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The Best of You

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Nov 3, 2022 • 40min

Episode 27: 7 Ways We Manage Perceptions Instead of Forging Real Connections

We’re kicking off a new series on The Best of You Podcast as we move into the last 2 months of the year.How do you shift from managing the perceptions of others to showing up more authentically?In today’s episode, I cover the 7 ways we tend to manage perceptions and why it doesn’t get us the real connections we crave.I also walk you through an exercise you can do NOW (as in, before the holiday haze sets in) to help you make brave decisions this holiday season.Here’s what we cover:1. What does it mean to manage perceptions and why do we do it?2. The 7 ways we tend to manage perceptions3. The 2 main problems with managing perceptions4. Why we have to “retrain” people (& their expectations of us)5. Examples of steps you can take to honor yourself & your relationships6. How to create your own “Yes/No List” to help you make brave decisions7. The courage it takes to say ‘no’ and how to honor the emotions that inevitably show up when you doFind a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!  Download Abide Sleep and Pray Meditation and text my promo code BESTOFYOU to 22433 today to get 25% off!  Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oct 27, 2022 • 56min

Episode 26: Types of "No" Part 2—How to Say "No" to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee

This week on The Best of You podcast, we're getting into how to say No to toxic behaviors—including practical strategies, scripts, and misconstrued bible passages. There’s no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. A strategy that might work in a healthy releationship won't work with toxicity. It's important to understand the difference.This is a packed episode. Here’s what we discuss:1. Why toxic behaviors require an entirely different type of "no" 2. An overview of toxic behaviors  3. Extreme toxicity and when to cut off a relationship all together 4. 5 steps to implement a boundary with toxic behavior 5. 3 scripts for 3 different situations 6. What about turning the other cheek? 7. How to form a boundaries committeeFind a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsors: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!Chosen—Check out Season 3 in theaters starting November 18th. For more information, visit TheChosenTickets.com.Get a print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oct 20, 2022 • 39min

Episode 25: Types of No Part 1—How to Say "No" in Healthy Relationships

This week and next week on The Best of You podcast, we're getting into 3 types of "No"—including practical strategies, and scripts, for how to say No in different situations. First up is how to say no in healthy relationships. This episode is for you if you struggle to set a boundary, state a preference, or honor your own limits **even with people you know would respect you if you did.**It's hard to disappoint people. It's hard to assert honest needs, wants, and preferences when you've been conditioned to please others, fawn, or always put others first. So today we're focusing on how to exercise your "no muscle" even with people you love.Here's what we discuss:1. Why learning to say “no” is vital for the the ongoing health of your relationships2. 5 steps to develop your “no” muscle 3. Why criticism is tempting and how to avoid it4. How to use “I statements” (and when not to)5. Scripts for 3 different situations6. What about when someone says no to you?7. The hardest category of No I think we all have to faceThanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oct 13, 2022 • 39min

Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil

Today on The Best of You podcast, we’re diving into how to discern toxic vs. healthy patterns of behavior. There is no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. It requires discernment and wisdom; strategy and skill. I discuss what I call the Spectrum of Toxicity and the topic of evil (a topic so many of you have asked me about!)Here’s what we cover:1. What is toxicity? How does it relate to what the Bible calls evil? 2. What about people who are consistently choosing to do harm? 3. The spectrum of toxicity 4. Behaviors that show up on the healthy side of the spectrum 5. Behaviors that show up on the toxic side of the spectrum 6. The key ingredient that distinguishes health from toxicity 7. The best way to become a discerning, wise (& healthier) person. 8. What does the Bible say about toxicity?Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oct 6, 2022 • 41min

Episode 23: Am I wounded or am I sinful?

Today on the podcast, we're diving into this question I keep bumping up against: Am I wounded or am I a sinner? On one hand we go to church, and we’re told you're sinful; you need to repent, you need to die to yourself. On the other hand, we go to therapy, and we're told you're wounded; you've had trauma. You need to heal, so you can become more of your true self. So which one is it? In today's podcast episode, we discuss: 1. What is woundedness and how does it impact our behaviors?  2. What is sin?  3. The problem of shame  4. What about "the other side of sin" - the wounds of the sinned against?  5. What about repentance?  6. An application from the Bible  7. A next step you can take Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 29, 2022 • 33min

Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself

On this week’s podcast we’re talking all about building trust with yourself. This *internal* work is so important to the work of setting healthy external boundaries. I share with you an example from my own life and walk you through a process of connecting more deeply to what’s actually happening inside of you.As you connect more deeply to yourself, the boundaries you set with others will flow from a calmer, clearer place within. Here’s what we cover:1. A promise I made to myself and how it went 2. What to do when you’re activated by someone or something 3. The importance of understanding your own areas of wounding 4. What is a You-Turn? 5. Meeting & honoring the protective parts of you (before acting out of them) 6. How to get to the root of your own hurt (before taking action) 7. Learning to find your voice from that place of clarity deep withinThanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!Thanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 22, 2022 • 40min

Episode 21: Making and Keeping A Promise to Yourself

Today on The Best of You podcast, we're starting a new series on Boundaries and the Bible. And we're starting with what I call the Yes Side of No.So many of us struggle with setting external boundaries because we keep the focus on the other person. But the work of setting boundaries starts inside of you.In today's episode, I walk you through how to build to trust with yourself from the inside out. Here's what we cover:1. Why I don’t believe boundaries start with No 2. Can I really learn to trust myself? 3. What about sin? 4. What is an internal (vs. external) locus of control and why does it matter? 5. Examples of promises you can make to parts of you carrying pain 6. Examples of promises you can make to your body 7. A challenge to you that we'll circle back to next week.Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 15, 2022 • 33min

Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People)

Sometimes living at peace with other people, means living at peace with disappointing them.It’s incredibly important to balance your responsibility to other people with a deep sense of responsibility to your God-given self. It’s not only good for you. It’s good for other people.   Living at peace with yourself is a process of figuring out that balance. Here's what we cover in today's podcast episode:1. How to make peace with yourself 2. Making friends with yourself 3. Living at peace with others 4. Facing your fear of disappointing other people 5. How Jesus disappointed people 6. How to disappoint people with integrityThanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 8, 2022 • 20min

Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You

At the exact moment I began to bring The Best of You to life, I encountered a  trauma that would literally knock me off my feet, forcing me to test everything I hoped to write about. This week is the 2-year anniversary of that trauma. It’s unbelievable to me that this book is coming out next week on 9/13.    In today’s episode, I read this very personal story from the introduction of The Best of You, along with some added commentary. It’s a tender story. Thank you for holding it with me.   Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!  Preorder The Best of You and take advantage of all the bonus resources until midnight on 9/12.   Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here  Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sep 1, 2022 • 37min

Episode 18: Selfhood vs. Selfishness

This week on the podcast, we’re talking about selfhood. Many of us have been taught that "self" is bad. But there’s a big difference between selfhood and selfishness. Furthermore being selfless is not always the right choice.Reclaiming a healthy sense of self is not opposed to faith. In fact, learning to honor yourself goes hand-in-hand with honoring the One who made you.I get personal this week, because this journey is deeply personal for me. We discuss:1. My own story of loving God but not having a self 2. What is the difference between selfhood and selfishness? 3. Why is selfhood key to healthy relationships? 4. How selfhood is the missing first step to setting healthy boundaries 5. What does the bible have to say about selfhood? 6. Jesus’s example of selfhoodThanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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