationships, we need to allow the time and space to heal from hard times, as well as take the time to turn up the fun and build intimacy together in the good times. In this episode, I explain the balancing act between enjoying your time together through shared activities and repairing your relationship when things have been tough. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter nineteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.    Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here To spend 90 days to develop love and compassion for yourself, join the online course, The Compassionate Couple, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

Catherine Hallissey is a chartered psychologist, parenting coach and mother-of-five young kids. She's the founder of Reclaim Parenthood, an online parenting membership. She helps parents use the power of relationship and connection to address parenting challenges, create more peace and harmony at home and help children become more confident and resilient.   8:00 Restraint collapse and comparing home and school behaviour 9:45 Overcoming triggering behaviour 11:54 Vulnerability over shortcomings 14:38 Past experiences affecting your parenting style 15:54 Embracing imperfection in ourselves 18:54 Healthy repair of ruptures 22:40 Rejection and forgiveness 25:08 Self-compassion and parenting 27:42 Self care for ourselves 29:00 Amplifying good moments with our kids 30:58 Revenge bedtime procrastination 32:56 Finding the balance between having time for yourself and getting enough sleep Find out more about Catherine at www.catherinehallissey.com   Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

Have you ever tried to have a date night that turned into a disaster? An attempt to do something you once enjoyed together that ended up with an argument instead?  Without reducing the negatives in our relationships, it can be hard to increase the positives.  In this episode I explore turning a mirror on ourselves, to find the things that we are doing too much of, not enough of, and those things we are doing right, to help us turn down the heat in our conflicts. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter eighteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.    Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here To spend 90 days to develop love and compassion for yourself, join the online course, The Compassionate Couple, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

In this episode, I talk to Bec Milligan about combining EFT and good nutrition to rebalance your busy life.  Bec is a Nutritional Therapist and EFT (emotional freedom) practitioner with a special interest in guiding busy women from borderline burn-out back into balance, supporting both the physical symptoms and emotional triggers that the pressures of a fast paced, juggling it all life can have on the mind and body.  We talk about -  6:31 Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) 11:09 Bec’s personal journey 15:59 ‘Optimal’ health 18:20 Living in the moment 20:24 Rejecting not being good enough 23:15 Not punishing yourself with healthy choices 25:35 Adding good stuff, rather than taking away the bad 28:03 A process, not a diet 29:02 Micro changes you can make Regulating sleep, eating and waking Eat the rainbow Tap it to tame it 36:40 The social value of less nutritious foods 39:06 Eating healthily most of the time 40:24 Seeing your symptoms as signs 41:53 The inability to slow down 45:59 Fad diets   Find Bec on Instagram @becmilligan_ and find out more at https://www.becmilligan.com/ Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media  

Do you need to be fully compatible to have a lasting connection in your relationship? Having that 'click' and being a 'perfect match'? No, what's more important than chemistry and compatibility is compassion and connection.  This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter seventeen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.    Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here To spend 90 days to develop love and compassion for yourself, join the online course, The Compassionate Couple, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

In this episode, I talk to Lara Sheldrake about how overworking and hustle culture has an negative impact on our success, and how accepting imperfection and being kinder to ourselves is more helpful in meeting our goals. Lara is a speaker, mentor and the founder of founder of Found & Flourish, an online membership, media and events platform for women in business. She has been listed as a top influential female founder and business leader in f.Entrepreneur and in Startups Magazine. We talk about: 3:00 Lara's journey from burnout to flourishing 9:00 Resistance to work from friends and family 12:39 Calibrating for perfectionism 13:01 Being forced to slow down by the pandemic 15:24 Blend, not balance 19:00 Learning from burnout and being kinder to self 21:00 Change the narrative around 'successful' 23:51 Workaholism and 'hustle culture' 25:50 Busy does not equal productive 33:07 Embracing perfectionism as an imperfection 34:59 Overcoming people-pleasing 39:48 Play - mindfulness by doing 46:36 Lara's take away for you Find out more about Lara www.larasheldrake.com and Found and Flourish www.foundflourish.co.uk Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

How do you reach a compromise in your relationship? What are the things you fight about over and over?  All couples have perpetual problems, and feel like you keep going around in circles and not reach productive problem-solving. Rather than seeing the other person as the problem, you need to see yourselves as a team who together solve the problems between you.  In this episode, I talk about how to make decisions as a couple, without one or both of you feeling you have sacrificed rather than compromised. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter sixteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.    Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here To spend 90 days to develop love and compassion for yourself, join the online course, The Compassionate Couple, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

How do we heal difficult experiences from our childhood? And how to they impact us as adults, in our relationships? How do painful childhood experiences shape our attachment styles? In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, we get to know more about attachment styles, trauma and the unconscious mind keeping a score of what we've been through, giving rise to protective behaviours, which can ultimately still be changed.  Thais Gibson is an author, speaker and co-creator of the Personal Development School, best known for her contributing work and research on Attachment Theory and the impact of attachment trauma on our adult romantic relationships. She overlaps attachment trauma challenges with personal core wounds, limiting beliefs and emotional patterns at the subconscious level to give us deeper insight into ourselves and our relationships.  We talk about 4:58 Thais' story 9:15 Bringing a high achieving attitude to recovery 11:30 Noticing a critical inner voice 13:30 Thais' recovery from addiction 16:42 Healing attachment pain from childhood 18:10 Internalising our upbringing 21:00 Patterns in attachment styles  - 22:44 Securely attached  - 24:54 Insecure dismissive  - 27:42 Anxious preoccupied  - 30:22 Fearful avoidant 35:43 Steps to combat protest behaviours 44:54 The benefits of inner work 54:31 Why we self-sabotage Find out more about Thais at www.personaldevelopmentschool.com Thais Gibson on Youtube Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

The pursuit of perfection gets in the way of connection, both in how you put pressure on yourself to BE the perfect partner and to FIND the perfect relationship.  If you get hooked by the perfect images from social media and romantic films, and compare yourself to that, you will feel disappointed. To compare is unfair and leaves you in despair.  In this episode, I talk about how letting go of perfection in ourselves, and our relationships, can lead to deeper connection. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter fifteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, where we learn about finding compassion for every one of our selves, and write a letter to our partner, expressing that compassion for every part of them as well.   Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here To spend 90 days to develop love and compassion for yourself, join the online course, The Compassionate Couple, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media