Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

As you may have heard (since I’ve been talking about it almost non-stop here), I’m still writing my book proposal for my third book. Book proposals are a slightly complicated, gigantic document that contains the summary of your book, who the book is for, and what magic fairies you’re going to conjure to help you sell the book. It contains other things too, but my point is, the way I describe writing book proposals is it’s like that school project you have that is enormously time-consuming, super boring, a metric shit-ton of work, and 99% of your grade is riding on it. Oh, and the class it’s for is the Big Enchilada Important Class. No big deal. As I’ve also mentioned before, this book will be slightly different than my first two. Still self-helpy, but it will have an edge. More opinionated. More in tune with what’s going on culturally and politically. And all of this is scary for me, as this entire year has been about healing, moving through all sorts of old shit, and leveling up. One of the things I’ve done to help myself is writing a letter to fear. Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this and I decided if it’s good enough for Liz, it’s good enough for me! In this week’s episode you’ll hear a few other things I’ve done to move through this time in my professional (and personal) life, and here is my letter to fear…Dear Fear, I’m not sure why I’m addressing you as “dear”, as you’re hardly dear to me in the least. Let me start with some compassion since you don’t necessarily deserve to be yelled at, berated, or chastised. So, I get it. I get why you’re doing what you’re doing. You know, or at least are very certain, that if I write a BIG book, (and by “BIG”, I mean with lots of opinions, and “with lots of opinions” I mean opinions that millions of women and men also have the same opinions. Oh, the irony) there is a HUGE risk involved. What if people disagree and write mean things about me on the internet? What if I don’t know enough about the topics and I’m criticized for that? But, I think the thing that scares you the most, is not bad reviews or haters...but the success of this book. With HTSFLS doing so well, this book has big shoes to fill. And by big shoes, I mean 100,000 copies in 16 months. A big book advance to PROVE how worthy my creativity is. Numbers have weight and there are so many numbers to contend with. To you, Fear, big numbers equal everything good and right in my life.... Read the rest of the letter HEREhttp://yourkickasslife.com/300  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Charlie Gilkey is back on the YKAL podcast this week, this time to talk about productivity with a twist. So many listeners offered such great feedback when he joined me on the podcast the first time around, that I knew I had to bring him back. For those of you new to Charlie, he is the founder of Productive Flourishing and the author of the new book, Start Finishing: How to Go From Idea to Done. Charlie helps people finish the stuff that matters. I mean, come on, we all could use a little bit of that in our lives, am I right? In this latest book, Charlie walks readers through some different perspectives around getting shit done, which we talk about in this episode. We touch on topics such as perfectionism and how it’s holding you back from reaching your goals, what to do when the naysayers or derailers don’t believe in your projects, and how to get motivated for a task you are dreading. Plus we talk understanding that you have moments of choice and how changing the way you talk to yourself (and about yourself) can change your life. This is a no-holds-barred conversation on productivity because quite honestly, it’s time to start finishing. In this episode you’ll hear: Why Start Finishing is different from other books on productivity (7:06) What to do when others don’t believe in your projects or ideas (20:00) How to get motivated to do the work you are dreading and what “confetti time” is (30:00) Fixing the load you are carrying so you can fix the overwhelm (35:04) Understanding you have moments of choice, changing your language and why it matters (39:00) http://yourkickasslife.com/299  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We like the idea of hiring a life coach, the idea of listening to all the podcasts, the idea of reading all the books and then, many times we don’t actually do the personal development work. Yes, doing this kind of what I call “passive learning” does matter. You are getting it in between your ears (better than your inner-critic!). But, there does come a time when action needs to happen. This week I have another YKAL Coaching episode for you. And Marisa, whom I coach in this episode, is a perfect example of someone doing the work. Let’s get into this week’s coaching session. Meet Marisa, a new entrepreneur and recruiting agency employee from North Carolina. She came to me because she wanted to learn how to slow down, which we talk about in this episode. But like many coaching sessions, our conversation took a turn. We turned to the topic of values, including the difference between perfectionism and striving for excellence, as well as, Marisa’s values around integrity and patience. And then the conversation zig-zagged to the topic of triggers around feedback and how her mother, starting from a young age, has been the source of that trigger. This is big stuff, y’all and I am so honored that Marisa opened up and was vulnerable in this way. In this episode you’ll hear: Being okay with slowing down and getting into the mindset that when you are building a business, it’s okay to pause (6:10) Wanting a better perspective and clarity around why she launched her business and keeping the entrepreneur fire lit (7:58) Exploring Marisa’s value around patience and the realization that she isn’t giving herself the same love she gives others in that arena (10:00) There’s a difference between perfectionism and striving for excellence (12:45) Self-fulfillment and living a life that honors her true, ‘why’. (19:00) How to have a hard and honest conversation with a loved one, and how the health of personal relationships is bigger than we realize (24:00) A super kick-ass update from Marisa and how she’s been doing the work (46:30) http://yourkickasslife.com/298  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s guest is going to knock your socks off, y’all. Kara Loewentheil is Master Certified Coach who has pivoted her law career into a life coaching business, using her background in feminism theory to help women get the patriarchy out of their brains. Kara is also the host of the podcast, Unf*ck Your Brain and simply a stunning individual. In today’s episode we talk all about the social messaging we receive as women and how this messaging plays into our own self-critical thoughts. Kara also talks about the work she does with women to undo the process and help them to think about themselves the way they want to. I’ve been looking forward to introducing you to Kara and I hope you enjoy our conversation. In this episode you’ll hear: The reason women’s inner critic or not feeling good is a direct result of the patriarchy (6:00) You can’t suddenly be nicer to yourself (aka inner critic work) (10:30) How Kara addresses thought work and those who have experienced trauma and why thought work is so personal (14:56) “Believing harder” when it comes to self-confidence and overcoming insecurity (19:50) There’s a disconnect between women taking action to get the things they really want and what is keeping them stuck (25:10) Beauty standards, diet culture and Kara’s commentary about it all (31:19) http://yourkickasslife.com/297  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am delighted for this week’s episode; for two reasons. First, we are back with an episode of Conversations About Shit That Matters with Unqualified People. And second, the unqualified person joining me is none other than my bestie, Amy E. Smith. If this your first time hearing her, I know you will love her. And if this isn’t the first time hearing Amy, well, welcome back! This week, we’re talking all about money. Everyone’s experience is different when it comes to money. Our stories vary, our circumstances might be different, but so many of us struggle in the same areas when it comes to money and our emotions. Amy has been on her own money journey for some time now and she even influenced me, gave me pause and helped me realize that I had a lot of money issues I needed to work on too. In this conversation, we share some of our own experiences with money, as well as some tips and tools with doing the work around money. We hope our conversation is hugely eye-opening and helpful. Let’s get on with it! In this episode you’ll hear: Why we think women have a unique perspective around money hang-ups (6:06) Unpacking our money stories and our relationships with it (8:01) Doing the work and shifting our perspective about money (18:00) Comparing money and income to others and trying to make others comfortable with your circumstances, plus some other money hangups we are still working on today (35:00) We also share some of our most elaborate money dreams (45:00) http://yourkickasslife.com/296  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Raise your hand if you said yes to something you really didn’t want to do. And in doing so, you are saying no to something you actually WANT to do. It’s another exciting day here over YKAL headquarters, because it’s another coaching session episode. 🎉I really enjoy sharing these episodes and I hope you enjoy them too! This week I speak with Colleen, a professional dog walker, who wants to work through saying ‘No’ and putting herself first. I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to what Colleen is struggling with. Sometimes in your life you do have sacrifice in order to survive, which was Colleen’s case. But once you make it, it’s time to enjoy and make sure you are putting yourself first. When you are learning to say ‘No’, realize you are unlearning decades of conditioning. And this can be hard y’all. But at the end of the day, your life, your health matters. So, the hard work matters too. And that’s what Colleen and I dig into this YKAL coaching session. In this episode you’ll hear: Colleen’s struggle with tremendous guilt when saying ‘No’ to her customers (4:58) Anytime we are saying ‘No’ to something, we are saying ‘Yes’ to something else (7:46) Colleen’s lists of core beliefs when it comes to saying ‘No’ and then challenging them (10:58) What core beliefs are and where they stem from (17:46) Negativity bias, shifting your focus and finding positive examples of people who set boundaries (19:42) A kick-ass update from Colleen following our coaching session (46:19) http://yourkickasslife.com/295  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To finish up the summer archived episodes run, I bring to you my conversation with Kate Courageous. This episode originally aired in May of last year - but the content is very much still applicable today! If you already heard it, it is worth listening to again. Kate is a dear friend of mine, as well, and I am thrilled that I can share this episode with you again, as it includes her thoughts on fear, courage, and the inner-critic.  Kate is also the author of The Courage Habit: How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life. I am so happy her book is available! Today, we cover the brain science behind courage habits, and identifying and then dealing with habits that are holding you back.  In this episode you’ll hear: Four fear patterns that get people stuck  Some ways we try to deal with fear  The more you go into the things you fear, the wider your comfort zone becomes  Reaching out and creating a community, courage-based values, and being vulnerable  Fear is a wound and needs understanding and how to strike a balance with fear  http://yourkickasslife.com/294  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are back this week with another archived episode that is from a long time ago. In it, my friend and associate Amy Ahlers, author of, Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves and Reform Your Inner Mean Girl, talks about all things inner mean girl (aka inner critic)! Since the original airing of this episode, I have really gotten to know Amy. She has so much experience and tenure in the personal development industry, this woman knows her stuff, so I am happy to re-share this episode with you. We all love formulas and processes, right? Well, Amy has come up with a 3-step process for transforming your inner mean girl, which she talks about in the episode. In this episode, you’ll also hear: What exactly is inner-wisdom and what to do if we don’t know where to start when it comes to listening to it.  I ask Amy what is the most common big fat lie women tell themselves. (The answer doesn’t surprise me at all!)  Amy tells us what her biggest trigger is and what are the steps she actually takes to manage her own inner mean girl. I ask Amy about a blog post she wrote, “Is Your Need to Belong Sabotaging You?” and what do we do when we find ourselves changing who we are just to fit in and belong I love that Amy and I have so much of a similar philosophy about the inner-critic and I hope this episode is helpful to you! http://yourkickasslife.com/293  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey Ass Kickers! I hope you are having a happy summer. This week on the podcast, Rebekah “Bex” Borucki is back! For those of you who are new to Rebekah, she is a mother of five, TV host, a meditation and yoga guide, and, a birth Doula. She is also the author of two books, You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life and her newest book, Managing the Motherload.  Rebekah’s mission is to make mental health support and stress management tools accessible to all, especially black and indigenous people of Color, LGBTQ plus folks and other marginalized communities. And I am super pumped to bring my conversation with Rebekah to you today. We discuss her new book, including some of the lessons she’s learned over the years from being a mother. But let’s be clear, before you check out of this episode, Rebekah states both in her book and in this episode, Managing the Motherload is not a parenting book. So if you aren’t a parent, today’s episode still applies to you. We discuss topics related to being a parent, but the same topics can be applied to supporting, caring and understanding anyone in your life. For instance, we discuss being a parent of a child that comes out as transgender and unrelated, why bragging can be important for your self-esteem. Be sure to tune in until the end to hear how you can enter to win a copy of Rebekah’s book! In this episode, you’ll hear: The whole idea behind her Rebekah, Managing the Motherload (8:14) How Rebekah has changed as a mother over the years (12:10) Understanding what really matters and what doesn’t (14:46) We talk about what Rebekah means when she says, “She was a mother before being a woman.” (14:58) The story of Rebekah’s son coming out as a transgender male and some advice from Rebekah for supporting your child who comes out (20:06) Bragging: why it’s important to do so and the best way to brag (31:35) http://yourkickasslife.com/292  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am sharing an archived episode, because ALL of us, including me, need to take a break every now and again. And I vowed to do just that this July. Today, I welcome you to listen to an oldie but goodie, my conversation with long-time friend, master certified life coach and as of this year, my coach, Susan Hyatt! Susan has been coaching for well over a decade and has thousands of fans, including Dr. Martha Beck and Maria Shriver! One of the things that has won her many fans is the fact that this woman walks her talk. She’s used coaching techniques to drop 35 pounds, revitalize her marriage and uplevel her career.We discuss a mishmash of topics including why body issues are holding women back from leading big lives, what we can do right now to make peace with our bodies, and why it’s so important to take big risks!In this episode, you’ll also hear: Pay gap, not thigh gap: why body concerns are distracting us from our real work. Why you’ll only reap big rewards if you risk something. What's the #1 way to be successful in career and relationships? What does Susan mean when she says “make a scene”? What are the three shame shields? What is the antidote to shame? What's the one thing comes up over and over that stops us from playing big? If you want the best worthiness workshop what should you do? Susan and I also touch on the necessity of feeling your feelings, even when it’s vulnerable and painful to do so and how to make a scene in your life. The subjects are deep, powerful and real but you’ll laugh along with us too. Enjoy!http://yourkickasslife.com/291  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices