The Grounded Union Podcast

In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, Caitlyn and Brandon Doerksen honestly navigate the difficult experience of betrayal and the long journey toward restoring safety and trust in their marriage. Season 2 opens with the couple addressing their most requested topic: how to heal when trust is shattered. Caitlyn shares her vulnerable story as the betrayed spouse, including years of repeated deception and the critical moment she established firm boundaries. Brandon explores the difference between passive and active betrayal and emphasizes that good intentions are not enough without true inner transformation. Together, they explain why wounded partners shouldn’t be expected to maintain composure, how denial covers up deeper wounds, and why many couples get caught in destructive cycles. Filled with raw storytelling and practical advice, this episode is a must-listen for those seeking hope after betrayal.Dates and locations for our 2025 Grounded Union workshops & intensives:📍San Diego, CA – In-Person & Virtual (August 22nd & 23rd)🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:29 - Season 2, Episode 2: Brandon and Caitlyn open up about healing betrayal, rebuilding trust, and their journey to healing together.00:01:51 - Active and passive betrayal: Brandon explains the difference between overt actions like cheating and more subtle forms like emotional withdrawal.00:06:00 - Repeating deception cycles: Caitlyn shares the exhausting pattern of betrayal and false recovery that led to long-term trauma.00:09:00 - False promises and deeper harm: Brandon reflects on how surface-level commitments and dismissing Caitlyn’s intuition created further disconnection.00:20:06 - Movement as healing: Caitlyn explains how walking, swimming, and nature helped her process pain and regulate her nervous system.00:25:00 - Redefining real union: Caitlyn challenges performative marriages and emphasizes that true partnership requires mutual truth and commitment.00:31:31 - Reconnecting through embodiment: Brandon shares practical tools—cold showers, breathwork, and movement—that helped him feel again.00:34:16 - Emotional awakening as a couple: Caitlyn highlights the importance of both partners choosing to prioritize healing and emotional presence.00:40:10 - Trust takes time to rebuild: Brandon explains how rebuilding trust is an ongoing process that depends on consistency, honesty, and emotional availability.00:43:00 - Radical responsibility in healing: Brandon and Caitlyn explore how owning your part fully is key to rebuilding intimacy and lasting trust.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen dive deep into a widely debated and often shame-filled topic: being attracted to people other than your spouse. The conversation is sparked by a viral social media post that drew thousands of comments and opposing viewpoints, which the hosts read and respond to throughout the episode. They challenge the common narrative that men are "biologically wired" to be attracted to other people, arguing instead that this is a learned belief system. The discussion gets to the core of why this is such a painful topic for many couples, revealing it often stems from a lack of mutual commitment and a shared vision for the marriage. The hosts offer a surprising revelation: it is possible to create a relationship where you are only attracted to your spouse. This episode provides actionable advice on how to build a stronger, more committed union by shedding old beliefs and intentionally creating the marriage you desire. (Watch the Instagram reel that sparked this episode.)  Dates and locations for our 2025 Grounded Union workshops & intensives:📍San Diego, CA – In-Person & Virtual (August 22nd & 23rd)🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 –  Welcome to Season 2! The hosts start the season with an overview of today’s topic: attraction outside of marriage—and why it's such a hot-button issue. 00:01:40 – Is It Normal to Be Attracted to Others?: Caitlyn reflects on how taboo this conversation is, especially in Christian spaces, and shares her initial thoughts about normalizing attraction.00:06:14 –  The Viral Post Reactions: They read through viral Instagram comments: some encouraging, some skeptical, and others just plain spicy—highlighting diverse audience reactions. 00:06:56 – Recognizing vs. Being Attracted: The difference between recognizing someone is attractive and being attracted to them.00:10:07 – Why Isn’t This Message Taught?: The hosts reflect on the church's silence around emotional integrity in attraction and why this conversation threatens the status quo.  00:25:13 –  The Pinball Machine of Attraction: Every decision begins with contemplation, and even a "harmless" attraction can lead to a deeper desire for connection that ultimately causes a separation in a relationship.  00:28:12 – The Three Roots of Attraction: The core areas that contribute to attraction: past experiences, consumption, and limiting beliefs. 00:35:25 – Unpacking the "Biologically Wired" Argument: Brandon and Caitlyn dismantle the argument that humans are "biologically wired" to be attracted to others by explaining that what we're exposed to and what we consume shapes our beliefs. 00:47:43 – Desire, Disconnection & Avoidance: Brandon reflects on how Caitlyn’s full-hearted devotion exposed his own avoidant behavior and emotional disconnection, and why that pattern was painful to confront.00:56:23 –  This Wasn’t Easy—But It Was Worth It: This level of transformation was born from deep pain and discomfort, especially in the wake of betrayal.

Explore the raw journey of transformation in marriage, where change can't be forced. Discover how self-accountability and open communication serve as catalysts for healing. The hosts delve into personal struggles with betrayal and disconnection, revealing the importance of confronting uncomfortable truths. Learn how embracing responsibility and fostering empathy can rebuild trust and intimacy. This discussion isn't just about saving a marriage; it's about awakening to a fulfilling partnership through personal growth and shared vision.

Discover why your relationship might feel emotionally flat and disconnected. The hosts explore the hidden layers behind emotional distance, sharing personal stories of their own relationship struggles. They emphasize the importance of reducing screen time to foster genuine connections and suggest practical activities like spending time in nature. Honest communication and embracing mindful living are key to rekindling intimacy. Listeners are encouraged to undertake a transformative 30-day journey to reconnect with themselves and their partners.

Explore the transformative power of emotions in healing relationships. Discover how emotional numbness is learned, not innate, and learn to embrace vulnerability. Personal stories illustrate the journey from disconnection to intimacy, aided by movement and open communication. Practical exercises guide couples to reconnect through shared memories and daily affirmations. The importance of empathy and active listening is emphasized, offering tools for deeper emotional connection and understanding.

The hosts tackle the intricacies of sexual brokenness in relationships, emphasizing healing through authentic intimacy. They delve into overcoming shame and addictions, exploring the transformative journey toward connection and trust. Personal stories highlight the shift from objectification to genuine understanding of partners. They advocate for vulnerability in communication, aiming to rebuild after betrayal. This insightful discussion encourages listeners to confront societal narratives about sexuality and embrace their true selves for deeper connections.

Delve into the intricate dynamics of sexual wholeness and its impact on relationships. The hosts share their personal journeys through sexual brokenness, highlighting the necessity of transparency and communication. Discover how societal beliefs about attraction can disrupt intimacy and the significance of personal responsibility in overcoming challenges. Explore the complexities of relapse and the healing power of vulnerability, offering practical strategies for couples to foster deeper connections and confront their sexual histories.

Explore the hidden ways spiritual bypassing can undermine marriages as the hosts share personal experiences of addiction and relationship struggles. They emphasize the importance of addressing deeper issues rather than just relying on faith. Listeners will uncover the challenges of seeking advice from religious leaders and the complexities of attraction within marriage. The discussion advocates for vulnerability, open communication, and a reevaluation of traditional teachings to create healthier, more authentic connections.

Discover how childhood experiences shape adult relationships in surprising ways. The hosts tackle the often-overlooked dynamics of mother-son relationships and their effects on marriages. Listeners will learn the importance of setting boundaries and nurturing open communication for a healthier partnership. Personal stories and practical tools provide deep insights into breaking free from inherited patterns. Reflect on past influences and explore how they impact marital dynamics, leading to transformative conversations and growth.

In a candid exploration, the hosts reveal their eye-opening experiences with counselors who downplayed their marriage struggles. They challenge the notion of accepting 'good enough' healing and emphasize the importance of radical honesty for real intimacy. The discussion dives into the complexities of codependency and the impact of denial on relationships. Listeners are encouraged to confront underlying issues instead of settling for superficial advice, unlocking a deeper connection through openness and accountability.