Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

On this episode of “The Language of Love,” sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman talks about the trouble with mismatched libidos and why so many couples struggle to establish complementary sex drives.“One of the most common issues my clients have is that one partner wants more sex than the other,” says Dr. Berman. “Generally, this is an issue that presents early on in a relationship, but over time the issue grows and grows…as does the resentment.”Dr. Berman explains that mismatched libidos can often trigger a vicious cycle, a cycle which couples may not even be aware of or realizing that they are perpetuating.“Here is what often happens: The partner who keeps getting turned down for sex becomes resentful and insecure. They start to pull away, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unconsciously. The pet names and romance and affection start to disappear. As these things fall by the wayside, the sex drive only continues to plummet and both partners grow apart bit by bit. This is why mismatched libidos can end up derailing your entire marriage, if the issue is left untreated.”So what can couples do?In this episode, Dr. Berman explains how you can naturally increase your libido, such as by doing something dangerous together.“If you go on a roller coaster, or go skydiving, or even just watch a scary movie together, it can increase adrenaline and dopamine which will mimic that excitement you first felt for each other when you began dating,” says Dr. Berman.Dr. Berman also discusses how couples can start to find moments for spontaneity and create more eroticism and novelty in the bedroom.“You can have the sex life of your dreams,” says Dr. Berman. “But you’re the one responsible for making that happen. It won’t just occur overnight, and you have to be willing to get of your comfort zone and really challenge yourself to take ownership of your sexuality.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman sits down with intuitive consultant, life coach, and mindfulness-based psychotherapist Maureen Riley. Dr. Berman has been a longtime client of Maureen Riley, and she reveals that Riley’s wisdom and intuition has helped her deeply.Riley is committed to teaching people how to unlock their own potential and get out of their own way. If you’re starting 2022 with a list of daring resolutions and hopes for the New Year, this is a must-listen episode that will teach you what you need to know in order to make your resolutions a reality.“Imagine being able track back to the hidden source of what’s blocking you while you simultaneously access the power within that unlocks, opens and shifts you into a new reality- one that’s aligned with your Wholeness, well Being, and Source of inner guidance,” Riley states. “Once activated, this energy and intelligence can repair your health, put your life into alignment with your true purpose and then, by sacred law, activates your personal stream of abundance. Imagine having what it REALLY takes to re-ignite and flourish, trusting yourself and life again.”On this episode, Riley explains what manifesting really is, and challenges some of the misconceptions people may have about manifesting and how to apply it your own life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman talks about what men and women really want in the bedroom. Do men and women really have such vastly different needs and desires in the bedroom? Is it true that men have much higher libidos than women, or that women can’t have sex without getting emotionally attached?Dr. Berman gets real about these intimacy questions and more, first explaining what truly makes a person desirable in the bedroom. And believe it or not, it has nothing to do with how big your breasts are or how long you can last during sex.“Think back to the best sex you’ve ever had,” says Dr. Berman. “The sex that made you feel the most turned on, desired, and powerfully connected to your partner. What made that sex so amazing? It probably had nothing to do with your partner’s penis size or whether or not they had a 6-pack or double D cups. It was probably about the emotional connection and the excitement you felt at being seen and loved and treasured for exactly who you are, and being able to give that same unconditional love back to your partner in return.”So knowing that passionate sex is more than skin deep, how can you apply this wisdom to your sex life right now to make yourself an even better sex partner?“Don’t assume that your partner wants what you want,” says Dr. Berman. “Be willing to stay open and curious about what things might make your partner feel desired and turned on. Ask questions. Pay attention. Don’t make it all about your assumptions or what your past partners might have liked. And, even if you have been with your partner for a long time, their tastes or desires might have changed. Sex needs to be ongoing conversation we are having if we want to ensure that both partners are getting their needs met.”Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can become a better partner in the bedroom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this very special episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman sits down with Susan Grau. Have you ever wondered it means to be a medium, or have you ever felt as though you have a ‘sixth sense’ or an ability to see or feel people who are no longer here? Then this episode is for you:Susan Grau is an Internationally recognized Intuitive Medium, Life Path Intuitive, Life Coach, & Hypnotherapist / Past Life Regressionist. Susan is known for bringing her genuine, benevolent, and down-to-earth style to her clients and sessions. Susan works with the spirit world using her “Clair Senses” as a means to communicate with your loved ones. She has been offering her professional and spiritual services to the public for over three decades.“You are made of light. You are good, kind, and filled with the spiritual beauty of the afterlife. Never forget where you came from. Never allow anyone to make you feel less than what you are. Always know your value. You are from the light,” says Susan.On this episode, Dr. Berman talks with Susan about the near-death experience she had when she was 4 years old. Susan says she didn’t see bright lights or the traditional light at the end of the tunnel, but she had an incredible experience in the afterlife that she shares with Dr. Berman in this thrilling episode.Dr. Berman also shares how she has been able to connect with her son Sammy and her mother after their deaths, and how she uses her deep pain as a gateway to creating these incredible channels of connection.If you have ever wondered about the afterlife or how to cope with grief or the loss of your loved ones, this is an episode that will bring you enlightenment and comfort. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman talks about the most common mistakes that people make in the bedroom. How can you create passion and meaningful sexual intimacy even when you have been together for years? How can you make sex special on a regular weeknight when the kids are down the hall and there are still dirty dishes in the sink?From understanding the different ways that men and women approach sexual pleasure to getting in touch with what you really want in the bedroom, Dr. Berman explains that the most fulfilling and passionate sex is often born out of self-knowledge and a willing to go beyond the surface.“When we think of exciting sexual encounters or passionate hookups, we tend to imagine a very Hollywood image of what that kind of sex looks like. We picture a couple stumbling home from their date night or a night out at the bar, pulling each other’s clothes off as they trip down the hallway and then land in bed together. The sex feels very spontaneous and unplanned,” says Dr. Berman.“But what I have found throughout my years as a sex therapist is that the best sex really happens when couples consciously do the work necessary to make uninhibited, whole-hearted sex possible. It’s not about a drunken hookup where you’re struggling to pull off each other’s close as fast as possible. It’s about slowing down, feeling what’s really happening inside, and knowing that you are safe enough and loved enough to show your whole self.”Dr. Berman explains that this type of sex is also so special because it requires no preparation or extra window dressing.“You don’t need the lingerie or the date nights or the candles,” says Dr. Berman. “Those things are wonderful and special, but if you’re having conscious, whole-hearted, enlightened sex, or some form of conscious physical connection (even if it’s just for 10 minutes), that means more than a whole night of bells and whistles without any emotional depth or real intimacy.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman sits down for an intimate conversation with husband Neal Allen. Neal Allen is a coach and writer who studies and practices traditional and contemporary spiritual paths. His book “Shapes of Truth: Discover God Inside You,” is one of Dr. Berman’s favorite new books and she is eager to share how you can apply the deep wisdom within this book to your life.Neal Allen will help listeners discover how to find the divinity within, including what divinity means and how even a non-believer can connect with a deeper meaning and purpose. Allen explains how his time at the Hameed Ali's Diamond Heart group helped to awake him to the false stories about himself and his reality that he had been stuck in, and how he was able to ‘burn down his house’ discover how to see the many colors of divinity within them.“There are 35 colors that you can find within yourself,” says Allen. “And each of them has to do a way in which you are divine.”Allen explains what these colors mean and how you can learn to find your colors in yourself and in others.During the episode, Dr. Berman also gets a chance to speak with Neal Allen’s wife Anne Lamott. Anne Lamott is the New York Times bestselling author of “Bird by Bird,” “Help, Thanks, Wow,” and “Stiches.” She is also a public speaker and writing teacher, and one of Dr. Berman’s favorite writers.Lamott talks to Dr. Berman about dating when you’re middle-aged, and how one should approach the process of looking for love. How do you know when he’s “the one” or when he just ticks most of your boxes?“Hold out for the person you would want to be best friends with, even if they aren’t going to your romantic partner,” says Lamott.You can find Neal Allen’s “Shapes of Truth: Finding the Divinity Within” on Amazon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman discusses one of the most common issues she sees in her sex therapy practice: Mismatched libidos.“Whenever one partner has more desire than the other partner, you’re looking at a powder keg,” says Dr. Berman. “It may not seem so at first. But as one partner keeps saying ‘no’ and the other partner keeps dealing with that rejection, over time it can really become an explosive situation.”Dr. Berman says one of the main reasons mismatched libido can lead to divorce is because lack of sex often leads to lack of physical intimacy and then lack of emotional intimacy as well.“When sex falls by the wayside, what often happens is that cuddling, kissing, hand-holding, and snuggling often go away too,” says Dr. Berman. “A woman may reject being cuddled or getting massaged because she fears it is going to lead to sex, and if she’s not in the mood, she may just want to shut down any physical intimacy altogether.”Dr. Berman says that when cuddling and physical touch disappear, then romance tends to follow suit.“Then, the pet names disappear and the little signs of affection, like bringing home flowers or going on date nights or making her a special dinner just to surprise her,” says Dr. Berman. “His needs are getting met in the bedroom so he can’t meet her needs outside the bedroom. It becomes a vicious circle.”Dr. Berman says it’s not just women who suffer from low libido, but men as well.“When men have low desire, it presents differently from women,” says the sex therapist. “Oftentimes, stress or shame or fear of performance issues can lead a man to avoid sex. If he is struggling with erectile dysfunction, he may try to avoid sex because it is humiliating for him. Or if he is out of work or not able to provide for his family, I find that this kind of stress also leads men to shut down in the bedroom. When men feel stressed or emasculated, they often cope by turning to porn and masturbation instead of wanting to connect with their actual partner in the bedroom.”So what can couples do to address mismatched libidos and ensure that both sex and romance stay alive in their relationship? Listen to this very important episode of “The Language of Love” to find out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman continues her conversation with the transformative author and energy guide, Lee Harris. (See the previous episode for Part One of her interview with Harris).In this episode, Dr. Berman and Harris talk about how you can heal from a breakup and find self-care. What does self-care really mean? Is it about splurging on a massage or taking a hot bath with expensive bath bombs? Or is there more to self-care than meets the eye? Harris and Dr. Berman look beyond the commodification of self-care and our current understanding of how self-care often means external things (like shopping or going on vacation), and how self-care can actually be much deeper than that.Harris suggests spending 10 minutes a day with yourself, and how this simple, easily applied practice can totally overhaul you whole day and our whole mood. The truest form of self-care is about being with yourself, honoring yourself with your whole awareness and consciousness. And then without judgment or condemnation or allowing anyone else’s needs or desires overtake you, you sit for that 10 minutes and honor what is happening right now inside of you. It’s a small but powerfully significant way to change your life.“If you are trying to recover from something or replenish yourself, place a hand on your heart and say to yourself, “I give myself my own love.” It is a powerful statement. I give myself my own love. Some of you will feel it going through the hand back into the heart recycling what it is you send out. A lot of love escapes your body from this point, so send it back in. The heart is a magnet when it is full,” writes Harris.Later in the episode, Harris and Dr. Berman talk about how our challenges and setbacks actually hide our most important invitations from the universe, and how our darkest times can offer us the chance for finding the true light within. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman sits down with energy expert and transformation guide Lee Harris. Harris is the author of “Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening,” and on today’s episode, he talks about how we can get in tune with our energy and help use our consciousness not only to heal ourselves but to heal the world.Harris explains to Dr. Berman how we can better raise boys and help them to get in touch with their emotions. Since our society encourages men to be stoic and never cry or show weakness, many boys grow up being unable to cope with or even identify their emotions.On this episode, Harris shares his important insights on raising emotionally healthy boys, but also emotionally healthy kids in general. How can you better tap into your child’s emotions? How can you parent in a conscious, vulnerable way? These questions are so complex, but the answers are already within us, if we can just let our egos and expectations get out of the way our intuition and our inner wisdom.When we connect to the source of unconditional love and our true power, we can parent in a way that allows our children to break free from painful family patterns, even those that may have existed in our family legacy for generations.“The heartbreak of this planet is healing. It may not seem so, but it is. Heartbreak is healing on a planetary level. That is why hearts are breaking. So, lead with your hearts both for yourself and for others,” says Harris. “Where you share your love with others, you lead with your hearts. None of you acknowledge yourselves enough for this. And where you lead with your hearts, you the lead the way for others to open their hearts.”Don’t miss this insightful episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman talks about what men really want in the bedroom, and why men seem to have higher desire than women when it comes to intimacy.Dr. Berman reveals that the most common issue that she sees in her clients is the fact that men want more sex than their partners, and how those mismatched libidos can wreak havoc on your relationship. When sex falls by the wayside, it can lead to less affection, less physical touch, and less romance in general. When a woman doesn’t want sex, she may brush off her partner if he tries to cuddle her or kiss her, because she thinks “Oh no, he is just going to want sex, and I don’t even want to go there right now.” Or maybe she even feels guilty accepting affectionate touch since she isn’t ‘keeping up her end of the bargain’ and being the passionate, hands-on partner that she knows her partner wants her to be.Yet the more these things disappear (the cuddling, the hand-holding, the pet names, the snuggling under the sheets) in a relationship, the more her desire will continue to plummet as well because she needs these forms of affection to help fuel her libido. So, it becomes a vicious cycle in which less sex means less romance, and less romance means less sex, and in the end, both partners end up feeling very isolated and disconnected.Dr. Berman’s advice for couples is simple: Start by being honest about the fact that you each have different levels of desire, but make room for the possibility that this can change in the future. Every sex life has ebbs and flows, so even if you are not currently where you want to be in the bedroom, make room for the possibility that this can change and that you and your partner have the power to create the passion, fulfilling sex lives you both desire and deserve. Listen to today’s episode of “The Language of Love” to hear Dr. Berman’s best sex tips for couples struggling with mismatched libidos. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices