Sexvangelicals

One of the most common targets of Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal (EMPish) communities in the 21st century are queer people. The moralizing of straight, married relationships places people who are attracted to folks of the same sex/gender and folks who are curious about sexual experiences with same sex/gendered people in terrible double binds.   Folks can accept and practice sexuality in alignment with their sexual orientation in the face of name-calling, loss of relationships with family members, and threats of violence.   Or they can squelch or hide their sexuality, or practice their sexuality in more secretive ways, which itself can have negative impacts.   Coming out in EMPish communities carries a ton of undue emotional and relational pressure.    To help us navigate that, we've invited singer-songwriter and founder of non-profit Bad Believer (@badbelievercommunity), Adaline (@adalinemusic), to share how she navigated her own coming out process. We talk with Adaline about her first album, Hymnal, as well as: Body Talk and EMPish Communities Hierarchy in Sin  Binaries and Sexuality  Co-Opting Coming Out  Stories for Her Songs "Part of You" and "Waist Down" Building Personal Strength  Trusting Desires Family Systems: When Your Pastor is Also Your Father Embracing Your Body Sensuality and the Music Video  Coming Out and Guilt  Her Nonprofit, Bad Believer Check out Episode #68: Coming Out in Evangelical Families, with Singer-Songwriter, Adaline, part 1 of 2, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website

What are the messages that we wish we learned about masculinity? What are messages that we'd like to teach younger generations about masculinity, and in conjunction, how we might do relationships more effectively, more collaboratively?   We are thrilled to have Zach Wagner (@zacharycwagner), author of Non-Toxic Masculinity, on Sexvangelicals this week. Zach talks with us about: The Books of Deconstruction The Narrative of Sex and Conquest Broadening the Script Male Sexuality Injecting Shame  Shame & Desire EMPish Communities and Being “Counter-Cultural” Internalized Narratives  Desire  Starting Sex Ed Early Check out Episode #67: Banned Books: Non-Toxic Masculinity, by Zach Wagner, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.    Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.

Healing from Purity Culture involves conversations of how Evangelical communities have created undue amounts of anxiety and pressure for men as well as women.   We talk with Zachary Wagner (@zacharycwagner), author of the new book Non-Toxic Masculinity, about the importance of deconstructing simplistic, reductive practices of manhood and reimagining new ways that men can conceptualize themselves and create meaningful relationships.   Zach talks with us about: Why Does the Book Matter Now: Generational Understandings of Masculinity The Power of the Purity Movement Purity Books  The Effects of Christian Literature Purity Culture and Sex  Violence as a Result of Purity Culture  Purity Camp  Reducing Each Other's Humanity  Healing  Check out Episode #66: Banned Books: Non Toxic Masculinity, with Zach Wagner, part 1 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website: www.sexvangelicals.com

Are you interested in writing a memoir? Then this episode is especially for you!   We're excited to have Tia Levings @tialevingsswriter, author of the upcoming book A Well Trained Wife, as our guest for Sexvangelicals this week.   Tia talks with us about: Hero’s Journey Not Exploiting Your Own Story  Babies and Resilience The Nuance in Deconstruction  Finding Light in the Dark  Honoring Our Instincts  Slowing Down  Write the Book  The Books of Deconstruction  Check out Episode #65 Banned Books: A Well Trained Wife, with Tia Levings, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.

"While this story is my own memoir, the situations in this book are far from unique. With me stands a choir of invisible fundamentalist women, too silenced to tell their stories for themselves."    We're honored to have Tia Levings (@tialevingswriter), author of the upcoming book A Well Trained Wife, as our podcast guest this week. Tia shares her research, wisdom, and immense bravery with us; we focus our conversations around: How the Evangelical Church is a Microcosm of a Bigger System Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop: Perfectionism  Books that Encourage Evangelical Family Structures Tradwives Dating Under Purity Culture  Covenant Marriage  Cosigning Misery  The Wellness Industry and Christianity  Assigning Credit to Yourself Instead of God

There's a lot of memoirs, social media comments, and dialogue about leaving the evangelical church. However, as our guest, Sarah McCammon (@sarahmccammon_journalist) says, "you can't really understand the leaving without understanding loving and living the evangelical church."   Sarah is the author of the new book The Exvangelicals. She talks with us about: The history of Christianity and politics What religion may offer The Bill Clinton Era and Purity Culture Evangelical Relationships  Performing Gender  Loving and Living (and Leaving) the Evangelical Church Grief  Connection and Trauma Bonding  Healing Through Storytelling Check out Episode #63: Banned Books: The Exvangelicals, with Sarah McCammon, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website

It's been really fascinating to watch the ways that Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal (EMPish) cultures have begun to be deconstructed and discussed on a wider cultural level.    While some still struggle to accurately name the direct correlation between EMPish cultures and the construction of the modern-day Republican Party, NPR national correspondent Sarah McCammon (@sarahmccammon_journalist) discusses the strategy and implementation of rigid conservative values in her new book The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church.   In part 1 of a 2 part interview, Sarah talks with us about:  Trump and Evangelicals The rise of the religious Nones Two target audiences The purpose of The Exvangelicals Fear of Judgement  Empathy and Honesty  Why People Stay in EMPish Spaces  Lack of Goodbyes  Christianity and Inclusivity Promises Unfulfilled  Salem Witch Trials and Christian Textbooks The Exvangelicals comes out this week--buy it on Amazon!   Check out Episode #62: Banned Books: The Exvangelicals, with Sarah McCammon, part 1 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website

One of the most common relational processes that the deconstructing world talks about is boundaries. Evangelical circles encourage the elimination of boundaries. Sexuality is public, as Purity Culture invites people in leadership positions to make a variety of comments about people's bodies. Accountability groups and testimonials favor people who describe the most intimate parts of their stories.    When making sense of these harmful systems, it's easy to go the opposite direction with boundaries; in fact, quite a few people in the deconstructing community invite people to do this. But as we talk about with Laura Anderson, author of When Religion Hurts You, the construction of boundaries is a complex, nuanced process, something more complicated than just "Setting those boundaries".   Laura talks with us about:  Leaving religious spaces Trust development post-religion Boundary rigidity Differences being dangerous Pop psychology messages around boundaries Trauma in the context of relationships The practice of slowing down Healing ourselves first Accommodations and understanding Check out Episode #61: Banned Books, with Laura Anderson, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website.

What is religious abuse? Dr. Laura Anderson, in her new book When Religion Hurts You, defines it as:   "The improper use of religious beliefs, teachings, doctrines, and relationships against another person. This might include harassment, humiliation, mind control, psychological abuse, isolation, threats, intimidation, minimizing, denying, blaming, asserting spiritual authority, and making it difficult to leave the religious community."   If you're experienced one or more of the above, our interview with Laura provides some strategies for processing and navigating these experiences. Laura talks with us about: Addressing Religious Trauma Downplaying Trauma How Diagnosing Blames the Individual Focusing on the Body Eating Disorders and EMPish Communities Acknowledging Before Healing Two-Choice Dilemmas Honoring Grief The Demonization of Anger Check out Episode #60: Banned Books: When Religion Hurts You, with Laura Anderson (part 1 of 2) on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Purity Culture is largely embedded within White social and political systems intended to dominate and control bodies through a hyper-moralistic, anti-sex landscape.   However, in this last week of Black History month, it's imperative that we talk about the ways that Purity Culture has impacted Black communities.   To help us, we are sharing our interview with Deesha Philyaw (@deeshaphilyaw), author of The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, about how the values of Purity Culture have infiltrated Black churches and informed sexual relationships and expectations within the Black community. We talk about: Purity Culture within Cultural Contexts Values  How Sexual Misinformation Informs the Writing Process The Lack of Conversation  Divorce within the Church Fiction and Sexual Health  Suffering in Silence  “Daddy Issues''  Grief  Working Through Self-Hate Through Fiction  Sexism within Black Churches  Check out Episode 59: Banned Books: The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, with Deesha Philyaw on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please give us a five star review as well!   Show notes and transcript are found on the Sexvangelicals website.