
Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids
As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Latest episodes

Apr 11, 2024 • 33min
How to approach God when you have anger, doubt and frustration with Adrienne Camp
What a treat to talk to Adrienne Camp about how she is trusting God with her kids. Adrienne “Adie” Camp, a South African singer and songwriter, was the lead singer of the Christian rock band The Benjamin Gate before launching her solo career. She is married to fellow musician Jeremy Camp, whom she met on tour in 2002. They have been married since 2003 and have two daughters, Bella and Arie, and one son, Egan. Throughout this entire episode, you will hear Adrienne’s heart to connect people in a very tangible way with Jesus. However, she acknowledges that we don’t always feel excited about that. Sometimes, we are sitting in a real place of doubt, frustration and disbelief. No matter where you are on your faith journey (or your kids) - I think you will feel so encouraged by Adrienne’s words and wisdom. In this episode we discuss:The desire to protect our kids from mistakesThe real grief experienced when you launch a child Getting honest with God - all our feelings and emotions included doubt and angerConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:As For Me - Adrienne’s latest bible study on Psalms Even Me - Adrienne’s book with her girls about their journey to AfricaAdrienne Camp’s Instagram Pardon the Mess episode with Jonathan and Peta PittsChristian Parenting Store (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024)Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Apr 8, 2024 • 21min
BONUS: Marked by our Soul
“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” —Mark 8:36Loving God with all of our soul sounds very important, but what exactly is our soul?Our soul lies deep down inside of us and is our very core. It’s the invisible part of us that connects us with God. It is where we are most at home, and it’s the most fundamental driver of who we are from the inside out. If you strip away all of our outward actions and how we choose to portray ourselves (or how others may define us), the soul is our truest self.To love the Lord with all of our soul, we’ve got to be faithful in private. We’ve got to be devoted to the things that drench our soul in Jesus and be willing to drop the things that don’t. It’s spending time in prayer confessing what’s in our soul, not just in our mind. As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their souls this week, let’s pray that they learn to love him with the very core of who they are—not by what they intellectually believe about him, or how they serve him, or what they communicate to others by their faith, but truly learning to love Jesus from the core of their being. Pray for the Lord to reveal the depths of their soul and teach them how to love him with all that they are. Lord, we confess to spending a disproportionate amount of time worrying about our earthly bodies, usually at the expense of our soul. Please teach [name] how to love you from their very core, giving priority to the only part of us that will live eternally. God’s word speaks: Psalm 119:81; Psalm 63:8; Deuteronomy 4:29; Matthew 10:28Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Apr 4, 2024 • 32min
When you are beyond tired (soul exhausted) and don’t know how to get rest with Jess Connolly
I am taking a guess that 100% of us are exhausted. And this is beyond the physically tired feeling. You all will love the encouragement and wisdom on today’s episode by Jess Connolly. I have always loved her teaching and preaching - because she balances compassion and truth so well. She doesn’t leave us sitting in the challenges - she provides biblical, practical and realistic ways we can move forward in this issue.This idea of burnout and an unsustainable pace is not new information. We know we are in it but are not sure why or how to stop it as parents? So what do we do? Tune in to this week’s podcast chat with Jess - you won’t feel shame - you will feel equipped and encouraged to do the hard work of rest. We all know our souls are crying for it.I was so absolutely amused at the start of our conversation when I asked her about her cold plunge obsession. Is anyone else into the idea of purposely jumping into ice cold water? She actually gives a pretty compelling case to try it.Jess’ story of emotional, physical and spiritual breakdownHow to tend to your soul and stop feeling so defeated How to break the cycle of surviving vs thriving How can we respond to God’s invitation to restConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:JessConnolly.comTired of Being Tired - Jess’ new bookRaising Mentally Strong KidsChristian Parenting store (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024)Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Apr 1, 2024 • 9min
BONUS: Marked by Our Heart
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” —Mark 12:30 Remember the lawyer who tried to trick Jesus by asking him to name the greatest commandment? (Lawyers, am I right?) Jesus, knowing this guy’s antics, responded with, “Love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” If we break it down, what does it look like to love God with all of our heart? Our heart is not just critical to our health; it’s also the epicenter of our spiritual life. It’s central to our thoughts and actions, where we spend money, and even the words that come out of our mouths. When Jesus talks about loving God with all our heart, he’s referencing our emotions and decisions. In order for us to love God with all of our hearts, we have to prioritize spending time with him and in his word. When we spend time with God, we start wanting to do the things that are pleasing to God and we care about the things that he cares about. Having time with our creator enables us to know what he wants for our lives, and we can’t help but pursue him and the things he values and wants for our families. Let’s pray this week that our kids learn to love God with all of their hearts, beginning with prioritizing time with him and pursuing him in all that they do. Lord, teach us to show our love for you, not just with our words, but with our lifestyle. Lead [name] to prioritize time in your word and learn to pursue you in all that they do. Remind us that loving you means also loving our neighbor. Make us aware of the needs we can meet around us. God’s word speaks: 1 John 4:7–8; 1 Corinthians 13:13; John 13:34; 1 John 4:19Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mar 28, 2024 • 55min
What do I do with my life? How to pursue your gifts while feeling trapped and unseen with Brooke Warnock
There’s not a day that goes by that I do not hear these same sentiments from a mom. And I have been there many times.I feel so lost.I don’t know what to do with my life.I feel overlooked and unseen.I feel like I don’t dream or use my gifts.In this episode, I get the pleasure of having a real life heart chat with my friend (and my Life Plan Coach) Brooke Warnock. She shares about her journey of raising 5 kids on a ranch - while wanting to use her unique gifts for the Lord. It can be a huge struggle for all of us.My favorite part is how honest she is about the struggle of using your gifts and raising kids. She will make you feel so seen as she shares her journey. I pray you feel so very encouraged that this is not the end of your story. In some ways, the motherhood years are just the beginning. If you don’t have your exact calling and purpose figured out - do not feel discouraged. I pray you never forget that God will use every bit of you and your giftings to raise those kids and build your home. In this episode we discuss: What to do when you feel trapped and unseen at homeHow to bring your gifts and talents into your home, not just your vocationHow to dream and redefine your life while embracing the seasons of parentingWhat is wrong? What is right? What is confused? What is missing?Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:BrookeWarnock.comBrooke’s free assessmentLifePlan with BrookePaterson LifePlanLost Valley RanchIf GatheringBlue Zones DocumentaryRaising Mentally Strong KidsOur Scripture Affirmation Cards are the perfect gifts for your kid’s Easter Baskets!Brooke’s challenge to ask these questions:What is wrong? What is right? What is confusing? What is missing?Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mar 25, 2024 • 12min
BONUS: Marked by Fruit
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” —Galatians 5:22–23 As we celebrate Easter, we have the opportunity to pray that the power of the cross impacts every area of our kids’ lives. It is an incredible assurance knowing that, by accepting Jesus, our kids have a new eternal destination. But we’re also praying for a daily life transformation.When our kids become Christians, we should begin looking for (and hopefully seeing) fruit in their lives. Jesus said those who follow him will produce spiritual fruit, and it’s by this fruit you will know them (Matthew 7:20).In Galatians, Paul describes some attributes of a life without Christ, including anger, idolatry, jealousy, selfishness, impurity, and strife. In contrast, with Christ we start to see the spiritual fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. Thankfully, this is not simply a checklist of things we’re constantly trying to achieve. Instead, it’s produced by allowing the Holy Spirit to work within us.Without even trying, our kids will produce fruit that’s visible to the world around them. This fruit can either be produced by the Holy Spirit or produced by their own spirit. Our prayer is that our kids will submit to the Holy Spirit’s leadership, resulting in less of their own fruit and more of his.This week, let’s pray that Easter Sunday impacts the way our kids live on Monday and that they produce fruit that leads others to trust Jesus and his great sacrifice at the cross.He is risen! He is risen indeed!Lord, thank you for your sacrifice at the cross. Allow our gratitude for the significance of Easter to impact how we live every day. Grow our kids in obedience and holiness, naturally leading them to produce spiritual fruit. Help [name] to submit to your Holy Spirit in both the small and big ways, making their life a clearer reflection of you.God’s word speaks: Matthew 7:17–18; Romans 8:6; Ephesians 4:1–3; Romans 15:13Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mar 21, 2024 • 37min
How to find JOY in the everyday moments with Jenna Griffith
As soon as I heard about Jenna’s passion for JOY in the home - I knew I wanted to have her on the podcast. Parenting is hard, but there is a way to still bring joy into the everyday messes of motherhood. I absolutely loved her encouragement on how to get intentional about redirecting our attitudes, conversations and outlook to one that is joy. She reminds us we do have control of our mind - and we can reframe how we see all the tiny annoyances and messes. This doesn’t mean we never get down or get honest with the hard - it’s just an encouragement to not let negativity and frustration ruin some very special years as a mom.My kids would tell you I’m quite moody, but I do see the difference in our home when I find the good and let go of the tiny frustrations. My mood really impacts the home I’ve often called myself the CMO - Chief Mood Officer. Do you sense that your mood can often set the tone and even help redirect to joy?My favorite part is when we talk about community. Are you surrounding yourself with other parents that only complain? What can you do in those moments when everyone is complaining about their kids? In this episode we discuss:Jenna’s journey with postpartum depressionHow to find the good and joy in the everyday (even when it’s hard)Practical ways to bring fun and joy into the mess Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Jenna’s siteJenna’s podcastListener Kids YouTube ChannelRegister for Camp WinShapeOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mar 18, 2024 • 16min
BONUS: Marked by Armor
What a GIFT to have my dear friend Cari Trotter to pray for us this week about the armor of God. I was so incredibly blessed by our time and needed the chat and prayer myself.“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” —Ephesians 6:11–12 Most of us don’t spend a lot of time contemplating how to fight against the devil’s schemes, but Scripture does. Thankfully, Jesus has already won our ultimate battle by his death on the cross and resurrection from the grave. But, even then, there will still be trouble in this world because we have a real Enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). As we face the visible (and often invisible) battles each day, Satan’s success hinges on catching us unprepared and with our guard down. Let’s pray that our kids are battle-ready by wearing the armor of God, as seen in Ephesians 6:13–17:The belt of truth: Pray that God’s truth will defeat the enemy’s lies in their lives.The breastplate of righteousness: Pray that they withstand attacks of impurity and wrongdoing by clinging to righteousness.Feet fitted with the gospel of peace: Pray for a willingness to go and share the gospel.The shield of faith: Pray for protection from doubt, fear, and anxiety.The helmet of salvation: Pray for a mind controlled by God.The sword of the Spirit: Pray that God’s word is their offense, knowing it’s sharper than any sword. Lord, the battles waged against our kids will be difficult and often unseen. Help them to be ready for anything they face through your protection and power. Mark [name] with a readiness that only comes from you. Prepare them with every tool necessary for victory in your name.God’s word speaks: Ephesians 6:13–17; 1 Thessalonians 5:6; 1 Peter 5:8; 1 Corinthians 16:13Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mar 14, 2024 • 33min
How to raise world changers with Carlos Whittaker
Carlos Whittaker, known for honesty and vulnerability, discusses raising kids to be world changers. Topics include modeling kindness, empathy, and having conversations of hope. Emphasizes walking with people, not standing on issues, and fostering less self-righteousness in children.

Mar 11, 2024 • 12min
BONUS: Marked by Refinement
“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” —1 Peter 1:6–7 The final stage in gold production is refinement, the process of using heat to remove impurities from metal. After the gold is refined, only the most valuable qualities remain because the impurities and lesser qualities have been eliminated. Scripture says that God is refining us. Even though we’re created in his exact image, we are free-willed human beings riddled with sin and impurities that don’t line up with who we were created to be. Just as the refinement of gold takes place in the heat of fire, refinement in our own lives often happens in the “furnace of affliction” (Isaiah 48:10). As parents, we want to keep our kids from the hard places, so we find ourselves stepping in when they face difficulties. But what if God is working most significantly in the hard places in their lives? What if changing their circumstances prevents God from changing their heart? As we’re praying for our kids to be marked by refinement, let’s not ask God to remove their obstacles but rather to remove their impurities. Let’s pray that when the heat intensifies, our kids learn to trust that the One who allows the fire will also bring them through it. Lord, you refine us so that we are cleansed from unrighteousness and become a purer version of who you created us to be. We ask you to take all of the difficulties and trials that [name] will face and use them as an opportunity to see a clearer picture of you. Thank you for loving us too much to leave us as we are. Refine us for your glory. God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 1:6–7; Zechariah 13:9; Romans 8:18; Job 23:10Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy