Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Allie Beth Stuckey joins us on Pardon the Mess today to discuss our culture’s tendency to lean into meology—a me-centered theology. Instead of teaching the truths of scripture and discerning what the Bible says about God, we often turn our focus on what scripture says about us and look to find our value apart from God.  Allie and I discuss the five popular myths our culture embraces: Myth #1: You are enough.  Myth #2: You determine your truth. Myth #3: You’re perfect the way you are. Myth #4: You’re entitled to your dreams. Myth #5: You can’t love others until you love yourself.  Each of these popular myths are dispelled in Allie Beth’s new book: You’re not enough (and that’s okay).  Today’s podcast reminds us to be discerning of our culture’s messaging and always weigh it against God’s Word. It’s easy to hear biblical near-truths and mistake them for complete truths. The great news is: when we turn our focus back to the Lord, and recognize our inadequacies, we live in freedom. We are reminded that we don’t need to constantly strive to be enough because we belong to the One who is enough.  Allie Beth is an author, the host of Relatable (a popular podcast), and a frequent political commentator on national media outlets. When she’s not at home with her husband and one-year-old daughter, she speaks across the country about the importance of biblical values. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What a privilege to have Matt Hammitt with us on Pardon the Mess today. You’re going to love our vulnerable conversation about his career, work-life balance, marriage struggles, and the challenges of walking away from old dreams when called by God to new ones.    From 1996-2016, Matt was the lead singer and songwriter for the band Sanctus Real, touring the country extensively for the majority of the year. As he and his wife, Amy, began to have kids, Amy struggled with Matt’s touring schedule and the demands of raising their young family alone.    The hit song “Lead Me” was born from the stress and struggle of balancing his marriage and family with his role in Sanctus Real. The lyrics of the song describe Amy’s need for Matt to lead their family well and to be more present. Although most of us are not lead singers of a band (or married to one), we can all relate to the push and pull between careers, dreams, and the huge responsibility of shepherding our families well.    Matt has received three Dove Awards, has been nominated for two Grammy Awards, and recently released his book, Lead Me: Finding Courage to Fight for Your Marriage, Children, and Faith.    This podcast is for all of us who have too many balls in the air and need a grace-filled reminder that God’s best for us sometimes requires a hard look at what we’re chasing. And it encourages us to really look at how our dreams impact the ones we love the very most.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“If you could give all couples a single piece of advice for pursuing a Godly marriage, what would it be?” Bob Lepine is an author, radio show host, and pastor. He joins us today on Pardon the Mess to answer this question and so much more. Pastor Lepine encourages us to build our marriages on strong foundations so they can withstand the storms that inevitably come with time (and kids). Most of us probably had 1 Corinthians 13 read as a part of our wedding ceremony, but have we gone back to see how we’re following through? Are we patient with our spouse? Are we showing kindness in our daily interactions? Are we willing to live sacrificially in order to honor our spouse? Let’s be honest, the last few months have been full of upsets to our normal routine. Our marriages are probably feeling some of the strain. Bob Lepine has a great word for us on living with the daily intentionality required to to strengthen our marriages. Join me in taking a few minutes to consider how we can love our spouse well, while honoring the Lord in the process.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Today is our last mini-mess episode for July. We’ve been studying places in the Bible where God changed a person’s name (Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter) and the massive impact it had on his life. This series has been a great reminder of how God comes to his people when they need him most, transforming their lives from the inside out.  The common thread in each of these transformative name changes resides in a deep encounter with God. I don’t know about you, but our mini-mess studies have really made me consider what I’m doing (or not doing) each day to foster transformational encounters with God of my own.  Although we tend to overcomplicate it, there’s really no way to overemphasize the importance of prayer. And as parents, what a great privilege and responsibility we have in praying for our kids!  While we are on the subject, I’m excited to tell you about my new prayer journal, available this week! Marked by Prayer corresponds with the 2020-2021 school year and serves as a weekly devotional guide to pray an attribute of faith over our kids each week.  (insert picture or two of prayer journal) Of all the daily things we do for our children, I can’t think of anything more important than praying for them. I hope you’ll take a minute and grab your copy of Marked by Prayer. I’m so glad you’ve joined me in this mini-mess series. Check out the podcast this morning and please share it with a friend who might need encouragement during these days!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Feeling anxious?    You’re not alone. Studies indicate that over a third of Americans report feelings of anxiety and depression as COVID-19 numbers continue to spike. There’s no playbook for how to navigate life in a pandemic. It can leave us (and our kids) feeling discouraged as we ponder the future.    But even without the stress of a pandemic, our kids face varying degrees of fear and anxiety throughout their lives, critical topics for all parents to consider.    Ken Wilgus is a licensed psychologist who specializes in the treatment of adolescents and their families. He’s joining us today to talk about parenting our kids through fear and anxiety. May I just say, you’re not going to want to miss a second of this!    Here are some of the areas we cover:    The difference between fear, anxiety, and panic Identifying when our kids are struggling with anxiety The physical components of panic Unhelpful things parents do  The genetic components of anxiety and recognizing it in our own lives Healthy coping mechanisms when our kids are fearful or anxious Practical tips to prevent fear and anxiety before they occur   A friend sent me the link to Dr. Wilgus’ discussion on this topic, published on his podcast, Feeding the Mouth That Bites You. I knew it was just the word we need as we begin to think about back-to-school and all it entails.    I can’t wait for you to hear Dr. Wilgus today. And I have a feeling that you may even want the teens in your life to listen as well. (I know I did!)Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s week three of our “mini-mess” episode series! We’ve been studying places in the Bible where God changed a person’s name and how the new name brought new beginnings and clarity to that person’s calling.  We’re digging into Matthew 16 this week, where Jesus changed Simon’s name to Peter. This name change reminds us that when we fully grasp who Jesus is, we become “a rock” or “cornerstone” in the larger narrative of the gospel. We begin to see new significance and meaning in our days.  Next week, we will begin to wrap up this study. There will be a lot of amazing applications you won’t want to miss! But for now, I hope you will remember: when we spend time with our Savior he transforms our lives in remarkable ways. Take time this week to dig into God’s word and consider the question of who Jesus really is in your life.  Grab your Bible. Tune into the podcast this morning. And please share it with a friend who might need encouragement during these days!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t need a good laugh as we plow through another month of the weird new normal called 2020. You’re going to want to carry me off on your shoulders after our Pardon the Mess conversation with Sophie Hudson. And you will equally enjoy her book, Stand all the Way Up.    Sophie has an honest and hilarious point of view on how to face the hard places in life that keep us up at night and make us want to “burn it all down.” During a hard time in her own life, she shares how she learned that the Lord has already provided all we need to “get up, straighten up, and stand all the way up” for our faith and the underdog. She reminds us that for every God-given task we are handed, he will equip us.    Sophie is hilarious, vulnerable, and has a good word for us in a time when it would be easier to pull the covers over our head and wait for a vaccine. Be encouraged that in our hardest days the Lord can have the biggest impact, if we will just allow him to use our weakness for his great glory.    Oh, and don’t miss Sophie’s words on turning fifty and her best advice to her younger self. It’s good stuff!   Check out Sophie and Melanie Shankle’s Big Boo Podcast!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Today we kick-off week number two of our “mini-mess” episodes, designed to offer quick biblical truths with lasting value. We’re studying places in the Bible where God changed a person’s name and how the new name brought new beginnings and clarity to that person’s calling.  This week, we’re looking at Jacob’s life and how an all night wrestling match changed his name from “deceiver” to Israel (because he wrestled with God and man). This wrestling passage might be one of the stranger events we read about in the Bible, but it serves as a great reminder of how much God treasures his creation. It recalls how he will go to any length to have a deep and meaningful relationship with us.  Grab your Bible. Tune into the podcast this morning. And please share it with a friend who might need encouragement during these days!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I think we can agree that one of the hardest parts of our COVID-19 existence is the lack of connection with friends and family. In our present circumstances, it has become very evident just how much we need connection, and it starts at the earliest of ages with our kids.   I’m thrilled to have Amy and Jeffrey Olrick on our podcast today, discussing this very topic. They speak to the six needs every child possesses in relation to connection. Amy and Jeffrey’s integration of neuroscience and practical parenting is a great reminder that God created us to be relational, and our kids need us to be present, not perfect.   We chat about topics such as:   Delighting in our kids because of who they are and not because of what they’ve done. The importance of setting boundaries and considering our motives behind them. Giving ourselves grace on the bad days and knowing that parenting is a life-long pursuit.   You’re going to love how Amy and Jeffrey practically break our kids’ needs down into six essential areas. Join us and be encouraged.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What’s your name again? One time I was podcasting someone fairly well-known, and within the first five minutes of our discussion, I called him by the wrong name (multiple times). Apparently, he wasn’t as well-known to me as I thought. Thankfully, his wife happened to be on the podcast too and she very graciously let me know that I had his name wrong. #Died There’s a lot that goes into our names, especially if we go back and consider the significance of names in biblical times. We know that God has many different names, revealing different aspects of his character. And we also know that there are instances in the Bible where God changed someone’s name to give that person a new perspective and, oftentimes, a new beginning.   This month, I’m trying something a little bit different. On Mondays, I will be releasing short “Mini-Mess” podcasts, giving quick biblical truths with lasting values. As you may have guessed, we will be studying name changes in the Bible and their significance on how we live our lives each and every day this side of eternity.  As we continue to parent our kids in this new world with new rules, be reminded that God still rules. His word is an ever-present encouragement in the hard places we’re facing. Grab your Bible. Let’s spend a few minutes together in God’s word.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy