Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

What if your parents’ divorce didn’t just split your family—but left you quietly carrying the blame?Most people think the hardest part of divorce is the day it happens. But often it’s the confusion, the pressure to act like everything’s fine, and the haunting thought: “Was it my fault?”In this episode, Jim Havens shares his journey of growing up in a broken family, spiraling into destructive choices, and the night everything changed. That turning point led him to healing, faith, freedom, and eventually to becoming a husband, father of six, and Catholic radio host.We talk about:Why “just move on” might be the most damaging advice you can getThe moment Jim realized he wasn’t as “fine” as he thoughtWhat one lonely night revealed—and how it changed everythingIf you’ve ever asked yourself, “Was it my fault my parents split up?” or wondered if you can truly build the marriage you long for, this conversation is for you.Watch the Documentary: KennyWatch the Trailer: Kenny (3:31 min)Visit Jim’s WebsiteVisit Catholic Family Men  Get the Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your FaultRead the Article: Is masturbation harmful? by Jason EvertGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Heather thought her family life was normal. But over time, she uncovered two buried traumas that quietly shaped her childhood—and required deep healing.Years later, as a newlywed, another wound came to light: her husband’s secret porn addiction. It shattered her—but it also became the turning point for restoration. Heather now calls it both the worst day and the best day of her life.In this episode, we dive into:Why she didn’t leave, and the non-negotiable conditions she set to even consider stayingHer advice for women facing the same gut-wrenching discovery, and for young people who just found out about a parent's addiction or affairHer biggest lesson for anyone from a dysfunctional family—and the practical steps she recommends to start healingIf you’ve ever found yourself wounded or betrayed, wondering if healing and restoration is possible, this episode is for you.Listen to Abiding TogetherVisit Heather’s WebsiteListen to Restore the GloryListen to the Healing Sexual Brokenness SeriesGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidShownotes

Am I doomed to repeat the mistakes I saw in my parents’ marriage? That question made me afraid of love—especially when I started dating. At times, it even made me not want to get married at all. And now, even as a married man, that fear still shows up.If you come from a divorced or deeply dysfunctional family, you probably feel it too.The question I kept asking: How do I avoid that? How do I not get divorced? And more importantly, how do I build a strong marriage?That’s what we explore in this episode, plus:Are children of divorce actually doomed to fail at marriage—or is there real hope?5 surprising predictors of whether your marriage will last—including one tip that lowers your divorce risk by 25%The truth behind the “soulmate” myth—and what actually makes couples happyWhy staying single might not be the safe bet you think it isIf you’ve ever felt afraid of love or marriage, this episode is for you.Buy Dr. Brad’s Book: Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save CivilizationView Restored’s ResourcesGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidShownotes

For so many of us from divorced or dysfunctional families, the tension with our parents doesn’t just fade. It can grow into silence, distance, or even a total cutoff where we can become estranged from each other. But what exactly is estrangement, why does it happen, and how can you rebuild an estranged relationship? In this episode, we discuss that and more:The subtle ways parents (and children) unknowingly push each other awayWhy grief is often buried beneath family conflict—and how to face it without getting stuckWhen reconnection is wise—and when staying estranged might actually be saferIf you’re dealing with an estranged relationship, this episode is for you.Visit Kreed’s website, TheEstrangedHeart.comGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidGet the Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your FaultGet the Guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or DivorcingShownotes

In many places, we’re facing an epidemic of fatherlessnes. Fatherlessness not only leaves an invisible mark but it also shapes how you view yourself, how you handle your emotions, and how you love in relationships. So are fatherless children doomed?Not at all. In fact, Tommy shows how to compensate for what you didn’t receive from dad and how healing is within reach. In this episode, we also discuss:His dad’s spiral into mental illness, homelessness—and why Tommy hasn’t seen him in over a decadeThe hidden ways father hunger shows up in dating relationships, causing us to seek what we never received from the wrong peopleThe lies he carried for years: “I am alone” and “I have to earn love”—and the truth he found to break that gripIf you experienced any sort of fatherlessness, this episode is for you.Get the Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your FaultGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidShare Your StoryShownotes

So many of us from divorced or dysfunctional families never learned how to deal with pain and suffering in a healthy way. As a result, we usually either numb the pain or get stuck in bitterness. But what if you could not only learn how to navigate pain in a healthy way, but actually draw meaning from your pain and emerge stronger? That’s what we discuss in this episode, plus:The shocking diagnosis Jack received at 11—and how it rewired his entire futureWhy suffering always pushes you into one of three paths (and how only one leads to freedom)The 3 ways to find meaning in suffering and the obstacles that prevent itIf you’re suffering, perhaps because of your parents’ divorce or the breakdown of your family, this episode is for you.Get Jack’s Course or FREE Class: RISE: Drawing Meaning from Suffering Through the Lens of St. John Paul II, Victor Frankl and JesusBook a FREE Mentorship Session with JackGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidGet Joey’s Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your FaultJocko Willink "GOOD" (Viral Video)Shownotes

When Brandy was only a few months old, her parents divorced due to her father’s alcoholism. From the outside, her story might seem like a “best case” scenario—she was raised by a courageous single mom and later a kind stepfather. But underneath it all, she carried wounds no one could see. She believed perfection was the path to love. She feared becoming like the very people who hurt her. One wound even stayed buried for 20 years. In this episode, we explore:The shocking memory that resurfaced in adulthood—and what it revealedWhy her marriage should’ve failed statistically—and how she and her husband beat the oddsAnd what her mom did right that every divorced parent needs to hearIf you've ever felt pressure to be perfect, feared repeating your parents’ marriage, or kept wounds hidden, this episode is for you.Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidGet the Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your FaultEpisode 84: Angry at God? Why People from Broken Families Struggle Extra in Their Relationship with Him | Sr. Miriam James Heidland Episode 39: The Anatomy of a Wound & How to Heal | Dr. Bob Schuchts, PhDShownotes

What is attachment theory? How does your attachment style impact your relationships? As an expert in attachment theory, Kirsty Nolan joins us to discuss all of that, plus:The four attachment stylesWhat happens when you have a secure attachment early in childhood, but later experience a rupture because of trauma, like your parents’ divorceTips on resolving conflict, specifically how to repair after a ruptureIf you’re curious about attachment styles or just want a healthy relationship, this episode is for you.Listen to Kirsty’s podcast, Attachment Theory in ActionGet help from Kirsty’s organization, ChaddockGet the Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your FaultGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidShownotes

What happens when you become your parents’ emotional confidant—their therapist—during a divorce? At first, it might feel like you’re helping. But eventually, it backfires and might even break you. That’s what happened to Cole. In this episode, we explore:How he went through his parents’ separation twice—and how each one affected him differentlyHow he’s slowly rebuilding family relationships after stepping away to healWhy even small decisions felt impossible—and how he learned to choose with confidenceIf you’ve ever acted as your parents’ therapist—or felt crushed by their divorce or the chaos at home—this episode is for you.Share Your StoryGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidWhy you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss | TED#036: Healthy Relationships Are Impossible Without BoundariesCelebrate Recovery CommunityShownotes

So many of us feel depleted and exhausted, yet we might not know why. This is especially true for those of us from divorced or broken families. Research shows that children of divorce typically have worse physical health and more emotional problems. But thankfully, that doesn’t have to be your story. Going from depleted to healthy on every level is not only doable—but simpler than you think, according to my guest.In this episode, we discuss:9 often-overlooked pillars of health that could be sabotaging your wellness.The top 4 areas of health where most people need to start. Quick and simple tips you probably haven’t heard to feel and be your best.If you’ve struggled with your health in any way or just desire to be healthier, this episode is for you.Enroll in Reform OnlineFor 10% off, use code: RESTORED10 (valid until June 15, 2025) Comment end  Visit ReformWellness.coGet Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidView Restored’s ResourcesShownotes