The Meaningful Life with Andrew G. Marshall

Finding meaning and fulfillment in the second half of life requires us to make a conscious transition. We must explore “the unconscious denial and resistance that erupts around key thresholds of later life” if we are to be happy as elders.  In this episode, psychotherapist and author Connie Zweig, PhD talks with Andrew about how to become an elder who is filled with purpose and vitality. She explains the concept of “shadow-work”, and how it can help you: ⚡️Repair the past and be fully present ⚡️Accept yourself as you are ⚡️Rediscover the creativity you may have lost along the way. ⚡️Move “from role to soul”. Connie Zweig, Ph.D., is a retired psychotherapist, writer, and Climate Reality Leader. Known as the Shadow Expert, she has written several books about shadow-work, as well as her newest best-seller on aging as a spiritual practice, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul. The Inner Work of Age won both the 2021 American Book Fest Award and the 2021 Best Indie Book Award for best inspirational non-fiction.  Connie has been doing contemplative practices for more than 50 years, and is a wife, stepmother and grandmother. After all these roles, she’s practicing the shift from role to soul.   Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. If you're interested in joining one of Dr Connie Zweig's groups, you can email her at The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul. Take a look at Dr Connie Zweig’s other books  Visit Dr Connie Zweig’s website  Follow Dr Connie Zweig on Twitter @InnerWorkofAge and on Facebook at @Dr.ConnieZweig. Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Read Andrew’s blog “How To Avoid the Silver Divorce” Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

Everything is always changing, and nothing is ever the same. If we think about it, we all know that. But we tend to live differently, as though we can hang onto the same fixed self, the same ways of doing things, and the same people around us. Alan Lessik, author and Zen practitioner, is an expert in change. He is known by his friends as someone who takes fearless leaps into new jobs, new countries and new possibilities. He has regularly made life-changes so huge they felt like jumping off a cliff.  In this episode, Andrew and Alan talk about how we deal with change, and the usefulness of the “backward step”. They discuss Alan’s practice of Zen meditation, and Alan shares the following quote from Eihei Dogen, founder of Zen Buddhism in Japan: “You should stop searching for phrases and chasing after words. Take the backward step and turn the light inward. Your body-mind in itself will drop off and your original face will appear. If you want to attain just this (suchness), immediately practice just this (suchness).” Alan Lessik is a writer and novelist, zen practitioner, amateur figure skater, and LGBT activist. He has worked in the US and over twenty-two other countries and has served in leadership positions in numerous non-governmental organizations, university and governmental entities. Alan’s debut novel, The Troubleseeker, was a finalist for the 2017 LGBTQ Fiction Award given by the Publishing Triangle. He recently moved from the US to Berlin, where he is working on two new novels.   Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Find out more about Alan Lessik’s writing and work on his website Watch Alan Lessik’s figure-skating videos on YouTube Follow Alan Lessik on Twitter @AlanLessik Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier If you are interested in meditation and mindfulness, you might also like to listen to Andrew’s interview with Dr Henry Emmons on how to Bring More Calm and Joy Into Your Life Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

If you dread parties, can’t face job interviews, or won’t start scary conversations with your partner, this is the episode for you.  Dr Wendy Suzuki is a neuroscientist and an international expert on anxiety and the brain. Her new book, Good Anxiety, unpacks the science of everyday anxiety in a way that helps us manage it. In this episode, Andrew and Wendy discuss:  ⚡️What “good anxiety” is, and how to channel it in the right direction. ⚡️How anxiety can lead to productivity and creativity. ⚡️Meditation, tea-drinking, and the jujitsu move that turns anxiety around. Dr. Wendy Suzuki is a Professor of Neural Science and Psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University and a celebrated international authority on neuroplasticity. She was recently named one of the 10 women changing the way we see the world by Good Housekeeping. Her TED talk has more than 31 million views on Facebook, and her  first book Healthy Brain Happy Life was recently made into a PBS special.     Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Read Dr Wendy Suzuki’s book Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion Visit Dr Wendy Suzuki’s website Connect with Dr Wendy Suzuki on social media: find her on Instagram @wendy.suzuki, on Twitter @wasuzuki and on Facebook @WendyASuzuki Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can improve your life: Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling  If anxiety is a topic of interest for you, you may also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Richard Paterson: No More Overthinking  Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

“Within your mind, body and soul YOU have an untapped potential that wants to be unleashed. It calls to you in your dreams and whispers to you when your mind goes silent. It is relentless because it knows you are capable of more than you give yourself credit for” (George Mumford) George Mumford used his insights into pain, mindfulness and performance to enrich the careers of athletes including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal. George then realised that his ideas could help people “from locker rooms to board rooms, Yale to jail”, and so took his work beyond the sporting arena, including writing a book, The Mindful Athlete.  In this episode, Andrew and George discuss mindfulness, George’s journey through pain and addiction, and George’s five superpowers: ⚡️Mindfulness ⚡️Concentration ⚡️Insight ⚡️Right Effort ⚡️Trust   Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Read George Mumford’s book, The Mindful Athlete   Take The Mindful Athlete course Subscribe to George Mumford’s YouTube channel  Follow George Mumford on Twitter @gtmumford and on Facebook Read Andrew’s advice on keeping a journal of your life and emotions  Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

Some of us try our best never to think about death, while some of us “live in death’s basement”. Composer, academic and psychoanalyst Paul Attinello lived through the suffering and loss of the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s. After testing positive for HIV, he built a creative and achievement-filled life, over which death nevertheless always loomed.  Then, the advent of lifesaving medications changed everything. Paul had to define a whole new relationship with mortality, as well as experiencing a profound sense of loss for what life might have been like without the spectre of HIV.  In this episode, Andrew and Paul discuss music, psychoanalysis, and the different ways humans live with the knowledge of their own mortality. Paul Attinello is an academic and psychoanalyst based in Newcastle University’s International Centre for Music Studies. He also taught at the University of Hong Kong and UCLA, living and working on four continents in the past three decades.    Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Find out more about Paul Attinello's work and writing here  Take a look at Paul Attinello’s research work  Watch Psychosocial Wednesdays, a YouTube channel hosted by Paul Attinello and his colleagues. It offers weekly salons on Jungian ideas and other aspects of psychoanalysis. Read Andrew’s memoir on grieving the loss of his partner, My Mourning Year Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier: 

Is society setting you up to fail in your marriage? World-renowned relationship therapist Terry Real sees a toxic culture of individualism troubling society at every level. We are told to strive for personal productivity and perfection, ignoring the fact that we exist in a web of crucial relationships. In this episode, Terry describes research showing that the mind exists in a social context, and that couples in fact co-regulate each other’s nervous systems. Getting this right is very tricky, though, if you grew up without enough emotional support. The survival strategies that got you through childhood may, in fact, “torch your personal relationships”. Andrew and Terry discuss the five most common traps that can undermine your relationship: 🚩 Needing to be right 🚩 Controlling your partner 🚩 Unbridled self-expression 🚩 Retaliation 🚩 Shutting down We can overcome these, however, by tapping into our wiser, more collaborative self. If we can find the “us” rather than the “I”, we can achieve the warmer, more intimate relationships many of us long for.  Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.  Buy Terry Real’s new book Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (out 22 March 2022). Take a look at Terry Real’s other books, including The New Rules of Marriage and How Can I Get Through to You? Visit Terry Real’s website https://terryreal.com  Follow Terry Real on Facebook and YouTube @TerryRealRLI  Read Andrew’s blog “Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship”  Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

Lots of us are afraid of the very word: fear. We’d rather say anxiety, or worry, or panic.  Yet according to Thom Rutledge, fear underlies most difficult emotions, and is a close companion to shame. Fear plays into just about every decision we ever make in our lives. To defeat fear, according to Thom, is neither possible nor desirable. Instead we need to live beyond its control, and to understand it. Rather than squashing down the voices of panic and dread, we can face up to them, explore them and respond.  In this episode Andrew and Thom explore: ✅ The meaning of fear ✅ How we can understand fear in our own lives ✅ How our family background shapes our experience of fear ✅ Four ways we can start to “embrace fear”. Thom Rutledge has been a psychotherapist for more than 40 years and is the author of several books, including Embracing Fear, The Self-Forgiveness Handbook, Earning Your Own Respect, The Greater Possibilities and What Love Is. He draws on professional training and experience as well as his own personal experience in recovery and personal growth to work with his clients. Thom and his colleague, Dr. Allen Berger, co-host their own weekly podcast, Emotional Sobriety. Follow Up   Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Visit Thom Rutledge’s website Read Thom Rutledge’s books, including Embracing Fear.  Listen to Emotional Sobriety, a podcast co-hosted by Thom Rutledge and Dr Allen Berger. Follow Thom Rutledge on Twitter @ThomRutledge Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can help deal with difficult emotions: Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling  If anxiety is a topic of interest for you, you may also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Richard Paterson: No More Overthinking Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

“So he’s become the real love of my life. But if I’d been following my old ways of looking for men I wouldn’t have noticed him”. If you’re following your heart and trusting to the universe in your search for midlife love, you may need to take a step back and rethink your approach.  This week’s guest, Dr Mairi Macleod, is the founder of Dating Evolved, a science-based dating consultancy. Mairi helps women look for partners in a more thoughtful and successful way. We are often told to “trust your gut” when it comes to relationships, but Mairi explains why this approach can be unrewarding. In this episode, she describes to Andrew how her own love life was going somewhat disastrously, and how this inspired her to use her training as an evolutionary biologist to create a science-based strategy to find a partner. Andrew and Mairi also discuss confidence, enjoying the journey and having a good hard think about why you’re attracted to a certain kind of person.  Dr Mairi Macleod is an evolutionary biologist, consultant, speaker, and science writer. She  runs online programs and coaches women in small groups to help them build happy, loving relationships.    Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Join Mairi Macleod's free Masterclass: "Getting Ready for Successful Dating - for Women over 50" on April 4th at 7pm BST You can find out about Mairi’s Dating Evolved programs, read her blog, and sign up for her upcoming Free Masterclass at https://www.datingevolved.com  If you’d like to read Mairi’s “5 Science-Based Ways to Find the Man You Need”, download your free e-copy here Join the Dating Evolved Facebook Community and ask all your dating questions. Follow Mairi Macleod on Twitter @dr_mairi and on Facebook @MairiMacleodPhD  Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship  You may also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Cate Mackenzie on the art of flirting  Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation” (Henry Thoreau).  Therapist Simon Roe has based his life’s work on helping men live an authentic life. After himself going through a period of quiet desperation in his mid-thirties, Simon went on to help men break the silence, find “the song inside” and overcome their experiences of depression, violence and loneliness.  Simon has also worked extensively with boys and their fathers to create rites of passage that can help boys claim a strong, authentic sense of their developing manhood. Simon Roe originally trained as a body psychotherapist, and is also a co-leader of the Mandorla Men’s Rites of Passage programme. He has worked extensively with perpetrators of domestic violence, and is a Respect approved trainer and supervisor. Simon has completed a foundation course in Process Oriented Psychology.  Simon and Andrew also discuss the idea of answering “the call to adventure”, an idea powerfully captured in this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke:   Sometimes A Man Stands Up During Supper Sometimes a man stands up during supper and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking, because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.   And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.   And another man, who remains inside his own house, dies there, inside the dishes and in the glasses, so that his children have to go far out into the world toward that same church , which he forgot.   Follow Up I'll be attending a workshop on masculinity in times of change and crisis with Simon Roe & his colleague William Ayot in Feb/Mar 2023. I'd love you to join us. Details are here Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Visit Simon Roe’s website  Learn about the Kingfisher Project, a community dedicated to rites of passage for boys aged 13-16.  Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Read Andrew’s thoughts on what to do if you or your partner feel like you’re in the throes of what society would call a midlife crisis   Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

How can we help our children understand grief and loss? How can we recover as adults, if no-one helped us make sense of grief and loss as a child? Amanda Seyderhelm is an expert in innovative creative play therapy for children, and the author of a book called Helping Children Cope with Loss and Change. Amanda changed careers to work in play therapy after a life-threatening illness changed everything for her. In this episode Amanda and Andrew discuss:  🌈 How to talk to children who are grieving. 🌈 How storytelling plays a part in personal and family grief. 🌈 Your “backpack of grief”: what’s inside, and how it’s affecting your life. 🌈 How children & adults learn to “grow around their grief” rather than recovering.   Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. Take a look at Amanda Seyderhelm’s website Buy Amanda Seyderhelm’s book Helping Children Cope with Loss and Change at a 20% discount for The Meaningful Life listeners. Just use code FLA22 at checkout.  Follow Amanda Seyderhelm on Twitter @TheKidDecoder on Instagram @amandaseyderhelm and on LinkedIn. Read The Hero’s Journey: Joseph Campbell on his Life and Work Read Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief by Dennis Klass If you’re interested in diving deep into parenting, listen to Lisa Marchiano of the This Jungian Life podcast speaking with Andrew about meaning and motherhood. Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall