Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em Podcast

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comNancy has messy beach hair, and Sarah is expanding her yin, so this week we tackle:* The meltdown at CNN* Who is Chris Licht, and no, it’s not L-i-c-k-e-d. (Note: This episode was recorded before Licht resigned on June 7.)* Can cable news be saved?* FAIR vs. FIRE, and the push from the center* Walking is not exercise?!?* A New York Times arts critic skewers Hannah Gadsby’s Picasso show* Sarah and Nancy take the over-under on said show’s popularity* The sleazy 90s bad-good thrill that is HBO’s The Idol* The line between women’s sexual agency and women’s sexual exploitation* The joys of local newsAnd much more!

Good Saturday morning, or I guess Sunday for you, from Buena Park, California, where the Knott’s Berry Farm rollercoaster shushes past every few minutes, accompanied by screaming. It’s like being in a Jordan Peele movie! Being in Los Angeles reminds me of coming to Los Angeles, which reminds me of Tim and what, as a rural Oklahoma boy, he wanted with every meal, an item a New York City ate maybe twice a year, at the holidays, namely: Gravy.But not this kind! Cleaning out my mom’s pantry earlier this year I found a can of this and, more as a science experiment, decided to see what might be done with it. After adding salt, pepper, a splash of sherry and some butter, my best solution was to pour the stuff down the drain, really, save yourself the trouble (and the money!) and make homemade, recipe in episode notes.As I relate in the episode, I met Tim Sampson on the PBS miniseries Roanoak, about the lost colony thereof. I am not sure whether this opening canoe scene is the same one I tell you about, the one where Tim saved me from drowning. But maybe!I mention here that, after Tim and I fell in love, I followed him out to California. I bought a used station wagon in upstate New York and slept in truck stops on my way west. My first stop was somewhere west of Pittsburgh. It was late, and the all-night diner was open. I sat at the serpentine counter and ordered a grilled cheese and watched the waitress pout coffee for a man in a Carhartt (or similar) jacket and watched them quietly talk, watched as she lingered holding the coffee pot. My impression was that there was intimacy here, maybe not a relationship so much as a conversation picked up each time he stopped in. Or maybe it was just this one time. Maybe this was her gift, her job. I am sure I had some sort of reading material that I ignored as I watched them.It was not until four years later that I wondered whether I always somehow knew the work I was headed for. By that time, the drive cross-country yielded what’s below.Episode notes: “The neighbors at Curson Avenue in West Hollywood were mostly Armenian, including the dozen or so housedress-clad older women in the apartment complex next door, women who would verily ululate at our fence when they realized we were having another get-together for two hundred. On the other side was a two-story complex where my brother’s friend Todd lived. Todd was a plumber who shared an apartment with his mother-in-law, an Armenian widow in black, and his SoCal, short-shorts-wearing wife. At twenty-four, Todd already had two kids, the first born blind. Todd spent every afternoon in our yard smoking pot, and that’s where he was when his wife banged open the screen door and stood on their balcony. “TAHD!” she screamed, “I’M PREGNANT AGAIN!” “Cool,” Todd squeaked, trying not to exhale. - “Meet the Neighbors,” from Forty Bucks and a Dream, Stories of Los Angeles, by Nancy RommelmannDances With Wolves was a pretty massive cultural event, especially so for Native actors, as many more historical westerns were about to be made and provide employment.Many of these young actors started down to LA from the rez, some of whom wound up hanging at the home in Hollywood where Tim and I lived with our baby girl.These included Rodney Grant and the late Steve Reevis. Tantoo Cardinal had appeared in an earlier movie with Tim called War Party.Will Sampson talking about how all the Indian heroes for kids are dead. I’ve told the story (scroll down) of how my daughter Tafv wound up playing the part of “Gram” on Reservation Dogs. The below does not include her opening scene with Lily Gladstone:Tafv went on to set decorate an independent film called Fancy Dance, which also stars Lily, who also stars in another movie you might have heard of.You see this trailer, and her appearance in Rez Dogs, and it does not need to be explained that her acting is otherworldly. Writing about Josh Drum and all the other young Native actors who passed through our home and whom I cooked and cooked and happily cooked for, in 1990-1992. “Taking My Ex Back In (for His Own Good),” by Nancy Rommelmann (New York Times “Modern Love”)I cannot carve out the video of Tim going “Mmmm!” but it’s here, scroll through. The second to last image is from our daughter’s wedding day, when we knew Tim was terminal. Okay okay, let’s make some gravy. It’s flexible, just remember the ratios and up them depending on how much you want to make:2 tablespoons fat or meat drippings, 2 tablespoons flour, 2 CUPS stock or other liquids. (I accidentally said tablespoons in the audio.) You can play with this in any number of ways; add some wine or sherry or fresh-chopped herbs. It’s super-easy and makes dinner festive!GravyAdd chicken fat or beef drippings to a frying pad. Heat over medium heat until bubbly. Using a rubberized whisk, add flour. Cook two minutes, stirring constantly, until flour takes on a bit of color. Add about a 1/4 cup of liquid and whisk, Mixture will seize up. Add another 1/4 cup and keep whisking until gravy loosens. Continue adding and whisking until you have a smooth gravy. Add salt and pepper to taste.Gravy is very flexible! Using cream for up to half your stock in a beef gravy is lovely.And please, I beg of you, send me your best biscuit recipes xx This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com/subscribe

Atlantic writer and essayist extraordinaire Caitlin Flanagan joins Smoke ‘Em to discuss:* Who saw the ending coming?* The “failson” that was Kendall, and why does Sarah want to fix him?* The louche character of Roman, nihilist* Shiv meets the fate of her mother, her worst fear* Why the Greg theory of victory was never gonna wash* A father’s love: The real narrative drive of the show* “It takes three generations of American life to make a Shakespeare scholar”* Freud’s repetition compulsion* The funeral episode and the speech that was Nietzsche meets The Fountainhead* Shiv and Tom: “A change has come / she’s under my thumb”* That nasty Jeremy Strong profile in the New Yorker* Why “privilege” is a shallow metric to talk about a human life This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comTopics covered:* Which American cities have the highest percentage of people wanking at work, and evidence that we've entered “a golden age of masturbation” for better or worse* Is Ozempic also an anti-addiction drug? The secondary benefits are compelling* How is the Martin Amis novel Money like foie gras?* Amis, who died last week, joins the list of voices we miss: Tom Wolfe, David Foster Wallace, Christopher Hitchens* How Anna Nicole Smith shape-shifted into the American dream, and what it cost* The documentary scene about Smith’s life that super-disturbed Nancy* That time Sarah almost got plastic surgery* The men in our hot boxesAnd much more!

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comThe writer/podcaster/documentarian Jon Ronson joins Nancy and Sarah, and they could not be more excited. Highlights include:* Jon compliments Sarah, Sarah swoons* The podcast inspired when Jon’s 11-year-old son asked if he knew PornHub* Jon’s pronunciation of porn (“pohhhhhn”) and the strange spectacle of adult entertainment, including two-camera orgies and bespoke porn* The sin of “both-sidesism”* The hardest story Jon ever had to report* Why Jon turned down Piers Morgan* Jon’s new Audible podcast “The Debutante” about the mystery of Carol Howe, who may or may not have been able to prevent the Oklahoma City bombing* Dial-A-Racist?* Informants get $25 a day?? * “Things Fell Apart” season two on the way!* The problem with defining people by small slivers of their lives* A judge caught masturbating during trial and other untold storiesGo see Jon in London! He’ll be appearing at two events later this month, a May 24 “Things Fell Apart LIVE!” and a non-fiction writing workshop on the 28.Things fell apart, but we try to put them back together. Why not become a paid subscriber?

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comIn this exclusive North American interview, Wallis covers the following:* The nature of false accusations, borderline personality diagnoses, and whether “mutual abuse” exists* How live-tweeting the UK trial “fed a rapacious audience” that went tribal during the pandemic, and how his tweets got more than 10 million views* Why “believe women” clashes with a journalist’s mandate to question everything* Can you ever accurately litigate something that happened behind closed doors?* How one bad marriage wound up in two different legal judgments* Is the court of public opinion more important than real courts?* Curious encounters with American food, including Blondies (“what are they?”) and half-and-half (a big thumbs-down)* Jimmy Saville, Britain’s #MeToo poster boy* The best Australian comedy series right now* Period drama, by which we mean menstruation* The greatness of Eurovision* How many inches is Sarah’s integrity? The answer may surprise you!We hustle out of love, but it never pays the bills. Consider becoming a paid subscriber.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comIn what might be Nancy’s favorite Smoke ‘Em episode to date, she and Sarah discuss:* The mass shooting on May 6 in Allen, TX, where Sarah drove the next morning to check out the scene * The problem of guns and the moral dilemma of violent real-life pictures: Do they numb us to reality or push us toward action?* The subway killing of Jordan Neely, including attempts to paint his killing as racially motivated and politicians “gravestanding” for political goals* Sebastian Junger on “Why Men Seek Danger” and maybe why you should, too* Our coronation correspondent wonders: What up with Michael Strahan’s lisp?* When you write something controversial and the subjects who once derided you start looking to you for answers* The best survival movie Sarah has seen in years* What is the sexiest quality in men?* Sarah squirms in her chair as Nancy tells a near-death driving story from Panama* How we deal with geniusesAnd much more! Also: Mail-call! Send us your compliments, criticisms, suggestions, and desires, and we’ll read them on an upcoming episode. smokeempodcast@gmail.comWe believe in reporting that is calm and compassionate and following our curiosity and our guts. Doing this podcast gets easier when you become a paid subscriber

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com* Who wore it best? Jared Leto’s catsuit, Chrissy Teigen’s negligee, Kendell Jenner’s bathing suit and other appropriate/inappropriate attire at the Met Gala and the Washington Correspondents’ Association Dinner* The decline of BuzzFeed and Vice, and some love for Traffic author/media columnist Ben Smith* The problem with women’s magazines, including the time Marie Claire inserted something disturbing into Sarah’s, um, opening* The time Gene Simmons told Nancy he wouldn’t pay her* Is Robert Kennedy Jr. a rancid narcissist or a troubled addict who deserves sympathy. And by the way, who is he?* Some Robert De Niro love, and the dress Sarah wants to buy after watching Casino* A lesson from Succession on undermining someone’s confidence at the last minute* Sarah’s triumphant appearance on House of StraussAnd so much more!Don’t forget (what we forgot to mention): This coming Sunday is the First Sunday Zoom! Deets sent to paying subscribers day-of. It’s not too late!Become a paid subscriber, and find out who will show up to our Zoom hang in a cat suit.

Every affair has its origin story. At “Smoke Em,” ours began when Sarah wrote an article Nancy appreciated so much she called her on the phone. One year later, they’re together in Nancy’s Chinatown recording studio, teeing up episode 68, including:* Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon getting the heave-ho on the same day and what this might portend for TV news* You gonna trust Ben Dreyfuss?* Blue checkmarks: Who cares?* “Blocked and Reported” makes a case for why you might care* Podcast names that (thank God) didn’t make the cut* Amanda Fortini, awesome writer* Cokie Roberts gives marriage advice* Nancy’s fave part of “Smoke” so far (hint: it involves Sarah’s writing!)* Meanwhile Sarah reminisces about … Pop Rocks?* Nancy makes kick-ass fake animal noises* What did we teach each other?* That time David Sedaris tried to avoid writing in the first person * Nancy’s least favorite words are …* FIRE is the new ACLU* Sarah gives Nancy an anniversary gift, firmly establishing who the wife is in this relationship, and who the husband.And much more! We’re sharing this entire episode with our listeners, whether they pay or not, but if you’d like to give us a gift, we have some ideas:Thank you for coming along with us. Let’s keep going. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comThe Dalai Lama did a very weird thing. Harlan Crow’s memorabilia collection causes a national scandal. Over in Dallas, Sarah drives to Crow’s mansion to confirm that rich people do indeed buy the craziest things, while Nancy jets off to good old Portland and finds: So much! (The phrase “death eaters” is used.) Also: Sober sex, fancy hotels, and which of us is more likely to dance?In the paid-subscriber bonus: MILF Manor finale! The greatness of Succession’s Matthew McFadyen, the Fox-Dominion lawsuit, and Sarah drops her head on her lap as Nancy uses a word you’re not supposed to use anymore. ATTENTION: There will there be an IRL Smoke ‘Em meet-up this Sunday, April 23 in NYC, starting at 6pm. Details coming soon for paid subscribers.Rumor has it there will be dancing. Will Nancy be imbued with grace from her current Barre3 addiction? Will Sarah bust out David Lee Roth moves? Come find out! Confirm we aren’t ChatGPT bots with a groovy meet-up, but only when you become a paid subscriber.