Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you.” (Exodus 4:14)Aaron was chosen by God to support Moses in leading the Israelites out of Egypt. When Moses doubted his ability to speak, Aaron stepped in and delivered God’s messages to Pharaoh. He was Moses’s helper! He wasn’t the main leader, but his role was still important—he stood beside Moses, helped perform miracles, and guided the Israelites.Later, God appointed Aaron as the first high priest; he had a time to support, and he had a time to lead. We know Aaron wasn’t perfect; he made a lot of mistakes, but God allows us to keep serving him despite our mistakes because he is full of grace.It’s natural for our kids to want to be the star of the show: the leader of the friend group, the starting player on the team, first in band, line leader. But Aaron’s life reminds us that God values leaders and the people who support them. Your child will lead at times, of course, but there will also be times when they need to humbly and graciously stand by the side of another leader. Sometimes being a friend, encourager, and helper is just as important as being in charge.This week, let’s pray that our kids seek the Lord, not the spotlight. Let’s pray that our kids honor God by serving where he places them, knowing it’s where they are meant to be to make the biggest difference.Lord, help __________ have a heart like Aaron’s—a heart that serves, supports, and honors you. Help them to remember that they don’t need accolades from people, because those are just temporary. Instead, help them to use their gifts to glorify you in every role that you call them to. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You will recognize the last name “Shankle” because Melanie Shankle is a frequent guest on Pardon The Mess. Melanie is one of my favorite authors out there and it’s so fun to have her daughter, Caroline Shankle, on the podcast today.She is so delightful and gives such a great perspective of what it’s like to be a young girl learning hard lessons with God by your side. She reflects on “3 giants teens are facing today.” From “fitting in” to “comparison” to “believing God is who He said He is.” It is so helpful for me to hear these things from a young girl that is part of my daughter’s generation.My favorite part is when she shares about her journey with her faith. How God made it real to her during her college years. She thought she wasn’t good enough to have a strong faith. What an encouraging reminder to our teens that God wants them “just as you are.” Make sure you hug your teens today and remind them that their struggles are normal, validate their journey through difficult seasons, pray for them and remind them that God has them. And then send them this episode and let Caroline remind them that these giants don’t have the final say.Enjoy!CourtneyChapters(02:51) Life as a Grad Student and Author(05:46) The Journey to Writing a Book(08:40) Facing Giants: Fitting In and Comparison(11:40) Believing in God: A Personal Journey(14:30) Lessons from Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego(17:23) Appreciating Family and Personal Growth(20:170 Fun Questions and Closing ThoughtsPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with CarolineCaroline’s new book - The Lion and the Bear Melanie’s episode on Storytellers Live (watching Caroline struggle)Impact - A&M freshmen retreatMelanie Shankle on Pardon The MessHere Be Dragons by Melanie ShankleChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideChristian Parenting resources10 Questions SeriesPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. (Matthew 23:11–12 NLT)Moses’s life was full of ups and downs. But he is forever known as a great and humble leader. When Moses was born, Pharaoh had ordered all Hebrew baby boys to be killed, but God had a different plan for Moses’s life: He was saved by God’s plan and raised in Pharaoh’s palace. And in another turn of events, God called Moses to lead his people out of Egypt and out of slavery. Moses was a leader among the Israelites, and it cost him everything—his family, his lifestyle, his comfort, and his reputation.Moses was not always a confident leader; he initially doubted himself and asked God to send someone else. Someone more eloquent. Someone more prepared. Someone more capable. But the mission to free the Israelites wasn’t about Moses—it was about God.Humble leadership starts with putting God first and knowing that his power works through us. When we follow God, he directs our every step. God doesn’t call perfect leaders; he calls willing ones.Our kids may not lead a people group to freedom, but they will most likely have opportunities to stand up for what is right, help others, and lead others in the way of the Lord. They may feel unequipped at times, just like Moses did, but as parents, we can remind them that when God says go, we don’t say no—because he equips those he calls.This week, let’s pray that our kids grow to be leaders who rely on God’s strength before their own.God, I pray that __________ would be a faithful and humble leader who answers your call, follows you, and confidently relies on your strength to accomplish the tasks you set before them. When they feel unequipped or unprepared, remind them that you will give them all they need. Help them to take their focus off themselves and onto you and your power. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How are the habits of your family? How is your physical health? Mental health? Spiritual health? This is an episode that is so needed for couples. I would LOVE for you to listen with your spouse and then find time to discuss it.Justin Earley shares about this mental health breakdown as a young dad and how God brought him to this current place of healing. As you know, I have struggled with my health for many years and I needed every word of this episode. We talk about the necessary merging of our physical health and our spiritual health. He shares some common misconceptions, practical tips to feel better and patterns that could help turn your entire family towards health.My favorite part is when he talks about God’s grace and the reminder that it’s not too late. We can change the direction our family is headed. We can change the direction we are headed. It may be slow but it can happen. I am so thankful for Justin’s story and this unique way of sharing God’s truth with real life lessons.Enjoy!Courtney (02:57) Parenting Challenges and Prioritizing Family(05:40) The Impact of Work on Family Life(08:32) Mental Health and Parenting(11:27) Developing Healthy Habits(14:16) Spiritual and Physical Health Connection(17:08) The Role of Discipline in Parenting(19:58) The Importance of Self-Care(22:41) Miracles and Transformation(25:28) Conclusion and EncouragementPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Christian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideChristian Parenting resourcesConnect with JustinThe Body Teaches the Soul - newest bookHabits of the Household The Common RuleMade for People Podcast episode about Family Rhythms with the LyonsChoosing to Cheat by Andy StanleyPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises.I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart.Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together.I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:1–4 NLT)The story of Job is a tough story to read and process through. Why would God allow such immense suffering? Job was a righteous man and Satan knew it, so he challenged God and told him that Job would not continue to praise God if he took everything good away from him. Job lost his sheep, his servants, his kids, and his health. But Job continued to praise God. Despite his circumstances, he never stopped believing God was in control and would redeem his hurts.We want to protect our kids from hurt and loss. Even thinking of my kids suffering through extreme loss like Job makes my heart shatter. But the reality is that our kids will face some sort of loss. From small losses like not making the team to huge losses like the death of a loved one, each individual loss will feel like a hole in their heart. When they feel that, it is an opportunity for us to show them that faith in God is not about everything going right; it is about believing in his promises no matter what our circumstances are.It’s easy to love God when things are going right. Every good and perfect gift is from above, so we should praise God for all the good things he gives us. But God does not deserve our praise just because he blesses us, God deserves our praise because he saved us. God’s character remains the same regardless of our circumstances, so we can praise God for who he is, no matter what we are going through.This week, let’s pray that our kids turn to God when things get hard and know that he is continually working for good in their lives, even if they can’t see it.Jesus, you are good all the time. Please comfort __________ when they seem to be in an unending season of struggle like Job. And even in times of trouble and distress, I pray that __________ will praise you, knowing that your ways are not our ways, and your time is not our time, but you are always good and always with us. May they grow up to be a person who praises you in word and action through their entire life. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I believe the key to parenting, marriage and life is this topic right here - intimacy with God. Are we spending time with God? How do we do this as moms? What if we tried and it's too hard? It can be so intimidating to learn about “quiet times” and “prayers.” We are joined today by author, speaker and Bible teacher Stacey Thacker. I love her heart for God’s word and prayer. She gives us so many practical and biblical reasons to make this a priority. If you have a mentor (or are a mentor), you can use this episode and the show notes below to easily start a conversation. This is a topic worth discussing and will impact every area of your life.My favorite part is when Stacey reminds us that the point of getting in God’s word, is that God’s word gets into us. It really doesn’t matter how we do it - just that we are doing it. Let’s do this together this month and memorize Hebrews 12:1-3. Who is in? Put it on a post-it and hide that word in your heart. Enjoy!CourtneyMY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (INTIMACY WITH GOD)Scripture to memorize:Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)Scriptures for prayer and study:Matthew 6:33Psalms 46:10 Colossians 3:16Books for further study:A place of quiet rest – Nancy Leigh DemossDiscerning the Voice of God – Priscilla ShirerWomen of the Word – Jen WilkinPracticing the Way – John Mark ComerDiscussion questions: What is your story of faith? How long have you been walking with God? What habits and disciplines help increase your intimacy with God? What are some practical tips for getting time with God?(00:00) Reconnecting and Family Dynamics(02:43) The Importance of Community and Mentorship(05:42) Quiet Time: Nurturing Your Relationship with God(11:25) The Power of Prayer in Difficult Times(17:20) Praying for Our Children: Strategies and InsightsPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with Stacey Threadbare Prayer Praying for Teen GirlsPraying for Teen BoysThe Holderness Family - Open Door, Not Empty NestPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. (Genesis 50:20 NLT)Joseph had every reason to be angry and bitter at the world. His brothers picked on him, tricked him, and sold him into slavery. He was taken to Egypt where he was eventually imprisoned for something he didn’t even do. It would have been easy for Joseph to call life unfair and give up. But God gifted him the ability to interpret dreams, and Joseph used that gift to help himself and help others. He was raised up as a leader in Egypt and he saved many lives from famine—including the lives of his brothers.Practically speaking, we want our kids to use their giftings to help themselves: to excel in school, relationships, sports, music, jobs, etc. We know that when our kids lean into how God made them, they will thrive. But we also want them to use those gifts to expand God’s kingdom and help others. Joseph’s brothers meant to harm him, but they couldn’t outdo what God had planned: God planned to use Joseph for good.God made each of us, including our kids, perfectly and wonderfully with spiritual gifts to use for a good purpose. When we see those giftings in our kids, we have the privilege of encouraging them and building them up! Helping our kids discover and use their spiritual gifts well will help them see the bigger picture of how they fit into God’s kingdom.This week, let’s pray that our kids use the gifts that God has given them for the purpose he calls them to.Jesus, help us to see the spiritual gifts you have given __________ and build them up in those giftings. As they grow up, I pray they use their gifts to help others, help themselves, and bless you. Remind them that you use every circumstance for good, and mercy and goodness are the right choice, even when it’s hard to see. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you have a child that is wrestling with their faith? Or maybe you fear this scenario with your little ones? What if they grow up and deny their faith or doubt God? What you will hear today through Alena’s story is that God is faithful. She is confident in that truth after a 7-year wrestling period with God.Alena’s quest to know God helped her to know herself in a foundational way. This conversation not only helped me as a mom, but as a follower of Christ. Alena is a creative, author, speaker, actor and more who is wise beyond her years. She always makes me think in a new and fresh way.My favorite part honestly is when she talks about the “ick” of women’s conferences. I could not get it together from laughing. She reminds me so much of her late mother Wynter Pitts. She is refreshingly honest, true to herself, wise and hilarious. You will be encouraged to be patient with the wrestling periods of your own faith and your children’s faith. You will hear practical ways to support your children during their doubts.Be sure to check out her new devotional, God Is, available now for teen and young women.Enjoy!Courtney(00:00) The Emotional Journey of College Transition(02:59) Wrestling with Faith and Identity(05:48) Understanding God Through Personal Struggles(08:29) Navigating Parent-Child Relationships(11:26) Experiencing God's Presence in Grief(14:15) The Importance of Knowing God(17:08) Hearing from God in Everyday Life(19:51) Creative Pursuits and Personal Growth(22:44) The Impact of 'For Girls Like You' MagazineConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:God Is - Alean’s new devotionalFor Girls Like YouAfrica New LifePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3–5)Jacob fought and wrestled and did things his own way his entire life: He grabbed his twin brother’s heel as he was being born and then stole that same brother’s birthright. He was so angry that he left town. Talk about sibling rivalry! Years later when Jacob decided to return home, he came across a mysterious man and wrestled him all night. Jacob refused to quit until he received a blessing. Little did he know the man he was wrestling with was God. God changed his name to Israel—meaning one who struggles with God.Jacob was changed in that moment. He went from living life for himself to depending on God. He went from wrestling with God to clinging to him.Faith isn’t always easy. Our kids will face struggles, and they will try to do things their own way! Toddlers and teenagers alike notoriously doubt their parents’ abilities to know what is best and right at times. There will also be times when they doubt God’s ability to know what is best, wrestle with their understanding of him, or even try to live independently of him.Questions are a natural part of making faith your own. God welcomes our questions, our struggles, and even our doubts—they do not scare him! Instead, he meets us in them and draws us closer to him. As parents, we don’t have to be afraid of our kids’ questions either. It does us well to remember that faith is not linear and our kids will have many ups and downs as they journey through their lives of faith.This week, let’s pray that our kids persevere in their faith, that they go to God to get answers to their questions when they inevitably have doubts, and that they surrender to him instead of fighting against him.Jesus, I pray that ________ will lead a life of faith. Knowing there will be ups and downs and seasons of questions and doubts, I pray they will be confident going to you with all their feelings, questions and emotions. May they always remember that wrestling is worth it for a relationship with you. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. (It also makes a wonderful gift for grandparents or friends!) And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Buckle in for a fantastic and thought-provoking chat with author and speaker Vicki Courtney. Have you ever heard the phrase, “motherhood is your highest calling” ? Did you believe it? And do you agree with it?I love that Vicki is looking back as a grandmother and assessing this common phrase and belief that impacted her motherhood journey. She wants to help our generation properly grapple with our highest calling. She believes motherhood is a high calling but not THE highest calling. And there is a difference. This statement isn’t just about semantics. If we believe motherhood is our highest calling, then the way we parent is informed and impacted by that belief. That belief ushers in perfectionism and pressure that’s not manageable. I loved this conversation and mindset shift - not just for myself but for my daughters. Let’s look to scripture and make sure we are all on the same page - that our highest calling is actually not motherhood.My favorite part is when Vicki talks about the trap of comparison at the end. She helps us dial down the guilt and increase the freedom that is found in Jesus. I am grateful for the encouragement and teaching of Vicki Courtney. Her work has mattered to me at every phase of motherhood. Enjoy! Courtney (00:00) Reconnecting and Reflecting on the Past(04:49) The Journey of Motherhood and Writing(09:36) Rethinking Motherhood as a Calling(14:06) The Pressure of Perfectionism in Parenting(19:02) Finding Balance and Freedom in Motherhood(23:41) Embracing Identity Beyond MotherhoodPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with VickiMotherhood is not your highest calling by Vicki CourtneySubscribe to Christian Parenting’s Friday FavoritesPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy