Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

“It’s never too late to start today.” That’s the challenge Latasha Morrison leaves us with on today’s podcast as we talk about diversity and racial reconciliation. I can promise you that listening to this forty-minute podcast will be one of the best uses of your time today. It’s that good! Latasha Morrison is the founder of Be the Bridge, a nonprofit organization equipping folks just like us to serve as ambassadors of racial reconciliation. She speaks very practically and grace-filled about the need to listen, learn, lament, and leverage as we consider our part in this pervasive issue. We talk about the call to being unified in Christ and that if one part of the body of Christ is struggling, we all have a responsibility to do our part to implement change. There’s so much to consider in today’s podcast, but I especially love the practical ways she suggests we teach our kids the truths about diversity beginning at an early age, starting with the books we read, the movies we see, and the restaurants where we eat.  The Lord has given a word to Latasha that we all need to hear, and I’m so thrilled to have her join us. Let’s keep the discussions on intentionality going this month as we tackle the uncomfortable but critical topics facing our families. Interested in books Latasha recommends in today's episode? Check them out below: Divided by Faith The Color of Compromise White Awake Just MercyOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How are your New Year’s resolutions coming? It’s been a few months since we kicked off 2020 and, undoubtedly, many of us have decided those naïve resolutions of January were simply a pipe dream. The crowds at the gym have died down while the lines at the In-N-Out Burger have maxed out. I have the “My Fitness Pal” app on my phone. Every single morning, it pops up a notification around 10:00 a.m. asking if I’ve forgotten to log my breakfast.  You’re precious, little app, but I haven’t logged my breakfast (or lunch or dinner) in about six weeks. But I do want to thank you for being so ambitious on my behalf and always thinking the best of me by assuming it’s just an oversight. This week, we’re praying that our kids have the resolve to turn away from the temptations they face and a willingness to turn to Jesus when they need a way out. Our kids’ generation is inundated with social media, pornography, graphic music, widespread internet access, and so much more. Their resolve will need to be mighty to withstand the temptation they will face in their lives. Kay Wyma joins us today with a needed reminder that worth is at the center of the ability to show resolve.  Our kids need to be reminded that they have immense worth in Christ and that looking away, or saying no, or living differently comes from knowing you who you are to Jesus. In short, we’re praying, through Jesus, that our kids will have the strength and conviction to live set apart or holy in a world that is growing further and further away from Christ.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re kicking off a new series this March focused on intentionality. I can’t think of a better way to get started than with Jennie Allen encouraging us to be intentional in identifying the toxic thoughts in our lives.  Jennie says “the greatest spiritual battle of our generation is being fought between our ears.” And with an average of 30,000 thoughts a day going through our minds, it’s easy to see how quickly those negative thoughts can have a huge impact on our lives.   On today’s program, Jennie Allen, Kay Wyma, and I jump in the car for a carpool podcast of sorts.  We talk about:  identifying our negative thought patterns, acknowledging that we are in charge of our thoughts; they are not in charge of us, the science behind our thoughts, and remembering that God gives us the power to confront and overcome the toxic ones. It’s a fun interview you won’t want to miss. We even drove through McDonald’s for fries during our chat. We’re so fortunate to have Jennie Allen on Pardon the Mess. She’s a gifted communicator and the founder and visionary behind the IF:Gathering, an organization that equips women to know God more deeply and disciple others. She’s a speaker, author, podcaster, and much more. Listen to today’s podcast on your favorite podcast platform, or watch the video here!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As we pray inerrancy this week, you may be wondering what in the world that word even means.  And, for that matter, why does it matter for our kids? You’re not alone. I think we’ve all had that question. To believe the Bible is inerrant means we believe it is “inspired” and “God-breathed” (2 Timothy 3:16).  If that’s the case, then the Bible must be without error and completely trustworthy (2 Timothy 3:16) since God is without sin and cannot lie (Hebrews 6:18).  In other words, a perfect God cannot give us his word (the Bible) with errors or contradictions. So, is inerrancy just a theological point debated by scholars or is it relevant to our parenting? This concept is critically important for our kids because if they don’t believe in the absolute truth of Scripture, they will not use it as the anchor point for how they live their lives.  The heart of the gospel is that Jesus—God incarnate—was born to a virgin to pay our debt through death on a cross and resurrection. It’s a dangerously slippery slope if our kids begin to question the truth of the recorded events in the Bible, leading them to question the theology that goes behind these critical events.  Our culture does not believe in absolute truth, and understanding the Bible’s inerrancy is foundational if our kids are going to live in a way that’s wholly pleasing to God. Janet Denison joins us today to talk about inerrancy and reminds us that the Bible is not a book of suggestions but a guide on how to live our lives.  In a world that often redefines God’s word to meet the cultural relativism of the day, let’s pray that our kids believe every word in the Bible is divinely inspired and the ultimate authority for their lives.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

New York Times bestselling author Melanie Shankle joins us on Pardon the Mess as we continue our February series focused on the things we love. Melanie has a great word of encouragement for us on truly appreciating friendship. She talks about what the ups and downs of friendship have meant in her life and reminds us that we have to make new friends in order to eventually have old friends. We talk all about her new book, On the Bright Side, and the importance of finding joy in all that life has to offer (even when it doesn’t turn out like we expected). She talks honestly about raising her daughter, Caroline, and some of the tough spots of helping her navigate hard friendships. She reminds us to be careful with social media because it’s unfair to compare our inside with someone else’s outside. You’re not going to want to miss this conversation because Melanie brings a word of hope and encouragement in a culture so often marked by online arguments, crazy politics, and unfiltered opinions. More than anything, she brings a needed reminder that faith in Christ is all we could ever possibly need, so cling to it and then look for all the gifts around us like kindness, love, mercy, and joy. When life gives you lemons, always look “On the Bright Side.”Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We say this often, but parenting is one of the greatest blessings and one of the greatest challenges. There are really hard places in parenting that are much easier to avoid rather than address head-on.  Suicide is one of those topics.  It’s emotional, it’s scary, and it’s easy to feel inadequate when it comes to talking about it. That said, the CDC lists suicide as the second-leading cause of death in children and young adults between the ages of ten and twenty-four. We can’t afford to gloss over a topic so pervasive in our youth.  This statistic has become more than a number in recent days as we have seen family after family impacted by suicide in our community. Many of you have asked us to consider entering the conversation and to provide biblical guidance and resources. We heard you, and today we are doing just that by providing a special edition of content focused on suicide.  Our prayer is that these resources are helpful as you consider the topic of suicide. However, we are not a substitute for professional help. If you are struggling (or anyone around you is), please get the help you need and deserve.  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is (800)273-8255. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We say this often, but parenting is one of the greatest blessings and one of the greatest challenges. There are really hard places in parenting that are much easier to avoid rather than address head-on.  Suicide is one of those topics.  It’s emotional, it’s scary, and it’s easy to feel inadequate when it comes to talking about it. That said, the CDC lists suicide as the second-leading cause of death in children and young adults between the ages of ten and twenty-four. We can’t afford to gloss over a topic so pervasive in our youth.  This statistic has become more than a number in recent days as we have seen family after family impacted by suicide in our community. Many of you have asked us to consider entering the conversation and to provide biblical guidance and resources. We heard you, and today we are doing just that by providing a special edition of content focused on suicide.  Our prayer is that these resources are helpful as you consider the topic of suicide. However, we are not a substitute for professional help. If you are struggling (or anyone around you is), please get the help you need and deserve.  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is (800)273-8255.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week we’re praying for our kids to have courage. The further our culture strays from God’s truth, the more courage it will take for them to live biblically. I wrote an article last year about the importance of raising kids who can stand alone. I saw a picture on social media of a boy standing by himself while praying at his school’s “See You At The Pole” Day. I realized right then how important it was going to be to raise kids who can stand alone in their faith. Passionately following Jesus, especially in today’s culture, is not going to happen if we follow the masses and blend in with the crowd. We’re called to be holy, set apart, sanctified, chosen, and on a great mission for Jesus. So are our kids. Our kids will need a strong dose of courage to stand alone in the hard places. It takes courage to: stand up when everyone else is just standing by  include the excluded, allowing no one to be left behind on your watch walk away from the inappropriate images everyone is sharing say no when it’s more popular to say yes stay home because going might lead to compromise Let’s pray that our kids have the courage to stand alone when they need to and that God will do something big with it when they do.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re talking all things love this February, and it’s only fitting we talk about our love for our kids! Speaking of love, how was your Valentine’s day?  Some years, V-Day (that’s what the cool kids call it) entails fancy clothes and a night out for a steak. Other years, it’s more of the boneless wings and a Diet Coke variety.  Mine fell in the wings category this year, but I have no complaints. As I approach close to twenty years of marriage, I’ve found that I feel most loved in the small places that receive no huge fanfare. It’s my husband’s sweet smile when he knows I’ve kept my patience after answering my toddler’s hundredth question of the hour. Or when I come home from a work event to a clean kitchen and an empty dishwasher.  After you’ve been married for a while, it’s the small things that become the big things. Don’t let them go unnoticed. Back to loving our kids. Nell Bush joins us today to talk about being intentional in how we show love to our kids.  We talk about practicing patience and love by accepting their inborn temperament and understanding their particular stage of development.  She also reminds us of the importance of establishing a trusting environment through routines and rituals.  And don’t miss her practical suggestions on disciplining your kids. It will give you lots to think about.   Nell is a great parenting resource, and I can’t wait for you to hear her wise words.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s often said that character is how we act when nobody is looking.  As a parent of a toddler, I cling to the hope that character evolves with age.  For that matter, as a parent of teens, I’m counting on God’s promise that he will “finish what he started” and help me get them over the finish line (Philippians 1:6). Character is a big one on the list of things we can be praying for our kids.  It’s easy to mix up character and personality, and that’s why I’m so glad to have Janet Denison join us today to talk about the difference between the two and how it impacts discipline. As we focus on our kids’ character this week, let’s pray God’s character into their lives so they will be slow to anger (Nehemiah 9:17), rich in love (Psalm 145:8), merciful (Psalm 145:8), and compassionate (Romans 5:8). The Lord is constantly searching for those with godly character to be used for his great purposes. Let’s pray he finds it in our children. If you haven’t had a chance to check out our newest Pardon the Mess product, it’s time!  I’ve written thirty cards as a way to remind your kids of their identity in Christ. They are teen-inspired and a great way to put God’s truth in front of them in the kitchen, bathroom, or anywhere that will remind them that they are worthy because of who and whose they are. Grab your copy today!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy