The One You Feed

In This Interview, Dean Sluyter and I Discuss… His book, Fear Less: Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction Right View and how it relates to having less fear in your life How right view is always liberating Asking, “does it help?” “One mustn’t assume burdens that God doesn’t lay upon us. The state of worry is not itself meritorious.” CS Lewis The problem with trying to control your mind Transcendental Meditation Hanging out in tasklessness The open space of awareness How thought doesn’t have to go away in order to meditate Relax your grip, and relax back into yourself It doesn’t grip you, it has no power to do that. You grip it. What it means to relax at the moment of contact Relax into it, stop the resistance of it Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional suffering = pain x resistance Dean Sluyter LinksHomepageMeditationYoutubeTwitterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Megan Devine is a pioneer in the fields of grief support and emotional intelligence. Since 2009, she’s been writing and talking about grief and love, shaking up our culture’s ideas about both all along the way. In this episode we discuss these topics along with her newest book,It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t UnderstandNeed help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Megan Devine and I Discuss… Her book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand That the way we deal with grief in our culture is broken How grief is a no-win situation for everyone The fact that we don’t like to talk about grief How we carry losses with us The myth that happiness is the same as health and that if you’re not happy, you’re doing something wrong That some things cannot be fixed, they can only be carried How cruel it is to say everything happens for a reason and that you create your reality Our limited tools for going through difficulty Victim blaming How we can’t be 100% safe That we aren’t 100% in control of how we react to things If we think grief is a problem to be solved, all of our tools will fail us Sadness isn’t a problem either How you can’t “get over it and put it behind you” The importance of having pain Heard, Honored and Validated The power of listening and curiosity Thinking of pain as an experience to be tended The things we have to live through and endure, that we can’t escape Making these difficult things gentler on us Decreasing suffering inside of grief Wellness vs. worseness Paying attention to the cause and effect of things The hierarchy of grief Treating compassion as the abundant resource that it is Hope Meeting people where they are Asking: Do you want empathy or a problem solved right now? Asking: What do you need in this moment? What would feel useful right now? You can’t heal someone’s pain by trying to take it away from them The importance of showing yourself kindness Megan Devine LinksHomepageAnimation on GriefInstagramTwitterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jonathan Rauch is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institute, the author of 6 books (and many, many articles) and is a contributing editor of The Atlantic. His latest book is The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50. See what you think about the trends of happiness in your life compared to the tendency he describes in his book and this interview. It may be that the emotional peak of life is different than when you’d expect.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Jonathan Rauch and I Discuss… His book, The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50 Connection to others Generosity The factors that most contribute to our happiness The U shape curve of happiness in life The emotional peak of life How our expectations change as life goes on That our values continue to change The fact that our brains change over the course of a lifetime How the effects of connectedness are cumulative and durable The hedonic treadmill What to do to be happier at the bottom of the curve The suffering that comes from social comparison Staying in the present moment Internal criticism Guilt vs Shame in mid-life The benefits of being other-directed, other-oriented How the voice of impulsiveness isn’t our friend Jonathan Rauch LinksHomepageTwitterThe Great Courses Plus gives in-depth knowledge on a variety of topics like psychology, science, philosophy, cooking, photography and more. Watch or listen to a course whenever, wherever for FREE. To start your free trial now go to www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolfPhlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and use promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After a career as a designer in the tech industry, John Zeratsky became obsessed with the idea of re-designing time. He’s a writer who has written multiple books and his work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Time, Harvard Business Review, Wired, Fast Company, and many others. In this episode, among other things, we discuss his newest book, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!n This Interview, John Zeratsky and I Discuss… His book, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day Understanding the limits on will-power Setting up our world around us so it’s easier to make the right decisions Creating more time in your day for the things you care about The two powerful forces that compete every day for our time “The Busy Bandwagon” The Infinity Pools Questioning the “defaults” in our schedule Creating a highlight for every day Living a “someday” life Finding more meaningful moments Urgency, Satisfaction, Joy Batch the little stuff Laser mode Taking back control of your time and energy Creating barriers to distraction Managing your energy Building your energy Focusing on the process not the outcome John Zeratsky LinksHomepageTwitterThe Great Sources Plus gives in-depth knowledge on a variety of topics like psychology, science, philosophy, cooking, photography and more. Watch or listen to a course whenever, wherever for FREE. To start your free trial now go to www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolfCalm- The number one app that helps you meditate, sleep and relax. For a limited time, get 25% off a Calm premium subscription – giving you access to ALL their content – at www.calm.com/wolfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Marilyn Nelson on Her Beautiful, Powerful PoetryMarilyn Nelson is an American poet, translator and children’s book author. She’s a professor emeritus at The University of Connecticut and the former poet laureate of Connecticut. In this episode, Eric and Marilyn discuss several poems she’s written as well as the meaning behind them. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Marilyn Nelson and I Discuss… Her book, How I Discovered Poetry Her poem, Mississippi Her book, A Wreath for Emmett Till The poetry form of a heroic crown of sonnets Her poem, Rosemary for Remembrance Her poem, Let Me Gather Spring Flowers For a Wreath Her poem, Like His Gouged Eye How poetry comes out of silence and leads us back to silence The value of silence in a life well lived Silence, contemplation, and self-knowledge Our quiet center Her book, Carver Her poem, Professor Carver’s Bible Class Her book, Snook Alone Marilyn Nelson LinksHomepageFacebookNetsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsweep’s free guide, Crushing the 5 Barriers to Growth, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolfThirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolfBlinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7 day free trialSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Roger Housden is a second time guest on the show – you might remember him from episode 152. He founded The Open Gate which is a conference and workshop center in England that introduced the work of Ram Dass and Thich Nhat Hanh and many others into Europe. You also might have seen his work featured in places like O Magazine, The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times. In this episode, Roger and Eric discuss his beautiful book, 10 Poems for Difficult Times.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Roger Housden and I Discuss… His book, 10 Poems for Difficult Times Saying “there is happiness happening” or “there is anger happening” rather than “I am angry” or “I am happy” How poetry helps us in difficult times That poetry gives voice to that which is unsayable The poet Ellen Bass How suffering can soften us if we bow down to it That you can’t fake surrender The opportunity in suffering is growth How poetry points us in the direction of possibility in suffering The poet Maggie Smith The poet Marie Howe Annunciation by Marie Howe The specific pointing to the universal in poetry Roger Housden LinksHomepageTwitterFacebookPhlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there www.phlur.compromo code WOLF 20 off first custom sampler setQuip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing www.getquip.com/wolfand get your first refill pack for freeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Steven C Hayes, a leading psychologist and co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), shares his insights on navigating emotions and taking action towards a value-driven life. He discusses the importance of psychological flexibility and how accepting our difficult emotions can lead to personal growth. The conversation highlights the distinction between pain and suffering, the downsides of comparison, and innovative strategies for managing intrusive thoughts. With a mix of personal anecdotes, Hayes inspires listeners to embrace discomfort for emotional resilience.

Paul Hannam, a British author and entrepreneur, shares insights from his book, The Wisdom of Groundhog Day. He explores how the film's themes relate to personal growth and the importance of experimentation in daily life. Listeners will learn about breaking free from repetitive cycles, the significance of mindfulness, and the value of incremental changes. Hannam emphasizes self-awareness and reflects on how our internal state influences happiness, advocating for grounding ourselves in the present moment and connecting with nature.

Tim Pychyl is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Carlton University and hosts a podcast called I Procrastinate. His book that we discuss in this episode is on that very topic – it’s called Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for ChangeBut wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Tim Pychyl and I Discuss… His book, Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change How it’s in the getting on in life that makes a life That procrastination can be an existential matter What he tells his children: I didn’t ask what you want to do or how you feel, I told you it’s time to make your bed. When we procrastinate we delay getting on with our lives Being an active member or your own life The two ways procrastination compromises our health Stress Fewer wellness behaviors Treatment delay “I’ll look after that later” Procrastination being a problem of self-regulated behavior I won’t give in to feel good Goal Intentions and Implementation intentions When….then… Giving the monkey something to do What’s the next action? Keeping it small Hacks to work around our irrational thinking Motivation and then Action or Action and then Motivation The meaning behind our goals Meaning and Manageability Asking what will this cost me if I put it off? Prefer tomorrow over today Thinking “I’ll feel like doing it tomorrow” Affect forecasting Thinking of your future self as a stranger Developing empathy for future self Self-handicap to preserve self-esteem Tim Pychyl LinksHomepageTwitterTim’s Psychology Today PageBlinkist – Join the 5 million people already using Blinkist to read or listen to non-fiction books in 15 minutes or less! Free 7 day trial www.blinkist.com/wolfQuip Electric toothbrush – the perfect stocking stuffer that will be used every day and everyone needs! They’ll think of you every day when they use it. www.quip.com/wolf get your first refill pack freeTalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. www.talkspace.com/wolf Promo Code WOLF to get $45 off your first month.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist who switched from practicing traditional talk psychotherapy to accelerated experimental dynamic psychotherapy. She teaches us that our core emotions are automatic and grounded in universal physical experiences. Her new book is called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self. In this episode, she goes into great instructional detail about how to identify and process your emotions in the moment. If you’ve ever felt a strong emotion (and who hasn’t), this episode will teach you how to move through it skillfully, rather than having your strong emotions wreak havoc in yourself and with others. RxBar & RxNut Butter wants to build delicious food the right way – with transparency on their simple, real ingredients. Get 25% off your first order of their best seller variety pack. Use URL http://www.rxbar.com/wolf and enter promo code WOLF at checkout (the US only)Ancestry DNA- unlock your family story – the perfect holiday gift. To get it for the special price of $59 use URL http://www.ancestry.com/wolfIn This Interview, Hilary Jabobs Hendel and I Discuss… Her new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self The 7 C’s of our authentic self The science and biology of emotions The change triangle The Core Emotions: Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Joy, Excitement and Sexual Excitement The 3 Inhibitory Emotions: Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame How core emotions have energy and want to come up and out- to be expressed Inhibitory emotions dampening our core emotions  The difference between defenses and inhibitory emotions How to work The Change Triangle Trauma vs trauma The power of naming your emotions Our open-hearted state When our emotions overwhelm us, it can be helpful to have someone else process them Grounding and breathing The role of core emotions is to ready us for action so they are first physical sensations, traveling from the brain down the vegus nerve All core emotions have impulses associated with them How harmful self-criticism and self-judgment can be Relating to ourselves as a small child Healthy shame vs toxic shame Hilary Jacobs Hendel LinksHomepageTwitterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.