Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

I come across a lot of misconceptions about sex and sexual desire in my work as a sex therapist. But perhaps one of the most harmful of them all is about men and sexual desire. Most people believe that men should always be in the mood. We expect men to have much higher desires than women, and that they are always ready and up for sex. This is such a harmful misconception.It is actually incredibly common for men to struggle with low desire, for many of the same reasons that women struggle with low desire sometimes. Medications can impact desire (like anti-depressants) as can hormones (such as low testosterone). Illness, stress, fatherhood, relationship issues, and financial issues can also wreak havoc on a man’s libido.Unfortunately, treating male sexual desire can be very complicated. Many men don’t seek help until low desire has been going on for months or even years. They are ashamed to talk to their doctor because we often associate sexual desire with virility and ‘manliness.’ Hence men often feel emasculated if they aren’t in the mood for sex.In this episode of “The Language of Love,” you will learn:• The common causes for male sexual desire and why low desire in men may be on the rise in our current economic climate• What people can do to support their male partner when low desire becomes an issue• How to talk about male sexual desire in a way that is more compassionate• Tips and tools for increasing desire that you can start implementing in your bedroom tonight• How to safeguard your bond when sexual connection is off the tableListen to the episode and let me know your thoughts! If you are a man struggling with low desire, I am here to say: This is normal and not shameful. You are still a man even if you don’t feel in the mood for sex all the time or if you are currently experiencing low to no desire. But, there are many things you can do to start building up your desire again, and I am here to help! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is The Bachelor’s Nick Viall ready to pop the question to his girlfriend of two years, Natalie Joy? Why does he think he was so unlucky in love TWICE on The Bachelorette? And what is his hopeful versus grateful list? I’m covering all of that and more in my heartwarming, inspiring, and really honest Language of Love Conversation with former reality star, Nick Viall.He is dishing about it all from looking for love in front of the camera – to healing from being cheated on by his ex-fiance. We talk about how, for many years, Nick’s ego and insecurities led to the decisions he made in his relationships and how he learned to recognize when he was fighting for love versus fighting to continue to be in a toxic relationship. We discuss how he learned to put his own ego in check when it comes to dating.We also talk about Nick’s new book “Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday,” where he shares the best advice he’s picked up in his dating life through the years. And Nick answers whether he thinks you can really be friends with your exes.In this conversation, we talk a lot about Nick’s new love, what he's learned through that relationship, how it's different from his past relationships, and what the future might hold. He shares how keeping a hopeful vs. grateful list helps remind him of all the wonderful things about his relationship. We also get the skinny on the Bachelor Nation and whether or not it’s realistic to expect an engagement on the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am so excited about this episode of “The Language of Love”! Today I am honored to sit down for an intimate and meaningful chat with Lee Harris. Lee Harris is a transformation teacher and energy intuitive who is known around the globe for his inspirational wisdom. Every time I get the chance to talk with Lee, I walk away with some profound bit of knowledge or awareness that I didn’t even realizing I was looking for.Today, Lee and I are talking about how we can travel past viewing the world in ‘3D density,’ which might sound like a complicated term, but it simply means that when we are locked into viewing the world in 3D (rather than 4D or 5D), we lose our ability to see beyond our perspective. The world feels tight and constricted. We are operating out of a sense of ego, out of a need to control the decisions and thoughts of other people in order to make ourselves feel safer.This episode will teach you:• How to have harmonious and even productive conversations with people who have completely different viewpoints than you• How to shift out of 3D glasses and to begin viewing the world in a multi-layered, multidimensional wayHarris and I also speak about how grief and trauma can deeply shape us, and how everyone around us has a unique story of loss and pain. Learning about people’s past can be crucial in understanding their core story and how inspirational the lives of ‘ordinary people’ can be.But it is only by stepping out of our 3D worldview that we can begin to see beyond the superficial and begin to understand the beautiful truths of the universe. Are you ready to get started?Buy Lee's New Book Conversations with the Z's here: https://www.leeharrisenergy.com/store/m2AebpFqTune in and let me know what you think! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on “The Language of Love,” I am doing a ‘Sessions’ episode! This is when I get to sit down with a caller just like you and do an in-depth session with them about anything and everything related to sex, love, soul, and more.This week, I am talking to Carmen. Carmen is struggling to recover from a lifelong problem with people-pleasing. Carmen has set the intention to live her life differently and stop putting herself on the bottom of her to-do list. The problem now is that when she is with her family, her friends, or her romantic partners, she can slip into her old people-pleasing behavior or worry that she is harming her loved ones by not catering to them enough.I talk to Carmen about how people-pleasing can lead us to ‘accommodate’ other people’s energies. We instantly switch to their energy frequency because we want to be on the same page as them and because people-pleasers have the instinctive, ingrained need to put their own needs and energies underneath that of everyone else around them. As a recovering people pleaser, she is learning how to ‘hold’ her own energy, which can be a difficult skill to master at first, especially if you have spent your whole life switching to other people’s energy.So how can you learn to hold your own energy rather than accommodating everyone else’s energy? And what happens when your personal changes lead your loved ones to resist or push back against your transformation? Listen to this episode to hear my advice for Carmen, and for you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like you are being haunted by your past? If so, you need to tune into “The Language of Love” to hear how you can heal your wounds so that you can finally let the past go.We all experienced trauma as children, even if you fortunately didn’t have hugely disturbing experiences like sexual assault, physical abuse, or extreme poverty in your childhood. I call these kind of traumas “Big T” traumas, because they’re easily identifiable to all of us as areas of pain and terror.However, there are also “little t” traumas, traumas that aren’t as easily identified as wounds. These events might include an overly critical parent, religious fear-mongering, bullying at school, weight struggles, learning difficulties, and sibling rivalry, just to name a few.All of these experiences impact our self-worth, our beliefs about ourselves, our beliefs about how we should be treated, and about how the world works. They may not feel as worthy of healing and attention as other major wounds like abuse, but this kind of thinking only allows your ‘little t’ traumas to bury deeper into your psyche and bleed into all areas of your life.That shame and embarrassment you feel about being gentle with your past wounds is in fact PART of your wound talking: If you feel like your pain isn’t serious enough or that you’re being too sensitive or that you don’t have the ‘right’ to feel upset about something that happened 20 years ago, guess what? That’s your core wound talking. Your core wound that tells you that you aren’t strong enough or that your pain isn’t worthy of tenderness or that other people have it worse than you, so you should just ‘get over it’….these are all messages we got from our family systems when our pain triggered them. They weren’t able to address our needs so they shamed us for having them: Now we as adults do the same thing. But we can change the pattern. This isn’t about wallowing in the past, it’s about healing it so we can finally move on.If you can’t bring attention and tenderness to these parts of you that need healing, you will forever be dominated and controlled by your past. You won’t be able to expertly manifest your dreams and work towards your goals, because your energy is being sapped by these invisible wounds that just won’t heal. Listen to this episode to find out how you can begin to let go of the past right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to embrace yourself as an erotic creature? Why is sexual empowerment still such a taboo for so many women? How can you awaken your sensuality, eroticism, and emotions in order to discover who you are and how you approach love – and life?On this episode of “Language of Love,” I’m joined by body whisperer, speaker, and actress Sheila Kelley, who’s helping women reconnect to their vitality, sensuality, and true selves through an embodiment and movement practice called S Factor. Started when Sheila realized as a young woman that she had “no idea who she was as a sexually empowered woman,” S Factor helps women heal their body’s relationship with society and celebrates the feminine essence within all of us. In this episode, you’ll learn about:  The five different feminine powers we all possess How to discover your unique type The power of getting out of your head and into your body’s full erotic expression Ready to embrace your eroticism and tap into your sensual identity? Join Sheila’s 6-month S Factor Movement Journey: Strip & Rise with code: "LAURAB" or "laurab" for 20% off (save up to $500)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we talk about abusive relationships, we tend to focus on physical abuse. That is why leaving a purely emotionally abusive relationship that doesn’t have any physical abuse can be very confusing. If you don’t have a black eye, is it abuse? If he doesn’t push you down or slap you, is it abuse? If she doesn’t throw things at you or put her hands around your throat, is it abuse?YES. Even if your partner never lays their hands on you, emotional abuse is STILL abuse. Emotional abuse is incredibly damaging and traumatic. Even after you leave the relationship, emotional abuse leaves its mark. It shakes your view of yourself and it threatens your ability to visualize a better future for yourself. It keeps you stuck in a pattern of being wounded and unable to move forward to healing.Today on “The Language of Love,” I am talking with a woman who bravely left an emotionally abusive relationship. Now, she is looking for ways to heal, but also for ways to co-parent with her ex.During our discussion, we uncover that my caller routinely finds herself in relationships in which the other partner is the one holding all the cards. She always feels more invested in relationship or as though she is an embarrassment to her partners. She was made to feel demanding or nagging, and as though she has unforgivable flaws that she has to hide or modify if she wants her partner to tolerate her.I can tell that this is a core wound that is stemming from her childhood, and we peel back the layers of her relationships to find out when these patterns first began in her life. Throughout our discussion, we also talk about how she can heal from her abusive past and effectively co-parent with the ex who tried to destroy her self-worth.Be sure to tune in to hear my advice, and then share your thoughts with me on social media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on “The Language of Love,” I am doing a “Bite” episode. These are my short and sweet episodes in which I distill my best sex, love, and relationships advice into concise, actionable steps. These episodes are less than 10 minutes long so they are perfect for those times when you are running short on time but still want a boost for your mind, body, and soul.For today’s “Bite” episode, I am addressing one of the most common questions I get asked as a relationship therapist: How do I know if my partner is ‘the one’?Many times, people stay with partners that don’t necessarily tick all of their boxes, but being with someone is better than being alone. Does this sound familiar? If you have every stayed in a relationship that is far from ideal just because you would rather be with someone than be alone, then you need to listen to this “Bite.”On this episode, you will learn how to:• Find out if your romantic choices are being driven by fear or by a need to find someone to ‘complete’ you• How to lean into your intuition to see if you are really in love or if you just don’t want to be alone• Discover your key childhood wounds that might be playing a role in your fear of being alone or not having a partner• Stand in your own power and feel complete on your own, whether you are with a partner or you are singleGive this “Bite” episode of “The Language of Love” a listen and then reach out to me on social media to let me know your thoughts! Have you ever stayed in an unhappy relationship just because you are afraid of being alone? Do you ever fear that you are settling just so you don’t have to be single? Reach out to me and let me know your thoughts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, on “The Language of Love,” it’s me and Rebecca Rosen teaming up to talk about people who have passed on…and how we can continue to connect with our loved ones even after they have transitioned out of this realm. Rebecca is an internationally acclaimed medium who has helped countless people communicate with the spirit world and exchange messages with people who are no longer here in physical form.As soon as one of my friends told me about Rebecca, I instantly knew I needed to connect with her right away. It was as if something just called me to reached out to her right away, and Rebecca had the same experience with me. After seeing me on television one day, she told her husband that she knew I would reach out to her one day…and she was right, I did!Since we connected, Rebecca has been receiving messages from my son Sammy. Sammy died a little over a year ago, and throughout my grief process, I haven’t been fully ready to connect with him in spiritual form. My pain was so raw and overwhelming, that I wasn’t able to be in a space where I could receive messages from him. But now, I am in a space where I can enter a spiritual relationship with him.As a medium, Rebecca serves as a neutral conduit that can help people connect to their loved ones who have passed on, and ever since I opened myself up to the possibility of receiving these messages, Rebecca says that Sammy has been a very persistent communicator with her.On this episode, you will learn how you can open yourself up to these messages from the spiritual realm and why Rebecca says we ALL have the ability to be a medium. So how can you start getting messages from your loved ones who have moved on? And how can we become ‘soul-partners’ with those people we have so deeply loved and tragically lost in this lifetime? Listen to find out…and to hear what Rebecca says that Sammy has been saying to her for the last several weeks.You can find Rebecca Rosen’s beautiful books such as “What the Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well” and “Awaken the Spirit Within: 10 Steps to Ignite Your Life and Fulfill Your Divine Purpose” on Amazon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” I am talking with a caller about her struggles with low libido throughout her life. As we discuss her low desire, I uncover what I find to be troubling abuse in her current marriage.For reasons she didn’t quite understand, my caller never felt deep desire for her husband, even before they got married. She always assumed she just had low desire, or that she might have trouble feeling passion because of the negative messaging she received about sex as a child.But, over time, she realized it was simply that she didn’t feel desire for her husband in that way. Finally, they made the decision to divorce, and she moved on to a new marriage…this time with her ‘soulmate’ who was her old high school sweetheart.Although the intimacy and desire are there with her old flame/current husband, the trouble is that her husband becomes quite volatile during arguments. From yelling to name-calling to physical altercations, he is very defensive and easily angered. He lashes out, sometimes pushing her or covering her hand with his mouth. Is this abuse? And what should my caller do to protect herself and save her marriage? And should she try to save her marriage when things are so destructive between them? Listen to this episode to find out and hear my advice.During these “Sessions” episode of “The Language of Love,” I am able to talk callers just like you about their sex, love, and relationship issues. If you want a chance to talk to me live on-air about your issues, reach out to me on my social media accounts or email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices