The Meaningful Life with Andrew G. Marshall

Women often spend many hours considering their relationship with their mothers; but far less attention goes to the impact of fathers. For some, the reason for this is that their mothers were there, making wrong and right decisions (which they remember in the starkest possible light) whilst their fathers were absent. Jungian psychotherapist Dr Susan Schwartz has spent many hours guiding her women clients in thinking about how they were shaped by physically or emotionally absent fathers.  These daughters relate feeling an insecurity of self, a splintering and disintegration of their personality and a silencing of their voice. In this episode Andrew and Susan explore the different ways we are shaped by our fathers, how this comes up in therapy and the ways in which we can start to fill the holes left by absent fathers.  Susan and Andrew also analyse a recent dream of Andrew’s in which themes of family legacies and therapeutic work are drawn out. Dr Susan Schwartz is a Jungian analyst who trained in Switzerland and lives in the USA. She teaches in numerous Jungian programs, workshops, and lectures in the USA and worldwide. She is also a clinical psychologist and member of the International Association of Analytical Psychology.    Follow Up The Meaningful Life has been nominated for a British Podcast Award in the category of Sex and Relationships Podcast. Please do vote for us in the Listeners’ Choice category here. Read Dr Susan Schwartz’s new book The Absent Father Effect on Daughters, Father Desire, Father Wounds.  Visit Dr Susan Schwartz’s website https://susanschwartzphd.com  Follow Dr Susan Schwartz on Facebook and Instagram Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier  You might also be interested in Andrew’s other interviews with Jungian psychotherapists James Hollis (How to be Resilient), Connie Zweig (“From Role to Soul”) and Lisa Marchiano (Being a Mother). Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall  Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

Do you think about drinking alcohol more than you think about eating sandwiches? Do you spend significant amounts of time thinking about NOT drinking (Dry January, for example)? Or are you one of the many with an uneasy feeling that alcohol is no longer bringing anything good into your life, and may well be holding you back? Therapist and sobriety expert Veronica Valli had a problematic relationship with alcohol for twelve years. She has now been sober for twenty years, and has helped countless others give up drinking. In this episode Andrew and Veronica discuss: ⭐️ How giving up alcohol can give you the energy and freedom to be your true self. ⭐️ Why your friends may not always be your cheerleaders if you give up drinking. ⭐️ Why a drinking problem is really a symptom of another, underlying problem. ⭐️ What to do if your partner has an alcohol problem.  ⭐️ Extreme social pressure to drink and how to deal with it. Veronica Valli has worked in the field of alcohol recovery for almost two decades. She is an author, podcaster and former clinical psychotherapist.    Follow Up The Meaningful Life has been nominated for a British Podcast Award in the category of Sex and Relationships Podcast. You can vote for us in the Listeners’ Choice category here. Read Veronica Valli’s new book Soberful: Uncover a Sustainable, Fulfilling Life Free of Alcohol  Take a look at Veronica Valli’s website Listen to Soberful: the Podcast  Find out about the Soberful private group on Facebook  Follow Veronica Valli on Instagram @veronicajvalli, on Facebook @soberfulpage, on Twitter @VeronicaValli and on LinkedIn. Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier  You might also be interested in Andrew’s interview with Oliver Russell on how being one of the first people in the UK to be diagnosed with Covid-19 led him to change his relationship with alcohol. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall  Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall 

How do you survive the loss of your life’s partner? How does grief relate to love? And how do you navigate the sometimes clumsy responses to grief from those around you? Writer, activist and speaker Catherine Mayer has spent the years since 2020 charting the depths of loss and grief. In early 2020 her husband, renowned guitarist and producer Andy Gill, died after returning from his band Gang of Four’s China tour. This came just months after her beloved stepfather died of Covid-19.  Locked down alone in the early months of the pandemic, Catherine and her mother, Anne Mayer Bird, found ways to navigate their losses and the startling questions and challenges that confronted them. Together they wrote Good Grief: Embracing Life at a Time of Death. In this episode Andrew and Catherine share their thoughts and feelings on the devastating experience that is the death of a partner. They talk about loneliness, pain and the process of writing it all down. Catherine Mayer is the co-founder and President of the Women’s Equality Party. She also co-founded the Primadonna Festival, which had its debut in 2019. Catherine is a writer, activist and speaker, and is the author of four books.    Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there. Read Catherine Mayer and Anne Mayer Bird’s new book Good Grief: Embracing Life at a Time of Death Read Catherine Mayer’s other books Attack of the Fifty Foot Women, Charles: The Heart of a King, and Amortality: the Pleasures and Perils of Living Agelessly. Learn more about The Women’s Equality Party and the Primadonna Festival.  Listen to The Problem of Leisure, a new album of Andy Gill’s music executive-produced by Catherine Mayer. Follow Catherine Mayer on Twitter @catherine_mayer Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall  Read Andrew’s memoir My Mourning Year  You may be interested to listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes exploring grief and loss, including Finding Meaning: the Sixth Stage of Grief with David Kessler, What You’ve Been Told About Death Might be Wrong, with Dr Kathryn Mannix, and  Getting Out of Your Own Way with Christina Patterson.  Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall   

Many older people, particularly women, are “divorce-curious”. They wonder about life on the other side of a tired marriage, and feel that perhaps it isn’t too late. Could a divorce be the route to rediscovering passion, stimulation and new experiences? Others are in the position of having a divorce thrust upon them, and are left to work through the pain and upheaval a split can cause in later life, both for themselves and the family unit. Linda Hershman is an expert on the “silver divorce” and has worked extensively to help couples navigate divorce. In this episode, Linda and Andrew discuss: ⭐️ Deciding whether it is in fact your relationship that’s the problem ⭐️ First steps if you are among the “divorce-curious” ⭐️ The impact of silver divorce on adult children ⭐️ The practical and financial impact divorce can have, particularly on women ⭐️ Discernment counselling - a style of marital counselling for “mixed-agenda” couples, where one wants to stay and the other wants to leave.  Linda Hershman is the author of Gray Divorce: Everything You Need to Know About Later-Life Breakups. She has worked as a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years, and has presented internationally on silver divorce and the adult children of divorce. Linda lives in Philadelphia and loves knitting, hiking and travelling.      Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there. Read Linda Hershman’s book Gray Divorce: Everything You Need to Know About Later-Life Breakups   Learn more about discernment counselling Read Andrew’s blog ‘Are You Facing Long-Term Marriage Problems? How to Avoid the “Silver Divorce”’   Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall   

Christina Patterson found herself in the heartbreaking position of being the last one left in a loving and beloved family. She took on the task of writing the story of her family and her place in it. In the process, Christina explored the ways in which our personal history can cause us to “get in our way”, self-sabotaging as we work through the suffering experienced both by ourselves and others in the family. Christina and Andrew also discuss: Living with mental illness Finding and losing religion  Loss and grief The healing effects of writing Christina Patterson lives and works in London as a broadcaster and coach, as well as being the author of two memoirs, Outside, the Sky is Blue and The Art of Not Falling Apart.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there. Read Christina Patterson’s new book Outside, the Sky is Blue: A Family Memoir, and her first book The Art of Not Falling Apart Listen to Christina Patterson’s podcast and read her Substack newsletter on The Art of Work. Follow Christina Patterson on Twitter @queenchristina_ Visit Christina Patterson’s website  Christina Patterson’s list of some of the memoirs by other authors she has most enjoyed reading: Bad Blood by Lorna Sage Giving Up the Ghost by Hilary Mantel Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight: An African Childhood by Alexandra Fuller. Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall  Read Andrew’s memoirs My Mourning Year and The Power of Dog. Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can help you achieve the change you want Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall   

Doing a lot of things won’t get you where you want to go. According to “Digital Dale Carnegie” and best-selling author Erik Qualman, it’s become increasingly hard to achieve the things that mean the most to us. Modern life splinters our attention span and makes it extremely challenging to hone in on what matters.  Erik Qualman interviewed hundreds of people for his book, The Focus Project, including parents, teachers and entrepreneurs. They all felt that success depended on the extent to which they had been able to focus on their goals.  In this episode, Andrew and Erik talk about how to do the important things, rather than doing too many things. In fact, doing LESS is likely to leave you more successful and more fulfilled. Erik Qualman is a five times best-selling author and keynote speaker. He has spoken in over 55 countries and was voted the second most likeable author in the world. His work on Socialnomics has been used by organisations including NBC and NASA. He has an honorary doctorate for his work on the digital universe, and is the founder of Equalman Studios. Follow Up   Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there. Visit Erik Qualman’s website Read Erik Qualman’s book The Focus Project: The Not So Simple Art of Doing Less  Read Erik Qualman’s other books, including Socialnomics, Digital Leader and What Happens on Campus Stays on YouTube. Follow Erik Qualman on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @equalman Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. You might also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Professor Dilip Jeste about Five Ways to Become Wiser. Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier: https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/wake-up-and-change-your-life-how-to-survive-a-crisis-and-be-stronger-wiser-and-happier/  Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall   

Sometimes things feel way too complicated. You’re working hard, taking care of your family, you have enough money - but things still just don’t feel right. You push on, looking forward to your next holiday or a night out with friends, but the day to day is grey and exhausting.  Wellness practitioner, CEO, yoga instructor and clinical social worker Julie Wald specialises in working with people who are close to burnout. She cuts through the wellness noise all around us to zero in on what it is we actually need to change in order to feel good.  And it isn’t the big things like careers, partners or home. It’s HOW we live each day. Andrew and Julie also discuss Julie’s four pillars of wellness: ⭐️ Movement ⭐️ Stillness ⭐️ Touch ⭐️ Nourishment Julie Wald is the founder and CEO of Golden, a global leader in wellness education and employee self-care programs. She is the author of the Amazon #1 bestselling book, Inner Wealth: How Wellness Heals, Nurtures and Optimizes Ultra-Successful People. In August, Women We Admire named her one of The Top 100 Women Leaders in Healthcare of 2021.   Follow Up   Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there. Read Inner Wealth, Julie Wald’s new book. Visit Golden, Julie Wald’s website. Follow Julie Wald on social media: on Instagram @hey.its.golden, and on Facebook and LinkedIn @heyitsgolden  Get in touch with Julie Wald at  julie@heyitsgolden.com  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.  Read Andrew’s advice on keeping a journal of your life and emotions Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall   

David Kessler is one of the world’s best-known experts on grief, yet nothing could prepare him for the loss of his beloved son at the age of 21. Just as he’d advised his clients for decades, David attended grief groups, saw a therapist and sat with his pain.  In this episode, Andrew and David discuss how society wants us to grieve versus the reality of loss. We will likely never “get over” the loss of someone close to us, nor will we learn life lessons that somehow compensate us for our pain. It is possible, though, to locate meaning in how we survive and experience loss. Andrew and David also explore Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s famous and now much contested “five stages of grief” (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) and discuss how useful they are in today’s landscape. David Kessler’s new book is Finding Meaning:The Sixth Stage of Grief. His previous books have been praised by Saint (Mother) Theresa, and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. He has co-authored two books with Louise Hay and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. David also creates online communities who take courses together to learn more about the process of grieving.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there. Join David Kessler’s online healing group, Healing the Five Areas of Grief. Visit David Kessler’s website to explore resources including videos, webinars, books and training courses. Follow David Kessler on Twitter and Instagram @IamDavidKessler and on Facebook @DavidKessler.   Read Andrew’s book on grieving the loss of his partner My Mourning Year You may also wish to listen to Andrew’s interview with palliative care physician and author Dr Kathryn Mannix, What You’ve Been Told About Death Might Be Wrong. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50  

Shame is one of the emotions we find hardest to talk about. It can feel paralysing, and is linked to despair, imposter syndrome, fear and the sense of an impending doom.  This week’s guest, psychologist and author Dr Stephan Poulter, is the author of Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free.  Andrew and Dr Poulter discuss how shame makes us feel - paralysed, unclean, not good enough, defective - and how we can reduce its impact on our lives. As Dr Poulter states, “the best analogy is this gold brick inside you. Shame covers it with mud. Our work is to hose off the mud, and find the gold brick”. Dr. Stephan B. Poulter, Ph.D is a psychologist, author and public speaker  working in Los Angeles. He is also a theological seminary graduate and a former police officer. Dr Poulter has worked with hundreds of individuals, couples and families, and regularly speaks on parenting, adolescent and spiritual/psychological issues.    Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there Buy Dr Stephan Poulter’s books, including Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free, The Art of Successful Failure and The Father Factor. Follow Dr Stephan Poulter on Twitter @StephanPoulter and on Facebook @DrStephanPoulter-PsychotherapistandAuthor   Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can help you manage difficult emotions: Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling Fear is a close companion to shame. You may also enjoy Andrew’s interview with Thom Rutledge on Embracing Fear in Four Steps Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall   

Teenagers have a big reputation for being hard to talk to. How can you find that spark of connection with your teen? Is there a way to set up a channel of communication so that you can help them through the rough patches? In this episode Andrew talks to Australian teacher and author Daisy Turnbull about her new book, 50 Questions to Ask Your Teens. Daisy shares insights from her work as a teacher, as well as from her own teenage years growing up in a household where both parents had high-profile and demanding careers. Building a habit of positive communication with teenagers is possible, according to Daisy. Strategies include: ⚡️Asking “what do you think about that?”, and “tell me more?”. ⚡️Having some family rituals, such as a gratitude practice around the dinner table.  ⚡️Choosing your moment: car-trips are perfect as they don’t require direct eye contact and are timebound. Andrew and Daisy also discuss the impact of social media on teens, building kids' independence and confidence, managing your career around your family and sharing parenting responsibilities. Daisy Turnbull is an author, teacher, mother and Lifeline volunteer who lives in Sydney, Australia. Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there. Read Daisy Turnbull’s books 50 Questions to Ask Your Teens and 50 Risks to Take With Your Kids. Follow Daisy Turnbull on Twitter @ms_dzt Watch "It's Not About the Nail", the hugely popular YouTube video mentioned by Daisy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Read Andrew’s book on building a stronger relationship as parents: I Love You But You Always Put Me Last: How to Child-Proof Your Marriage Listen to some of our other parenting episodes: Philippa Perry on on What You Wish Your Parents Knew & What You Hope Your Children Learn, Lisa Marchiano on Being a Mother, Jack Underwood on Becoming a Father, Anita Cleare on Positive Parenting  Amanda Seyderhelm on Coping With Childhood Grief.   Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall