Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

I wrote a blog a few years ago about a period of time when my daughter had a problem with apologizing. Actually, she didn’t have a problem with the act of apologizing, it was more of how she did it. It went like this: I would get on to her for something, and she would respond by saying: “I’m sorry?” Eventually, I figured out what was making my skin crawl—her alleged apologies were presented as a question. The words were right, her heart was not. Try it sometime during quarantine. When someone calls you out for being grouchy, respond with: “I’m sorry?” I bet they won’t love it. We focus a lot on apologizing when our kids are young. But do we focus on the opportunity for forgiveness presented by an apology? Proverbs 19:11 reminds us that it’s not just good to forgive, but it’s to “one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Rebecca Carrell joins me today to chat about forgiveness and praying it over our families. During these stay-at-home times, there will be a multitude of opportunities for apologies. And there will be equal opportunities for extending forgiveness. Let’s choose to pray forgiveness over our families and remember it’s a central message of the gospel—one that will have a lasting impact if modeled well. Praying that quarantine is granting you many opportunities to speak truth to your children and allowing you the time to iron out some of the rough spots of parenting (like when apologizing and forgiving end up in the form of a question).   @pardonthemesspodcast Don’t forget to follow Pardon the Mess podcast on Facebook and Instagram for encouragement and fun all in one place! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As we consider the death and resurrection of Jesus this weekend, we can’t help but be reminded of God’s great love for us—even to the point of death so that we might have eternal life. Easter will look different in so many ways this year, but we can be especially grateful that Jesus is on his throne and there’s absolutely nothing in the world that can change the significance of an empty tomb and risen Savior. As we continue to pray for the impact of COVID-19, I’m so thankful that we serve an approachable God who hears our needs and meets us right in the middle of the small and big things of life (like a pandemic). Sheila Walsh, bestselling author and Bible teacher, joins us today on Pardon the Mess with a much-needed reminder that God is always listening and waiting for us. Sheila offers practical tips for praying when we don’t know what to say. She shares honest stories that remind us that God is not looking for perfect words or perfect people, just open hearts. Sheila walks us through some of the common struggles in our prayer lives and gives great advice on what to pray when we have no words. The prayer of a righteous man (and woman) is effective. In these hard days, let’s cling to this promise and be found faithful in praying for those around us. Sheila Walsh will encourage you as you do just that.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Anyone else feel like in the midst of all this family time you’re doing great one moment, and then a few minutes later, you’re completely off your parenting game? Me too. I think the hardest part for me comes when I allow myself to go down the road of “how long” and “how big of an impact” these times will have. Whatever you are working through these days, please know you’re not alone; we are right here with you. If we can pray for your family, please send us an email (prayer@pardonthemess.org) so our team can join you in prayer. Also, I will be hosting Instagram live sessions (scary, I know) at 9 p.m. central each week with surprise guests speaking to finding God in the midst of uncertainties. For many of us, the hours before we go to bed are when the doubt creeps in, so we’re going to speak truth into the darkness and hopefully have some fun while doing it! Please take a minute to follow @Pardonthemesspodcast on Instagram to know when we’re live and receive encouragement each day. If nothing else, you will see plenty of examples of my #parentingfails in this new age of togetherness. Finally, don’t miss today’s podcast as we pray salvation over our families with Jerica Olson. There’s no better opportunity to shine light than in times of darkness. Jerica provides encouragement on praying that our families know Jesus and share him with everyone around us. Don’t miss it.  Praying for you!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Erin Weidemann joins Pardon the Mess as many of us find ourselves (unexpectedly and suddenly) in the throes of homeschooling. A professional educator and now a homeschooling mama, Erin offers extremely practical ways to maximize our homeschooling operations. You will love her “Top Six Tips for Setting up a Temporary Homeschool.” They are both grace-filled and doable for those of us who feel like fish out of water when it comes to homeschooling our kids. More than anything, I promise you will walk away feeling encouraged and capable.  During these times, Erin reminds us that our real goal is to form bonds with our kids and lead them to Jesus every day—the rest is icing on the cake.    Amen, sister!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Grammy-nominated singer and songwriter Jeremy Camp experienced both love and gut-wrenching loss in his twenties after falling in love with Melissa Henning and then losing her to cancer shortly after their honeymoon.  I Still Believe is the newly-released film portraying their story of God’s faithfulness in meeting the deepest of needs, even in the midst of unimaginable loss.  Today, Jeremy is married to his wife of seventeen years, Adrienne. They have three children and are passionate about keeping Jesus in the middle of their life and marriage and sharing God’s love around the world any way they can.  Jeremy and Adrienne talk to us about the movie I Still Believe, as well as their new marriage book, In Unison. We chat about finding God’s blessings even in a pandemic and practical ways to navigate conflict in our marriages. The Camps will encourage you with their deep faith and unrelenting message of the hope that is only found in Jesus.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I was reading through the book of Daniel this week, and I came across the part most of us learned about in first-grade Vacation Bible School: the part where King Nebuchadnezzar built a golden statue and told everyone they had to bow to it. When Daniel and his buddies refused to comply, the king promptly decided the next best step would be to turn up the temperature on the ol’ furnace and throw them in it. Daniel, committed to living the truths of his faith in God, said these profound words as he faced the possibility of going down in flames: “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:16–17). And God did deliver them, not allowing even one little scorch to their bodies. I was thinking about what a Daniel kind of faith looks like for us at present, as we’re experiencing the angst of this potentially life-threatening pandemic.  Are we sharing Daniel’s sentiment with those around us?  Are we sharing that our God is able to deliver us?  Even if he does not, we will not fall to the temptation of fear, faithlessness, and despair? In his commentary of this passage, Warren Wiersbe says, “The devil tempts us to destroy our faith, but God tests us to develop our faith, because a faith that can’t be tested can’t be trusted.” As we face these days of uncertainty, many will find their faith tested. But even in the midst of the testing, we have hope knowing that, in the refining process, we will come out with a faith that’s even more trusted. On today’s podcast, five-time cancer survivor and founder of Truth Becomes Her Erin Weidemann talks about the importance of praying for both the physical and spiritual health of our kids. Erin’s testimony reminds me a lot of David’s. After beating cancer five times, she has complete confidence that her God is able to heal her over and over again.  But even if he chooses not to in the future, she will choose to live each day at peace without worry or despair. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you feel like you’ve got more questions than answers these days? Me too! Which is why I’m thrilled that we have Sissy Goff and David Thomas on our podcast to walk us through ways we can support our kids emotionally during these tough days. Sissy and David are on staff at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee, and have extensive experience counseling kids. They speak all over the country encouraging parents to raise their kids with intentionality, focusing on the most common struggles parents face in today’s fast-paced society. One of the standout moments in our discussion was their advice that the best way we can help our kids work through their anxiety in these uncertain days is to manage our own. And then they give us some much-needed advice on how to practically do just that. We also discuss the differences between fear, worry, and anxiety, and they help us recognize when our kids may be struggling and need extra support. Spoiler alert: there’s a lot of talk about being hopeful and patient parents—and I may or may not have felt like that was semi-directed at me. Ha!   Although this interview was scheduled months ago, the Lord clearly knew we would need a word from David and Sissy at exactly this time.  So let me encourage you to take a few minutes today to hear from two people who love the Lord and our kids. Be encouraged as they practically walk us through ways to best parent our kids in these days of uncertainty. P.S. Want to hear and learn more from Sissy and David? Check out their podcast here and some of their book resources available now!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you found your family doing some unusual things as you’ve had extra time these last few weeks?  Us too. For example, my family was sitting around yesterday searching pandemic playlists and laughing at the songs that have a completely new meaning in these days of social isolation. Here are a few we came across: “Can’t Touch This” – MC Hammer “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” — Elvis Presley “All by Myself” – Eric Carmen “Right Here Waiting” – Richard Marx “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” – The Police “I Will Survive” – Gloria Gaynor Stay with me, I’m coming back to songs in a second. We’re praying peace for our families this week on Pardon the Mess.  I love that when I wrote this prayer guide for our families over a year ago, the Lord knew this week we would need an extra dose of peace. (It’s as if God already knew what we would need before it even happened. Ha!) I think a keyword for us in the coming days is truth.  We need to be focusing on the truth of God’s word over the chaos in the world. We need to spend more time in Scripture and less time in the news and on our social media feeds. We need to be consumed with God’s promises instead of the world’s words of hopelessness. What are we doing today to write a lasting song of God’s faithfulness?  What song will our family hear us sing as we walk difficult days?  Are we writing a song that could lead future generations to worship our Savior?  One day, we will have the opportunity to look back on this pandemic and consider how we fared in a time when many found it difficult to understand God’s plan and questioned his goodness.  For now, ask Jesus to write a song of peace and faithfulness in your life these next days and weeks. Pray for a song that will speak truth and peace to our culture that needs Jesus, leaving a legacy of faith from your life. What’s your song today?Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Israelites were trapped with seemingly no way out. The Egyptian army was fast approaching from behind. In front, they faced the unpassable waters of the Red Sea.  In frustration, they cried out to God, asking why he would allow this desperate situation and questioning if he really cared about them.  And then Moses answered with twelve words of truth: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14). These twelve words are as relevant for us in the middle of a pandemic as they were centuries ago to a flailing nation with its back against the wall.   Singer, songwriter, and author Ellie Holcomb joins me today to talk about suffering and what this passage has meant to her in the seasons of struggle. We talk about knowing God better in the middle of hard times and how God’s word is our defense when we feel trapped and helpless.  My favorite part of our talk with Ellie is her reminder that suffering never has the final word in our life because Jesus is coming back. He alone has and is the final word.  Ellie is a sweet, sweet spirit who will encourage you as she shares vulnerably about balancing faith, family, and the work God has called her to accomplish. She also has a great word for parenting with intentionality, even when our days can seem very mundane and ordinary. And, let’s be honest, there are lots of mundane moments these days as we spend hours upon hours with our kids in a time of social distancing.  My prayer is that you will be encouraged today, in the midst of struggling, knowing that God is for us. We need only to be still.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“You don’t have to worry about whether your world is under control. God rules. You just have to learn to trust him when his rule isn’t evident.” —Paul David Tripp This week, as we’re praying our kids through the school year, we’re focused on praying about service for our families (especially in days like we’re facing now). Paul Tripp’s devotional, New Morning Mercies, is relevant to what we’re facing today as it speaks to living in a world that seems out of control: Honestly facing your lack of sovereignty over your own life produces either anxiety or relief. Anxiety is God-forgetting. It is the result of thinking that life is on your shoulders, that it is your job to figure it all out and keep things in order. But there is a much better way. It is God-remembering. It rests in the relief that although it may not look like it, your life is under the careful control of the One who defines wisdom, power, and love. In all of the moments when life is out of your control, it is not out of his control. As we walk through days of uncertainty with the coronavirus and the fear surrounding it, let’s focus on serving others by sharing the message of Jesus’ sovereignty. Let’s teach our children that, even in the hardest of days, we are called to love our neighbor and serve them in our words, actions, and finances, and by praying for them. Serving others is an opportunity that is most present when people are suffering. We are here for a time such as this, and the Lord can use us mightily when we are willing to trust his heart and follow his plans. On today’s podcast, we talk about serving in the midst of a pandemic and how to best speak truth into our kids in a way that marks them for years to come. This is the closest thing to 9/11 that our kids have faced, so the opportunity is great. If you haven’t had a chance to read my blog on “Parenting During a Pandemic,” check it out here. These are times of uncertainty for all of us—but not for our Father. I’m grateful to be on this journey with you as we trust God in our lack of control, knowing “it is not out of his control.”Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy