The Oscars were surprisingly good this year. We discuss the most moving moments, including the teary comeback of Brendan Fraser, the resilience of Ke Huy Kwan, the art-school weirdos who became the big winners, The Daniels, and why Lady Gaga is the Real Deal. Also discussed: The Carpenters (pro or con?), the tricky business of the American Dream, the argument for cultural appropriation, should Sarah do Ozempic, and how tall is Salma Hayek? Hint: Sarah-size.In the bonus episode: Mysterious allegations against Michael Irvin prompt Sarah to talk about that time he stabbed his Dallas Cowboys’ teammate in the neck, why it’s hard to write about the dark side of sports, plus the notorious Jerry Jones and the NFL force field. Matt Taibbi testifies before Congress, enrages some journalists, becomes a hero to others. MILF Manor has a quality twist coming our way. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comWelcome to our longest episode yet! The Oscars were surprisingly good this year. We discuss the most moving moments, including the teary comeback of Brendan Fraser, the resilience of Ke Huy Kwan, the art-school weirdos who became the big winners, The Daniels, and why Lady Gaga is the Real Deal. Also discussed: The Carpenters (pro or con?), the tricky business of the American Dream, the argument for cultural appropriation, should Sarah do Ozempic, and how tall is Salma Hayek? Hint: Sarah-size.In the bonus episode: Mysterious allegations against Michael Irvin prompt Sarah to talk about that time he stabbed his Dallas Cowboys’ teammate in the neck, why it’s hard to write about the dark side of sports, plus the notorious Jerry Jones and the NFL force field. Matt Taibbi testifies before Congress, enrages some journalists, becomes a hero to others. MILF Manor has a quality twist coming our way. Also: Send us your letters! smokeempodcast@gmail.com. We’ll read the best listener letters and answer salient questions in an upcoming episode. Everything everywhere all at once (possible oversell) when you become a paid subscriber.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comAfter sustaining “the atom bomb I needed to follow my passion” (her imminent layoff, her husband having an affair), Lisa Schroeder went to cooking school and, in 2000, opened Mother’s Bistro in Portland, Oregon. From day one the place was packed, everyone wanting what Schroder calls “Mother Food” – meatloaf and gravy, chicken & dumplings, and a brunch t…

Good morning from Chinatown NYC, where there are no avocados in my 42-square foot (including counters and all appliances, listen, it’s like walking a gang plank) kitchen, just a COVID test in-progress and some excellent coffee from Panther Coffee, based out of Miami. The owners, Joel and Leticia Pollock, are friends from the iteration of my life after Los Angeles, we met them in Portland, from whence they decamped for Miami, to open a coffee roasting business.“Nency, Nency, can you write something for us?” This is Leticia - and here I am badly botching her Brazilian accent - asking back in 2009 that I write to the local licensing bureau explaining what coffee roasting was, the idea being totally foreign and apparently causing officials to think someone was trying to burn down the city. I did; Panther opened in 2010 and now has something like four million locations in Miami (okay, six). You should go. We are going back further today! To 1990, when my daughter was less than a year old and I saw two young women my age pushing baby strollers past my house on the street that led up to the Hollywood Reservoir. Stay to the end for a sweet addendum.Two corrections: Charlie’s first band was the Plugz. (The Cruzados were second.) And toward the end I accidentally say “mash the garlic” when of course I mean, mash the avocado. Also: COVID, negative.Episode notes: Charlie Quintana, whose first and only job besides as a drummer was delivering flowers for one day in his native El Paso. He was sixteen when the band he formed and The Plugz (video) became successful. Charlie went on to become part of the Cruzados, The Havalinas and other bands, and toured and/or recorded with Bon Dylan, Social Distortion, John Doe, Cracker, Joan Osborne and, if I am not mistaken, the Gin Blossoms. I remember (though I am finding no confirmation of) this because sometimes when Charlie played in Los Angeles he would nab me some tickets, and when the Wallflowers played at the Greek Theater, lead singer Jakob Dylan announced (I am not kidding here), “This goes out to Nancy,” before launching into, “One Headlight.” (I had told Charlie I loved the song.) Maybe I’m wrong! But that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.Well lookie here, I found some audio of “Meet the Neighbors.” (Or you can read it.)“Charlie Quintana, drummer for the Plugz and Social Distortion, dies at 56,” by Randy Lewis (Los Angeles Times)“Taking My Ex Back In (for His Own Good),” by Nancy Rommelmann (New York Times Modern Love)Guacamole, adapted from Charlie Quintana* 5 ripe avocados* Salt* One-half yellow onion, chopped small* 2 - 3 jalapenos, chopped small, leave some seeds* Handful of cilantro, chopped* Juice of 2 - 3 limesMash the avocado and salt. Add onion, jalapeno, cilantro and stir. Squeeze on lime juice. Adjust to taste.Charlie playing with Bob Dylan on David Letterman 1984 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comThe journalistas discuss whether “women writer” is a valuable identity and then welcome guest Stephen Elliott (who is many things but not a woman). Once a celebrated author and the founder of The Rumpus, Elliott is better known these days as the man who sued “Shitty Media Men” creator Moira Donegan, a lawsuit he recently settled. Elliott was raised in group homes, and he says his legal action came from a moral obligation to fight a list he characterized as a “false accusation machine.” Donegan pledged never to apologize, a promise she kept, but the eventual settlement ran into the six figures. Elliott opens up about the danger of anonymous accusations, the pain of losing deep friendships, why nobody remembers joining a mob, and the strange freedom that comes with literary exile. As he says, “You can’t be canceled twice.”In the bonus: Nancy’s AI reads her ChatGPT. The Toronto Raptors basketball team celebrate Women’s History Month — and promise to do better. Chris Rock splits Twitter, lights up Netflix, and what does “misogynoir” mean? Sarah thinks Nancy just started a beef with Chris Rock; Nancy claims they’re all good (weigh in, commenters!). Hot boxes include a documentary on the Sarah Lawrence con man, Matt Welch’s questionable advice for dealing with a bear, and a message for the ladies on this international day in our honor.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comBy Nancy RommelmannI put most of my Portland coverage on my Substack, Make More Pie, where I almost never post audio. Since you all are audiophiles, and on the chance the story is of interest, I am cross-posting the episode here - NRThe streets of Portland may be calmer than during the 108 straight nights of violence in 2020, but are things better? Or are they just as bad but in different ways?Photographers Chelly (@hunnybadgermom on Twitter) and Michelle (@cocainemichelle) cover the city, including the current rise in homelessness and drug addiction, the uptick in crime, and the exponential shredding of the social fabric. They chronicle the deterioration of downtown, where the vacancy rate is set to hit 40%, and speak with those filling the void. Lifelong Oregonians, they see citizens variously unwilling to see these issues as problems, and fleeing the City of Roses because of them.How did Portland get to where it is? Have decisions based on presumed compassion - to not prosecute property and some violent crimes; to provide support if not treatment to drug users — led to bad outcomes? And are better days two years away, or two decades?Episode notes:Video I took while driving Thomas Chatterton-Williams, February 2022One Michelle took, January 2023Rebranded Foster-Powell, Felony Flats was a great neighborhood nameFrom Measure 110, which decriminalized personal-use amounts of drugs:“On November 3, 2020, Oregon voters passed Measure 110, approving two shifts in how the state deals with the use of illegal drugs. First, the measure reduces penalties for drug possession, making Oregon the first state to decriminalize the personal possession of illegal drugs. Secondly, the anticipated savings achieved from the current cost of enforcing criminal drug possession penalties will be combined with marijuana sales revenue to fund a new drug addiction treatment and recovery grant program.”Emphasis mine. Oregon ranks second-highest in rate of substance abuse and 50th in access to treatment. Since the passage of 110, “funding has been slow getting out of the gate and instances of drug abuse and overdose deaths have increased,” and agencies are currently fighting over who gets to siphon off funds earmarked for drug treatment.“A Murder in Portland,” by Nancy Rommelmann (Washington Examiner Magazine)“Destruction and Hope in Portland,” which I wrote for Persuasion, featured North Portland resident Kurt Martig who, like Michelle, was shocked at how many people on NextDoor are willing to reimagine the destruction of other people’s property as no big deal. (NB: Martig and his family moved out of Portland last year.)“I go on Nextdoor.com and I’m seeing things like, ‘People have insurance, things are less important than lives,’” Martig said. “I’m like, guys, you’re hurting innocent bystanders, the business owners are getting hurt, the employees are going to get hurt, the customers, it’s all the way down.”Others disagreed. Someone at the dog park told Martig he should factor in “the decades and centuries of oppression and understand why people are doing what they’re doing.” A friend told him that the cops were always worse.“It kind of breaks down to, you can either be one way or the other,” Martig said. “Which is a false choice.”“Nike Offers to Pay Police to Guard Portland Store From Shoplifters,” by Mike Impelli (Newsweek)“Portland, Ore., Once Among Safest U.S. Cities, Struggles to Cut Homicide Rate,” by Zusha Elinson (Wall Street Journal)“We looked at Portland's crime rates. Comparatively, they're not so bad,” by Andy Giegerich (Portland Business Journal)About that bucket of diarrhea sloshed into a police station…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comWelcome new subscribers to Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em! We are super-stoked that Substack included our little pod as a Featured Publication. Quick lay of the land: Free subscribers get notified whenever we post an episode, and can enjoy 45-60 minutes of a free preview. Paid subscribers get our undying love and the full fig — including pop-culture recommendations and the juiciest bits of the conversation — along with the ability to comment in our active and (may we say) impressive Smoke ‘Em community, plus exclusive access to bonus episodes and solo ventures, like Sarah’s Friday-night “Smoking Diaries” and Nancy’s Sunday morning “Pie Talk.” We have Zoom hangs every first Sunday of the month for paid subscribers, where we enjoy laughter, civic debate, and (occasionally) wigs. Now, as they say, on with the show …We start with the sad tale of Alec Baldwin and the Rust gun tragedy, then discuss a blockbuster New York Times magazine story on the inner lives and private turmoil of police in Louisville, where Breonna Taylor was killed. It’s a rich, empathic portrait that likely wouldn’t have appeared last year, just like recent stories on the probability of a lab leak in China and the futility of masking. Is culture taking a turn? Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot was ousted the evening after we recorded this episode; it could be a referendum on violent crime. Here at Smoke ‘Em, we aim to humanize stories that get ripped of context and nuance by an ever-churning media machine and its social-network accomplice. The NYT story — which is, full disclosure, written by one of Sarah’s closest friends, journalist Jamie Thompson — gives us an opportunity to sympathize with another side, and prompts stories about lost love (for Sarah) and Portland chaos (for Nancy).Plus: Sarah squicks out “moderate MILF” Nancy by telling her about a massage challenge on the latest episode of MILF Manor; the etymology of “cuffing season”; the secret allure of Alabama; blue eye shadow, Y/N? And much more!Reminder: Zoom hang this Sunday, 3/5, 8pm ET/5pm PT, for paid subscribers. Link will be emailed on the day-of!

We are talking feeding people this week, and Portland, and who counts as family. Yes that’s the little one in the pic, and me in the ‘stache. What a weird party that was! We wound up in a long conversation with an editor from another city, a visitor who tried to laser-beam you with his charm. “Don’t you know the effect you have on men?” he later said, to one of us, a line I found kind of hilarious, like something from a book called, “Ninety Things To Say To A Woman That Might Get You in Her Pants.” The guy’s life later went up in flames, and pretty publicly. I’m not throwing a log on that fire but will say, I was less than surprised.We are also talking this week’s literati flare-ups (the stealth editing of Roald Dahl, the never-ending crusade against of J.K. Rowling, dust-up #609 at the Times) and their opposite, the people who come to your aid. Why not also feed them some chicken?Episode notes:“Taking My Ex Back In (for His Own Good),” by Nancy Rommelmann (NYT Modern Love)I misspoke when I said You Must Remember This is Kat Rosenfield’s second book. It’s her fifth! But the second I’ve read, and which I love love love love love.Paloma-cam during Kat Rosenfield’s party for No One Will Miss HerMy Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em partner, Sarah Hepola, went on record saying “The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling” will be the Podcast of the YearI think we are all coming to realize that late 2020/early 2021 was a time when certain segments of the media and the public-at-large became absolutely possessed with a desire for the blood of their colleagues. I’ve written and talked about Donald G. [I accidentally said “J.”] McNeil Jr. a dozen times. He and Andy Mills, an original creator of the NYT’s “The Daily” as well as its once-crown jewel podcast “Caliphate,” were both ushered out of the Times in February 2021. McNeil now writes on Medium, and Andy is working with Bari Weiss’s The Free Press, including on “The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling.” Good work will out. And speaking of not canceling people…Katie Herzog and Jesse Singal update the NYT flame-wars on the most recent episode of Blocked & Reported, “Times Wars, Episode IX: The Normies Strike Back.”Signs of the tide shifting? Penguin Random House to publish 'classic' Roald Dahl books after censorship criticism, by Theara Coleman (The Week) “NPR to Cut 10% of Its Staff,” by Katie Roberson (NYT)Hoisin ChickenThis recipe is very easy to double or triple. Cooking time will depend on the size of the chicken thighs and how many you have in the pan.* 8 chicken thighs, skin on* Salt and pepper* 3/4 cup hoisin sauce, Lee Kum Kee brand preferred, thinned out with 3 - 4 tablespoons soy sauce Preheat oven to 375F.Salt and pepper the chicken thighs on both sides and place them, skin side up, on a rack inside your baking pan or sheet. The rack will prevent the thighs from sitting in the cooking juices and becoming less crisp. No problem if you don’t have a rack! Bake until chicken skin starts to brown, about 25 minutes. Pour and brush on hoisin-soy mixture. Make about another 20 - 25 minutes, until thighs are nicely shellacked.The drippings from the pan can be poured as-is over rice or, better, heat them in a small saucepan until somewhat reduced and yummier, about 5 minutes.Serve chicken with sticky rice and a cucumber salad: peeled and seeded cucumbers, sliced and mixed with rice wine vinegar and a large pinch of sugar and a smaller pinch of salt. Add some chopped fresh basil, mint or cilantro if you’re feeling fancy.Three ways to make sticky rice! (Also called glutinous rice, sushi rice, and sweet rice.) I have not had great luck making sticky rice in the rice cooker, and have never tried the microwave method. Let me know if you do!Everything is more delicious when you become a paid or free subscriber This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comTwo recent controversies prove the power of words, and also our country’s near-hopeless division. Publishers of Roald Dahl’s children’s classics, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, were busted making edits that removed “offensive” passages for modern audiences, an effort spearheaded by a group called Inclusive Minds (“consultants and campaigners,” according to their website). Nancy and Sarah sift through the reactions and dangerous implications, and wonder: What are we asking — or rather, enforcing — that our children give up? Could it be delight?Meanwhile, Nancy and Sarah are loving a new podcast from The Free Press, “The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling.” Hosted by Westboro Baptist Church apostate Megan Phelps-Roper, and masterminded by exiled The Daily producer Andy Mills, the show interviews the author born as Joanne Rowling and reveals her to be sympathetic, deep-thinking, and (of course) complicated. The show has only dropped two episodes, but it’s Sarah’s current vote for Podcast of the Year. Whatever you think of Rowling (and can anyone tell us how to pronounce her last name?), this podcast is an extraordinary peek into a pressing controversy — not that such value would ever stop the haters.Also: Sarah sings the Oscar Meyer jingle. MILF Manor gets a new MILF. Who is Nancy’s vote for the most popular humorist of the past 50 years? (Hint from Sarah: It’s not the most popular humorist.) And: Is Dave Barry funny? A debate.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.comEarlier this week, nearly 200 New York Times contributors sent an open letter to the “paper of record,” excoriating its coverage on trans issues. GLAAD followed suit, with a letter that also made clear demands. The Times responded with a cool head. The end, right?Nope. The ensuing drama consumed journo Twitter, and by Friday, more than a 1,000 contributors signed the open letter. What’s at stake is not merely the paper’s coverage of trans issues (which is far deeper and more rigorous than the open letter suggests), but the nature of journalism itself: Should it describe the world as it is, or as it should be? What role should activism play in today’s newsroom? Are the people who signed the letter on the right side of history, or the wrong side of history? And what if history actually has no sides?This week we devote the entire episode to this impassioned, twisty, and personally high-stakes conversation for us as journalists. We talk about fear, careerism, peer pressure, along with friends who signed the list and those who conspicuously did not. Cameo appearances by: Emily Bazelon, Judd Apatow, Michael Powell, Matt Welch (duh), Bari Weiss, Alex Pareene, Taylor Sheridan, and someone named Peppermint.Also: Will Nancy pen the Moderate MILF manifesto? Why is Sarah on the bacon Wikipedia page? Plus, love and romance in our hot boxes.