Pause Purpose Play

Change is hard. Have you decided to change any of your habits this year? Want to be healthier in some way, or shave off some of your annoying sides? Well, my friend: If nothing changes, nothing changes.  In this solo episode, I look at how we can change our habits by embracing failure, so make sure you have a pen and paper handy, because I have six tips for changing habits for you at the end.   To watch my free masterclass for ambitious female entrepreneurs, How to Burn Bright Without Burning Out, go to: https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection

Can a little pause really make a big difference? What does pausing add to our lives - and why don’t you want to do it? I’ll be discussing this and more with my guest today, Chris Johnson. Chris Johnson, PsyD., is the founder of Q4 Consulting, Inc. and the Core Presence Institute™. Her passion is cultivating exemplary leaders, collaborative teams, healthy workplaces, and thriving communities. In this episode we talk about -  Making peace with pausing, accepting that you need to rest Why pausing is important for us in our work The double-edge sword of pausing, feeling both calming and scary When pausing, we notice thoughts and feelings we want to avoid Mindfulness and pausing is not a panacea for feeling good The benefits of pausing - in our work, relationships and wider life Permission to allow yourself to pause and take a break Pausing helps us move into flow and productivity Passion, pleasure, potential and purpose being linked with pausing Why pausing matters for leaders ‘Permacrisis’ – permanently being in crisis from pandemic, political unrest and cost of living crisis Ways to pause and the power of being here now The resistance to stop being linked from rushing, urgency, impatience, busyness Martial arts, yoga, dance and other body based activities into mindfulness and pausing You can find out more about Chris at www.q4-consulting.com or email her at DrChris@Q4-consulting.com To watch my free masterclass for ambitious female entrepreneurs, How to Burn Bright Without Burning Out, go to: https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection   This podcast is produced by Emily Crosby Media.

Follow your passion! But do so sustainably, so you're not flirting with burnout. As it is easy to overdo it when you are passionate about making an impact. Too much of a good thing is still too much.  This short solo episode covers: Tips for following your passion sustainably, the importance of downtime for a purposeful life, and how you make wise decisions about protecting your capacity and harnessing your energy, to better utilise your potential. Remember: if you burn out, you cannot burn bright. To watch my free masterclass for ambitious female entrepreneurs, How to Burn Bright Without Burning Out, go to: https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection

Do you work too many hours or push yourself to achieve things even at your own detriment? You want to be successful, but maybe you’re not clear on what success looks like for you, and confuse it with what the patriarchal definition of productivity looks like – clocking up at least 40 hours a week. This solo episode was an experiment – recording an Instagram live mini training onto the podcast at the same time, with any free flow imperfections that brought, so turn the volume down a bit for better audio.  The session focused on your relationship with five factors which influence how you get stuck in a rat race at work and in your business – your relationship with success, with yourself, with productivity, with achievement, and with comparison with others. Listen to this episode to learn more about: How do you define what successful means? The inner work we do helps us level up in our business too Masculine energy and definition of performance rules, meaning working 40 plus hours a week to be ‘productive’. Corporate hangover – need to be constantly doing something to be productive, face time at the office Attaching your self-worth to achievement, then you will feel like a failure when you make a mistake Comparisonitis and how understandable it is When you DO address these patterns, you can start to build more enjoyment. As it is SO common to get stuck into these patterns of overworking, please share this episode and talk to your friends about it. It is possible to unpick and change these patterns.    Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media.  

Are you passionate about changing the world? About bridging the gender pay gap, or otherwise minimising the marginalisation of women? About doing good in the world, wanting to help others? Perhaps you want to do SO MUCH, that you get so overwhelmed you end up taking no action at all? Then listen up, as whatever impact you want to have, you need to consider how you minimise the negative impact on yourself in the process, to avoid burnout. In this episode, I speak to inspirational Keri Jarvis, who is a Developmental Coach, Intersectional Feminist & Community Activist. In this episode we talk about: Feminism as equity for all Our inability to escape marginalization Outwitting the patriarchy is a scam You can’t mindset away systemic factors Lack and scarcity   The programming behind ambition Your perception is real - women do more The systemic issues with self-care as burnout solution How we can make an impact, achieving changes to the systems with less impact on us The danger of ‘saviouring’ - being the best at changing things is a patriarchal capitalist norm Our worth is not in our productivity Taking messy, imperfect action to do good Not being perfectionist about helping The effects of overextending yourself Rest as resistance against the toxic productivity narrative Play as following our body’s urges   You'll find Keri at https://kerijarvis.com/ Keri referenced the book Rest is Resistance by the Nap Ministry  - https://thenapministry.com/   Find out more about my transformation 6 month group coaching Burn Bright at https://thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright/ Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection

Working mothers are more vulnerable to burnout today, juggling the demands of work with caring responsibilities.   I know what it's like to run a business and to navigate two young kids. It's not easy, and it's not perfect.   I hope that this solo episode will help you realise and recognise some of the patterns in yourself which might mean that you're on the path towards burnout, or help prevent you from replicating patterns of previous burnout.   To avoid hitting burnout and creating a work/life balance serving both your well-being and your bank balance, sign up to my free webinar How to Burn Bright without Burning Out on 10th February at 12.00 (replay available after this date) https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright/   Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media.

In this episode, you’ll learn more about why striving for perfect in your business burns you out – and what to do about it. We’ll cover three big problems female entrepreneurs face when juggling their business with their home life – and also think about three common patterns of perfectionism which make make business owners struggle.   Sign up to my free webinar How to Burn Bright without Burning Out on 10th February https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright/ Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media.

All work and no play, does that bring you joy? In a culture where toxic productivity is praised and rewards you with achievement, it’s hard to stop and appreciate beauty, to find everyday joy.    In this episode, I speak with Tamu Thomas about how difficult it is to let go of toxic productivity, and move towards everyday joy and moments that matter instead. By letting the joy in, we also let the pain in.    Tamu Thomas is a Qualified Social Worker & Somatic Coach. She helps high-achieving women feel emotionally safe so they can recover from toxic productivity & under-living.   We cover:  Overfunctioning impacts your body Somatic coaching, whole body approach Conditioned to over-productivity Appreciate the joy in every day Negativity bias blocking present joy Taking care of pain, fear, sorrow Toxic productivity and unrealistic expectations ‘Hack’s for overfunctioning dismiss humanity Showing up for ourselves with trust Western culture treating people as machines Fight/flight - got to be productive Freeze - overwhelmed ‘Not enough’ness, proving your worth Resistance to slow down, preparing for sleep with bedtime routine False sense of control from over working Working with yourself, not on yourself - you’re not a project Harmony improves productivity in a nourishing way Polyvagal theory and feeling safe   Tamu can be found at www.livethreesixty.com and @livethreesixty on Instagram Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here To spend 90 days to develop love and compassion for yourself, join the online course, The Compassionate Couple, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

How do we heal difficult experiences from our childhood? And how to they impact us as adults, in our relationships? How do painful childhood experiences shape our attachment styles? In this, my most popular episode, I talk to Thais Gibson about attachment styles, trauma and the unconscious mind keeping a score of what we've been through, giving rise to protective behaviours, which can ultimately still be changed.  Thais Gibson is an author, speaker and co-creator of the Personal Development School, best known for her contributing work and research on Attachment Theory and the impact of attachment trauma on our adult romantic relationships. She overlaps attachment trauma challenges with personal core wounds, limiting beliefs and emotional patterns at the subconscious level to give us deeper insight into ourselves and our relationships.  We talk about 4:58 Thais' story 9:15 Bringing a high achieving attitude to recovery 11:30 Noticing a critical inner voice 13:30 Thais' recovery from addiction 16:42 Healing attachment pain from childhood 18:10 Internalising our upbringing 21:00 Patterns in attachment styles  - 22:44 Securely attached  - 24:54 Insecure dismissive  - 27:42 Anxious preoccupied  - 30:22 Fearful avoidant 35:43 Steps to combat protest behaviours 44:54 The benefits of inner work 54:31 Why we self-sabotage Find out more about Thais at www.personaldevelopmentschool.com Thais Gibson on Youtube Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media

When is enough enough? If you find yourself burnt out from the corporate environment, trying to be all things to all people, should you stay or should you leave? Is it worth holding on and hope for thing to improve, or are the gestures that organizations make towards mental health awareness not enough? These are the issues I’ll be tackling today with my guest, Fiona Kearns.  Fiona Kearns is a business psychologist who helps people get rid of self doubt, to feel confident about playing huge in life and work. She loves the thrill of helping clients manage their impostor syndrome to become confident, visible and more impactful. In this episode we talk about: Coming back after burnout Boundaries and strategies for being sustainable in work Women needing to be ‘less nice’ and push back Finding who can support you at work Documenting your experiences, collecting evidence to protect yourself Victim blaming and gaslighting Compassion and validation of your emotions The ‘golden handcuffs’ forcing you to stay Job sharing to focus on results and working optimally in less time Strategies for being sustainable at work Add fun back in outside work to reclaim your life Are organizations changing for the better?  You'll find Fiona under Kearns Consultancy. https://kearnsconsultancy.com/    Find out more and join the waitlist for Burn Bright at https://thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright/ Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection