Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

This is a big statement, but accurate: Toni might be our funniest guest so far. I was so highly amused by her experiences with krumping and twerking in the club. And I was deeply moved by her passion to help broken women find hope and healing. Toni is a returning guest to Pardon The Mess because you all LOVED her so much the first time. She is the founder of an international women’s organization called Broken Crayons Still Color and helps women process through brokenness and get to healing and hope. Toni is a speaker, podcast host, author, pastor and mom of two adorable kiddos. My favorite thing about Toni is that she confronts the hard things. She believes the best way to meet life’s challenges is head-on. She is honest and real - and never ever steers away from sharing the real pain involved in her own life - from survivingserving abuse to a tough divorce and much more. In the same breath - she brings you back to hope. We all need the reminder that being broken isn’t the end of the story.Enjoy!CourtneyConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show: “Jesus, the Light of the World”: An Advent Devotional for Kids!ToniCollier.comToni’s First Book, Brave Enough To Be BrokenToni’s Latest Book for Kids, Broken Crayons Still ColorToni’s Suits, Shop ClassierToni’s Threads’ Epic ContentInstagram@simplybeboxSubscribeSimplyBeBox.com/SubscribePrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” —Matthew 6:19–20Everything we have has been given to us by God.When we really stop and think about this truth, it can’t help but reframe how we operate in light of God’s generosity toward us. The gospel calls us to be generous, not just because it benefits those around us, but because it benefits us.To be marked by generosity, our kids need a few foundational truths:God owns it all, and we are simply stewards of his wealth on earth (1 Peter 4:10).Generosity is a matter of the heart, and giving is an act of worship (1 John 3:17)God’s generosity is unmatched when you consider the gift of Jesus (Romans 5:8).Generosity is not just a financial matter. Our kids can practice generosity even now by having a compassionate heart, a willingness to include others, advocating for the underdog, and freely extending forgiveness.When we give to God, we never lose. Instead, we gain the opportunity to participate in his larger kingdom ministries. Being faithful in little leads to opportunities to be faithful in much (Luke 16:10).Lord, if you didn’t provide us with one more thing this side of heaven, we would still be overwhelmed by your generosity at the cross. Give [name] hearts of generosity, teaching them that our greatest gain comes from giving away what was never ours to begin with.God’s word speaks: 2 Corinthians 9:6–7; Luke 6:38; Acts 20:35; 1 Timothy 6:17–19Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It didn’t take me long to hear that Kayla Craig is a peaceful, gentle soul. You can absolutely tell she is a parent bathed in prayer and has a heart to help parents in the midst of really painful journeys. Kayla speaks about her child with Down Syndrome and shares about a time that a “book of prayers” helped her find the words when she didn’t have any.My favorite part is towards the end when we are talking about when kids have hard questions about faith, and being okay with some of the unknown parts and mysteries of following Jesus. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:“Jesus, the Light of the World”: An Advent Devotional for Kids!Kayla’s WebsiteEvery Season Sacred - Kayla’s latest bookKayla’s PodcastPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” —James 1:22Many of us have heard Bible stories for as long as we can remember. We learned about a young boy named David defeating a huge giant with a slingshot, an honorable man named Noah building an ark having never experienced rain, and the story of Daniel walking unharmed out of a lions’ den because of God’s protection.As children, these stories were entertaining. As adults, they are the foundations of truth by which we’re called to live.Being marked by God’s word means we don’t just hear it; we are changed by it. As parents, we commit to teaching our kids God’s word when they are little so that the foundational truths of Scripture are planted in their souls for when they grow older.We’re praying for our kids to gain an understanding of the bigger picture of God’s word this week, that they understand how God gets the greatest glory when we boldly face our giants in God’s strength, like David did. We’re praying that God will call them to obey when it makes no earthly sense, like Noah did. And, as they grow older and weather some long, hard places of suffering, they will know they were never alone, like Daniel did.Lord, your word never returns empty. We claim this truth as we raise our kids in Scripture, praying that you give them a deeper understanding of the Bible and its priority for their lives. Keep [name] from simply hearing your word, but give it life and meaning that changes the way they live.God’s word speaks: Luke 11:28; Hebrews 4:12; Isaiah 40:8; Matthew 7:24Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This is a big one. Titania Jordan, Chief Parent Officer and CMO of Bark, is with us today. Please don’t miss this conversation and share it with friends. You likely have the feeling of fear rising up in you as you see the topic. As parents, we have to face the beast of technology. The safety and overall health of our kids is on the line. The good news is that you are NOT ALONE in the struggle, and Titania is one of the experts in this field providing amazing resources to help us in the journey. We get very practical in this conversation and I believe you will walk away feeling seen, understood and supported. Titania and I are both honest with how we have personally dropped the ball and what we would do differently looking back. She is so good about encouraging progress over perfection. My favorite part is when Titania encourages parents to practically look at your child’s demeanor and behavior and trust your gut. Be brave enough to get help for them if you sense something has altered their behavior in a significant way. At Christian Parenting, we wanted you to provide further support on this topic of technology. We have compiled some of the best resources Christian Parenting has on technology and put them in one place for you to easily find. Get your free copy of Technology Simplified now!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:The One Year Pray For Family BibleTitania’s InstagramTitania’s book - Parenting in a Tech WorldParenting In a Tech World - Facebook GroupBark AppBark PhoneHelp Desk at BarkPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” —Psalm 86:11 We’re called to teach our kids to love Jesus when they wake up, when they go to bed, on the way to baseball, on vacation, coming home from preschool, getting dressed for prom, when someone was mean to them, and everywhere in between. We’re training them to live for Jesus in all circumstances. As parents, it often means we’re less concerned with academic potential and more interested in our child’s heart for the lonely kid at lunch. It’s relentlessly praying that our kids’ inclinations to pursue popularity won’t dilute the truth of their calling and identity in Christ. It’s a mindset shift to the eternal when everyone around them seems focused on the temporal. But, even with the best of intentions, our hearts become so easily divided this side of heaven. It happens when our commitment to Jesus starts to be overshadowed by our desire for comfort, convenience, entitlement, and entertainment. As we pray this week for undivided hearts, we’re praying that our kids understand at an early age the importance of an unwavering commitment to Jesus. It’s praying that they have a God-given resolve to follow his word and his calling on their lives, whatever the cost. Lord, teach us to appreciate that the small things of earth will someday be the big things in heaven. Teach [name] the significance of an undivided heart, marked by a commitment to following you—even when it’s the harder path. Give our family a new spirit of determination to seek you and rely on your faithfulness.God’s word speaks: Ezekiel 11:19, Ezekiel 36:26–27; Jeremiah 17:10; Psalm 51:10Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What an honor to chat with Max Lucado! Max is a pastor, speaker, and bestselling author with more than 145 million products in print, which have been translated into 56 languages and distributed across 80 countries worldwideWe talk about my favorite book written by Max, You Are Special, which I believe every family should own and read often. We also spend some time talking about the story of Jacob and how his life can encourage all of us. His story points us to a crucial truth we can know and understand about God - that he never gives up on us.My favorite part is when we chat about the topic of grace – how to explain that to our kids and live it out when it’s hard. I confess that I like offering grace and have difficulty receiving it. His encouragement to me hit home and I will remember it for a long time.Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:My Time with GodTonight We Pray For The MommaMax Lucado’s new book, God Never Gives Up On YouCourtney’s favorite Max Lucado book, You Are SpecialMaxLucado.ComPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” —Ecclesiastes 4:9–10On her wedding anniversary—and just weeks after unexpectedly losing her young husband—a friend posted this short tribute: “We made a good team and completed each other. When I failed, he stepped in and where he failed, I stepped in. It was a partnership made in heaven and ordained by God.”This is a modern-day paraphrase of the Ecclesiastes verses describing godly relationships. It’s spouses, friends, pastors, and mentors who pick us up when we fall down and build us up when we’re struggling. It’s those who see bigger potential in us than we can see for ourselves and pray God’s biggest plans for us when we don’t have the strength to pray for ourselves. Godly relationships are easily identified because they bear such impact, love, and support that we somehow know the purpose is greater than just for our pleasure. Rather, it is God-ordained and for his glory.As we pray for godly relationships for our children, pray that the Lord guards and anoints every relationship that impacts their lives. Pray for the Lord to bless them with deep, biblical friendships like Ruth and Naomi, godly mentors who speak truth like Nathan did to David, and spouses with an unrelenting love like Jacob and Rachel.Lord, we were created to have relationships that draw us closer together and closer to you. Bless my children with friends, spouses, mentors, and others who build them up and point them back to you. Protect them from influences that are not your best in their lives. Teach [name] not just the importance of having godly friendships but also the gift of being a godly friend.God’s word speaks: Proverbs 22:24–25; Ecclesiastes 4:12; Proverbs 27:17; Proverbs 17:17Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I LOVED this conversation with Sarah Molitor from Modern Farmhouse Family. We talk through the way words, anger and lashing out can be a pattern we despise in our homes. Just reading that may bring up some shame in your heart, and if so, this episode is for you. She is filled with such grace as she shares about her own experience with this struggle. We also take time to remember how powerful words can be in a positive way. She encourages us to look for opportunities to speak life over our kids and families, and enter into their own sin with loads of grace and forgiveness. My favorite part is when Sarah shares a really pivotal moment in her marriage when it so easily could have fallen apart. She gives us all hope that hard family moments and seasons aren’t the end of the story. You will feel so seen through her story and vulnerability. Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:My Time with GodSarah’s New Book, Well SaidSarah’s website, Modern Farmhouse FamilySarah’s viral gender reveal Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” —Philippians 4:11At one point, John D. Rockefeller was the world’s richest man and the first billionaire in America. When a reporter asked him how much money is enough, he responded, “Just a little bit more.”“A little bit more” is our culture’s mantra. And it’s not just limited to more money. We want more friends, more toys, more accolades, more popularity, more recognition, more respect, more security (and on and on and on).At the end of the day, contentment isn’t about our possessions, it’s about our heart. So often we think we’re discontent because of our job or bank account, but really our discontentment is a struggle with God’s measure of provision for our lives.In Philippians, Paul writes about being content whatever the circumstances. In doing so, he gives us a significant hint as to how contentment works: it’s learned. It’s consistently taking ourselves back to the cross, knowing that only through the lens of the gospel can we move from grumbling about what we don’t have to gratitude for what we do have but don’t deserve. Let’s pray that our kids can grasp the gift of contentment in a culture of “a little bit more,” allowing them to fully appreciate God’s provision in their own life while celebrating what he’s doing in the lives of others.Lord, help my kids to live marked by contentment. Teach them to value people over possessions, appreciating that all their needs are already met in you. Reveal the greed, entitlement, and idolatry that leads to being discontent, and bring [name] back to a posture of gratitude no matter their circumstances.God’s word speaks: 1 Timothy 6:6–8; Matthew 6:31–33; Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 37:4Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy