Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

We’ve got another great episode here at Pardon The Mess with Jessica Robertson. In this conversation, Jessica shares about her journey of faith, family and the importance of adoption. She reflects on her upbringing in a Christian home, the legacy of her father-in-law Phil Robertson, and the values instilled in her family.Jessica discusses the emotional journey of adopting her son and the challenges and joys that come with it. I loved hearing her heart for adoption and how that has impacted her own faith.My favorite part is at the end when she shares about what God is teaching her in motherhood right now. He has been pressing on her to slow down and enjoy the kids at every phase. That is a great challenge for this week. How can we slow down? Can we hug a little longer, stay at the park a little longer or linger at the kitchen table? Let’s not be so rushed that we miss moments with the gifts from above - our children.Does everyone have their Prayer Journal? I’m excited to pray together through this school year. Join me!Enjoy!Courtney(00:00) Introduction and Family Background(05:45) The Journey of Adoption(11:15) Challenges and Joys of Parenting an Adopted Child(16:31) The Heart of Adoption and Fostering(21:27) Dear Valor: A Story of Adoption(26:56) The Power of a Mother's Love and PresenceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with JessicaJep and Jess Growing the DynastyDear Valor - her newest bookBrave BooksAll God’s ChildrenFoster VillageCamp WinshapeBrave BooksPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

One of our listeners reached out about her need for resources for her blended family. I am so glad she did! This episode is for all of those navigated blended families and stepfamilies. I learned so much through this chat with Ron Deal and hope we all lean in to gather more understanding of all of God’s beautiful families. Ron L. Deal is a bestselling author, licensed marriage & family therapist, podcaster, and popular conference speaker who conducts “laugh and learn” marriage and family seminars and professional training around the country and online. He specializes in both marriage enrichment and stepfamily education.Frequently featured in the national media, Ron has worked full-time in marriage and family ministry since 1988 serving in both local churches and with FamilyLife®. He currently serves as President of Smart Stepfamilies™ and Senior Director of FamilyLife Blended®, a division of FamilyLife®. He is the most widely read and viewed author on blended families in the country.My favorite part is how Ron shares the complex nature of blended families but also gives hope! He reminds us that God is in this process and for your families. He also encourages parents to have patience for the timing of it all. Don’t give up! Enjoy!Courtney (0:00 - 2:00)Introduction to Ron Deal(2:01 - 10:00) The Complexity of Blended Families (10:01 - 18:00) Patience and Time in Family Bonding (18:01 - 25:00) Resources for Step-Parents (25:01 - 32:00) Ron’s Personal Journey (32:01 - 40:00) Mindful Marriage Book Discussion (40:01 - End) Closing Thoughts and Call to Action Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with RonSmart Stepfamilies - books and resourcesSmart Stepfamilies - find a counselor Family Life BlendedThe Mindful Marriage - new book and conferencesRight Now MediaRachel & Rod Brown with Ron Deal (Family Life interview)Clear Focus Bible for KidsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you have a daughter or son headed off to college or maybe a high school senior? This episode is for you! I gathered three college sophomores and asked them all the questions. What are your dorm tips? Study tips? Rush tips? Now, these are three girls. So, I imagine we need to do another episode with some guys - because their perspective would be different. However, so much of what they shared is universal and helpful to all.Camryn, Caroline and Lucy offered such amazing encouragement for college kids on how to keep their faith a priority. I loved how they gave very practical tips from finding a mentor, finding a church, getting coffee with new friends and making a choice to spend time with God.My favorite part is when they share about what they appreciate about their moms. It’s so fun to hear from the mouths of grown kids what mattered in their lives. I pray that it will encourage you to keep loving God and loving your kids well. (00:00) Introduction and Dorm Essentials(05:40) Study Tips for College Success(11:28) Navigating Rush: Tips and Insights(17:02) Maintaining Faith in College(22:49) Appreciating Parents and Their InfluenceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources MentionedSchool SimplifiedOverwhelmed MomBrave BooksOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We made it to the end of the Empty Nester Wisdom series! If you missed any of these episodes, I encourage you to go back and be sure you have a notebook. Each guest brought such wisdom and godly encouragement for all seasons of parenting, but especially the empty nest season.I’m so grateful for these women and the timing of this series. God knew I needed these chats just before I send Ella off to college. Today’s guest is a dear friend and a trusted pastor of mine - Heidi Miller. She has been in ministry over 20 years and is currently serving as the Next Steps Pastor at my church, Compass Church. In this week’s episode, she shares about her journey with anxiety and what God has taught her through it all. Whether your child is headed to pre-K or college or their first job, it is so easy to lay awake at night and just marinate in the worry. Heidi gives us such practical ways we can power through anxiety with God by our side. He has met her in anxiety through worship, prayer and community. My favorite part is when she circles back to remind us all - that the thing she worried about most with Carlee was the very thing God used to transform her life. Praying you find deep encouragement and practical support today with this episode.Enjoy Courtney (00:00) Navigating Empty Nesting and Friendship(02:42) Understanding Anxiety in Parenting(05:31) The Journey of Acknowledging Anxiety(08:31) Finding God's Voice Amidst Anxiety(11:27) Practical Steps to Combat Anxiety(14:14) The Power of Community and Prayer(15:31) Navigating Parenting Challenges(19:08) The Importance of Prayer and Community(21:54) Surrendering to God at Night(24:49) Building Faith Through Everyday Moments(28:40) Creating a Welcoming Home for OthersConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with HeidiCompass ChurchSisterhood/Mentor Event at Compass Christy Nockels - King Who Never SleepsWorship Playlist by Heidi and CourtneyLectio 365Adventure BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Wendy Blight is a passionate woman of God that has written numerous Bible studies and books to equip us as believers. She is on staff at Proverbs 31 and has encouraged and equipped countless moms through her career. This episode will feel like a warm embrace that only God can give. Wendy has a unique gift of bringing grace, authentic support and deep encouragement wherever she goes. We need that as moms because we can be so hard on ourselves. This episode will leave you feeling really seen and really encouraged - no matter how it’s going at your house. I loved how we ended with God’s word and how to make time for it. She offers grace yet again by recognizing the various seasons of motherhoods. If you have littles, getting a shower can feel daunting. So listen in as she shares some tips on staying close to God in every season of motherhood.Enjoy!Courtney(00:00) Introduction and Family Background(02:58) Wendy's Journey with Proverbs 31 Ministries(05:51) Navigating the Empty Nest Phase(08:32) The Importance of Communication and Apologies(11:33) Maintaining Relationships with Adult Children(14:16) Understanding Different Beliefs in Parenting(17:13) Lessons from Motherhood and Prayer(20:03) Reading the Bible in Different Seasons(22:47) Addressing Anxiety and Mental Health(25:42) Encouragement for Moms Facing Challenges(28:26) Closing Thoughts and PrayerConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoA GREAT CLOUD OF WITNESSES PRAYER JOURNALResources from today’s show:Connect with Wendy BlightRest for your soul by Wendy BlightProverbs 31 MinistriesFirst 5Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy Summer folks!This is the first episode in this series that I did not cry. You’re welcome. I wanted to get super practical with this one and asked Chrystal Hurst Evans to bring her best empty nest tips for us. She shares about ways we can start training and teaching our kids to live without us. From budgeting to cooking - she explains that much of this training happens well before their senior year. It’s a mindset shift earlier that helps make us all ready for those launching years.As a writer, speaker and gatherer, Chrystal has a massive passion for women and how to get us up and moving towards goals. She is that “you can do it” friend that will light a fire under your overwhelmed body. My favorite is when she shares about how to be a student of yourself. She reminds us that we each have massive skills and gifts from God and we often need our circle of friends to point those out. As moms, we often lose confidence in our skills and it can cause fear as the kids leave the home. What will I do now? Do I have what it takes to change directions or careers now that my time is more flexible? Praying this episode greatly encourages you and provides practical ways to equip you and your family for a new season.In this episode, we chat about:  Drawing boundaries with adult kidsTeaching financial responsibility Learning yourself again - gifts, passions and skillsPrioritizing prayer as you have less control Enjoy!Courtney (00:00) Introduction and Personal Background(03:03) Navigating the Challenges of Parenting(05:45) Building a Business with Family(08:50) Preparing for Empty Nesting(11:42) The Importance of Early Independence(14:29) Rediscovering Personal Passions(17:24) Recognizing Transferable Skills(19:37) The Journey of Self-Discovery(22:51) Embracing Change in Marriage(30:17) Faith and the Empty Nest ExperienceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with Chrystal Join the Sister Circle100 Days to Discovering the Gift of You - Chrystal’s latest bookChristian Parenting ProductsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We have another great episode in the Empty Nester Wisdom series with Empty Nest Coach and host of the Midlife Momma Podcast, Pamela Henkelman. It was so fun to watch her soar in this conversation and it’s clear she has a passion in this phase of motherhood.Pamela shares that this is a very sweet time of life that we can enjoy. We don’t need to dread this transition. It’s a season where we can rediscover our purpose and our joy. I know she will get you excited to look ahead to this new phase with excitement not dread.My favorite part is when she talks about her intentional thinking around relationships. She doesn’t just prioritize the relationship with her kids, she aims at loving their spouses well. Even if you’re 10 years out from being an “in-law,” tuck away this wisdom from a seasoned mom that is running her empty nest race well.In this episode, we chat about:Allowing children to grow independentlyConnecting with their spousesChoosing your words wisely with adult childrenLetting go of expectations with holidaysEnjoy!Courtney Chapters(00:00) Introduction and Personal Connections(02:57) Transitioning to Empty Nest Coaching(05:55) Navigating Relationships with Adult Children(08:57) Setting Boundaries with Adult Children(11:58) The Role of Spouses and In-Laws(15:00) Rediscovering Identity in Midlife(18:01) Embracing New Opportunities(20:49) Creating a Welcoming Home Environment(24:03) Success Stories and Client Transformations(26:46) Conclusion and ResourcesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeo2025-2026 Prayer Journal: A Great Cloud of WitnessesResources from today’s show:Connect with Pamela HenkelmanFree! 10 things NOT to say to your adult childSheepgate - addiction recovery in IowaPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy Summer friends!We are continuing our series, Empty Nester Wisdom, with my friend Amy Fenton. Amy is a mom to three grown kids and she’s been serving in children’s ministry for over 30 years. She has a passion for equipping the local church and the young children that come into those doors. Amy talks about raising three kids (two boys) as a single mom and how the local church supported them along the way. She had a desire for her boys to be influenced by strong Christian men - and she can look back now and see God’s faithfulness. I pray through this episode that many feel called to step into volunteering for kids and students at your local church. It matters!I loved her encouragement about finding a church that your kids actually enjoy. It may take sacrifice on your part, but consider prioritizing their needs in a church community when they are so young. I loved this practical yet profound advice for us all!In this episode, we chat about:Asking for help as a single momHow to find a local church Importance of role models our kids’ livesHow to support your children’s ministries Enjoy!Courtney Chapters:(01:24) Journey in Children's Ministry(02:46) The Importance of Volunteer Engagement(05:22) The Role of Community in Child Development(08:34) Finding the Right Church Environment(11:24) Balancing Parental Guidance and Faith(15:35) Reflections on Parenting and Counseling(17:07) Starting the Journey: Finding Support for Mental Health(19:01) Building a Supportive Community for Children(21:42) The Myth of the Parenting Checklist(22:54) The Role of Parents in Church Involvement(26:00) Rediscovering Self in the Empty Nest(29:07) Encouragement for Single MomsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Amy (amy@thinkorange.com)Curriculum at Think Orange Amazing Life Foundation Cross Point ChurchRaising Boys and GirlAmy’s episode on Raising Boys and GirlsHow to find a counselor for my child Christian Parenting ProductsPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We have a rock star mom on the podcast today! Susan Peterson is a mom I have looked up to for years. She’s the co-founder of Relish, board member for Young Life and longtime volunteer serving Passion City Church and Illuminations. And fun little fact, she is the reason my little “ABC Scripture Cards” hit the market over 13 years ago.There are many parts of this I want every mom to hear, but make sure you hear her approach to the emotions of the empty nest stage. She didn’t think she would be sad when her kids left the home and was surprised by the mourning. She gives us permission to stop and feel it. Don't miss her advice to take the time to ask God what is next and take the time to mourn the season that you loved so much. I also loved her challenge to stop and thank God for the gift of being a mom and having kids in your home.Susan’s family has always traveled the globe serving God. As you will hear towards the end, she said that getting her kids out of their country was one of the best decisions they made. They were able to see God at work in the world. It changed each of them. So inspiring!I know you will absolutely enjoy this jewel of a human. Susan is a treasure and I’m delighted to share her words with you today. Praying you feel Jesus pour right through every minute.Enjoy,Courtney (00:55) The State of Bible Translation(03:09) Navigating the Empty Nest(06:12) Finding Identity After Parenting(08:56) The Balance of Parenting and Faith(14:03) Lessons Learned from Parenting(18:02) Encouragement for Younger Moms(22:04) Final Thoughts and ResourcesConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with SusanRelishDottie CollectionYoung LifeIlluminations12 Verse ChallengeFirst episode with Jennifer on PTM Support Christian Parenting NIV Application BiblePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We have Sharon Mankin back on the podcast! You all loved her wisdom and practical help the last time she was on the podcast. From the first minute to the end, you can see why Sharon is a coach to many women. She has empathy, understanding and practical tools to help us navigate challenging seasons. This conversation is helpful to all moms in all seasons who want to “let go” of their kids in a healthy way. I am a lifelong learner and I crave wisdom from women that are ahead of me in their journey. If you are heading into the empty nester season, you will be extra encouraged by her insight, stories and tips. She reminds us that we can discover purpose beyond our parenting role. She reminds us that God is not done with us! My favorite part is towards the end when she shares about how to know when to step in and when to stay calm and let our adult kids walk through their struggles. I will treasure this advice ahead of Ella’s college years. In this episode, we discuss:Navigating empty nest stageEmotional journey of letting goHow to recalibrate our expectationsHow to discover purpose beyond parentingEnjoy!Courtney (03:06) Navigating the Empty Nest Stage(05:56) Emotional Journey of Letting Go(08:57) Recalibrating Expectations with Independence(12:00) Understanding Codependency and Communication(15:01) Finding Joy in the Transition(17:56) Personal Growth and Rediscovering Identity(21:38) Discovering Purpose Beyond Parenting(24:51) The Importance of Disruption for Growth(25:35) Balancing Support and Independence in Parenting(28:40) Emotional Strength and Empathy in Parenting(30:39) Creative Ways to Love Your Kids from a Distance(37:50) Encouragement and Connection in ParentingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Connect with SharonFirst episode with Sharon on PTMWho Matters Most - relationship exercise Touch Note - Post CardsSupport Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy