Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

I LOVED this conversation with Sarah Molitor from Modern Farmhouse Family. We talk through the way words, anger and lashing out can be a pattern we despise in our homes. Just reading that may bring up some shame in your heart, and if so, this episode is for you. She is filled with such grace as she shares about her own experience with this struggle. We also take time to remember how powerful words can be in a positive way. She encourages us to look for opportunities to speak life over our kids and families, and enter into their own sin with loads of grace and forgiveness. My favorite part is when Sarah shares a really pivotal moment in her marriage when it so easily could have fallen apart. She gives us all hope that hard family moments and seasons aren’t the end of the story. You will feel so seen through her story and vulnerability. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:My Time with GodSarah’s New Book, Well SaidSarah’s website, Modern Farmhouse FamilySarah’s viral gender reveal Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” —Philippians 4:11At one point, John D. Rockefeller was the world’s richest man and the first billionaire in America. When a reporter asked him how much money is enough, he responded, “Just a little bit more.”“A little bit more” is our culture’s mantra. And it’s not just limited to more money. We want more friends, more toys, more accolades, more popularity, more recognition, more respect, more security (and on and on and on).At the end of the day, contentment isn’t about our possessions, it’s about our heart. So often we think we’re discontent because of our job or bank account, but really our discontentment is a struggle with God’s measure of provision for our lives.In Philippians, Paul writes about being content whatever the circumstances. In doing so, he gives us a significant hint as to how contentment works: it’s learned. It’s consistently taking ourselves back to the cross, knowing that only through the lens of the gospel can we move from grumbling about what we don’t have to gratitude for what we do have but don’t deserve. Let’s pray that our kids can grasp the gift of contentment in a culture of “a little bit more,” allowing them to fully appreciate God’s provision in their own life while celebrating what he’s doing in the lives of others.Lord, help my kids to live marked by contentment. Teach them to value people over possessions, appreciating that all their needs are already met in you. Reveal the greed, entitlement, and idolatry that leads to being discontent, and bring [name] back to a posture of gratitude no matter their circumstances.God’s word speaks: 1 Timothy 6:6–8; Matthew 6:31–33; Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 37:4Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s not everyday we learn from the Department Chair and Professor of Pastoral Ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary. You will love hearing his wisdom and encouragement for us everyday folks as we live in a world of many “influencers.”Influencing is not bad. Our world has just fallen off course in how we go about leading others. And some of the way we do it - is often fake and inauthentic. Jonathan reminds us that influencing was God’s idea way before the Kardashians owned it. Influencing is so much more than social media. He shares about the way Barnabus encouraged and influenced others and what we can learn from his inspiring exampleAbout halfway through, I was holding back the tears as he talked about the calling of motherhood and the unseen, thankless days we often live. We all need those reminders as parents. I am thrilled for you to remember you can live out your kingdom purpose in the midst of everyday life. We have opportunities to influence all around us. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:My Time with GodDr. Jonathan’s Murphy’s websiteAuthentic Influencer by Dr. Jonathan MurphyOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” —Jeremiah 1:5 In a world saturated by social media, it can feel like an uphill battle raising kids who are confident in who Jesus says they are, not in who the world professes they are. Our culture critiques us based on looks, talents, failures, and accomplishments. Thankfully, the Bible gives the real story of our identity, reminding us that we are:Adopted as a sons and daughters of Christ (Romans 8:15)Chosen by God to declare his praise (1 Peter 2:9)Created with a purpose that God prepared in advance (Ephesians 2:10)Citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20)Fully known and accepted by God (Psalm 139:1–4) When our kids are marked by their true identity in Christ, they can live free from the exhausting cycle of trying to please others in order to gain approval. Only in the wake of this freedom can they chase after the person Jesus created them to be, not who our culture wants them to be. Pray for our children to know that they are valuable, loved, seen, chosen, and good enough—not because of who they are, but because of whose they are.Carefully, meticulously, intentionally—that’s how you created every single one of your children. You made no mistakes in the creation process, and you knitted us together in the direct image of yourself. Lord, remind [name] that you alone assign value and that their value is secure and unchanging.God’s word speaks: Ephesians 2:10; Jeremiah 31:3; John 15:16; Romans 8:1Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This one was difficult to title, because it is PACKED with wisdom and practical ideas. We cover topics from empty nesting years, to codependency issues with moms and kids, to living with no regrets, to practical ideas around traditions and celebrations. Krista is an author, speaker, life coach and podcaster that feels like your best friend. You will hear her tenderness as she relates to all of us as moms and the real challenges we face. You will also hear her wisdom and encouragement to keep growing as a woman and mom. I love how she encourages those with empty nests to be okay with two opposing feelings - joy and sorrow. And how she is coping with watching her kids launch into the world. My absolute favorite part is the last 10 minutes. Moms of younger kids - you will LOVE her ideas for traditions and celebrations. Find out what her “my night” tradition is - and why her kids remember that as a highlight. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:KristaGilbert.comBook Krista to speakKrista’s podcastKrista’s Freebies - Celebrations & TraditionsCoDependent No More by Melody BeattieDr. Kelly FlanaganOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” —Isaiah 41:10 ESV God is not surprised when we are fearful. In fact, the Bible is packed full of Scripture reminding us that we don’t need to fear anything because God’s love and protection are perfect. When we choose to follow God, it’s not signing up for the easy road. We will face challenging times over and over again, and the choice will be ours: Are we going to choose faith in God or surrender to fear in the face of uncertainty?Let’s help our kids pick faith over fear remembering these things:We’re instructed to take our worries to God in prayer (1 Peter 5:7).We have assurance that he hears us when we pray (Psalm 34:17).God promises he will love and protect us no matter what we face (Deuteronomy 31:6).In John 16:33, Jesus very plainly offers that in this world there will be trouble. But, in Christ, we need not fear, for he has overcome the world. In other words: let’s remind our kids to be courageous, knowing that no matter what they face, Jesus has already beaten it!God’s word speaks: Joshua 1:9; Psalm 34:4; 2 Timothy 1:7; Psalm 27:1I’m grateful for: ____I’m praying for: _____Lord, remind us that you are the author and creator over all things. You control the rising of the sun, the orbiting of the galaxies, and each and every star in the sky is placed there by you. Teach [name] to trust you in the difficulties each day. Replace fear with faith, knowing you have power over all things.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You guys LOVED the Empty Nester Wisdom series - so we’ve got another one to add to that list. This time, it’s a couple I LOVE and adore. My former pastor and my mentor - they just happen to be married. The Hendersons have encouraged my life and helped guide me through some of the biggest decisions in my life, and I don’t say that lightly. They are often my first call when making a choice that would impact my family.In this episode, we discuss their current life stage as empty nesters and their advice for other couples. We also chat about “what to do next” - how to make tough decisions as a united couple. And even, when to involve kids?My favorite part is how they reflect on the things they prioritized as a family and why. They are both so super intentional and it has truly impacted the way I engage with my own kids. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Without WaveringNoteworthy PrayersJeffHenderson.ComWendy’s InstagramWhat to Do Next, Jeff’s latest bookKnow What You’re For by Jeff HendersonOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” —Psalm 84:11As we continue praying wisdom, stature, and favor for our kids, it’s notable that Luke 2:52 tells us young Jesus himself was growing in all aspects of his life: mentally (in wisdom), physically (in stature), and spiritually (in favor with God). What a great reminder to pray over all the areas of our kids’ lives, not limiting our requests to God.It’s abundantly clear we already have God’s favor when we consider our name is written in the book of life despite our unworthiness. But as we pray God’s continued favor over our children, we’re simply asking him to accomplish things in their lives that would be impossible for them to do on their own.David experienced God’s favor in his face-off with Goliath, the Israelites saw God’s favor when the Red Sea parted, and Sarah definitely had God’s favor when she received word of her pregnancy.The good news about God’s favor is that he’s looking for people to bless with it. We’re told that “the eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him” (2 Chronicles 16:9 NLT). In other words, God is literally looking across the earth for those he can bless because he loves us and wants to make our lives significant for his glory.God’s favor is unlimited and unmistakable in our lives, but we’re best positioned to receive it when we’re obedient, walking in step with him, and surrendering to his purposes.Let’s pray that our kids live lives God can bless, allowing his favor on all that they do.Lord, thank you for showing your great favor on us. You give us significance and purpose far beyond what we could do on our own. Empower [name] to live each day in a way that you can bless, teaching them daily the importance of obedience to your word.God’s word speaks: Psalm 90:17; Ephesians 2:8–9; Numbers 6:25–26; Proverbs 3:1–2Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Spoiler alert: these two are as normal as all of us. They are raising kids in the midst of a tough world and chaos at home - they just happen to minister to a worldwide audience. There is an authentic faith in both of them that is so refreshing. You will see why so many of us have been blessed by Chris’s songs throughout many years. I have so many favorite parts from this conversation. I get to catch up with my long time friend, Lauren. Together, they share such wise and practical parenting tips for us, and then we end with a story from Chris - how one man blessed him with a prayer (that he would write songs that the world would sing). It’s truly unreal that the exact words he spoke came to life. It’s a powerful reminder for us to speak what God is telling us about the people in our paths. It could bring millions to the Lord.  Lastly, be sure to listen to Lauren’s simple yet profound routine to pray with her girls as they head to school. She asks God to speak to them about how much he loves them every day. Her desire is to teach them to hear how God speaks personally to them.Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:How to Really Love Your Child by Dr. Ross CampbellHome For Dinner by Mike PenceMother Hunger by Kelly McDanielForOthers.ComWithout WaveringFlourished and RootedOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” —1 Samuel 16:7If we want our kids to grow in wisdom, stature, and favor like Jesus, how should we pray when it comes to stature? Merriam-Webster’s definition of stature speaks both to physical height as well as status or reputation; both are key areas we can pray over our kids.Praying for physical growth is praying that our kids remain healthy and develop into adults who can best accomplish God’s plans for them. It’s remembering that our bodies are God’s temple, so we are called to care for them with the same concern and reverence we would show the physical church. It's praying over our kids’ physical relationships, their decisions related to alcohol and drugs, their health, and praying over everything that impacts their bodies.Along with physical growth, stature includes praying over our kids’ reputations. Our reputation has the power to lead people to Christ or, if not done well, ruin our witness. It’s what the world looks at to see if we practice what we preach. Knowing that we’re called to live a life worthy of the gospel, let’s pray that our kids grow a reputation consistent with their faith.Lord, we know you’re more concerned with our heart than our physical appearance, so cultivate in [name]a heart that’s marked by their faith in you. Guide each of my children to make decisions with both their body and reputation that honors you.God’s word speaks:1 Corinthians 6:19–201 Corinthians 13:11 Proverbs 22:1 Philippians 1:27Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy