The Meaningful Life with Andrew G. Marshall

Is it possible to fall in love with your partner over and over again? Can you hope to hold onto passionate sex as you grow older together? This week Andrew is joined by Dr Cheryl Fraser, an author, Buddhist teacher, psychologist and sex therapist. They explore the nature and longevity of passion, including: ⭐️Libido and why it can wane over time ⭐️How mindfulness works in the bedroom ⭐️The “passion triangle” - intimacy, thrill, sensuality. Dr Cheryl Fraser is the author of Buddha’s Bedroom, and the host of the Sex, Love and Elephants podcast. She also runs an online programme for couples, Become Passion. Dr Cheryl has helped thousands of couples jump-start their love life and create passion that lasts a lifetime. She lives in Vancouver, where she has a thriving private practice in sex and couples therapy. She is regularly featured in Mindful and Best Health magazines. Dr Cheryl was also a Fulbright scholar, and has studied meditation and Buddhism for twenty-five years, in both the Tibetan and Theravaden traditions. Subscriber Content This Week If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing: ⭐️Cheryl & Andrew on 3 big relationship myths ⭐️How Buddhism’s 4 Noble Truths can lead to a more loving, connected relationships.  ⭐️3 things Cheryl knows to be true. ⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees. Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack publication, The Meaningful Life Learn more about Dr Cheryl’s online immersion program for couples, Become Passion. It will be offered only once in 2022, in October. Join the waitlist here.  Sign up to receive Lovebytes, Dr Cheryl’s tips and techniques to help you create love that lasts a lifetime. Read Dr Cheryl’s book, Buddha’s Bedroom  Listen to Dr Cheryl’s podcast Sex, Love and Elephants  Follow Dr Cheryl on Facebook and YouTube  Read Andrew’s book I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You  Read Andrew’s blog Seven Secrets for Making Marriage Last  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

This week we are celebrating our 100th episode. To mark the occasion, we have a very special guest: Julia Samuel MBE, who is one of the UK’s foremost psychotherapists, as well as an author and an expert on grief.  Julia and Andrew discuss: ⭐️How grief and loss pass from generation to generation ⭐️How you can protect your own children from generational trauma ⭐️Using boundaries, rituals and positive conflict techniques to help your family heal. Subscriber Content This Week If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing: ⭐️Julia’s 12 touchstones for the wellbeing of a family. ⭐️3 things Julia knows to be true. ⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees. Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there Read Julia Samuel’s book Every Family has a Story: How We Inherit Love and Loss Read Julia Samuel’s other books This Too Shall Pass : Stories of Change, Crisis and Hopeful Beginnings and Grief Works : Stories of Life, Death and Surviving Take a look at Julia Samuel’s website   Follow Julia Samuel on Facebook and Instagram @JuliaSamuelMBE Listen to other episodes dealing with generational inheritances: Terry Real on Five Traps that Undermine Your Love, Jed Diamond on Your Personal Creation Story and Philippa Perry on What You Wish Your Parents Knew. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.  

Some of us spend years having the same arguments with our partner, on repeat. Others drift into a state of lonely togetherness where we don’t bother to talk about discontents, because it just feels pointless. Joanna Harrison is a marital therapist who has identified five arguments that all couples need to have. If you can work through these issues, your chances of building a healthy, happy relationship are much stronger. In this week’s episode, Andrew and Joanna discuss basic skills for productive conflict, why we try to avoid arguments, and how therapy can help. Subscriber Content This Week If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing: ⭐️Joanna’s examples of practical strategies that have worked best for the couples she sees.  ⭐️Andrew and Joanna’s best piece of advice for couples struggling to disagree productively. ⭐️3 things Joanna KNOWS to be true. ⭐️AND subscribers can also explore a rich trove of bonus material on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and all his previous guests.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there  Get Joanna Harrison’s book Five Arguments All Couples (Need to) Have and Why the Washing-Up Matters  Take a look at Joanna Harrison’s website https://joannaharrison.co.uk  Follow Joanna Harrison on Twitter @JoCoupleTherapy and on Instagram @joannaharrisoncoupletherapist  Listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes on marriage and relationships: Dr Terry Real on Five Traps that Undermine Your Love and Matthew Fray on How Good People Mess Up Their Marriages  Read Andrew’s book I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.   

Society encourages us to focus hard on “doing, achieving and having”. According to Professor Paul Gilbert, though, we would likely be much happier if we instead worked on being more compassionate to ourselves and others. In this episode Andrew and Paul discuss: ⭐️Why being compassionate ISN’T being weak ⭐️Three key pillars of compassion: assertiveness, forgiveness & apology ⭐️Why compassion increases feelings of contentment and wellbeing.  ⭐️Exercises you can do to become more compassionate ⭐️The vagus nerve and its role in regulating anxiety and moods. Professor Paul Gilbert Paul Gilbert FBPsS, PhD, OBE is the Founder and President of The Compassionate Mind Foundation. He is also Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and honorary visiting Prof at the University of Queensland. Paul was made a Fellow of the British Psychological Society in 1993, president of the BABCP for 2002-2004, and was a member of the first British Government’s NICE guidelines for depression. He has written/edited 23 books and over 300 papers and book chapters. He was awarded an OBE by the Queen in March 2011 for services to mental health.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there.  Read Paul Gilbert’s book The Compassionate Mind See Paul Gilbert’s other books   Paul Gilbert is the Founder and President of The Compassionate Mind Foundation  Follow the Compassionate Mind Foundation on Facebook @CompMindFound, on Twitter @CompMindFound, on Instagram @compassionatemind_foundation and on LinkedIn.  Learn more about the vagus nerve - “Everything you need to know about the vagus nerve” in Medical News Today and “This Nerve Influences Nearly Every Internal Organ. Can It Improve Our Mental State, Too?” in The New York Times. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.  

What if divorce were not the end? This week’s podcast guests, Tommy and Gina Mulligan, share their journey from acrimonious divorce back to happy coupledom. Tommy and Gina started out as high school sweethearts and grew up together to create a happy life and family. As Tommy’s career accelerated, however, they encountered problems with work/life balance, gendered relationship stereotypes and a problematic dynamic that sometimes felt more like a parent and child than a married couple.  Later, however, they were able to rediscover their spark and develop their own unique approach to starting over. This involved working on communication skills, but also agreeing to parcel away the bad times and start again from the point where there had been harmony.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there Follow Tommy and Gina on Twitter @2ndtimearound22 Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook – Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship Listen to some of our other episodes on marriage and relationships - including Irene Fehr on Why Desire Disappears in Committed Relationships and Terry Real on The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love . Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.   

Do you fall too easily into the role of rescuer in your relationships? Being the eternal rescuer is exhausting, and it tends to cast those around you in the roles of victim and persecutor.  Or, often, you and your partner will switch between the roles, caught in an eternal and unproductive “drama triangle”. None of the three roles are likely to allow true self-expression, and getting stuck in this cycle is draining and dispiriting. This week Andrew talks with psychotherapist, spiritual teacher and author Chris Partridge about escaping the rescuer role, and developing the spiritual muscle to be able to really understand what your emotions are telling you.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there  Buy Chris Partridge’s book Wake Up: What Are Your Emotions Really Telling You? Visit Chris Partridge’s website Follow Chris Partridge on Facebook @WakeUpGuideBook and on Instagram @wakeupguide   Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook – Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship Listen to some of our other episodes on marriage and relationships - including Irene Fehr on Why Desire Disappears in Committed Relationships and Terry Real on The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love . Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.   

To forgive is one of the biggest choices we can make. It can allow us to let go of painful suffering, to move on and to find peace for ourselves.  Yet forgiveness tends to be something of a minefield. Many feel that it means letting people who have hurt them back into their lives (which definitely need not be the case). Nor is forgiveness the same thing as saying that historic mistreatment was OK. And if forgiveness is compelled by religion or a strict sense of morality, it may not bring the same easing of hurt and suffering. In this episode Andrew and forgiveness expert Dr Frederic Luskin discuss how to go about the task of forgiving someone, and the impact this can have on the rest of your life. Whether it is infidelity, financial dishonesty or parental failings, forgiving someone who has wronged you can ultimately mean that you can be “a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell”.    Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there Buy Dr Frederic Luskin’s book Forgive for Good Explore Dr Frederic Luskin’s work on forgiveness at the Forgive for Good website  Take a look at the Stanford University Forgiveness Project  Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Listen to our episodes on infidelity - How to Rebuild Trust with Dr Caroline Madden and Lessons from My Recovery with infidelity survivors Lisa Arends and Helen Tower. Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.   

After nearly dying from an ectopic pregnancy, writer Georgina Scull confronted some of life’s big questions: Why do we drift through life, planning for tomorrow but not living for today?  Why do we stay in relationships that no longer make us content, or in jobs that fill us with dread?  Why do we allow our doubts to stop us trying new things, or let people treat us badly? Georgina chose to answer these questions in a unique way: she created a podcast and then a book in which she interviewed people who were dying. She asked each interviewee about their regrets, which ranged from long-lost love never pursued, to leaving behind children too young to remember their mother.  In this episode, Andrew and Georgina discuss what we can learn from the dying, and the many reasons for living in the moment rather than chasing the perfect body, the next promotion or a bigger house.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there. Read Georgina Scull’s new book Regrets of the Dying: Stories and Wisdom That Remind Us How to Live Listen to Georgina Scull’s podcast Regrets of the Dying  Follow Georgina Scull on Twitter @georginascull Listen to other episodes including Dr Kathryn Mannix on What You’ve Been Told About Death Might be Wrong, and David Kessler on Finding Meaning: the Sixth Stage of Grief.   Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.   

Why do women stop wanting sex? Why is it so hard to recapture the intoxicating desire of those wonderful early weeks and months of your relationship? Irene Fehr has spent a decade working with couples as a sex and intimacy coach. Her specialty is women’s libido and sexual desire in long-term relationships. In this episode Andrew and Irene discuss the nature of desire. Unless we understand what compels and creates desire at different life stages, we will not be able to create a passionate, connected sexual life that meets both partner’s needs. As well as understanding desire, there are also practical steps you can take to rekindle your connection. Fencing off time away from your children (including the controversial act of locking the bedroom door) is key; as is taking small amounts of time each day (rather than weekly date nights) to spend in complete, uninterrupted togetherness.  And if you are one of our wonderful Apple, Spotify or Patreon paying subscribers, this week’s bonus material sees Andrew and Irene discussing Seven Common Traps for Couples Making Love. Irene Fehr is a sex and intimacy coach. Her articles and advice on sex, female libido and sexual pleasure are regularly featured in publications including Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan and Thought Catalog.   Follow Up Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there Take Irene Fehr’s free video course on How to Want to Have Sex Again  Learn more about Feed Your Libido, Irene Fehr’s signature online program for women. Visit Irene Fehr’s website Follow Irene Fehr on Twitter and YouTube @ignitedwoman  and on LinkedIn. Read the books discussed in this episode: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sherrie Winston, and The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld. Find out more about Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent  Listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes on sex and relationships: Tracey Cox on Great Sex After Fifty and Dr Terry Real on Five Traps that Undermine Your Love  Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. 

Creating a more meaningful life does not have to happen indoors. Whether it’s writing, meditating, repairing relationships or planning a big life change, doing the work outside surrounded by nature can be calming and inspiring. Psychotherapist Dr Patricia Hasbach is a specialist in ecotherapy. She sees clients outside and also incorporates nature into her therapeutic work indoors. She is a lifelong lover of nature and a profound believer in its power in treating anxiety and depression, and fostering health and wellness. Patricia has recently published Grounded: A Guided Journal to Help You Reconnect with the Power of Nature—and Yourself , an interactive journal designed to engage all of the reader’s five senses, and to deepen our experience of nature.  In this episode Andrew and Patricia discuss nature, awe, the power of green, and how to bring nature inside as part of the therapeutic journey. Dr. Patricia H. Hasbach is a licensed psychotherapist, consultant, author, and college educator. As one of the media’s go-to ecotherapists, she and her work have appeared in numerous outlets including Time, Vogue, Outside Magazine, the Utne Reader, The New York Times Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Christian Science Monitor, and Sierra Magazine. She lives with her husband and two dogs in Oregon, USA.   Follow Up The Meaningful Life has been nominated for a British Podcast Award in the category of Sex and Relationships Podcast. Please do vote for us in the Listeners’ Choice category here. Read Dr Patricia Hasbach’s new book Grounded: A Guided Journal to Help You Reconnect with the Power of Nature—and Yourself  Visit Dr Patricia Hasbach’s website  Follow Dr Patricia Hasbach on Facebook or on LinkedIn  You might also enjoy Andrew’s interview with “joyful environmentalist” Isabel Losada on How to Bring Joy Into Your Life AND Save the Planet  Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall