In this episode of Belonging to the Wild, Dr. Ellman and I explore the question of finding a new spiritual home after loss of spiritual home and identity, or what some refer to as deconstruction. Is it possible to find a home by another way? Her research focuses on this question. By exploring the experience of folks who found a new sense of spiritual home and identity after this loss, Dr. Ellman identified 5 shifts that happened as they followed their own knowing into new spiritual homes, identities, and practices. Lacy Clark Ellman, DMin, has a doctorate in Transforming Spirituality, a certificate in spiritual direction, and was selected as a New Contemplative by Spiritual Directors International in 2015. Professionally, she is a spiritual companion and spiritual formation educator who speaks the language of pilgrimage. Personally, she is a lover of food, books, spirituality, growing and making things, far-off places, and lovely spaces. While she's currently focusing on family, you can find her recent work and connect with her at asacredjourney.net. You can find more about my work and send me a note about what you would like to hear on the podcast through my website ~ I would love to hear from you! www.drvanyaleilani.com

Heather Stringer, an artist, therapist, and ritual maker, shares her insights on the profound impact of rituals in our lives. She discusses the significance of the body and senses in creating meaningful experiences, emphasizing how intentional rituals can foster connection and healing. The conversation explores rituals as portals to personal transformation and communal bonding, particularly in times of transition and loss. Heather inspires listeners to embrace interruptions as opportunities for growth and to honor diverse experiences through inclusive ritual practices.

What does it mean to belong to the wild? What does our exile and our sacred unbelonging have to do with our self-belonging? How to we face the loss that comes with moving out of false and old belonging into wild belonging? These are some of the questions I explore in this episode. Wandering around the humble little story of the Ugly Duckling, this episode explores the complexities of true belonging, as well as the shadow side of belonging when it is used as weapon. We explore questions of exile, sacred unbelonging, self-belonging, and wild belonging as we move more and more out of domestication and obedience and into our wild belonging. I also let you know that this fall I am offering another Gathering Bones Course through the School of Wild Knowing. If you love stories and find meaning in diving into their wisdom in community, this offering may interest you! I am offering an in-person group for folks in the Seattle area and also an online opportunity for folks farther away. Click here for more info! If you are interested and want to talk more about it, schedule a call with me!

In this episode, Kaitlyn Turner and I sit down to continue our conversation on patriarchal consciousness. We explore questions like: Are there other ways besides the patriarchal way? When and how did the shift to patriarchal consciousness happens, and what are some of the reasons? What was cast away at the birth of patriarchal consciousness that we want to remember? What mythic images can help us remember those ways of knowing and being? The conversation leads us to a discussion about the myths living through us and shaping the way we imagine our lives and organize our societies, cultures, and families. In particular, we explore the Eden story—the predominant creation story of the Western tradition—and how this story has informed so much of how we live in this paradigm. We look at what is hidden in the Garden and how what has been buried there could help guide us home to more of ourselves and our nature.

In this conversation, Dr. Christy Bauman (she/her) and I continue the series on leaving the obedient life. Christy talks about different palettes of shoulds in her life, as well as the call she feels now to disobey the systems and narratives that constrict our freedom to exist fully. Christy describes the grief that she has experienced as a result of being excluded from the places where she is not fully welcome, and the joyous gift of invitation for her to be fully present in other places. Christy and I discuss what it means to be wild, and the particular safety that wildness offers. Christy beautifully describes the gift of learning to be her own best friend and the knowing, now at this point in her life, that she will no longer leave herself behind. We explore what it means to belong to ourselves first through the losses and joys of living and loving our lives. More about Christy and her work: Podcasts: Womaneering Therapy Shorts podcast      Offerings:  storywork consulting womaneering weekends  marriage intensives     Works: Her Rites: Seven Rites of Passage in Every Woman’s Life (coming April 2024)  The Sexually Healthy Woman Theology of the Womb  Womaneering Perpetual Calendar  A Brave Lament  Documentary: A Brave Lament    christybauman.com

In this episode, Jaye C. Watts joins me as we continue to explore experiences around leaving the obedient life.  Jaye shares their experiences with the shoulds and how they were enforced, particularly around gender expectations and constrictive educational systems.    In our conversation, Jaye beautifully describes the power of naming yourself, especially for the trans community, and of following the sense of aliveness and levity that comes as we learn to step beyond the shoulds.   We talk about questions of belonging, taking risks, and finding calm in living our truest lives.     Jaye’s website: www.jayecwatts.comChair in Transgender Studies: www.uvic.ca/research/transchair GLAAD Transgender Resources: www.glaad.org/transgender/resources Trans Lifeline: www.translifeline.org

In this episode we continue our series on leaving the obedient life with therapist and yoga instructor Jenny Wade. In this conversation, Jenny shares with us that the greatest should in her life has been the mandate to be a “good girl.” She describes how being a “good girl” for her meant being as disassociated from her body as possible in order to be favorable to her religious community. She speaks honestly about the deep grief that has come with the loss of favor from that community, as she has learned to inhabit her body and live from the knowing of her body. Jenny also tells us about the sense of aliveness that continues to draw her beyond the fear and grief into more freedom. She describes the “inner yes” that shapes her days now, and teaches us how to begin to recognize our own “inner yes.” Go to my website for a new Ebook: A Guide for Leaving an Obedient Life, available for download now! Find out more about Jenny: Instagram: @havenyogaseattle www.havenyogaseattle.com

We are beginning a short series on leaving the obedient life.  For the next few episodes, my co-hosts and I will be exploring questions about what our shoulds have been, what it looked like for us to step across, or transgress, those well-worn paths into our own wildness, and what living from our own knowing and nature looks like for us now.    In this episode I answer some of these questions about my own life. Before I invite my guests to share so bravely about their stories, I thought I would share with you some of the places I’ve encountered Great Shoulds in my life and what my experience of stepping beyond the bounds of obedience has been like for me.  As I tell some of my story, I also explore the experiences of sacrifice, permission, grief, and blessing on the journey of leaving the obedient life as we learn to trust our knowing and to live from that knowing.

In this episode Vanya is joined by Kaitlyn Turner who helps guide the conversation with questions around the tired word, patriarchy. We discuss how patriarchal consciousness is embedded within the Western world and how this system of “power over” exists within our day to day lives. We ask the question of what is another way, or other ways and explore some of the ways of being we’re looking for and how we can find and remember these ways in the natural world, within our dreams, our bodies, in science, and our mythologies. We hope to continue this conversation by asking more questions around how we shall live as we remember these ways of being.

In this episode, Vanya offers us 5 elements of the knowing life. She talks about learning how to live into our questions and be faithful to them rather than to the prescribed answers we’ve been given. She also discusses the powerful magic of curiosity, the work of transformation as the work of becoming, and how to embrace the unknowing within us (that lives at the heart of the knowing life). In all of this, Vanya explores learning how to befriend the wild life that we’ve been given and how to welcome ourselves home everyday a little bit more.