Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

It’s not everyday you get to interview someone that disconnected in an extreme way. Carlos Whittaker wanted to really test his attachment to his phone and learn from the power disconnecting. So he went to live in an Amish community, in a monastery, and then did life at home without a device. His lessons are so powerful about how to reconnect with the ones we love most.When we recorded this episode, Carlos had just recently lost his father and was about to speak at his funeral. Many people have grown to love him on Carlos’ instagram account, and I have been so moved by the way Carlos cared for him through his final days. You won’t want to miss the parenting lesson he shares about his amazing father.I’d love to challenge us today. Let’s practically think through our daily lives and how we can disconnect regularly so that we connect more intentionally with each child. Carlos offers several practical ideas on how to do that - even if your job requires you to be online.In this episode, we discuss:How connection matters with our kidsHow to disconnect from devices and whyHow to connect with teens and their interestsEnjoy!Courtney  Chapters(00:00) Navigating Parenting Challenges(02:54) Caring for Aging Parents(05:58) A Life-Changing Call(08:58) The Journey to Reconnection(11:55) Transformative Family Time(15:00) Balancing Work and Life(17:46) Detoxing from Digital Dependency(20:09) Balancing Online Sharing and Family Life(22:37) Curiosity as a Path to Empathy(26:45) Connecting with Teens through Shared InterestsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with CarlosCarlos’ Podcast - Human SchoolCarlos’ latest book - ReconnectedA Million Tiny Moments Dead Sea SquirrelsChristian Parenting Easter bundlePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6–7)The Greek word for anxiety means “cut up into pieces.” So when we feel anxious we feel cut up or divided, and if you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, it can really feel like that! But Jesus wants us to bring him our cut-up pieces because his peace can make us whole. In fact, the Greek word for peace means “wholeness.” So this verse literally says God wants us to bring our divided hearts to him so he can make them whole. So many of our kids struggle with anxiety and so many of us do as well. None of us want to see our kids hurt as they fight this battle. Anxiety and worry are challenging roads, but we can encourage our kids that we follow the God who made the whole universe. He cares for them, hears them, and wants to ease their burdens.This week, let’s pray that they cast their fears and anxiety onto the Lord so that they can feel his rest because his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30). Lord, I pray that ________________ brings their divided heart to you. I pray against the anxiety that is so prevalent today. Whatever it is that ___________ feels cut up about, may they present their requests to you, and may your wholeness guard their heart and mind. Please give them the peace that passes all understanding. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Grace Valentine is BACK! You all absolutely loved the first episode and you will love this one even more. Grace is a firecracker for Jesus. That’s what a grandma would say - but it’s so true. She comes in with such energy and truth that will just fire you up.She is a speaker, author and podcast host and is impacting thousands of young women around the world. On today’s episode we talk about all things FRIENDS. Friendships are just hard, not just for young girls for us as women. Grace has bible-based true encouragement for how to make and maintain friends.JOURNAL alert! You will need to take notes for this one. She just casually tosses out profound statements at the speed of lightning. So, buckle in.My favorite part is when she compared homecoming to the Met Gala. I still laugh out loud when I think about it. She quickly pivots from that joke to the sting of rejection. She also asks amazing questions: will that rejection taint your view or make you wiser and kinder? Or will it make you bitter? In this episode, we chat about: Understanding shallow vs deep friendshipsHow to humble yourself in conflictChallenges of making and keeping friendsEnjoy!Courtney DeFeo (02:58) Navigating College and Post-Grad Life(05:53) Friendship Journeys and Challenges(09:00) The Complexity of Friendships(12:00) Understanding Shallow vs. Deep Friendships(15:02) Finding Your Community and Dance Floor(16:29) Navigating Loneliness and Friendship(20:45) Conflict Resolution in Friendships(28:08) The Importance of Authentic ConnectionsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Grace ValentineThe Better Friend - Grace’s new bookA Million Tiny MomentsSky Ranch CampsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Depending on how old your kids are, the idea of praying for their future spouse and family may feel like a stretch. But even if your child is currently toddling around your house playing with blocks and eating cheerios, it’s never too early to start praying for their future family.Maybe it’s easier to imagine if your kids are older, but at some point in the future, your child will more than likely go and create their own family to lead. As believing parents, we all desire our kids to lead their future families in the way of the Lord.If marriage is God’s will for your child, someday your child’s spouse will be the most important person in their life. He or she will know them the absolute best and be their partner in faith and life. Together they will, God-willing, raise beautiful children who know, love, follow, and share Jesus. We can pray that our child will find a spouse who loves Jesus, family, the church, and be a supportive partner through the ups and downs of life. We can pray that any future grandkids will grow to love Jesus and continue on a legacy of faith. In the grand scheme of life, we only have our kids in our homes for a little while. As their parents, we have an amazing opportunity to pray for their future family starting now!This week, let’s pray that our kids will continue to pass along a legacy of faith in their future families and homes.Jesus, you know our past and you know our future. Today, I pray for ____'s future. If your plan for them is singleness, I pray that you will surround them with a wonderful community of friends and family and that you will always be their rock, fortress, and best friend. If your plan for them is marriage, I pray that they will find a spouse who loves you with all their heart and has a desire to raise up children who love and follow you. Thank you for the gift of family and the ability to watch my children grow into the adults you created them to be. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you spend time overthinking? I sure do, but can honestly say it’s gotten way better over the years. This episode is dedicated to my small group of senior girls. They were telling me that “overthinking” is taking them down for so many days. That conversation had me pondering about the topic and I wanted to help them with this struggle. So, I got Jon Acuff back on the podcast to help me wrestle through it.Jon Acuff writes the most relatable books with common struggles in our daily lives. He’s an entrepreneur, author, speaker, podcaster, husband and dad of 2 college girls. He’s also hilarious and always has me laughing every time we connect.My favorite part is how he gives us a very practical way to approach overthinking. Instead of letting this steal our time, creativity and productivity - what if we were deliberate with what we think about? Could we use that same time and energy to fight for positive thoughts over negative thoughts?He offered a code for his upcoming event In this episode, we chat about:How overthinking affects almost everyoneHow to switch overthinking to something positive How to shorten the pity parties in our mindsEnjoy!Courtney (03:08) The College Experience and Loneliness Epidemic(05:59) Overthinking: A Common Human Experience(08:55) The Dangers of Overthinking(11:56) Soundtracks: Shifting Negative Thoughts(15:07) Faith and Practicality in Overthinking(18:09) Navigating Teenage Emotions and Relationships(20:05) Understanding Teenagers: Insights from Parenting(22:10) Navigating the Empty Nest: Emotions and Realities(24:12) The Challenges of Parenting Adult Children(28:40) Creating a Remarkable Life: Upcoming Event InsightsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:A Million Tiny MomentsThe Unbreakable Boy movieConnect with Jon AcuffRemarkable You - upcoming event with Jon Acuff (code: PODCAST50)Soundtracks bookYour New Playlist book for teens How Teens Win book for teensPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2 NLT)On top of these difficult conversations, our kids are growing up in a world that increasingly values individual truth over God’s truth; a world where everyone is encouraged to “live their truth.” But, the Bible tells the story of God’s plan for his people; and as believers, we should use it to shape the way we see and interact with the world. That will often look different than other people around us. These changes in our world can make us feel really unprepared and afraid of the future. But, remember we serve a sovereign God who is always in control! He loves our kids even more than we do. We are not powerless as parents—we have the Holy Spirit in us. We can ask him to prompt our kids' hearts and we can commit to praying for them to treasure the Bible and find a true worldview and identity in Christ!This week, let’s pray that our kids live out a biblical worldview. In other words, let’s ask God to help them know the gospel, love the gospel, and that their lives would be completely changed by it!Dear God, help my child to hate sin and live a life of standing out and following you. Help them to find out what pleases you (Ephesians 5:10) and commit to following you wholeheartedly. Help them to love your word, hide your word in their heart, and let your word shape the way they live. Amen.Sadie Robertson Huff’s message on “your truth.”Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Did you know that Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network? There are 29 podcasts for Christian parents within our network. Our guest today, Jessica Hurlbut, is the co-host of the popular Full Spectrum Parents podcast, a faith-based podcast for parents who are raising kids with autism.I learned so much from Jessica today and I know you will too. Whether you are raising a child with autism, down syndrome, learning disability or any other special needs diagnosis - you will be so encouraged by her story.  Greg and Jessica Hurlbut are parents of five children: two autistic, two adopted, and one future president. Their heartfelt desire is to serve special needs families each week with a dose of help, a dose of humor, and a dose of hope. My favorite part is at the end when she encourages parents with a new diagnosis. As I think about what my sister has walked through with her son - I know she would echo what Jessica is sharing. She shares that all kids are a gift and that the pain and shock of the new diagnosis doesn’t last forever. In this episode, we chat about:How autism killed her perfectionismPublic perception of families with special needs (how to judge less)What all children want - no matter how their brain worksEncouragement for parents with a new diagnosisEnjoy!Courtney Chapters:(03:01) Life in Upstate New York(05:58) Family Dynamics and Motherhood Journey(09:03) Navigating Autism and Special Needs(11:59) Faith and Challenges in Parenting(14:59) The Role of Humor and Perspective in Parenting(18:14) The Journey of Seeking Solutions for Autism(20:11) A Shift in Perspective: From Fixing to Loving(22:34) Embracing Humility and the Gift of Children(24:46) Navigating Public Perception and Judgment(25:27) The Impact of Media on Parental Healing(28:15) Fostering Empathy in Children(30:18) The Importance of Compassion and Understanding(34:27) Words of Encouragement for New Parents(36:15) Finding Strength in God During Difficult TimesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:The Unbreakable Boy movieConnect with JessicaFull Spectrum Parents PodcastUnlimited Motherhood - Jessica’s bookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking” (James 1:5 NLT)The Bible tells us that God is generous in sharing his wisdom with us—all we have to do is ask for it. Even more, he won’t rebuke us or be disappointed in us when we ask for his wisdom, he wants to give it to us! (James 1:5). We should never be embarrassed to ask God for help or instructions!As Christians, we get to lean on the Holy Spirit and apply his wisdom to every area of our lives from how to treat people, how to spend our time, what activities to participate in, what movies to watch, what relationships to pursue, and how to best use our finances. God cares about every part of our lives and will give us the wisdom to navigate it all in a way that honors him. This week, let's ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom on how to best pray for our kids as they follow God. As our kids see us asking for wisdom, they will learn to do the same! Let's pray that our kids will seek God's wisdom through prayer, other discerning believers, and scripture.Lord, I pray that _________ would be quick to turn to you for wisdom whenever they need to make a decision, need comfort, or feel confused. In every area of their lives, I pray they depend on you. May they develop a hunger for wisdom and insight from you. May they always have the humility to know that your ways are better than their ways and that you want them to ask for help and guidance. Amen. Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you have daughters? Do you have some mom wounds? Are you facing some “mean girl” moments as you raise your daughters? Then, you cannot miss this one.I’m always amazed at the way Melanie Shankle cuts through the clutter of life and gets to the core of the issue. She’s one of my very favorite moms out there - I have always read her books, learned from her journey, admired her faith and soaked up her wisdom. It can be really tricky to walk through your own junk and past while raising your own kids. She gives very specific ways we can face our own struggles during your years as a mom. I am praying Melanie’s courage rubs off on all of us and we face some of our hardest moments and gain strength through that process.My favorite part is when Melanie talks about what she needed from her mom including stability and an environment where she could be herself. This really motivated me to think about how often I critique and pick at my girls. They need a home where they can be themselves without changing anything about them. In this episode, we discuss:How to recognize mean girl behaviorWhen to step in when your girl is being bulliedHow to heal from past wounds as a mom Parenting differently than your own mom Praying for you all as you process through your mom wounds and mean girl moments. God will meet you there! Let him heal the hurting places of your heart.Much love,Courtney (00:00) Puppy Love and Life with Dogs(06:00) Hard No's: Navigating Everyday Annoyances(12:01) Skincare Secrets: Affordable Beauty Tips(17:55) Mean Girls: Navigating Childhood Friendships(23:28) The Importance of Emotional Safety(29:35) Healing from Past Wounds(37:32) The Struggle as a Path to StrengthConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:The Unbreakable Boy movieConnect with MelanieHere Be Dragons - Melanie’s new bookAmerican Eagle - sweat pantEminence Vitamin C Extreme creamElastic skinMelanie’s Amazon ShopPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:11–12)Because we love our kids and want what’s best for them, we want them to grow up to be well-rounded, healthy, successful, godly people, so we establish boundaries in their lives and we reinforce them when they are broken. We explain why certain rules exist and how to act in social situations. We correct. We talk. We talk some more. We lose our cool. We say sorry. We hug. We discipline our kids. Because the Lord loves us and wants what’s best for us, he is constantly changing us and conforming us into the image of Christ through spiritual discipline because he wants us to become more and more like Jesus. God’s discipline is not meant to hurt us, it is never out of anger, and it’s not about perfect behavior; it is to protect us and grow our relationship with him. The Lord’s discipline is not to punish us, it is to transform us. Understanding this requires spiritual maturity in our kids that they will gain as they follow Jesus through their lives.So let’s pray that our kids will grow to see that God’s discipline in their lives is a wonderful part of following him—it means he is taking an active part in growing them to be more and more like him for his good purpose.Father God, you are a good father who loves your children. Thank you for calling ________ your child. Help them to see you as a father who disciplines out of love and care, not out of anger and rules.  You want what's best for your kids and you know how much sin hurts us, help them to experience the peace that comes from confession and forgiveness! Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy