The Science of Self

• Once we can properly identify suffering for what it is and become aware of it in ourselves, we can begin to manage it better. • Suffering takes all different forms for each of us, but according to the four noble truths, there is a way to ease and reduce our suffering, by letting go of attachment.• One way to do this is to practice distinguishing between pain and suffering, first and second darts, and facts or opinions. When you feel upset, slow down and tease apart the situation until you see it as clearly and objectively as possible.• Try to avoid extremes and black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking. Watch out for clues to cognitive distortions and bias like absolute terms, catastrophizing and generalization, and instead look for a balanced path down the middle of extremes. We can achieve this merely by changing our language and how we frame things.• Counterintuitively, we reduce feelings of suffering by being willing to “sit with” and acknowledge all our feelings, without trying to escape them. We can learn to stay in the present and be aware of how we feel right now, instead of letting our minds get carried away with thoughts of the past or future. One way to keep in the present is to ground in the senses.• Finally, take care with what you consume, information-wise, since suffering is often a question of overwhelm, or being looped into people’s stories and interpretations. Pay close attention to the media you take in, its effect on you, and how these distractions may be helping you avoid your feelings in the present. Get the audiobook on Audible Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-homePeter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.#EmotionalRegulation #Hanh #NobleTruths #Suffer #Suffering #SufferWell #ThichNhatHanh #HowDoWeOvercome? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #SufferWell

• Live large. Take your mission seriously and choose to be a hero in your own epic saga of triumph and overcoming.• Endless resilience is possible when you tap into your deepest convictions and beliefs. Find that thing you are most passionate and resolute about and allow it to animate all your efforts. That way, any obstacle is perceived as a minor inconvenience, just a trifle on the bigger, more important path you’re on.• Read. Educate yourself and absorb knowledge wherever you can. Carlyle built a complex and sophisticated worldview because he was able to read widely, and this view would forever act as a buffer against adversity and a source of strength during dark times.Get the audiobook on Audible at https://adbl.co/3NBG3vWShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-homePeter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition. Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.#Carlyle #FrenchRevolution #FrenchMonarchy #GeneralLafayette #GiltBuckram #JohnStuartMill #NapoleonBonaparte #Robespierre #Rossbach #ThomasCarlyle #Versailles #ThomasCarlyleAndWritingTheFrenchRevolution #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Old-SchoolGrit

• Humans have an innate need to live in a world that makes sense to them, and which they feel they can control and influence. We want to predict, model and manage the world, but this combined with our tendency to find patterns where there are none, can make our perceptions of probability very different from the reality. • The way we experience and explain random events, and the cause to which we attribute these events, is highly personal. We may have an internal or external locus of control, which is whether we believe we are the cause of life’s events (the former) or whether our lives are at the mercy of external events beyond our control (the latter).• Research has discovered that there are further distinctions, and that an external locus of control can see luck as either a stable quality a person possesses, or a fleeting phenomenon that could disappear as quickly as it comes. The finding is that viewing luck as stable makes people more proactive – and more successful. • Attribution theory deals with how we attach meaning to our own behavior and the behavior of other people. How we assign blame and praise depends on how we understand accountability and our influence on events – and it has a powerful influence on how likely we are to act and actually achieve success.Get the audiobook on Audible Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home#Apophenia #AttributionTheory #BadLuck #BradWatson #CognitiveBias #ColumbiaUniversity #DefenseMechanism #ExternalAttribution #FritzHeider #GamblersFallacy #GoodFortune #GoodLuck #GoodLuckCharms #Superstitions #Heider #InternalAttribution #InternalLocus #JohnNash #JulianRotter #KlausConrad #Luck #LuckyCharms #LuckOfTheDraw #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheScienceofBeingLucky

• In the Buddhist tradition, the four noble truths explain what suffering is, its cause, and how to deal with it. The first truth is that suffering exists and is unavoidable, and the second is that the cause of suffering is our desire, craving or attachment. The third is that suffering can be released if we renounce this attachment, and the fourth truth is that we practice this way of being by following the eight-fold path. • When we are attached to one outcome or another, the Buddhists claim we cause suffering. It is our perspective, preference, narrative, and expectation about what should be that causes our unhappiness. In life, everything is transient, though, and always changing. • In the parable of the two monks, we see that resistance is also a form of grasping, and allows us to “carry” suffering with us long after the initial moment has passed. • In this philosophy, we cannot achieve happiness by trying to remove suffering from life, but rather by changing our attitude to it. • We can use the four noble truths as a starting point for reducing suffering in our own lives, or rather, learn to suffer better. To do so, we have to understand our own tendency to identify with, cling, resist or tell stories about reality and learn to simply appreciate reality for what it is: neutral and impermanent. Get the audiobook on Audible Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-homePeter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.#Buddha #Buddhist #Dukkha #Marga #Nirodha #NobleTruths #Samudaya #Suffering #AttachmentIsOurMortalEnemy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Dig deep and connect to your overarching life’s purpose. What matters most to you? What do you care about achieving here on earth more than anything else? Allow this conviction to give you strength to weather any obstacles on the way.• Be true to yourself. Beethoven really did things his way. This wasn’t always easy, but his commitment to his own authentic artistic vision gave him the courage to try things that others might not have wanted to risk. In difficult times, lean on your strengths – those unique insights and perspectives that nobody else could offer the world but you.• Finally, be adaptable. When one path closes to you, look around for the paths that are still open. Refuse to dwell on what is missing, what is not working, or what is difficult. Instead, constantly turn your attention to what is possible, what resources you still have, and what opportunities are still there to be tapped.Get the audiobook on Audible at https://adbl.co/3NBG3vWShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-homePeter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition. Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.#AimeeMullins #Beethoven #ComposerLouisSpohr #FrauleinCarolineUnger #GottlobNeefe #Lichnowsky #PastoralSymphony #Beethoven:NotEvenDeafnessWasAnExcuse #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Old-SchoolGrit

• Luck may play a bigger role in our success than we think. By examining what we consider lucky breaks, serendipity and fortuitous events, we can better handle the invisible forces that favor some and not others. • Research has made surprising findings, i.e., that it may be better to be mediocre in skills but lucky than to be highly talented yet unlucky. Mathematical models have tended to show the irrelevance of skill and talent, and emphasize the fact that randomness plays a big part in what we consider success.• In the case of the discovery of LSD (and many other scientific advances), we can see that luck plays a surprising role.• Luck may play a role in an absolute sense in determining the hand we’re dealt in what Warren Buffett calls the “Ovarian Lottery” – where we’re born, our genes, and so on. But hard work does matter, and may factor in a more relative sense, i.e., it helps us distinguish ourselves from others who have been similarly lucky. • Luck and hard work play a part. We cannot control luck, but we can understand how it works and position ourselves accordingly, so that we’re ready to strike when and if opportunity does come our way. Get the audiobook on Audible Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home#AlbertHoffman #AlessandroPluchino #AndreaRaspirarda #AlessioBiondo #ArthurStolls #BeingLucky #BentleyCoffey #PatrickMcLaughlin #Biondo #BrankoMilanovic #FranoSelaks #GoodLuck #LeeatYariv #LiranEinav #NassimTaleb #OvarianLottery #Pareto #Pluchino #RobertFrank #Taleb #TuYouyou #ZigzagPath #TheScienceOfBeingLucky #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheScienceofBeingLucky

• There are countless theoretical approaches to understanding the universal problem of suffering. We start with the Buddhist conception, which sees pain as an inevitable and natural part of life, which is transient and always changing. Therefore if we attach to what is impermeant, we will suffer when it changes. • The parable of the farmer and the Buddha shows that our biggest problem is that we believe we should have no problems. • In these views, suffering occurs because, paradoxically, we think we should not be suffering! • Pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional. Suffering is pain plus our grasping, resistance, attachment or identification. Thus we can greatly reduce our suffering by changing how we deal with pain. • The serenity prayer teaches us that we need the wisdom to discern between what is in our power to control (our mental reaction to pain) and what isn’t (the pain itself). • According to Viktor Frankl, in the brief moment after pain, we have a gap where we can pause and decide what response we would like to have. We may evolve mechanisms to respond automatically, but we also have the power to choose our response if we are conscious. • Cognitive behavioral psychologists recognize a similar principle, and explain how our minds can trap us in suffering. We experience pain and then immediately create a thought about it. This thought creates our feelings and a physiological reaction, for example, stress and tension in the body. In time, these feelings spiral out of control and manifest as behaviors that reinforce our original thoughts. Get the audiobook on Audible Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-homePeter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.#Aurelius #Buddhist #Frankl #MarcusAurelius #Seneca #SerenityPrayer #Stoic #ViktorFrankl #ToSufferIsToLive #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #HowtoSufferWell

Shackleton’s lessons: • Find purpose. Seek a deeper meaning and significance in your life, and, if it strengthens you, anchor yourself in religion or spirituality. Shackleton never felt alone during his most arduous challenges, and that’s because he was a man of faith. • When times are challenging, keep sane and even-keeled by engrossing yourself in the details of day to day life. Keep a routine, look after the basics of life, and if need be, find relieving distractions when things get especially difficult. • Finally, don’t give up. When you encounter a challenge, reframe the way you look at it: it’s not the end. Difficulties are not a sign that your journey is over, just that the route has changed. Difficulties are just things to overcome. If you have hope, then you’ll be prepared and ready to grasp opportunity when it does finally come your way.Get the audiobook on Audible at https://adbl.co/3NBG3vWShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-homePeter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition. Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.#Grit #Hollins #PeterHollins #ErnestShackletonAndHisCrew:AnInspiringStoryOfStrengthAndSurvival #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Old-SchoolGrit

• The final major biological difference is the level of background noise that is inside the introvert’s or extrovert’s mind. To put it plainly, introverts have perpetual static and chatter in their mind, which makes them more liable to overwhelm, analysis, rumination, and retreating to solitude. Hans Eysenck proved a corollary of this with his lemon juice test, in which he found that introverts were generally easier to arouse and become alert.• All of these differences make it seem like introverts are somewhat less predisposed to survival than extroverts. But the opposite is true; zoological studies have found that there are generally two groups in a society, rovers and sitters, and both are needed because they complement each other. Rovers are extroverts—thrill-seekers and out and about. Sitters are introverts—planners, analyzers, and operating in the background. That is to say, introverts keep themselves and the people around them safer than they might be otherwise. Get the audiobook on AudibleShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-homePeter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition. Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think. #ArousalLevels #BaselineArousal #BaselineLevels #BiologicalDifferences #CognitivePerformance #Darwinism #Eysenck #Introvert #BackgroundNoise #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #TheScienceofIntroverts

   • Get into the reading habit to increase your empathy and communication skills, as well as relax. Anything goes, but literary fiction is best for strengthening perspective and “theory of mind” ability.    • Journaling or keeping a diary can make you happier and help you modulate and regulate your emotions. Try whatever form works best for you.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available  Learn more or get a free mini-book  #CognitiveAbilities #CultivateDiscipline #EmotionalRegulation #LaurenMSinger #Lieberman #MatthewLieberman #MentalAcuity #MindlabInternational #TheReadingAndWritingHabits #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #NeuroHappiness