Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

Ok, this might be a weird thing for me to admit... but, before this week's conversation, although I knew what polyamory was I hadn't really thought about the fact that there is a whole subculture around it, and that includes slang terms and specific inter-relational concepts... But, of course there is! That's just what human beings do! So, this was a useful conversation for me to help expand my vocabulary and think a bit differently.. And, who enlightened me? Well, it's Canadian stand up comedian Rush Kazi, who joined me to share stories about Zelda's, a diner that was in Toronto's gaybourhood in the 90s and 00s. Along the way we talk about biphobia, the bestest way to prevent UTIs, and how to dump 15 people simultaneously via text message. Do you have any memories of Zelda's, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Rush by visiting their website (https://www.rushkazi.com/), or following them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/rushkazi/) or Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/RushZillaComedy)

Sometimes I'm really taken aback by what an absolute privilege it is to do this job, and how people can be so open and honest with me. And I think it's a real honour that I get to help amplify the stories, and get the opportunity to really examine my own queerness and how that's shaped who I am. Maybe that's all a little bit too sentimental? Let's get on with what this show is about this week. I am joined by the British comedian, Jacob Truman, who sat down with me to talk about a small-town gay bar that was in the city where he went to University. The kicker? He never had the bravery to step foot in the place. So you've probably already guessed that this one's going to be heavy, but but I promise it's a good one. We talk all about making all of your decisions from a position of fear, being too scared to come out to your identical twin brother, and what it's like to glimpse through that sliver of a window at a life that you aren't brave enough to start for yourself. Do you have any memories of Christopher’s, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Jacob by visiting his Instagram and TikTok (@jacobtrueman)

This week we are headed to Stonewall! Only not THAT Stonewall (sorry if I got your hopes up)... No, instead of the bright lights of New York city we are headed to small town Oklahoma, to visit the Stonewall Tavern in a town named Stillwater. And whilst this bar wasn't technically a gay bar, it did create a safe environment and give people space to be themselves and figure out who they are. And one of the people who went there is Anthony Criswell, who is one of the hosts of the Beards and Sundries podcast alongside his husband Joe and their friend Jay (who you may remember from a recent episode of the show!). One of the things that I love most about this conversation is that Anthony is a recovering people pleaser, and he gives us some advice on how to assert yourself in your relationships (which I, of course, immediately start to overthink and over-examine, but, hey, that's what you've come to expect from this show, right?). Do you have any memories of Stonewall Tavern, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Anthony by listening to his show, Beards and Sundries, wherever you find podcasts. And, you can also follow the show on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beardsandsundries

Before anything else I need to give a huge apology to this week's guest. When we were originally arranging to talk I was very strict with him and firmly said that we could only talk about one lost space and not, as he wanted, talk about the entire shifting queer scene in Toronto.... But... well... you can probably guess when happened when we got together to chat. We went ALL over the place (which is a good thing! The chat is A+)! So, although we originally got together to talk about Toronto's 'The Steady', (which you might remember as I was lucky enough to interview the venue's owner, Keaton Kash last year), the conversation takes in a number of other spaces and nights. We talk about dates that never end, throwing the perfect bachelorette party, and being so conscientious that you take the time to come out to everyone in your life individually... Do you have any memories of The Steady, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Johnnie by visiting his website (https://johnniemcnamarawalker.com/), or following them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/johnniemcnamarawalker) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/handsomejohnnie). If you liked this episode I'd really appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on your podcast platform, or just tell people that you think might be interested! I am K Anderson, and you've been listening to Lost Spaces

So, I had a bit of an a-ha moment fairly early in to this week's conversation, and it's something that I've been wrestling with and trying to reconcile ever since. For most of my childhood I had to just suck it up and accept that things were a bit shitty, because in the back of my mind I told myself that one day it would all be better. And, so, I ended up tolerating a lot of bad behaviour directed towards me. And, I've started to realise recently that I've brought that mindset in to my adult life, and have continued to tolerate shitty things far beyond what is reasonable. Anyway, that is all to say that I got a lot out of this conversation... And who helped provide that a-ha moment? Why, it's none other than comedian Jeena Bloom. Now, Jeena wanted to talk about queer spaces that she'd never even been to, but which existed in her small-town Florida 90s childhood as these almost fabled places that everyone in town knew as the gay and lesbian bar. She shares why those places were special to her even though she never set foot in them. We also talk all about mid-life crises, sugar daddies, and being meant for the big city. Do you have any memories of Dockside, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Jeena by visiting her website (https://www.jeenabloom.com/), or following her on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/jeenabloom/), or Twitter (https://twitter.com/jeenabloom).

Straight people are great. Well, most straight people are. Or... some straight people are? Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that despite the fact that straight people are ok (-ish) sometimes you just need a good ol' queer friend to help show you the world. And, when most of your friends are straight people you can just end up going to where they want to go and do the things that they want to do. And this can kind of get in the way of you developing in to the queer creature you're meant to be. This is partly what happened to this week's guest, Brian Rowe, the host of A Piece of Pie: The Queer Film Podcast. Brian moved to Chicago from small-town Illinois in the late 90s, and quickly found himself gingerly stepping his big toe in to Spin, a lost space that is so legendary we've already featured it twice on this podcast (once with Alexis P Bevels, and once with BB Kyle). In this episode we talk all about our quest to find identity, the difficulty of making friends, and what kind of sex we think MAGA supporters deserve (but, you probably already know the answer to that). Small town Illinois, moving to the big city, and Looking for identity, trying to make friends, navigating bad dates how straight friends are lovely but sometimes hold you back from getting down —————- Do you have any memories of Spin, or maybe a lost space from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Make sure you listen to Piece of Pie, wherever you stream podcasts. You can also follow the show on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pieceofpiepod/) If you liked this episode I'd really appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on your podcast platform, or just tell people that you think might be interested! I am K Anderson, and you've been listening to Lost Spaces

We talk a lot on this show about the very, very first time that people went to queer spaces, and all of the wonder and dread that comes with that… But, there’s another time that we don’t celebrate enough (and which I think might actually be better), and that is going out in your late 20s… For most people this is a time when you’re a little more settled, a bit less desperate (let's be honest), and you’ve started to ease into yourself and who you are… Which brings us to this week’s episode… Filip Jeremic is a Canadian Comedian and Writer who moved to New York after finishing theatre school in Toronto in 2014. It was here that he lived that 'struggling artist' life, replete with skanky share-houses, taking any old job he could just to stay afloat, and dating older men so that they could buy him dinner .. We caught up to talk about The Rusty Knot in NYC, which technically wasn’t a queer space, but became one on a particular day of the week (which you'll learn about when we get in to the chat). We talk about the joys of day drinking, the thrills of NYC, and I get slightly panicky and moralistic about free alcohol for some reason... Do you have any memories of The Rusty Knot, or maybe a bar or a club from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Filip by visiting his website, http://www.filipjeremic.com/, or following them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/misterfilip).

What do you do when you live in a small town that has no queer presence? Well, you go right ahead and create that presence yourself! At least that's what you'd do if you were this week's guest, the writer of the soon to be released 'Tyranny of the Fey', Terry Bartley. Now, Terry comes from a tiny tiny tiny town called Danville in West Virginia, USA. Just how tiny is it? Well, the population is a mere 600 people! After coming in to a little bit of money Terry decided that he would open his own comic book shop, Spoiler Warning. And, whilst not exclusively queer, he went out of his way to make sure that the space was inclusive, which even included hosting a Pride event right there in that little town. We talk all about falling out of love with religion, realising that not everyone feels the way you do, and being a role model in your community. Let's find out more.... Do you have any memories of Spoiler Warning, or maybe a queer utopia from your own small town that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Terry by visiting his website, https://www.terrybartleywriter.com/, or following him on TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@terrlet) or pre-order his new book 'Tyranny of the Fey'! Or, listen to his podcast, “Most Writers are Fans,” which is all about the intersection between writing and fandom.

One of the things that I've noticed is fairly common in people who come out later in life is just how much of a hurry they are in to experience ALL of the queer shit they've missed out on... And that is what happened to this week's guest, podcaster and voice-over artist Phil Corin, who, upon realising that they may not be heterosexual was on a mission to make their way to the New York City lesbian bar Meow Mix (1996 - 2004). And once they got in to the bar? Well, the gloves were off, but you'll have to listen to the episode to find out the whole story... In this episode we chat all about coming out tactics, lesbian pulp fiction, and.... our complicated feelings about single-gender spaces... Do you have any memories of Meow Mix, or maybe a bar or a club from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Phil by visiting their website, https://philcorin.com/, or following them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/philcorin/). Phil also hosts the Transition of Style podcast, and co-hosts the I'm From Driftwood podcast, so make sure you go and check those out.

So, this might be the saddest episode we've ever had... And, I don't say that in a sensationalist way! I mean it legitimately. So, if you're not in the right headspace to listen to a sad chat then maybe come back to this episode another time. But, for those of you who are in the mood for a little contemplation let me tell you all about my guest, Robert Black. Robert is probably best known as being a porn star, and in fact is this year celebrating 25 years in the business! But he's also much more than that, obviously, and in the last few years he's launched his own podcast, Sexual Heroes, and youtube channel which gives practical tips about self-care and sex for queer men. But today we are going back in time to when he was but a young 18 year old going out on the scene for the first time. And, the bar he went to, Casa Lido in Trenton, New Jersey, quickly became his second home. It was here that so many important life events happened for him, helping him figure out who he was and what he wanted from life... So, I've already said it's a sad chat. But, there's always light and shade in these things - during the chat we talk all about this concept of chosen family and what that means to each of us, the joy of the dancefloor, and I get a bit of a flirting lesson from Robert... Do you have any memories of Casa Lido, or maybe a queer coffee shop from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Robert by visiting his website (https://www.robertblack.one/), or following him on Twitter (https://twitter.com/robertblackxxx). Or, why not check out the Sexual Heroes podcast and Robert's youtube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@robertblackvideos) which includes wellness and sex tips for men.