Magical Overthinkers

Why does walking into a room, saying the wrong thing, or laughing too loud feel like the end of the world? This week, host Amanda Montell (@amanda_montell) is joined by journalist and audio producer Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs) to spiral about social awkwardness and the tiny stumbles and silences that can feel so major in our heads. Together, they explore what awkwardness reveals about vulnerability, belonging, and the impossible standards we hold ourselves to in social spaces. Is awkwardness a flaw to overcome or proof that we’re trying, reaching, and wanting connection? A gentle spiral into shame, empathy, and the small, crooked ways we show up as ourselves.  - Join the "Magical Overthinkers Club" by following the pod on Instagram @magicaloverthinkers.- To access early, ad-free episodes and more, subscribe to the Magical Overthinkers Substack.- Pick up a hard copy of Amanda's book The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality, or listen to the audiobook. Head to https://Greenchef.com/50MAGICAL and use code 50MAGICAL to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

James Kimmel Jr., a lawyer and Assistant Clinical Professor at Yale, joins Amanda Montell to explore our complex relationship with revenge. They discuss how revenge can feel satisfying yet often leaves us wanting more. Kimmel unveils its similarities to addiction, revealing a cycle of temporary relief and prolonged suffering. They highlight the transformative power of forgiveness and the impact of social media on feelings of victimhood. The conversation flows into mindfulness practices and the potential for personal growth beyond vengeance.

“Ditz.” It’s a word that sounds harmless, silly, soft-edged, even cute. But underneath it is a long, messy history of gendered judgment. This week, host Amanda Montell (@amanda_montell) is joined by journalist and author Koa Beck (@koabeck) to gently spiral about the cultural construction of ditziness: where the word came from, who it’s been used against, and what it reveals about how we punish femininity for being either too much… or not enough. Together, they unpack how "ditzy" became shorthand for whiteness, blondness, and a very specific kind of Southern California-coded femininity, despite the fact that the so-called “ditz” in pop culture (Elle Woods, Cher Horowitz, Regina George) is often brilliant, strategic, and socially powerful. Is ditziness a stereotype, a defense mechanism, a flirtation tool, or all three? What happens when smart women lean into softness? And how do internalized misogyny and impossible expectations make it feel safer to play dumb than to risk being called bossy, smug, or shrill? A quietly radical spiral into language, performance, and the politics of not being taken seriously on purpose or by accident. Further Reading: White Feminism: From the Suffragettes to Influencers and Who They Leave Behind By Koa Beck Further Reading: Valley Girl Substack by Koa Beck - Join the "Magical Overthinkers Club" by following the pod on Instagram @magicaloverthinkers. - To access early, ad-free episodes and more, subscribe to the Magical Overthinkers Substack. - Pick up a hard copy of Amanda's book The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality, or listen to the audiobook. Head to https://Greenchef.com/50MAGICAL and use code 50MAGICAL to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping. Head to https://LETSLIVEITUP.com/MAGICAL and use code MAGICAL for 15% off your first Super Greens order! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can you be trained by a gaslighter to gaslight yourself? This week, Amanda (@amanda_montell) is joined by Harvard historian and sociologist Rebecca Lemov (@rebeccalemov) to overthink gaslighting, a word that’s become part of our everyday vocabulary, but whose origins and implications run deeper than we realize. Together, they trace gaslighting’s roots in psychology, politics, and culture, and explore how this slow erosion of truth can shape our relationships, our self-trust, and our collective understanding of reality.A quiet spiral about doubt, distortion, and the radical act of believing yourself.   Further Reading: The Instability of Truth: Brainwashing, Mind Control, and Hyper-Persuasion by Rebecca Lemov - Join the "Magical Overthinkers Club" by following the pod on Instagram @magicaloverthinkers.- To access early, ad-free episodes and more, subscribe to the Magical Overthinkers Substack.- Pick up a hard copy of Amanda's book The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality, or listen to the audiobook. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://SHOPIFY.COM/magical Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/MAGICAL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Get this new customer offer and your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at https://MINTMOBILE.com/magical Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vicki Tan, a digital product designer and author of 'Ask This Book A Question', joins the conversation about the struggles of decision-making. They explore how cognitive biases and personal experiences feed into indecision and anxiety. The duo discusses reframing questions to navigate uncertainties and the emotional weight of choices. They also touch on gender dynamics in decision-making, emphasizing the need for support and understanding. Ultimately, they advocate for embracing the messiness of not knowing while learning to trust one's instincts.

Jessica Zier and Lizzie Li, PhD students at Northwestern University, dive into the fascinating world of parasocial relationships. They explore how one-sided emotional bonds form with public figures in the digital age, revealing the thin line between true connection and projection. The discussion covers everything from the psychological impacts of fandom to the phenomenon of parasocial breakups. They also touch on how social media shapes our identities and the emotional complexities that arise from these intimate yet unreciprocated connections.

The case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it. Listen to Proxy with Yowei Shaw Follow Yowei on Instagram @yoweishaw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when the future is something you have to build, but others get to inherit? This week, host Amanda Montell (@amanda_montell) is joined by journalists Wailin Wong and Stacey Vanek Smith (@svaneksmith) to overthink the emotional, historical, and spiritual weight of generational wealth: what it gives, what it withholds, and who it was never designed for. Listen as they explore the systems that have kept generational wealth out of reach for so many marginalized communities, the guilt of those who inherit it and do care, and the quiet alienation of watching others take it for granted.A layered spiral into privilege, precarity, and what it means to want stability in a world that’s never been fair.Further Listening: The Indicator from Planet MoneyFurther Reading: Machiavelli For Women by Stacey Vanek Smith  - Join the "Magical Overthinkers Club" by following the pod on Instagram @magicaloverthinkers.- To access early, ad-free episodes and more, subscribe to the Magical Overthinkers Substack.- Pick up a hard copy of Amanda's book The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality, or listen to the audiobook. Head to https://Greenchef.com/50MAGICAL and use code 50MAGICAL to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping.   Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://SHOPIFY.COM/magical Go to https://Quince.com/magical for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this discussion, journalist Fortesa Latifi, known for her impactful work with the New York Times and Rolling Stone, joins host Amanda Montell. They dive into the heaviness of opinion overload in our digital age. Fortesa shares insights on how the pressure to express hot takes can stifle authentic thought. They explore the toll it takes on personal identities, the challenge of nuanced journalism in a sensationalized media landscape, and the mental health strains faced by content creators. Ultimately, they advocate for the freedom to say, 'I don't know yet.'

Olga Khazan, a journalist and author at The Atlantic, joins Amanda Montell to unravel the complexities of personality. They dive into whether our identities are shaped by nature or nurture, and how personality frameworks like the Myers-Briggs can sometimes lead to overthinking. The discussion explores the fluidity of identity and whether we can truly change or merely adapt performance in different situations. Khazan shares insights from her book, emphasizing the intriguing possibility of transforming oneself beyond perceived limitations.