Why You Should Stop Everything to Save Your Marriage

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen dive deep into why pausing everything else might be the most important decision you ever make for your marriage. They get raw about the hidden costs of busyness, distractions, and avoidance, sharing personal stories from their own journey, including Brandon stepping down from ministry and Caitlyn reclaiming hours in her day, to illustrate how chronic exhaustion and misaligned priorities quietly erode intimacy. This podcast explains why facing pain head-on, regulating your nervous system, and creating space for transformative conversations are essential for rebuilding trust and connection. Packed with practical strategies, from reclaiming time and energy to cutting distractions, this episode is both an urgent wake-up call and a hopeful guide for couples ready to show up fully, prioritize their relationship, and restore lasting intimacy.

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Timestamps & Key Moments:

• 00:00:28 – Why Stop Everything to Save Your Marriage: Brandon opens the conversation, explaining what’s at stake if a marriage is neglected and why giving it full attention is worth every ounce of effort.
• 00:02:36 – Making Healing the #1 Priority: The couple shares how clearing their schedules and mental space to focus solely on repairing their marriage became the turning point in their relationship.
• 00:04:49 – Why Your Kids and Friends Matter: They discuss how the health of a marriage directly influences children, friendships, and social circles, highlighting the broader impact of prioritizing your union.
• 00:07:47 – The Roommate Marriage Problem: Brandon and Caitlyn explore how settling into disconnection and living like roommates can quietly erode intimacy, sometimes worse than divorce.
• 00:09:34 – Three Essentials Every Couple Needs to Heal: Caitlyn outlines the foundational elements of time, energy, and shared effort that every couple must commit to in order to restore their relationship.
• 00:15:02 – Removing Distractions to Reconnect: They provide practical advice on turning off phones, TV, and other distractions to create space for meaningful connection.
• 00:21:32 – Focus Matters: Brandon explains why saying no to volunteering, side projects, and other commitments is essential to saving your marriage.
• 00:27:24 – Leaving Ministry to Save Marriage: Brandon recounts stepping away from ministry and public accolades to focus fully on his marriage, illustrating the cost of true prioritization.
• 00:29:35 – Identity Recreation: Caitlyn discusses how letting go of titles, roles, and societal expectations allowed both partners to reconnect authentically.
• 00:34:02 – Priorities That Never Crumble: They explain the principle of protecting marriage and family above all else as a way to sustain long-term influence and personal fulfillment.
• 00:37:00 – Letting It All Crumble: Brandon shares how allowing work, projects, and public perception to fall apart in 2020 became a necessary step for rebuilding their life together.
• 00:39:07 – Life on the Other Side: They describe the renewed joy, connection, and purpose that emerged after making the hard choices to prioritize marriage above everything else.