Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

It’s hard to believe we’re wrapping up the first month of praying for our kids in this new school year! This week, we’re praying for our kids to be marked by faith in God. Specifically, we’re asking the Lord to give them deep faith that endures in the good times, hard times, and every time in between.   We’ve been studying the life of Joseph. We’ve seen how Joseph’s faith kept him steady as he faced the difficulties of family divisiveness, being sold into slavery, false imprisonment, and even a famine. He didn’t know what the future held, but he trusted the God who did. That’s exactly what we want for our kids.    In 2 Corinthians 4:18 we are given an idea of what it takes to live by faith: “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”   Fixing our eyes on the unseen is foundational to trusting God. We’re walking in days when the “seen” things are scary and unknown. But the unseen things, they remind us that God is on his throne and he goes before us and behind us promising to work all things for our good and his glory (Romans 8:28).    Join me this week as we pray for our kids to be marked by an enduring faith.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

On August 25, 2018, Kayla Stoecklein lost her husband to suicide. Andrew was a pastor of Inland Hills Church in Chino, California. In the wake of the tragedy, Kayla embarked upon a brave journey to better understand her husband’s battle with mental illness. She ultimately sought to overcome the stigma of suicide.  Shortly after losing Andrew, Kayla wrote a letter that went viral. She apologized for not truly understanding his pain and promised to honor his name. I remember reading her letter, posted alongside the picture of their three beautiful children, and being shaken by the grief she was experiencing. I couldn’t help but wonder how God could possibly redeem such hardship in their lives. Two years later, I’m blessed with the opportunity to speak with Kayla and hear how God is faithfully using her story to help people navigate the difficult waters of mental health.  September is National Suicide Prevention month. The statistics are a stark reminder that each of us will likely be impacted by suicide in some manner. On this episode of Pardon the Mess, Kayla bravely shares her difficult story. She gives us proactive steps for our own mental health and emphasizes the importance of letting others into our pain.  Kayla is determined to ensure Andrew’s life is defined by how he lived, not how he died. I want to end with these beautiful words from Andrew’s last sermon, shared in Kayla’s book: “We are all a mess, none of us have it figured out, all of us are broken, and all of us fall short. It’s the mess that brings us together and draws God near. If we weren’t all a mess, we wouldn’t need God.” See more from Kayla: Fear Gone Wild  https://www.godsgotthis.com/ National Suicide Prevention LifelineOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week we’re praying that our kids are marked by God’s favor. I used to think God’s favor meant I would have success in ministry, my kids would stay on track, my dog would bark less, and my husband’s work would flourish. But with a little gray hair (which will forever remain highlighted), I’ve learned God’s favor looks a lot different than earthly favor.  His favor is discovered in knowing that our name is written in the book of life. It is found in believing that there is nothing that can separate us from his love.  As we pray God’s favor over our kids this week, my hope is that we would understand favor in the context of Joseph’s life. We’re told that God gave Joseph success in all that he did (Genesis 39:3). Wait, success in all he did? He was sold into slavery, falsely imprisoned, estranged from his family, and more. If that’s success, we might want to consider being unsuccessful. (Just kidding) But we know Joseph had God’s favor because the Lord was doing things in his life that surpassed his biggest dreams. Joseph’s faith allowed him to trust God’s favor even through some seemingly unfavorable circumstances.  We want that for our kids too!  God longs for his children to be obedient, walk in step with him, and surrender to his purposes. Join me in praying that our kids live in ways God can bless, allowing his great favor to encompass all they do. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Is it really possible that we have been given the opportunity to have Mark Batterson on the podcast twice this year? Yes, it is! And it’s exactly what’s going down on Pardon the Mess today. Look at you 2020, actually giving us something good for a change. 😂 Mark is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, DC and a New York Times best-selling author of over eighteen books. When it comes to discerning the voice of God in our lives, Mark has a great word for us today.  As you’ve probably heard me mention ad nauseam, Mark’s book, In the Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, has arguably impacted my faith more than any book I’ve read in the last decade (other than the Bible). So of course, I didn’t miss the chance to talk about it on today’s podcast. Mark and I discuss how to navigate obstacles we face with confidence, knowing how God’s story ends and his great plans for our lives.  Mark and his daughter recently released a children’s book: God Speaks in Whispers. In their book, they share with us ways to teach our kids to listen for God’s voice and why we should pray for “long obedience” all of their days. Lots of good stuff coming your way today! Dive in with me, and let’s be encouraged with the great reminder that God Speaks in Whispers. Get your own copy of God Speaks in Whispers! Mark is joining me for the Perfectly Imperfect digital event, learn more and register today!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

My middle-school son is a man-child.    Or at least that’s what one of my friends called him after seeing him for the first time post-quarantine. I don’t know what happens to these boys between seventh and ninth grade, but they go from little lego building cuties to deep-voiced giants, basically overnight.    It’s amazing (and shocking) to see them grow so fast. It’s also a great reminder to pray for their physical bodies and development. This week, we’re praying for our man-children (really, all of our kids) to be marked by stature.    In praying over their stature, we’re praying for our kids to physically take care of their bodies. This includes everything from eating well to making the right decisions when faced with alcohol and drugs. We’re also praying for their physical relationships—that they honor the Lord as they approach the age of dating and in all relationships with their peers.    Aside from praying for the physical aspect of their stature, we’re also praying for their stature as it relates to reputation. How they conduct themselves has the power to lead people to Christ or, if not done well, ruin their witness. Knowing that we’re called to live a life worthy of the gospel, let’s pray that our kids are marked by a reputation consistent with their faith in God. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Darin Kinder is a special agent with the United States Secret Service. He has spent his career traveling the world protecting presidents and leaders. On September 11, 2001, he was in the heart of New York City when the World Trade Centers were attacked. His heroic actions earned him the Secret Service Medal of Valor.  As we approach the nineteenth anniversary of this somber day, Darin joins us on Pardon the Mess to share his reflections from September 11, 2001. He also shares where the Lord is continuing work in his life.  Darin and his wife, Heather, are in the midst of raising four boys and are passionate about teaching them to live each day to its fullest for Christ. Darin challenges us to raise kids with a fierce faith—one that matches the intensity of our culture. He offers four ways to raise our children with a fierce faith and adds a few great sports analogies along the way.  I’m frequently asked if I have a “favorite” podcast interview. And I honestly can’t point to just one. However, if I had to name one, I would choose my first podcast with Darin Kinder on Pardon the Mess. When I interviewed him last year, his words impacted how I live my daily life.  Listen to Darin’s great word for us today on raising kids with a fierce faith. And then go back and listen to our first interview with Darin. His message pertains to living our lives with “dirty suits.” I promise it will make you rethink how you're spending your days and inspire you to dig into the hard places to which the Lord has called you.  I’m thrilled to have Darin Kinder back with us today on Pardon the Mess. I know you will be too!  The Valiant Ministries: http://www.thevaliantministries.com/ Tim Keller’s message: http://keepingthemainthing.blogspot.com/2016/09/tim-kellers-sermon-after-911.html Listen to last years episode with Darin Kinder!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’m thrilled to announce that today is the official kick-off of Marked by Prayer: A Parents’ Prayer Journal for the 2020–2021 School Year. On today’s podcast, we will begin praying our kids through this school year alongside my prayer journal.   Each Monday morning, I will release a short podcast that corresponds with the journal. The podcast will guide us in praying an attribute of faith over our kids. Simply subscribe to Pardon the Mess and you will receive a notification each time we release a new episode.   The idea of being “marked” surfaced from a realization that life leaves its mark on our kids as they face the inevitable bumps and bruises of being raised in a fallen world.   As parents, we’re constantly navigating the uncharted territory of raising kids in a culture inundated with technology, gender-identity issues, school shootings, social media, a pandemic, and more—all potentially marking our kids. But there’s really good news: God wants to mark them with a faith that transforms their lives from the inside out.    It seems fitting that we begin this school year by praying that our kids grow in the same areas that Jesus experienced: wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man (Luke 2:52). This week we will focus on praying for God’s wisdom over our children.   The world so often values the wisdom found in history, art, literature, and music. As believers, we’re reminded that true wisdom comes only from God (Matthew 6:33). And while the world has many “wisdom counterfeits,” I want to encourage you to pray that our kids seek the only true source of wisdom: Jesus.    So glad you’re with me as we come before the Lord, praying for our kids each week. Don’t miss our podcast today and ever Monday morning, as we commit to doing the most important thing we can for our kids—Pray!   Grateful to be walking this road with you!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Each time I'm given the incredible blessing of talking to Christine Caine, drinking from a firehose comes to mind. She brings wisdom and encouragement like no one else. And she does it with flair in her trademark high-impact, warp speed style.    Today’s conversation is no exception. Here are a few of the nuggets with which you will walk away after listening to Christine on Pardon the Mess:    How making our “what ifs” into “even ifs” brings calm in the storms of life. The importance of making what you know about God bigger than what you don’t know about the future. The peace we gain from viewing our current crisis through an eternal lens.   Christine Caine is an Australian-born, Greek-blooded, lover of Jesus. She is an activist, author, and international speaker. And she is the founder of a global anti-human trafficking organization, The A21 Campaign, alongside her husband, Nick. She’s one of the great female evangelists of our day.   I’m thrilled to have Christine on our show. Get ready for a good dose of truth, encouragement, and a few good laughs. Don’t miss this one!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I sit here writing to all of you after sending my daughter off for her “first last day of school.” I truly have no idea where the days have gone. Literally—yesterday I brought this wrinkled baby home from the hospital, in a onesie that swallowed her little body. I laid her in the bassinet wondering how I was old enough to have a newborn. Seventeen years later, I’m speechless at the thought of her going to college. And I’m left pondering what we will need to go over before she heads out of our door. She knows how to do laundry ✔, she’s responsible with money ✔, and she is a good friend to those around her  ✔.  But more than anything else, I want her to really know the Lord. I need her to understand that of all the things we stand for in this house, our belief that Jesus is Lord trumps everything else. Christ is for us and with us for all of eternity.  So whether you’re holding your newborn today or (like me) looking straight into the final chapters before launching a kid to college, today’s podcast is for you! Kara Powell challenges us to consider ways we can give our kids a “sticky faith” that stays with them through college and adulthood. She covers critical conversations we need to have with our kids. She offers advice on navigating tricky faith subjects we cannot afford to avoid. And she provides some interesting thoughts on involvement in church, and how to make it most impactful.  Research shows that of the kids who graduate from a church or youth group, 40 to 50 percent will fail to stick with their faith in college. I’m not satisfied with that statistic. I know you aren’t either. Listen to my conversation with Kara Powell today, and join me in implementing the small things that will make a big difference in keeping our kids faithful to the Lord.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

All in favor of being intentional about discipling your kids—raise your hand.     Great, it’s unanimous.    Now that we agree it’s important, how exactly do we do it?    Today on Pardon the Mess, Matt Chandler walks us through the idea of discipleship. You are going to be so glad you invested your time in listening to today’s episode!   As overwhelming as it might seem, the Lord has specifically placed each of us in our children’s lives as disciple-makers. Thankfully, our job doesn’t have to be complex. As Matt puts it: “We’re simply called to do whatever we can, whenever we can, to help our family become friends and followers of Jesus Christ.”    In their book, Family Discipleship, Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin lay out a very attainable rhythm of gospel-centered discipleship. It happens in three key areas of our family lives: time, moments, and milestones. Given even the slightest bit of intentionality, each of these three areas can be touched on practically and naturally.    Matt Chandler is the lead pastor at the Village Church in Dallas, Texas where he lives with his wife and three children. He’s an amazing communicator. If you’re not already hooked, let me leave you with my favorite parenting quote from Matt: “We’re working for the thank you when they are twenty-eight, not when they are fifteen” (I haven’t been able to get his words out of my head).   Ummm—yes! Let’s make sure we’re doing the God things that our kids will thank us for when they are adults, starting with discipling them in the Lord while they are still in our homes. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy