Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

As you know, this month on Pardon the Mess we’re doing a miniseries we’ve lovingly nicknamed “New Year, New You.” We’re tackling some of the messy areas in life that are often the basis of resolutions this time of year, like physical health, emotional health, and financial health. This week we’re thrilled to have Maria Bower, author of Faith Vs. Weight, join us to discuss physical health and weight loss. Maria approaches nutrition from the perspective of how to best fuel our body to accomplish God’s kingdom work in our lives. Discussing the “why” behind losing excess weight, Maria puts it this way: "Like all other distractions from the devil, it is a problem that is stealing your energy from serving God, making you miserable in the process. It is time to reclaim your energy for His glory and serve His kingdom with love. This epidemic no longer needs to stop you and your family from reaching your full potential in Christ." Maria has worked as a US Navy health care administrator and is a certified personal trainer. She’s funny, she’s direct, she’s passionate about our health, and she loves Jesus and approaches nutrition from a biblical perspective. Food and dieting can consume our thoughts and be a tactic the enemy uses to distract us from God’s best in our lives. Let’s take a few minutes to consider God’s Word in this area and the steps we might take in 2020 to regain our energy for serving God and our families. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re continuing our prayer emphasis in 2020 by praying this week for our kids to be excellent in all that they do. When you think about excellence and praying it for your kids, what comes to mind?   For me it’s the cheesy inspirational posters in middle school classrooms back in the day with sayings like: “Excellence is never an accident” or “Excellence is not being the best - but doing your best.”   Well let’s just say I did my best in math and nobody has ever accused me of excellence in that arena. But that’s neither here nor there.   It’s easy to get excellence confused with performance. Scripture is clear that we are called to excellence because it honors the one who created us, and he alone is the only true model of excellence. Performance is cumbersome and puts the focus on us, but praying the Lord’s excellence in our kids will rightfully take the pressure off of them and allow the Lord to shine in their lives.   Let’s pray that our children approach all their work with a goal of excellence, not in order that they might be looked upon favorably by others – but so that God will.   “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy New Year! It’s that time of year when we find ourselves in a post-Christmas, tight-pants, can’t-remember-when-we-last-ate-a-vegetable stupor. Yet there’s still a fleeting tinge of optimism bubbling up as we face a new year and new opportunities for change. Or is that just me? This month on Pardon the Mess, we’re doing a miniseries we’ve lovingly nicknamed “New Year, New You.” We’re tackling some of the areas of life that so often become areas of resolution this time of year. We will focus on physical health, emotional health, financial health, and more. As always, we will approach these subjects biblically and from the lens of how it best honors the Lord and impacts our parenting for his kingdom. As we kickoff this miniseries, today we have a conversation with Luke Lezon. (Anyone who writes a book titled Your Mess Matters is a shoo-in for our podcast.) Luke shares what the proverbial mess has looked like in his life and how the Lord has been so good to turn his mess into a ministry. Although he’s very candid in suggesting we stop praying for relief and start looking for God’s provision and faithfulness, he’s also very practical in suggesting how to best ground ourselves when we’re living in the middle of the mess (which, as parents, I might suggest is all of the time). What a great way to kickoff January, remembering that no matter the mess we may face in 2020, we have a God who is in the business of making our mess matter for his kingdom!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s that time of year when we start thinking about resolutions. Or at least we start thinking about the fact that we aren’t making resolutions this year. Either way, I think it’s natural to take a step back over the next few days to evaluate where we are in life and what we want to continue doing and/or the places we want to make some adjustments. It’s also the perfect time to start praying for our kids to know their purpose this year (and all the years to come). I’m so happy to have Craig Denison with us today to talk about the concept of knowing our purpose and why we pray that over our kids.  Craig and I drill down on what our true purpose is in the Lord and how we can pray that for our families. Take a minute to listen to our podcast, and then, as we approach January, pray that your children seek God’s greater purpose for their lives this year, not allowing the mundane things of life to trump the mission he has anointed for them. Happy New Year, and I look forward to walking the parenting road together in 2020!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Today we get to chat with Jess Connolly about her passion to help women confidently walk the paths the Lord has called them to, even when they feel the least qualified to get it done. She refers to herself as a “midwife for missions” because she loves to cheer on other women as they find what God has called them to. In her own life, she tells us why she’s so grateful that she was the “least likely” for the job because it allows the Lord to show off his strength and power. Wow! We talk about parenting and how emotional and complex it is raising kids. She gives us some wise words on encouraging our kids to find their place in kingdom work by creating a safe place for them to fail and also modeling, when we get knocked down, we get up again (Someone should write a song with those words). One of my favorite quotes from this episode is when Jess says, “It’s time for us to stop trying to be the best version of ourselves. It’s time for us to stop waiting for someone to come and tell us exactly how we can use what we’ve got to change the world. Who we are and where we are today—we’re uniquely equipped to love others, and that will change the world.” Amen and amen!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Joy to the world, the Lord is come! What a week to pray joy for our children. The simplicity of the words of one of the most famous Christmas carols says it all: Joy to the world, the Lord is come! We have joy in this life because of one thing: the Lord is (not has) come. The baby we celebrate this week left his heavenly home to be born in a manger so we might have eternal life. He brings forgiveness, redemption, and, yes, joy for all of us at Christmas and all our days. No matter what we face in our earthly lives, he has overcome all things, and we live in victory through Christ our Savior. The Lord is come—present tense! He’s come for our ups, our downs, our good, and our bad. He is our Lord in all things. Rebecca Carrell joins us today to talk about the importance of praying joy for our kids, especially when, as parents, it is so easy to be hyper-focused on their happiness. And she has a great reminder for us on how joy in our lives can actually become our strength. In Christian circles, there’s always a lot of discussion on having “joy” in our lives instead of “happiness.” If you haven’t listened to our interview with Max Lucado from last week on happiness, take a minute to do that! Max has a great point when he says that God wants both joy and happiness for us. This week, join me in praying that our kids have the kind of joy that comes not from the things we can give them but from a Savior who knows them and wants a personal relationship with them. And let’s pray that when they face the inevitable difficulties of life they may remain joyful, knowing that Jesus came to earth to heal, restore, and make all things whole. “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” Luke 2:10Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Well, there’s really not much to say other than this is a dream. If you’re anything like me, Max Lucado’s books have been instrumental in shaping your faith over the years. The fact that I had the chance to sit down and talk with him on our podcast? Well, there are almost no words. Max Lucado is the Teaching Minister of Oak Hills Church in San Antonio, Texas. He’s widely regarded as America’s best-selling inspirational author. Pastor Max shares a few thoughts about his new book on happiness and why it matters to God and others that we live happy lives. He encourages us to practice forgiveness and relays a story in his life that impacted his view of forgiving others. He brought up a parenting point I had never considered before: although there aren’t many “parenting” passages in the Bible, we learn all we need to know by considering how Jesus responded to parents who brought their children to him. Simply put, Jesus was always faithful and quick to respond to parents in need. What a great reminder for us to pray for our kids and to bring them to Jesus.   Pastor Max believes that encouragement is essential for happiness—and, believe you me, he was a huge encouragement today on our podcast. I can’t wait for you to hear from one of my heroes of our faith! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If we’ve learned anything the last few weeks, it’s that acts of generosity are all around us this time of year – but definitely not in the form of a Peleton bike gifted to your wife and a resulting a video diary of her fitness journey. That, my friends, is dangerous territory. I remember my Dad used to say you never give a gift with a plug to your wife for Christmas (meaning an appliance). Now I believe we can all agree that one might be wise to stay away from gifts with a plug AND a pedometer. That’s just a little Christmas advice for you as we all finish up our shopping this year. You’re welcome. This week, as we continue to pray for our children this school year, we’re praying for generosity in their lives. Kay Wyma joins us today with a great reminder that true generosity stems from acknowledging all the Lord has done for us. Chew on that for a minute: Generosity naturally spills over to those around us when we live with gratitude for what the Lord has done in our own lives. I can’t think of a better gift we can give our kids this week than praying they live lives marked with gratitude. Praying they show generosity in their friendships, being happy when others succeed, and compassionate when they do not. Let’s also pray generosity in their areas of influence by including peers who are overlooked, and always being willing to serve those around them when they see needs. Let’s pray our kids live all of their days rooted in generosity with gratitude for who Jesus is to us – beginning all those years ago when he came to earth as flesh, born in a lowly manger so everyone could be offered eternal life with him. I can’t think of an easier time of year to show generosity because of what Jesus has done in our own lives. Let’s share that with our kids. Take a minute to listen to our podcast today while you’re driving, shopping, or sitting by the Christmas tree. And think long and hard before you purchase your beloved a blender, vacuum, or a Peleton bike. Ha! Note: If you missed our podcast with Kay Wyma last Thursday, take a minute to listen today. She unpacks the song “Joy to the World” and gives us practical ways to hydrate our souls this holiday season. It’s just the word we all need as we make the final lap headed into Christmas.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

A show of hands for anyone who might need a few deep breaths as we’re headed into the final lap before the big day? Christmas often brings out our very best—generosity, focus on Jesus, time with friends and family. Christmas also may bring out our worst—exhaustion, materialism, sadness. You’re not alone if you’re feeling stressed, tired, overwhelmed, sad, excited, grateful, and everything in between. Kay Wyma, author, blogger, and mother of five shares practical ways to experience true Christmas joy. She encourages us to hydrate for the holidays by practicing kindness, relishing the regular, and stopping to simply look up (literally). Kay is my dear friend, and I am so grateful to have her join us again on Pardon the Mess. I was so refreshed by her words that a few times I forgot we were recording. She takes the Christmas carol “Joy to the World” and breaks it down beautifully, reminding us that you experience joy by trusting the One in whom you have faith. I didn’t just enjoy hearing from Kay today – I needed to hear it. I have a feeling you will feel the same way. She’s got a word for all of us as we run errands and make last minute preparations for Christmas. And don’t miss the very end where she gives us a few thoughts on entitlement and how to overcome it with our kids this time of year.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” Colossians 1:16 “All things were created through him and FOR him.” I’ve read this verse many times before, and it only hit me today that we are literally created for Jesus. We exist FOR Jesus. We are his creation and his joy, and it only makes sense that he truly wants connection with us and our children. He wants our affection, our companionship, our good, and our not-so-good. He created us to have community with him—that’s his great desire for our lives.   It’s easy to focus on the things that will bring us and our kids temporary happiness. But don’t forget to keep praying for the things that are lasting. Pray this week that our kids won’t find connection only in social media, friends, teams, or activities, but that they will have encounters with Jesus that change the trajectory of their lives and are only found in connection with their creator.  It probably goes without saying (which naturally means I’m going to say it anyway), but we need this same connection daily with the Lord. It is hard to find extra time in our days, much less time to be alone and be quiet. Join me in committing to spending time with the Lord each morning and asking him to quiet your soul so you can experience true connection with him.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy