Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Today’s podcast is a must-listen to if for no other reason than hearing Matthew West describe 2020 in song.  Yes, he sings in real-time for us, and it’s funny and total greatness.   Most of us have loved Matthew West’s music for many years, but he takes it to a whole new level when talking about his family, raising kids while touring, and his battle with feeling like he has to constantly do more and be more. He’s vulnerable about growing up as a preacher’s kid and going through the motions more than having a deep relationship with the Lord. He also gives us great encouragement on living our lives with no conflicting reports, especially as we’re raising kids who are watching how we live.   Matthew West is a breath of fresh air in a year that needs some transparency and reminders of what really matters. His challenge to us is a worthy one in these days: don’t leave 2020 unchanged.   You’re going to love Matthew West on Pardon the Mess today! Check out Matthew West’s new album, podcast, and much more!Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“A holy life will produce the deepest impression. Lighthouses blow no horns, they only shine.” —D. L. Moody That’ll preach, right?  This week, we’re praying that our kids are marked by light.  In a year full of profound uncertainty and anxiety, our culture desperately needs to hear the gospel message that Jesus loved us to the point of death so that we might live forever.  That’s the message of truth and the light we were created to shine.  On Pardon the Mess this week, we will consider how what we do in private allows us to shine light in public.  And, as we continue looking at Nehemiah’s life, we will see that mourning what God mourns is a great starting place for sharing the gospel.  “Lighthouses blow no horns, they only shine.”  I’m praying that same thing for our families.Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What are some things you wish you would have learned earlier in your Christian walk?  I can think of so many, but I find myself wanting my kids to figure out early on that knowing about God isn’t the same as knowing God. A key ingredient to this is how we communicate with God in prayer.  We’re talking about this and lots more with Sheila Walsh on Pardon the Mess today.  She reminds us that vulnerability is a key component in teaching our kids how to work through the hard stuff they face. Suffering and pain will always exist, but in the middle of it we have the opportunity to point our kids back to God.  Be sure to check out Sheila’s new devotional, Praying Girls Devotional: 60 Days to Shape your Heart and Grow your Faith Through Prayer.  I know you’re going to love this conversation with Sheila Walsh as much as I did!Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Alert: Only 46 days until Christmas!  I know, how is it even possible that Christmas is coming so fast? Yet at the same time, doesn’t it feel like last Christmas was seven years ago?  As we’re headed into the home stretch of 2020, we have some important opportunities to pray generosity over our kids. This year, more than ever, it seems like an important time to teach generosity in our homes as the needs around us seem so significant.  As we continue studying Nehemiah’s life, we will consider how his fear of the Lord and compassion for others drove a lifestyle of generosity. I can’t think of a better formula for praying generosity over our kids: fear of the Lord + compassion = generosity.  On a much less significant note, on today’s podcast I also share an “overly generous” moment I had years ago, resulting in a bounced check to the church. Bless it.  As we consider how to best live out the next forty-six days leading up to Christmas, let’s flip the script on our kids’ tendency to want more and instead pray they have hearts of generosity toward those around them.Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s November, and that means it’s National Adoption Month.  If you know anything about me, you know that foster care and adoption completely changed the trajectory of my family’s life. As this month marks the three-year “gotcha day” for our sweet little guy, I’m still overwhelmed by God’s goodness in allowing our family to participate in the amazing gift of adoption.  In keeping with the November adoption theme, I’m thrilled to have Sam Collier with us today on Pardon the Mess. Sam shares his own adoption story and how, even in the midst of opposition, God was writing a story Sam never could have written in his own strength.  I can’t stop thinking about the stories he shares about his adoptive family, meeting his biological parents on The Steve Harvey Show, and what it looked like for him to forego his own music dreams for a ministry calling.  In all those places where you need a reminder that God’s in the business of giving us life to its fullest, we’ve got the podcast for you. Don’t miss Sam Collier’s encouragement to trust our own stories to the God who rescripts all things in favor of his greater story. Connect with Sam Collier here. Get Sam's book, A Greater Story.Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I was on a radio interview recently where the host asked me how to teach our kids about God without cramming the Bible down their throat. I guess I understood his general sentiment, but my initial thought was “can we ever give our kids too much of God’s word?” Today we’re praying for our kids to be marked by God’s word because we know that God’s word is the only true wisdom in life. If God’s word is active and alive (Hebrews 4:12), God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16), and our only refuge (Psalm 18:30), I’m not sure it’s possible to overplay its value.  This month we’ll be talking (and praying) from the context of the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah had a deep love of God’s word which guided him in doing God-sized things while leading others to repentance and action.  Listen to today’s podcast and join me in praying for our kids to be marked by God’s word in their lives. Pray that they will know their infinite value and his great love for them even in the midst of today’s uncertainties and hard places.  There are a million things we do for our families each day, let’s be sure praying for them is at the top of the list.Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you’re anything like me, there are very few things we feel less inclined to speak into than politics.  Even so, it’s important to guide our kids well in these politically divisive days. I recently gave a few considerations in an article I wrote on how to discuss politics with our kids: Would the world recognize you as a Christian if all they knew was how you engaged in politics? Would your kids know Jesus better if all they heard was your political speak? The truth is our political opinions are unlikely to change minds, but quite likely to change our witness. With all of that in mind, I am happy to introduce a two-part Pardon the Mess series to help us navigate this political culture.  Don’t worry: under no circumstances will we be talking about specific candidates or parties but rather principles that will help guide our kids.  In part 1, we have Jim Denison, co-founder of Denison Ministries, sharing ways we can disagree well and teach our kids to respect authority, even when we don’t agree with all of our leader’s actions. He reminds us that “winning arguments is not as important as winning souls.”  In part 2, Texas State Representative Jeff Leach and his wife, Becky, give us an insider look at our political system and suggest ways we might support our public servants through prayer.  I hope these podcasts equip you well in the coming weeks as we face the election and the days following. Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you’re anything like me, there are very few things we feel less inclined to speak into than politics.  Even so, it’s important to guide our kids well in these politically divisive days. I recently gave a few considerations in an article I wrote on how to discuss politics with our kids: Would the world recognize you as a Christian if all they knew was how you engaged in politics? Would your kids know Jesus better if all they heard was your political speak? The truth is our political opinions are unlikely to change minds, but quite likely to change our witness. With all of that in mind, I am happy to introduce a two-part Pardon the Mess series to help us navigate this political culture.  Don’t worry: under no circumstances will we be talking about specific candidates or parties but rather principles that will help guide our kids.  In part 1, we have Jim Denison, co-founder of Denison Ministries, sharing ways we can disagree well and teach our kids to respect authority, even when we don’t agree with all of our leader’s actions. He reminds us that “winning arguments is not as important as winning souls.”  In part 2, Texas State Representative Jeff Leach and his wife, Becky, give us an insider look at our political system and suggest ways we might support our public servants through prayer.  I hope these podcasts equip you well in the coming weeks as we face the election and the days following. Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What distracts your heart from being fully focused on God? It’s not a rhetorical question but one we should all consider from time to time.  Maybe it’s social media, consumerism, people-pleasing, the need for accomplishment, or even just the busyness of daily life. At any particular moment, I can honestly say there’s endless things with a hold on my heart.  The distracting factors are different for each of us. But the call of the Lord is the same: to live with an undivided heart that is fully committed to him (2 Chronicles 16:9). It is only with an undivided heart that we are able to be fully present and available to the plans he has uniquely created for us. When we give him our full attention, we are free from the distractions of this world.  This week, let’s pray for our kids to live with undivided hearts. Let’s pray for our children’s daily obedience, followed by a complete commitment to the Lord’s will and plan for their lives. Let’s pray they develop a trust so deep in their Savior that they rely on his faithfulness instead of trying to orchestrate and control the details of their days.  Join us on today’s podcast as we talk about King David and his journey to live with an undivided heart. Let’s pray that our kids’ commitment to Jesus isn’t overshadowed by the temptations to live in comfort, convenience, acknowledgment, and entitlement.Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Only two industries call their customers users: illegal drugs and software.” —The Social Dilemma   Well now, that’s a quote that will stop you right in your social media-ridden tracks.    If you haven’t had a chance to watch Netflix’s new documentary, The Social Dilemma, let’s suffice it to say that the veil has been lifted on the ins and outs of social media algorithms and the impact it’s having on our lives. For me personally, it was eye-opening to see how manipulating and addiction-based social media has become, all in the name of buying our attention.    Sadly, it’s working!   Licensed psychologist, Dr. Ken Wilgus, is with us today on Pardon the Mess discussing this very topic. With a specialty in adolescents and families, he breaks down The Social Dilemma as it relates to our kids and provides practical advice on important next steps.   Some of the areas we cover include:   The most important take-aways from The Social Dilemma. Conversations we need to have with our kids relating to social media. The impact of technology during puberty, especially in our girls. Age-specific boundaries to set around social media with our kids (and ourselves).   This is an important conversation you don’t want to miss. There’s no need to be fearful, just informed and prepared.    Let’s do it together!Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy