Sexvangelicals

Many folks who grew up in the 90s and 00s grew up with an extreme amount of sex negativity. Regardless of whether or not they grew up in Evangelical churches, Gen-X and millennials were impacted by a culture and policy that reinforced negative messages about bodies, sexuality, and gender.   And it's on us to make sure that future generations aren't saddled with equally negative messages and practices about sexuality and relationships.    We talk with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Podcast @holyghostingpod about how they have navigated talking with their kids in more effective, affirming, and healing ways. Check out our conversations about: Project 2025  Imposter Syndrome Discussing and Demystifying Masturbation  Shame Engaging with Sexuality at Different Ages  The Pain of Saving Yourself  Relational v. Behavioral Demphasizing the Importance of Sex  The Gravity of the Deadly Sexual Sins  The New Generation and Liberation Check out Episode 71: How to Talk with Your Kids About Sexuality When You Grew Up in an Evangelical Community, with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.

Mother's Day was this weekend, and is a complicated holiday for many folks. On the one hand, the celebration of women's expected unpaid labor for one singular day seems trite, at best. On another hand, women navigate a myriad of challenges on the pathway to motherhood, from obnoxious questions about timing, to pregnancy loss.  Ideally, parenting is a collaborative relationship between two (or more) parents, with each parent contributing an equal amount to the development of their children. We talk with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Podcast (@holyghostingpod) about their experiences co-parenting, both while in religious communities, and during the deconstruction process. We discuss: Co-Parenting Wins  Deconstructing Human Depravity as a Parent Trusting Yourself Outside of Religion  Choice in Motherhood Abortion  Stillbirth  Lack of Structure and Support  Creating Space for Grief  The Myth of "Spiritual Warfare" Not Believing is Not an Option  Pre-Existing Conditions and Shame Mirroring Healthy Disagreements in Coparenting  Parenting Post-Deconstruction Check out Episode 70: How to Navigate Co-Parenting Post Deconstruction, with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website.

Pride month next month is going to be especially important.  Based on the threats from Project 2025 and the behavior of other religious nationalist groups, federal bills that prevent states from discriminating against queer folks are at risk.    Coming out, already a stress-inducing process, especially for folks in conservative areas, would have far greater anxiety connected with it under a second Trump administration.   We invite singer-songwriter Adaline, founder of the nonprofit Bad Believer, to help explore the anxieties that come with coming out. Adaline talks with us about: Her new album, Hymnal No Hate Like Christian Love Erasing Love  Rebecca St. James & Waiting Not Being a Part of Your Own Story The Mythmaking of Purity Culture Autonomy and Choosing Yourself  Love Songs Radical Acceptance, Jesus, and Unconditional Love Hymnal was released March 22. Download it today!   Also, check out this episode and all other episodes of Sexvangelicals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.

One of the most common targets of Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal (EMPish) communities in the 21st century are queer people. The moralizing of straight, married relationships places people who are attracted to folks of the same sex/gender and folks who are curious about sexual experiences with same sex/gendered people in terrible double binds.   Folks can accept and practice sexuality in alignment with their sexual orientation in the face of name-calling, loss of relationships with family members, and threats of violence.   Or they can squelch or hide their sexuality, or practice their sexuality in more secretive ways, which itself can have negative impacts.   Coming out in EMPish communities carries a ton of undue emotional and relational pressure.    To help us navigate that, we've invited singer-songwriter and founder of non-profit Bad Believer (@badbelievercommunity), Adaline (@adalinemusic), to share how she navigated her own coming out process. We talk with Adaline about her first album, Hymnal, as well as: Body Talk and EMPish Communities Hierarchy in Sin  Binaries and Sexuality  Co-Opting Coming Out  Stories for Her Songs "Part of You" and "Waist Down" Building Personal Strength  Trusting Desires Family Systems: When Your Pastor is Also Your Father Embracing Your Body Sensuality and the Music Video  Coming Out and Guilt  Her Nonprofit, Bad Believer Check out Episode #68: Coming Out in Evangelical Families, with Singer-Songwriter, Adaline, part 1 of 2, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website

What are the messages that we wish we learned about masculinity? What are messages that we'd like to teach younger generations about masculinity, and in conjunction, how we might do relationships more effectively, more collaboratively?   We are thrilled to have Zach Wagner (@zacharycwagner), author of Non-Toxic Masculinity, on Sexvangelicals this week. Zach talks with us about: The Books of Deconstruction The Narrative of Sex and Conquest Broadening the Script Male Sexuality Injecting Shame  Shame & Desire EMPish Communities and Being “Counter-Cultural” Internalized Narratives  Desire  Starting Sex Ed Early Check out Episode #67: Banned Books: Non-Toxic Masculinity, by Zach Wagner, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.    Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.

Healing from Purity Culture involves conversations of how Evangelical communities have created undue amounts of anxiety and pressure for men as well as women.   We talk with Zachary Wagner (@zacharycwagner), author of the new book Non-Toxic Masculinity, about the importance of deconstructing simplistic, reductive practices of manhood and reimagining new ways that men can conceptualize themselves and create meaningful relationships.   Zach talks with us about: Why Does the Book Matter Now: Generational Understandings of Masculinity The Power of the Purity Movement Purity Books  The Effects of Christian Literature Purity Culture and Sex  Violence as a Result of Purity Culture  Purity Camp  Reducing Each Other's Humanity  Healing  Check out Episode #66: Banned Books: Non Toxic Masculinity, with Zach Wagner, part 1 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website: www.sexvangelicals.com

Are you interested in writing a memoir? Then this episode is especially for you!   We're excited to have Tia Levings @tialevingsswriter, author of the upcoming book A Well Trained Wife, as our guest for Sexvangelicals this week.   Tia talks with us about: Hero’s Journey Not Exploiting Your Own Story  Babies and Resilience The Nuance in Deconstruction  Finding Light in the Dark  Honoring Our Instincts  Slowing Down  Write the Book  The Books of Deconstruction  Check out Episode #65 Banned Books: A Well Trained Wife, with Tia Levings, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.

"While this story is my own memoir, the situations in this book are far from unique. With me stands a choir of invisible fundamentalist women, too silenced to tell their stories for themselves."    We're honored to have Tia Levings (@tialevingswriter), author of the upcoming book A Well Trained Wife, as our podcast guest this week. Tia shares her research, wisdom, and immense bravery with us; we focus our conversations around: How the Evangelical Church is a Microcosm of a Bigger System Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop: Perfectionism  Books that Encourage Evangelical Family Structures Tradwives Dating Under Purity Culture  Covenant Marriage  Cosigning Misery  The Wellness Industry and Christianity  Assigning Credit to Yourself Instead of God

There's a lot of memoirs, social media comments, and dialogue about leaving the evangelical church. However, as our guest, Sarah McCammon (@sarahmccammon_journalist) says, "you can't really understand the leaving without understanding loving and living the evangelical church."   Sarah is the author of the new book The Exvangelicals. She talks with us about: The history of Christianity and politics What religion may offer The Bill Clinton Era and Purity Culture Evangelical Relationships  Performing Gender  Loving and Living (and Leaving) the Evangelical Church Grief  Connection and Trauma Bonding  Healing Through Storytelling Check out Episode #63: Banned Books: The Exvangelicals, with Sarah McCammon, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website

It's been really fascinating to watch the ways that Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal (EMPish) cultures have begun to be deconstructed and discussed on a wider cultural level.    While some still struggle to accurately name the direct correlation between EMPish cultures and the construction of the modern-day Republican Party, NPR national correspondent Sarah McCammon (@sarahmccammon_journalist) discusses the strategy and implementation of rigid conservative values in her new book The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church.   In part 1 of a 2 part interview, Sarah talks with us about:  Trump and Evangelicals The rise of the religious Nones Two target audiences The purpose of The Exvangelicals Fear of Judgement  Empathy and Honesty  Why People Stay in EMPish Spaces  Lack of Goodbyes  Christianity and Inclusivity Promises Unfulfilled  Salem Witch Trials and Christian Textbooks The Exvangelicals comes out this week--buy it on Amazon!   Check out Episode #62: Banned Books: The Exvangelicals, with Sarah McCammon, part 1 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   Show notes and transcript are on the SV website