Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

This week on the podcast, I am re-broadcasting my conversation with Keith McArthur because NEW YEAR NEW YOU, right? Keith is the author of the book, “Winning Resolutions: Achieve Your Biggest Goals and Wildest Dreams Once and For All.” He’s also the creator of My Instruction Manual, a website, podcast and book series providing high-quality personal development and content. I’ve been on Keith’s podcast twice and know him to be an amazing interviewer. So, about a year ago, I released an episode called, “New Year New You” (ep 262), in which I said, loud and clear, that you do not need a morning routine or for that matter, any routine that doesn’t fit your lifestyle. But yet, I also realize that the new year can be overwhelming for many. That’s why I invited Keith to the show to talk about ways to calm the New Year overwhelm, help shift our mindset around goal setting, and share what he knows about our environment and how it can affect goal achieving. Plus, he shares what values, shame and commitment have to do with it all.  In this episode you’ll hear: Why we put so much pressure on ourselves at the start of a new year and how shame comes into play (11:49) Keith’s take on the “New Year, New You” mentality (13:27) The biggest mistake people make when creating a goal or resolution. Plus, some science-based strategies for achieving your biggest, baddest goals (16:19) How an accountability partner can help you with goals and the science behind finding the right accountability partner (25:03) Some ways to get back on track if you lose sight or abandon a goal, hint: think ahead! (27:43) Taking control of your environment and some ways to structure your environment for goal success (40:34) Lastly, my new creative project with Amy Smith, Not Another Self-Help Podcast drops THIS FRIDAY, January 3rd! Please go take a listen, subscribe, and tell us what you think!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Announcement! Not Another Self-Help Podcast is coming! Amy and I need your personal development questions so hit us up here. Also, we’d be honored if you listened to our first two episodes which drop Friday, January 3rd! Two weeks ago was all about looking back on not just 2019, but the entire decade that’s ending. If you haven’t listened to that one, check out episode 309, plus there’s a free journaling PDF.Let’s start with the basics: values and the way you speak to yourself.Some people love to have a word of the year, and values work could be married together with that. I talk about values at length in How To Stop Feeling Like Shit, and I’ll give you a crash course here. This will be an important refresher for those of you who’ve done values work before. Think about a time in your life where you were proud of yourself. Maybe you took action on something you were afraid to do. Maybe you left a relationship, set a boundary with someone, told someone how you felt or went to a party where you didn’t know anyone. Think of that time. What was the value you were honoring then? It might have been courage for being brave enough to do something scary. Or, authenticity for showing up as your best self. Or honesty and integrity for speaking up about something that was important to you. Or, trust for trusting yourself enough to walk away from a situation you know wasn’t good for you. It might be ALL of those things, but what are the values that stand out to you the most? I’m thinking of the many clients I’ve had over the last decade and the brave things they’ve done. I had a client who had a strained relationship with her mother, who sat down, planned out everything she wanted to say to her mother and had the talk. Years of resentment, frustration, and hurt came together in a conversation she was proud of. She honored courage, honesty, and authenticity. I’ve had a few clients start new businesses and quit their jobs. Honoring meaningful work, creativity, and determination. I’m thinking of a client I had who had a difficult year-- the most difficult year of her life. So much loss and struggle...that time in her life she honored perseverance, self-trust, and optimism. So again, what values have you honored over the last decade? Sure, you’ve probably wanted to honor more of them, and maybe didn’t. Don’t dwell on those. Your mind may want to point out all the aspired values you have and didn’t do. That you wanted to be more courageous, that you wanted to focus more on your growth or have more balance in your life. For the sake of this exercise, let that go for now. The reason I want you to think of these values, to think about the behaviors you’ve done in the past that have made you proud of who you are, is because those are a key to looking ahead. If you’re proud of the courageous thing you did this year, and thinking about that feeling is gratifying, your next step is to think about how you can get more of that in your life in this year coming up. Let me remind you, that it’s typically never about the thing you do or want to do, it’s about the feeling you’ll get from having done it or the experience you’ll have while doing it. For example, when I write books, it’s not about the book. It’s about having written it, the pride I get in having done this BIG thing, and honoring my values along the way. Listen to today’s episode to hear more about the next important tool I want you to focus on in the new year, and that’s your self-talk. http://yourkickasslife.com/313  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As soon as I met this week’s guest, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. That is why I am thrilled to introduce you to Jessica Graham. She is a spiritual and sexual activist, author of the book, Good Sex: Getting Off without Checking Out, meditation teacher, and sex and intimacy guide. I first met Jessica when we had a chance meeting, in a cab, in Holland. I am so glad that the universe aligned and put us into each other’s orbit. At the time of our meeting, I had been feeling the pull to do some inner work around the areas of sex and sexuality. I knew I needed someone to help guide me. Jessica’s message resonated with me, we shared a lot of things in common, and to make a long story short, we’ve been working together since the Spring. She’s my sexuality doula and she’s been enormously helpful.Today we talk about shame, the messaging we receive as a children about sex and sexuality, and what that all means. We also talk about the common struggle women face when it comes to their feelings around sex. Plus, Jessica shares how the combination of affirmation and mindfulness can help with sex and intimacy. My hope is that our conversation will encourage you to explore inner work around your own sexuality and spiritual awakening. In this episode you’ll hear: About Jessica and her work, and how she is a sex coach who is more than a sex coach (13:00) The struggles and shame around the topic of sex and sexuality (15:36) What brought Jessica to her work as a sexuality, relationship, and self-love guide (19:52) Sexuality inventory: what it is and what’s the purpose (23:00) The most common struggle women face around sexuality and how Jessica helps with the desired outcome (30:00) Why self-compassion is so important to any kind of personal development work (47:00) Oh and by the way, to celebrate the launch of the new Your Kick-Ass Life website, we’re running a giveaway! It costs zero dollars to enter, we’ve made it ridiculously easy to enter (and you can enter more than once), and all you have to do is click HERE.http://yourkickasslife.com/312  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When life hands you a bunch of BIG things all at once, they tend to take up a lot of energy, time and capacity in your life. And that’s what I’ve been dealing with lately. I even contemplated taking a break from the podcast this week, but then decided to just turn on the mic and talk about everything that is going on. I believe by sharing some of my experiences and how I am working through them is helpful (not only for me), but for you as well. Tune in to the episode as I talk about three big things that are happening in my personal and professional life, what I'm doing about self-care, plus the feelings that surround it (read: guilt) and what you can do for YOUR life if you can relate.In this episode you’ll hear: My heartbreaking experience with bringing a rescue dog home Some book proposal news and waiting on a book deal Reflecting on how can you slow down in your life and take a break, guilt-free http://yourkickasslife.com/311  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Sydney Williams joins me on the show! Sydney is a former collegiate athlete and competitive skydiver (and it was news to me this is a competitive sport!) who unexpectedly found herself on the receiving end of a Type 2 diabetes diagnosis while grappling with unresolved trauma from a decades-old sexual assault. So what did she do? She set out on a mission to turn her pain into power. Two hikes across Catalina Island and 80 miles later, she founded Hiking My Feelings to help others tap into the mind-body connection and healing power of nature that helped kick her self-limiting beliefs and disease into remission. In this episode, Sydney and I had a conversation about enduring hardships, the choices we make in the wake of them, and how we cope and make peace with our pain. We also talked about how Sydney’s hiking trips led her to appreciate her body, as well as, accepting and reversing her Type 2 Diabetes diagnosis. Her story is an incredible one. Our conversation was a beautiful one. I hope you’ll listen. In this episode, you’ll hear: What led Sydney to hike the Trans-Catalina Trail, completely unprepared, armed only with delusional self-confidence (5:21) Some of the moments and lessons from her first backpacking trip (12:57) Embracing her body just the way it is and taking deliberate action to make her social media feed a place to find positivity and inspiration (13:50) Her Type 2 Diabetes diagnosis, how she handled it and what she did to reverse it (18:22) What it means to unpack your trauma and how Sydney began to unpack her own following a sexual assault (29:03) One step survivors of trauma can take to start the healing process (40:44) http://yourkickasslife.com/310  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Where were you in November 2009? This time ten years ago I had a two-year-old, a newborn, was finishing up my coach training certification and was in the planning stages of launching Your Kick-Ass Life into the Universe. At that time writing books seemed like a far-away dream as I felt I had enough plates spinning (and was dropping more than a few). As I look back on the last ten years, it’s clear that a lot can happen in a decade. Yes, I’ve had a lot of success and I’m incredibly grateful for that. But, to be honest, the thing I’m the most grateful for and proud of is the internal growth I’ve done. The mental and emotional growth I’ve intentionally moved through. I couldn’t have had the other successes like writing and publishing books and business growth without doing my own work. And I see you. I see you, the woman who listens loyally every week to this podcast, and other personal development podcasts every week. The woman who goes to therapy, who maybe goes to trauma therapy even though she’s had a good week and really doesn’t want to go. Who has that hard conversation with her partner even though she’s afraid. The woman who’s taking a closer look at her drinking, or who’s decided to get sober, or stay sober. Who’s kept on going on this personal development journey even though her family teases her about it because they just don’t get it. The woman who’s separated or going through a divorce and it’s been the hardest year of her life. And she keeps just putting one foot in front of the other. Who’s struggled with her health or infertility, we see you, we see all of you. The woman who’s lost a parent, or a friend, or her beloved pet. And no matter what you’re going through, no matter what your year has looked like, I know if you’re listening to this, you ARE on your way, you’re still on your journey to your best life. So, this is the last month of the D E C A D E. Let’s take a look back on it. Tune into this episode as I ask you powerful questions about where you’ve been, what you’ve learned, and what you want to take with you into the next decade. There is a special journaling worksheet to accompany this episode too. Be sure to grab yours at the link below!http://yourkickasslife.com/309  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am pumped to share today’s episode with you! Partly because it is a coaching session episode, partly because Tracie, the lovely lady I am coaching, is a longtime coaching client of mine, and partly because I was (and still am) fired up about the topic Tracie brought to our session! Oh and I also am doing something I haven’t done in a loooonnng time. All the details are in this episode, so you will have to listen in. 😉 We’re staring down the barrel at the end of the decade. So what are you declaring for the next decade? Well, for this week’s coaching client, Tracie, she’s grappling with following her heart and soul’s deepest passion - starting a business of her own. And as she inches closer to turning 50-years old this year, she came to me, looking for some help and some answers, to move closer to her goal.Wanting to follow your heart and your passion, but not taking action, is a topic many can relate. In fact, I see this all the time in my work. There may be something you are yearning to do but are unsure how to get there. Maybe your values are misaligned, your inner critic is holding you back or it’s something else entirely. In this episode, we explore the things keeping Tracie from moving forward, we discuss the concept of, ‘Sometimes being selfish is okay,’ and we walk through some actions steps Tracie can take to reach her ultimate goal - freedom from a job that she feels is holding her back. Know that you CAN be selfish, selfless, give back, and answer the calling of your soul. Keep that fire lit under your ass and in your heart, ass-kickers. And never, ever forget your why. I hope this episode inspires and motivates you to take the next step in your life. In this episode you’ll hear: Tracie’s feeling of being stuck in her job and not making any progress towards what she really wants to do (7:00) Not being aligned with what you want to be doing versus what you are doing (8:00) Tracie’s value around freedom and how she is craving it in her life right now (12:47) Feelings of selfishness and the whole concept of ‘what is selfish was okay?’ (16:00) I give Tracie some assignments so she can start going after what she wants in her career (23:17) Tracie’s kick-ass audio update (36:41) Resources mentioned in this episode:You Are a Badass At Making Money, Jen Sincero Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I welcome Nicole Whiting to the podcast. She is a “life pacer” who turned to running during a time of tremendous hardship. Instead of retreating and playing the victim, Nicole picked something extraordinary, ultra-running, to help her process and move the difficulties through her body. Now an ultra-runner and life coach, Nicole meets women “where they are” and gets them across the finish line. I’ve been looking forward to having Nicole on my show for a long time! I met her in January through a Mastermind group and y’all, she’s kinda stolen my heart. In this episode, Nicole and I talk about being out of your league, but still committing to being all in, and Nicole’s experience of moving from survival mode to thriving mode.I love Nicole’s story so much because so many people have experienced some kind of life altering event and struggle to move past it. Nicole says, “The race starts, when it starts to hurt.” And some might say, the real work (when it comes to personal development) starts when things start to feel hard. Our conversation truly talks to that idea and and how physical movement might be the key to help get you through life’s toughest transitions. In this episode, you’ll hear: How and why Nicole got into running and became an ultra-marathoner, plus what ultra-running is (9:51) Nicole’s experience with training and participating in an Iron Man race (12:00) How showing up, even in the face of the unknown, could be a gamechanger and what living life unapologetically means (18:00) The trauma Nicole faced when she was 13 and how it shaped her(21:00) Processing emotion through body movement (25:33) Nicole’s emotional and grueling experience running a 100 mile race, and what she learned from it (26:13) http://yourkickasslife.com/307  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Solo episode for you this week! Today I’m talking about taking breaks, introversion, and becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. Recently a friend of mine asked me how she could overcome her introversion. And I was like, “Wait, hold up!” Introversion is a character trait, not something to overcome. It is what makes you, you. Overcoming unwanted behaviors like the kind I talk about in my book, How to Stop Feeling Like Shit, yes absolutely.  Being an introvert, being tall, or having long fingers - those are things you should embrace and never shun away. I go into this further, in this episode. I also talk about being comfortable with the uncomfortable. To sum it up here, life is a series of uncomfortable and awkward events and conversations. Stop waiting for comfortable. Humans are ever-evolving (now I’m not trying to act like we’re better than everyone else, but I’m just sayin’ if you listen to my podcast you’re out there doing hard work and probably evolving at a faster rate than those who don’t. I mean… 🤷). And if I know you, I know you love to read personal development books, listen to podcasts, and know you’re taking action on bettering your life. YAY YOU! And sometimes you need a break. In this episode you’ll hear me talk about a big break I’ve been taking, what a psychic told me a few weeks ago about this break, and how I feel about taking lots of action and seeing results, and not taking any action at all. (Hint: you’re always exactly where you need to be). In this episode you’ll hear: Someone asked me, “How can I overcome my introversion?” and I share my answer You don’t have to always be ‘moving’ to feel like a productive member of society Why I am such a fan of taking a break and making myself a priority Trust your inner wisdom because she knows what is best for you  My meeting with a psychic and how she called me out  http://yourkickasslife.com/306  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Returning guest, Shannon Kaiser joins me this week on the YKAL podcast. She is the bestselling author of five books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment, including the #1 bestseller, The Self-Love Experiment and Adventures for Your Soul. Her new book, Joy Seeker: Let Go of What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Were Made For, is available this week! It is always a pleasure to talk to this amazing lady. Today we talk about joy, spirituality, and authentic living. As you will hear, the underlying message to our conversation is, giving yourself permission to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. We talk about how women can work to trust and believe in themselves, how to live more authentically and how to speak your truth. As Shannon said so perfectly during our time together, “It all comes back to living your life from a place of integrity, a place of truth, and a place of honesty; that is the true joy.”In this episode you’ll hear: What led Shannon to write Joy Seeker and how her experiences appear throughout it (8:00) Ask yourself, “What have you always wanted to do but have not given yourself permission to do?” (9:00) How women can work to trust and believe in themselves and how we can follow our hearts and our dreams; plus ask yourself, “What dream keeps coming back to you?” (11:00) Being in gratitude and exploring gratitude practices (30:00) How losing what you love most can help you find what you need and honoring your grief (34:00) Letting go of who you think you're supposed to be so you can be who you’re meant to be (39:00) http://yourkickasslife.com/305  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices