Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Have you ever heard the term “mental load” as it relates to what we carry as moms? It's the same as carrying every single thing up the stairs as your arms give way to the overload. Our minds do the same. We just snap because our minds aren’t meant to carry so much. So what do we do? How do we keep our care and responsibility high for our kids without drowning?I was delighted to talk about this issue with Emily Jensen, founder of Risen Motherhood. She’s a mom of 5, author, speaker, podcaster and has so much encouragement and practical tips for us.Mother’s Day is this week and I want to challenge us. If you have some expectations or needs for what you need for that day - would you tell your spouse? Or family? Or children? This will help the day to be much smoother! My favorite part is when she shares about her recent decision to walk away from a big part of her ministry at Risen Motherhood. She put everything before the Lord and asked Him to confirm which things should go in this season. Wow! What a brave thing to do and I can’t wait to see how He honors her with letting go of something so close to her heart.Happy Mother’s Day beautiful moms! You are so loved by God. You are doing a phenomenal job or raising your kids. Giving you a huge Texas hug!Much love,Courtney(02:50) The Mission Behind 'A Million Tiny Moments'(06:04) Understanding the Mental Load in Motherhood(09:05) Strategies to Alleviate the Mental Load(11:54) Long-Term vs. Short-Term Parenting Goals(14:53) Finding Clarity Through Prayer and Decision-Making(16:49) Navigating Life's Seasons(21:27) Alleviating the Mental Load(25:58) Empowering Kids with Responsibility(28:15) Managing Expectations for Mother's Day(32:31) Finding Peace in MotherhoodConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with EmilyRisen MotherhoodA Million Tiny Moments - new book by Emily JensenMoms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuideNIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8 NLT)How do we reconcile fairness in a world that is unjust and broken? I always tell my kids, fair does not mean equal. We can’t make everything fair in the world because fairness is how we are treated individually and everyone’s wants, situations, and abilities are different. Justice goes deeper than fairness. Justice is about what we deserve and we all deserve the same things. In the Bible, justice means everyone—the poor, the widows, the orphans, the immigrants, are cared for just like everyone else. Scripture calls us to care for these people, but that might seem really abstract to kids. So, we can teach our kids that seeking justice means including the kid with learning differences in class projects. Making sure the lonely kid is invited to the party. And it can mean standing up for what is right when someone is being wronged, bullied, or picked on. Actively seeking justice looks like our kids being a peacemaker instead of a peacekeeper and sometimes that is hard! But we are promised that the peacemakers will be called sons and daughters of God! This week, let’s pray that our kids share God’s heart for others in the way they treat people around them. Let’s pray that our kids’ hearts break for what breaks God’s and that they see injustice in the world and have the courage and faith to stand up to it.God, I pray that _______________ will see what is right, love what is right, and humbly do what is right in your name. In an unjust world, I pray that _____________ will seek justice in all situations. When they see someone being mistreated, give them the courage to step in. When they see the opportunity to help, give them the ability to do so. I pray that as they grow they see injustices beyond their small communities and in the greater world and do what is in their power to right them. Amen.https://churchonthemove.com/pursuing-justicePrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

They are back! Sissy Goff and David Thomas are back to equip us with “3 core needs for every kid.” They are always so encouraging and so very practical. The work they have done in their counseling offices has helped thousands of parents just like me. I cling to their perspective and biblical encouragement. We talk about our kids’ need for resilience, courage and relationship. We also talk about the health benefits for your kids when they have a dog. I couldn't agree more and I was the most anti-dog person in our family until we got our dog. And if you want to go watch this one on YouTube - you’ll see a cute appearance by Sissy’s dog, Patches.My favorite part was when they shared about our kids’ need for connection more than correction. I am so guilty of critiquing my kids and I can see their little faces sink when I do that. This is a huge reminder for us all to fight for connection instead of staying stuck in a loop of critique. What would the little kid in you want from your parents? Let’s stay alert this week and catch ourselves when we lead with criticism. In this episode, we discuss: Health benefits of kids having a dogResilience and taking healthy risks How to speak courage into the lives of our kidsHow to prioritize relationships Enjoy!Courtney (02:59) Core Needs for Kids: The Importance of Dogs(06:04) The Role of Courage in Child Development(12:01) Healthy Risk Taking in Children(17:59) Building Relationships and Social Skills(23:57) Conclusion and Resources for ParentsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Sissy and DavidDaystar Counseling Daystar dogs - new books – Owen Learns He Has What It Takes and Lucy Learns to Be BraveAnxious GenerationMoms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuidePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32)Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” It means that we see someone’s pain or needs and we want to help them. Jesus shows compassion over and over through scripture. We don’t need to be afraid of stepping into someone’s suffering with them. Entering into that does not mean we take on their burdens or pain, it means we offer relief and love in any way we can. But no matter how we can help others or how others can help us, Jesus is always overflowing with compassion and with us in all our sufferings. This week, let’s pray that our kids share compassion with others. Let’s ask God to give them the eyes to see the needs around them and the compassion to move to action.Jesus, help us to be more and more like you every day. I pray that _____________ grows to be filled with compassion. May their hearts overflow with compassion, just like yours does, when they see needs around them. May they step into the suffering of others knowing that you are there too. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Get ready to laugh! We all need some more Melissa Radkes in our lives. Melissa is not just funny - she’s a mom that is immensely talented. She’s a best-selling author, speaker and television personality. She reminds me of Seinfeld in the ways she observes everyday life and finds the amusement in it all.I don’t know about you, but I need to have moments in my everyday life to simply lighten up and enjoy it. This episode will allow you to pause and enjoy a chat about all things women. She shares the most hysterical stories about growing up in the South while also sharing heartfelt thoughts on her journey as a mom. She is simply delightful! Don’t miss her heartfelt and honest encouragement about learning to accept who you are. She is at a point in her life where she feels settled in her body and personality. However, there was a season when she prayed to be someone else. I pray that last little bit will encourage you in a deep way. Let the truth of what she says sink into your heart – that the God who created you loves exactly who you are.Much love,Courtney Chapters(03:01) Navigating Life in Texas(05:51) Graduation and College Preparations(08:56) The Importance of Female Friendships(12:02) The Impact of Women in Our Lives(14:56) Preparing for College Life(17:58) Facing Loneliness in College(18:16) Shared Experiences and Humor in Childhood(20:21) Nostalgic Family Memories and Food Traditions(23:51) The Role of Food in Family Dynamics(26:18) Finding One's Identity and Acceptance(30:01) Embracing Authenticity and Personal Growth(32:53) The Joy of Laughter and ConnectionConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with Melissa Radke Chicken-Fried Women - Melissa’s new book Mom’s, Dad’s and Grad’s Gift GuidePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” (Mark 11:25 NLT)Forgiveness is an art. We coach our kids to forgive others by modeling confession and forgiveness ourselves and by using their sibling conflicts as examples, but it takes a long time and a lot of patience. Few things are as frustrating as one child giving an apathetic, “I’m sorry” paired with an eye roll.But forgiveness is so important because it is one of the main themes of the gospel and it’s such a powerful way to share God’s love and grace with the people around us. Just as Christ forgave us of our sins, we must forgive others! James 2:17 goes so far as to tell us that faith without deeds is dead—meaning faith that does not produce good fruit is not faith at all. So if we claim to follow Jesus, we must follow his example of forgiving others! So it is really important that our kids learn to forgive others well. God made forgiveness an important command and the cool thing is, he did not do it haphazardly. Forgiving others releases us from grudges and resentment, but forgiveness is also good for your mental and physical health! I love the way God cares for us so intentionally! Luckily, we don’t have to forgive on our own. We can ask God for strength to help us forgive others, the way that he has forgiven us. This week, let’s pray that our kids will generously forgive others and reconcile broken relationships. Lord, I pray that ____________sees forgiveness and reconciliation at home and learns to do it well. May they experience a holy unrest when they sin, may they freely confess, and seek to reconcile. When others offend them, may they be quick to forgive and offer mercy. I pray they are a model of forgiveness within their friend groups so that they can show Christ’s example of forgiveness and grace to those around them. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you have a tween? This episode is for YOU! Jonathan is one of my very favorite dads on the planet. He’s a pastor, husband, dad of one young adult, 3 teens and a one year old! You’ve heard him on Pardon The Mess before with his beautiful wife Peta Pitts as they have navigated loss together. Alena Pitts is Jonathan’s oldest daughter and someone I admire and respect so much. This father-daughter conversation is incredibly rich and entertaining. Today’s episode is a very practical one. Alena and Jonathan offer 3 ways we can help our tweens thrive. Alena offers a unique perspective as the oldest child in the family. She looks back at what she appreciated most. Jonathan brings perspective of raising his four daughters while also managing a ministry specifically for tween girls.My favorite part is towards the end when Jonathan encourages us to lay down all the pressures and stuff that is fleeting. How we can continue to prioritize the relationship with our kids over all the things that are fleeting. In this episode we chat about:Practical ways to help your teens thriveParenting introverted kids vs extrovertedWays to own your role as a parent in their spiritual developmentEnjoy!Courtney(00:00) Navigating Newlywed Life(03:01) The Joys of Parenting(06:19) The Importance of Family Devotions(09:48) Supporting Tweens in Community(14:43) Building Connections Through Shared Stories(18:16) The Role of Parents in Child Development(20:10) Instilling Truth and Sound Doctrine(25:48) The Importance of Fun and Lightheartedness(32:19) Encouragement for Stressed ParentsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with AlenaConnect with JonathanFor Girls Like You - magazine and resources for tween girlsJonathan and Peta Pitts episode Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuideEnjoy 20% off the For girls Like You Magazine subscription by using code: pardonthemess.Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?’” (John 11:25–26)I cannot imagine a more disheartening period than the time between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The Jewish people waited so long for a Messiah and Jesus’ disciples found him and followed him! They dropped their entire lives to learn from him and spread his message. And then, in their lack of understanding, they watched him die on the cross and buried him. Can you imagine the defeat?But as Bob Goff says, “Darkness fell, His friends scattered, hope seemed lost - But heaven just started counting to three.”The good news of Easter is that there is life and hope after death! Just when the disciples surely thought maybe they were wrong or maybe they misunderstood, Jesus rose. Friday and Saturday were hard, but Sunday redeemed it all. We talk about it so often nowadays that sometimes the miracle of it all is lost on us. But let’s not forget: God loved the world so much that even though it was broken, he made a plan to save it by sending his son for us. All we have to do is believe in that and we are saved. It’s the simplest, yet most beautiful message of hope for everyone. If your child has not accepted Jesus as savior, let’s pray for that this week. If they have, let’s pray they deepen their relationship with him and share his good news!So as we prepare for Easter, let’s pray that our kids are people who know and share the good news that when all else seems hopeless, hope lives.Father God, thank you for sending your son to die on the cross for our sin. I pray that ____________ will accept Jesus as their savior and cling to the hope that he provides. May _______________ be a messenger of the good news of the gospel to everyone that they meet. Amen.Why is the gospel good newsWhy share the good newsGet your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you ever felt like you are too far gone? That some things in your life are too broken for God to fix? In this week’s episode with Meshali - we start out talking ranch and pimento cheese and then dive into the freedom that she has experienced with her painful story and God’s glory. Meshali is a photographer, speaker, author, amazing aunt and friend to many. Dive in and enjoy a really honest chat about restoration. When you meet Meshali, you might assume she’s always been so lighthearted and delightful and full of smiles and joy. What many don’t know is that this famous photographer has a really hard story. In today’s episode, she gets real and honest about her past - from abuse to a child of divorce to many seasons of depression and insecurity.If we are honest, there are places deep in our heart that we have tucked away assuming they are just too broken. I wanted you to hear from a girl that decided it was time for change. She decided to partner with God on a mission for more. God restored her heart as she restored her 1800s home and together they went room by room to find freedom, healing and joy.My favorite part is when she gives some practical tips for those parents in the midst of divorce. Meshali is incredibly wise and one of the most authentic and hopeful believers I have ever met. I know you will enjoy her as much as I do. I am praying you feel a deep sense of hope and courage as she shares her story.In this episode, we discuss:Unraveling lies and finding freedomHer insight as a child of divorcePractical steps to find restoration and healingPartnering with God in the most painful parts of your storyEnjoy!Courtney (02:59) Food Favorites and Personal Connections(05:59) The Journey of Healing and Restoration(08:57) Childhood and Family Background(12:01) Struggles with Identity and Healing(14:49) The Process of Home Restoration(17:55) Community and Support in Healing(20:26) Unraveling Lies and Finding Freedom(21:31) The Journey of Healing and Restoration(25:30) Experiencing True Joy and Freedom(28:12) The Power of Restoration for Everyone(30:05) Navigating Divorce and Supporting Children(32:23) Practical Steps to Begin Healing(38:44) A Prayer for Restoration and HealingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with MeshaliRestored, Partnering with God in Transforming Our Broken Places - Meshali’s new book (out April 15)Episode with Heather on Healing PrayersAdventure BibleUntriggeredMoms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuidePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God” (2 Corinthians 9:11)Jesus gave his life so that we could live ours fully and God wants us to give and give generously and joyfully as a response to that. Generosity is more than giving money, especially for our kids! We can and should give generously with our talents and time as well. It may feel small to help greet people at church, mow a neighbor’s lawn, open up your home to others, or pack shoeboxes at Christmastime, but all those small acts of generous service transform hearts and honor God.As you pray generosity over your kids this week, I encourage you to make a list of the things you and your family can do together to give generously and share the love of Jesus. Maybe it’s a financial goal for a donation, one service project a month, or stepping up to serve at church. Whatever it is that you decide, do so joyfully together. Remember, the gospel is more about giving than receiving, so let’s pray that our kids’ lives reflect that and that they will learn to love sharing.Lord, we are blessed to be a blessing. I pray that _________ would be known for generosity their entire lives. Whether it is giving financially, giving with time, or giving with talents and resources, I pray that they give cheerfully because of the gift that you give us: the gift of life. As a family, may we be on the lookout for ways we can be generous together. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy