Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

“Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” —Psalm 86:11 We’re called to teach our kids to love Jesus when they wake up, when they go to bed, on the way to baseball, on vacation, coming home from preschool, getting dressed for prom, when someone was mean to them, and everywhere in between. We’re training them to live for Jesus in all circumstances. As parents, it often means we’re less concerned with academic potential and more interested in our child’s heart for the lonely kid at lunch. It’s relentlessly praying that our kids’ inclinations to pursue popularity won’t dilute the truth of their calling and identity in Christ. It’s a mindset shift to the eternal when everyone around them seems focused on the temporal. But, even with the best of intentions, our hearts become so easily divided this side of heaven. It happens when our commitment to Jesus starts to be overshadowed by our desire for comfort, convenience, entitlement, and entertainment. As we pray this week for undivided hearts, we’re praying that our kids understand at an early age the importance of an unwavering commitment to Jesus. It’s praying that they have a God-given resolve to follow his word and his calling on their lives, whatever the cost. Lord, teach us to appreciate that the small things of earth will someday be the big things in heaven. Teach [name] the significance of an undivided heart, marked by a commitment to following you—even when it’s the harder path. Give our family a new spirit of determination to seek you and rely on your faithfulness.God’s word speaks: Ezekiel 11:19, Ezekiel 36:26–27; Jeremiah 17:10; Psalm 51:10Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What an honor to chat with Max Lucado! Max is a pastor, speaker, and bestselling author with more than 145 million products in print, which have been translated into 56 languages and distributed across 80 countries worldwideWe talk about my favorite book written by Max, You Are Special, which I believe every family should own and read often. We also spend some time talking about the story of Jacob and how his life can encourage all of us. His story points us to a crucial truth we can know and understand about God - that he never gives up on us.My favorite part is when we chat about the topic of grace – how to explain that to our kids and live it out when it’s hard. I confess that I like offering grace and have difficulty receiving it. His encouragement to me hit home and I will remember it for a long time.Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:My Time with GodTonight We Pray For The MommaMax Lucado’s new book, God Never Gives Up On YouCourtney’s favorite Max Lucado book, You Are SpecialMaxLucado.ComOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” —Ecclesiastes 4:9–10On her wedding anniversary—and just weeks after unexpectedly losing her young husband—a friend posted this short tribute: “We made a good team and completed each other. When I failed, he stepped in and where he failed, I stepped in. It was a partnership made in heaven and ordained by God.”This is a modern-day paraphrase of the Ecclesiastes verses describing godly relationships. It’s spouses, friends, pastors, and mentors who pick us up when we fall down and build us up when we’re struggling. It’s those who see bigger potential in us than we can see for ourselves and pray God’s biggest plans for us when we don’t have the strength to pray for ourselves. Godly relationships are easily identified because they bear such impact, love, and support that we somehow know the purpose is greater than just for our pleasure. Rather, it is God-ordained and for his glory.As we pray for godly relationships for our children, pray that the Lord guards and anoints every relationship that impacts their lives. Pray for the Lord to bless them with deep, biblical friendships like Ruth and Naomi, godly mentors who speak truth like Nathan did to David, and spouses with an unrelenting love like Jacob and Rachel.Lord, we were created to have relationships that draw us closer together and closer to you. Bless my children with friends, spouses, mentors, and others who build them up and point them back to you. Protect them from influences that are not your best in their lives. Teach [name] not just the importance of having godly friendships but also the gift of being a godly friend.God’s word speaks: Proverbs 22:24–25; Ecclesiastes 4:12; Proverbs 27:17; Proverbs 17:17Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I LOVED this conversation with Sarah Molitor from Modern Farmhouse Family. We talk through the way words, anger and lashing out can be a pattern we despise in our homes. Just reading that may bring up some shame in your heart, and if so, this episode is for you. She is filled with such grace as she shares about her own experience with this struggle. We also take time to remember how powerful words can be in a positive way. She encourages us to look for opportunities to speak life over our kids and families, and enter into their own sin with loads of grace and forgiveness. My favorite part is when Sarah shares a really pivotal moment in her marriage when it so easily could have fallen apart. She gives us all hope that hard family moments and seasons aren’t the end of the story. You will feel so seen through her story and vulnerability. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:My Time with GodSarah’s New Book, Well SaidSarah’s website, Modern Farmhouse FamilySarah’s viral gender reveal Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” —Philippians 4:11At one point, John D. Rockefeller was the world’s richest man and the first billionaire in America. When a reporter asked him how much money is enough, he responded, “Just a little bit more.”“A little bit more” is our culture’s mantra. And it’s not just limited to more money. We want more friends, more toys, more accolades, more popularity, more recognition, more respect, more security (and on and on and on).At the end of the day, contentment isn’t about our possessions, it’s about our heart. So often we think we’re discontent because of our job or bank account, but really our discontentment is a struggle with God’s measure of provision for our lives.In Philippians, Paul writes about being content whatever the circumstances. In doing so, he gives us a significant hint as to how contentment works: it’s learned. It’s consistently taking ourselves back to the cross, knowing that only through the lens of the gospel can we move from grumbling about what we don’t have to gratitude for what we do have but don’t deserve. Let’s pray that our kids can grasp the gift of contentment in a culture of “a little bit more,” allowing them to fully appreciate God’s provision in their own life while celebrating what he’s doing in the lives of others.Lord, help my kids to live marked by contentment. Teach them to value people over possessions, appreciating that all their needs are already met in you. Reveal the greed, entitlement, and idolatry that leads to being discontent, and bring [name] back to a posture of gratitude no matter their circumstances.God’s word speaks: 1 Timothy 6:6–8; Matthew 6:31–33; Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 37:4Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s not everyday we learn from the Department Chair and Professor of Pastoral Ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary. You will love hearing his wisdom and encouragement for us everyday folks as we live in a world of many “influencers.”Influencing is not bad. Our world has just fallen off course in how we go about leading others. And some of the way we do it - is often fake and inauthentic. Jonathan reminds us that influencing was God’s idea way before the Kardashians owned it. Influencing is so much more than social media. He shares about the way Barnabus encouraged and influenced others and what we can learn from his inspiring exampleAbout halfway through, I was holding back the tears as he talked about the calling of motherhood and the unseen, thankless days we often live. We all need those reminders as parents. I am thrilled for you to remember you can live out your kingdom purpose in the midst of everyday life. We have opportunities to influence all around us. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:My Time with GodDr. Jonathan’s Murphy’s websiteAuthentic Influencer by Dr. Jonathan MurphyOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” —Jeremiah 1:5 In a world saturated by social media, it can feel like an uphill battle raising kids who are confident in who Jesus says they are, not in who the world professes they are. Our culture critiques us based on looks, talents, failures, and accomplishments. Thankfully, the Bible gives the real story of our identity, reminding us that we are:Adopted as a sons and daughters of Christ (Romans 8:15)Chosen by God to declare his praise (1 Peter 2:9)Created with a purpose that God prepared in advance (Ephesians 2:10)Citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20)Fully known and accepted by God (Psalm 139:1–4) When our kids are marked by their true identity in Christ, they can live free from the exhausting cycle of trying to please others in order to gain approval. Only in the wake of this freedom can they chase after the person Jesus created them to be, not who our culture wants them to be. Pray for our children to know that they are valuable, loved, seen, chosen, and good enough—not because of who they are, but because of whose they are.Carefully, meticulously, intentionally—that’s how you created every single one of your children. You made no mistakes in the creation process, and you knitted us together in the direct image of yourself. Lord, remind [name] that you alone assign value and that their value is secure and unchanging.God’s word speaks: Ephesians 2:10; Jeremiah 31:3; John 15:16; Romans 8:1Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This one was difficult to title, because it is PACKED with wisdom and practical ideas. We cover topics from empty nesting years, to codependency issues with moms and kids, to living with no regrets, to practical ideas around traditions and celebrations. Krista is an author, speaker, life coach and podcaster that feels like your best friend. You will hear her tenderness as she relates to all of us as moms and the real challenges we face. You will also hear her wisdom and encouragement to keep growing as a woman and mom. I love how she encourages those with empty nests to be okay with two opposing feelings - joy and sorrow. And how she is coping with watching her kids launch into the world. My absolute favorite part is the last 10 minutes. Moms of younger kids - you will LOVE her ideas for traditions and celebrations. Find out what her “my night” tradition is - and why her kids remember that as a highlight. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:KristaGilbert.comBook Krista to speakKrista’s podcastKrista’s Freebies - Celebrations & TraditionsCoDependent No More by Melody BeattieDr. Kelly FlanaganOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” —Isaiah 41:10 ESV God is not surprised when we are fearful. In fact, the Bible is packed full of Scripture reminding us that we don’t need to fear anything because God’s love and protection are perfect. When we choose to follow God, it’s not signing up for the easy road. We will face challenging times over and over again, and the choice will be ours: Are we going to choose faith in God or surrender to fear in the face of uncertainty?Let’s help our kids pick faith over fear remembering these things:We’re instructed to take our worries to God in prayer (1 Peter 5:7).We have assurance that he hears us when we pray (Psalm 34:17).God promises he will love and protect us no matter what we face (Deuteronomy 31:6).In John 16:33, Jesus very plainly offers that in this world there will be trouble. But, in Christ, we need not fear, for he has overcome the world. In other words: let’s remind our kids to be courageous, knowing that no matter what they face, Jesus has already beaten it!God’s word speaks: Joshua 1:9; Psalm 34:4; 2 Timothy 1:7; Psalm 27:1I’m grateful for: ____I’m praying for: _____Lord, remind us that you are the author and creator over all things. You control the rising of the sun, the orbiting of the galaxies, and each and every star in the sky is placed there by you. Teach [name] to trust you in the difficulties each day. Replace fear with faith, knowing you have power over all things.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You guys LOVED the Empty Nester Wisdom series - so we’ve got another one to add to that list. This time, it’s a couple I LOVE and adore. My former pastor and my mentor - they just happen to be married. The Hendersons have encouraged my life and helped guide me through some of the biggest decisions in my life, and I don’t say that lightly. They are often my first call when making a choice that would impact my family.In this episode, we discuss their current life stage as empty nesters and their advice for other couples. We also chat about “what to do next” - how to make tough decisions as a united couple. And even, when to involve kids?My favorite part is how they reflect on the things they prioritized as a family and why. They are both so super intentional and it has truly impacted the way I engage with my own kids. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Without WaveringNoteworthy PrayersJeffHenderson.ComWendy’s InstagramWhat to Do Next, Jeff’s latest bookKnow What You’re For by Jeff HendersonOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy