Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Do you feel quarantined out? Are you struggling with feelings of getting it all wrong? We’re right there with you.  Author, speaker, and mom of four, Laura Smith chats with us about giving ourselves grace as we parent in these hard days. We talk about navigating the disappointment our kids are facing, while also finding hope in the bigger picture of Jesus.  Laura gives us a great reminder about using this time to model our faith well. She also discusses her new book and speaks to the power of hymns. Her insight and wisdom gave me new life!  Join us today and walk away humming “Amazing Grace”—that’s a promise!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I played in a band growing up.  Okay, so it wasn’t so much “a” band as “the” band. I played the clarinet and—if I’m honest—I felt pretty good about it until I hit high school. The first time I saw my sporty friends head off to their games, dressed in cute uniforms, I became keenly aware that my elective of choice was lacking in the cool department. There I was, left behind holding my plume (you young kids google the plume and you’ll understand my woes).  While practicing with 200+ other band members, I learned some great lessons on the hash marks of the football field. The lesson that has stuck with me the most is this: the greatest success in a marching band performance is achieved when the individual band member is completely unnoticed. As we raise kids in a culture basking in recognition and praise, it’s counterintuitive to teach our kids the value of going unnoticed. It’s not that they aren’t gifted and called to use their talents for God’s glory, but it’s our job to teach them to be willing to do so in a way that draws attention to the giver of the gift rather than the gift itself.  Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so that he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgement for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because he was sold out to his Father’s will and the bigger picture of the gospel.  Join me and my dear friend, Julie Hildebrand, today as we talk about the important but difficult task of raising humble kids. And as we consider what humility really means this week, let the wisdom of Rick Warren sink in: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you have found yourself wondering what it’s like to live in New York City during a pandemic, Eric Metaxas is your guy! On today’s episode of Pardon the Mess, he speaks to this question and so much more.   Metaxas is a New York Times #1 bestselling author, the host of the Eric Metaxas Radio Show, an international speaker, and a trusted cultural analyst on CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC. More significantly, he’s a devout Christian. He brings the encouragement we could all use during this pandemic, a time that has led many to cope with feelings of discouragement and despair.  Metaxas shares the good he believes is coming from these challenging days and asks whether this time can lead to a revival in the midst of suffering. Eric and I talk about the heroes that are emerging during this crisis and highlight the importance of raising our kids to know their true heroes (instead of those society deems worship-worthy).  His new book, 7 More Men, speaks to this topic. It chronicles historical Christian heroes of faith who inspire us to live out our faith, whatever the cost. I was encouraged, inspired, and honored to do this interview with Eric and feel certain you will feel the same. Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’m not sure there’s anything more significant we can pray for our kids than praying for their purity. Our culture is riddled with confusing messages relating to sexuality, and pornography is pervasive in our technology inundated world. If we’re honest, raising kids with biblical purity can seem near impossible in today’s culture.   Noel Bouché of pureHOPE joins us today to talk about what purity really means (and doesn’t mean). He reminds us that purity is not adherence to a list of do’s and don’ts in sexuality, but it’s a lifelong pursuit that doesn’t end after adolescence or on our kids’ wedding night. Hint: as Christians purity is less about an accomplishment and more about a relationship.   As we pray purity over our kids this week, we’re reminded that Jesus always pierces the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome the truth (John 1:5); therefore, we put our hope in the One who brings hope and purity in the middle of a dark world. Let’s pray that our kids will pursue Jesus all of their lives because only in Jesus will they experience purity that comes from his transforming grace.Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“There’s blessing in any story that ignites our longing for Christ.” —Nicole Zasowski This is my favorite quote from today’s podcast, words that ring true as we consider our days in the COVID-19 pandemic. This time of uncertainty can either create more anxiety and unrest in our lives, or it can create a longing for an even deeper connection with Jesus, as we recognize that this world is not our home.   I’m praying we emerge from these hard days with a renewed hope that only comes from trusting in him. As we do this, I’m thrilled to share with you my conversation with Nicole Zasowski. We talk about identifying the things in life that keep us in bondage (think—performance, control, shame), and how freeing it is when we’re willing to give the reins back to the Lord.   During our conversation, Nicole vulnerably shares about her journey with infertility and how the Lord transformed her pain into healing. She focuses on how God is not the author of hardship, but that he is gracious enough to use our pain to accomplish his bigger purposes. What a perfect lesson during this week of National Infertility Awareness.   So grateful for each of you. Please know that I am praying for you as we continue to adjust to this new normal. Send us an email if we can add you to our team’s prayer list or to let us know how you’re doing.Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

My husband, Mike, grew up in a wonderfully loving home, but his family did not know Christ. He did not learn about Christianity until high school, when some baseball friends invited him to Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). These high school boys didn’t have all the right words or the big doctrinal arguments that best resonate with my husband. Nope—Mike just remembers how they lived differently than the rest of the pack, and how it made him want what they had. I’m so happy to have Mike on our podcast today, talking about some of the mentors who have impacted his life. I am excited to engage with him in prayer for those who will influence the lives of our children. And as an added bonus, we will share some of our family’s most recent quarantine chronicles. I can promise you—you won’t want to miss it! As we’re spending lots of time with our families these days, it’s a great opportunity to model the importance of prayer to our children. Let us be an example of how to turn to God no matter what we’re facing. I’ve written a seven-day prayer guide to help families pray through these COVID-19 times. Download your free copy today, and please consider sharing it with your friends!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Wynter and Jonathan Pitts were married for fifteen years and twenty-seven days, until July 24, 2018, when Wynter unexpectedly went home to be with the Lord. Wynter left behind a family of four girls, a handful of books, and a ministry to tween girls—For Girls Like You. The niece of Tony Evans and the cousin of Priscilla Shirer, Wynter came from a strong family of faith. Jonathan Pitts is a speaker and executive pastor at Church of the City in Franklin, TN. He joins us today to speak about seeing God’s goodness in the middle of the pain of loss. His testimony is faith-filled and rooted in the knowledge that God allowed his wife to complete her mission before he took her to heaven.  Jonathan shares some of the truths found in the last book Wynter and he completed just hours before her passing—Emptied: Experiencing the Fullness of a Poured-Out Marriage. Jonathan and I talk about marriage, raising girls, living life in quarantine, and so much more. Jonathan’s mission to carry out Wynter’s ministry, while raising their daughters, is going to encourage you! Be sure to follow us on social media @pardonthemesspodcast to get notices on our Instagram Live events as well many other encouraging parenting resources. We want to walk the parenting road with you!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I wrote a blog a few years ago about a period of time when my daughter had a problem with apologizing. Actually, she didn’t have a problem with the act of apologizing, it was more of how she did it. It went like this: I would get on to her for something, and she would respond by saying: “I’m sorry?” Eventually, I figured out what was making my skin crawl—her alleged apologies were presented as a question. The words were right, her heart was not. Try it sometime during quarantine. When someone calls you out for being grouchy, respond with: “I’m sorry?” I bet they won’t love it. We focus a lot on apologizing when our kids are young. But do we focus on the opportunity for forgiveness presented by an apology? Proverbs 19:11 reminds us that it’s not just good to forgive, but it’s to “one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Rebecca Carrell joins me today to chat about forgiveness and praying it over our families. During these stay-at-home times, there will be a multitude of opportunities for apologies. And there will be equal opportunities for extending forgiveness. Let’s choose to pray forgiveness over our families and remember it’s a central message of the gospel—one that will have a lasting impact if modeled well. Praying that quarantine is granting you many opportunities to speak truth to your children and allowing you the time to iron out some of the rough spots of parenting (like when apologizing and forgiving end up in the form of a question).   @pardonthemesspodcast Don’t forget to follow Pardon the Mess podcast on Facebook and Instagram for encouragement and fun all in one place! Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As we consider the death and resurrection of Jesus this weekend, we can’t help but be reminded of God’s great love for us—even to the point of death so that we might have eternal life. Easter will look different in so many ways this year, but we can be especially grateful that Jesus is on his throne and there’s absolutely nothing in the world that can change the significance of an empty tomb and risen Savior. As we continue to pray for the impact of COVID-19, I’m so thankful that we serve an approachable God who hears our needs and meets us right in the middle of the small and big things of life (like a pandemic). Sheila Walsh, bestselling author and Bible teacher, joins us today on Pardon the Mess with a much-needed reminder that God is always listening and waiting for us. Sheila offers practical tips for praying when we don’t know what to say. She shares honest stories that remind us that God is not looking for perfect words or perfect people, just open hearts. Sheila walks us through some of the common struggles in our prayer lives and gives great advice on what to pray when we have no words. The prayer of a righteous man (and woman) is effective. In these hard days, let’s cling to this promise and be found faithful in praying for those around us. Sheila Walsh will encourage you as you do just that.Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Anyone else feel like in the midst of all this family time you’re doing great one moment, and then a few minutes later, you’re completely off your parenting game? Me too. I think the hardest part for me comes when I allow myself to go down the road of “how long” and “how big of an impact” these times will have. Whatever you are working through these days, please know you’re not alone; we are right here with you. If we can pray for your family, please send us an email (prayer@pardonthemess.org) so our team can join you in prayer. Also, I will be hosting Instagram live sessions (scary, I know) at 9 p.m. central each week with surprise guests speaking to finding God in the midst of uncertainties. For many of us, the hours before we go to bed are when the doubt creeps in, so we’re going to speak truth into the darkness and hopefully have some fun while doing it! Please take a minute to follow @Pardonthemesspodcast on Instagram to know when we’re live and receive encouragement each day. If nothing else, you will see plenty of examples of my #parentingfails in this new age of togetherness. Finally, don’t miss today’s podcast as we pray salvation over our families with Jerica Olson. There’s no better opportunity to shine light than in times of darkness. Jerica provides encouragement on praying that our families know Jesus and share him with everyone around us. Don’t miss it.  Praying for you!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy