Sexvangelicals

Julia begins, "Unlearning the messages from the church archive is only part of the healing process. The next step is learning new ways to engage relationships and sexuality.    So, together, we are going to begin creating a new library with literature that can support us in building better, more sustainable, and thriving relationships."    In order to unlearn unhelpful messages, we have to understand the systems that propagated these messages.  "If I had a dollar for every time a client mentioned The Five Love Languages in therapy, I'd have close to a thousand dollars by this stage," Jeremiah says.   The problem? The Five Love Languages was written by Gary Chapman. Chapman has no professional training in therapy or the science of relationships. Rather, he's one of hundreds of clergy trained at Wheaton, Moody Bible College, and other conservative organizations who have written about relationships--generally not their scope of practice.  These authors have been propelled by a multi-billion dollar publishing industry who have generated radio shows, books, TV shows, and podcasts to sell complementarian gender roles, a rigid understanding of sexuality, and communication strategies that seek avoidance and compliance rather than negotiation of differences.    In this episode, Jeremiah and Julia talk about: History of Christian Publishing Houses  Conservatism and Publishing Christian Education and Apologetics Why Christian Literature is Effective Ask Suzie  Why Focus on Christian Media?  “Sex Ed”  The Books of Deconstruction and Music as Manipulation Perpetuating Myths 

The Roman Catholic Church, Southern Baptist Convention, and Acts 29 Churches have all had significant challenges with sexual, emotional, and spiritual abuse in their systems, something that becomes even more pronounced when religious systems become intertwined with private and home schooling, sex education, and the expectations of rigid gender norms.   Sarah Stankorb, author of Disobedient Women, interviews women who have been victimized within Evangelical systems. And while online spaces provided camaraderie, acceptance, and empowerment, the disclosure of abuse and sexual crimes often gets met with the opposite outcomes.   Sarah talks with us about things to consider when disclosing spiritual abuse, including: How the Church Enables Abuse. Intertwining of Church and School. Homeschooling and Being Insulated. Reporting Abuse in Higher Education. Parallels Between Secular and Christian Universities. Title IX.  The Right to Silence for Survivors. The Importance of Listening. The Internet and Community Check out Episode #57: Kicking Off the New Year with Spiritual Abuse: Things to Consider When Disclosing Spiritual Abuse, with Sarah Stankorb on Apple Podcasts. And please leave us a 5 star review!   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website:

It's well documented that reporting abuse to larger systems is a daunting process. The Southern Baptist Convention is the latest organization to have been outed for the ways that it protects perpetrators of violence, especially against women and children, two categories of people whose stories are commonly dismissed in our larger society.   We're thrilled to have Sarah Stankorb on our podcast. Sarah Stankorb is the author of the national best-seller Disobedient Women. The award-winning, Ohio-based writer talks about religion, politics, feminism, health, technology, and the public good. In Disobedient Women, she outlines how access to the internet—its networks, freedom of expression, and resources for deeply researching and reporting on powerful church figures—allowed women to begin dismantling the false authority of evangelical communities that had long demanded their submission.   In this episode, Sarah talks with us about the emotional and relational processes that empower women to share their stories and hold systems accountable for their actions. We discuss: The concept of impact vs. intent How the church enables abuse Demonizing anger The fallacies of untethered empathy The weight of speaking up Storytelling and journalism Defining bravery The trad-wife trend, and other systems that encourage women to propagate messages of inequity. Check out Episode #56: Kicking Off the New Year with Spiritual Abuse: How Anger Can Be a Vital Resource for Processing Trauma and Beginning Change, with Sarah Stankorb on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.   Show notes and transcript can be found on the Sexvangelicals website.

Transitions are a natural part of life. There are big transitions, such as a person leaving home or a child aging into adolescence. There are smaller transitions that happen everyday, such as leaving to go to work or switching from topic to topic in a conversation.    A family system has to be adaptable enough to respond to transitions, and many relationship and family problems are rooted in challenges transitioning.   In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah discuss three strategies to help you and your partner call effective audibles and transition effectively. We talk about: Transitions and getting stuck Unilateral decision making Making adjustments Sexual content and audibles Aftercare Preparation Check out Episode #55: Three Ways to Call Audibles and Transition Well in Relationships, with Julia and Jeremiah.   Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And please give us a five star review!

“Romantic comedies and chick lit reflect messages that are prevalent in both secular culture and religious spaces. Although Christian spaces give lots of lip service to being counter cultural, they usually repackage the same message from popular culture with a different wrapping paper.” We continue our mini-series Let’s Kick Off the New Year with Spiritual Abuse, with Katherine Spearing, co-founder of Tears of Eden and author of Hartfords, a historical romantic comedy. Katherine talks with us about how literature can often reinforce some of the rigid, unhelpful ideas about gender and relationships, and how writing Hartfords positively impacted her own healing process. Join us as we explore:    Chiclit and Romcoms (2:00) Jane Austen and Subtle Messaging (6:00) The Fear of Art Within the Church (16:00) Art as a Means of Survival (21:00) Psychology, Art, and the Church (26:00) Rom Coms and the Church (31:00) Friendship within Hartfords (35:00) The Power of the Pen (40:00) Deconstruction and Hartfords (45:00) Healing (59:00) Check out Episode #54: Kicking Off the New Year with Spiritual Abuse: How Romantic Comedies Can Reinforce the Worst Parts of Evangelical Culture, with Katherine Spearing on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website: www.sexvangelicals.com Let’s heal together!

Happy New Year! January is Spirtual Abuse Awareness month, and so we're kicking off the New Year with a couple of episodes with Katherine Spearing (@katherinespearing), host of the Uncertain Podcast (@uncertainpodcast) and founder of the nonprofit Tears of Eden.    Katherine defines spiritual abuse as "invoking a religious text or deity as a way to maintain power and control over both individuals and communities." In this episode, we describe the multiple systems in Katherine's life that practiced abusive dynamics--family of origin, churches, the Evangelical system at large. Katherine talks with us about:  Stay at Home Daughters (7:00) Women as Property (9:00) Double Binds of Womanhood (13:00) Arrested Development (17:00) Labeling Abuse and Defining Spiritual Abuse Once More (25:00) Finding a Voice You Never Had (29:00) Individuation (31:00) Phobias and Leaving Cults (39:00) Silent Patriarchy (45:00)  Tears of Eden and Healing (55:00) Learn more about Katherine's work by visiting tearsofeden.org. We're so grateful for her influence and passion for helping folks in the early stages of deconstruction!

Happy New Year! We hope that you had a safe, peaceful, and festive holiday season with family and friends!   For most of us, this week will be about transitioning out of the excitement and chaos that comes with the holiday season and into the rhythms of everyday life. That transition process can be really challenging on individuals and relationships.   To help us, we invited our marketing and communications extraordinaire, Maddie, to be our first guest of 2024. Maddie talks with us about: Reverting and Growth (7:00) Applying Growth to the Relational System (11:00) Deconstruction Culture and Antagonism (17:00) Engaging in Conversations about Deconstruction with Religious Family (21:00) Recharging (24:00) Little Ways to Reconnect (28:00) Holidays as an Adult (33:00) Managing Conflict and the Pressure Cooker (44:00) Relationship Anarchy (46:00) Sexting in Church (50:00)  This episode is a fantastic way to kick off 2024! Check out Episode #52: Holiday Horror Stories: How to Recover from the Holiday Season, with Maddie Upson, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.