Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

Today’s conversation is dedicated to the many loves that make up our lives—especially that of our friends. Dolly Alderton is a Sunday Times and New York Times bestselling writer and memoirist. She recognizes the great gift of the friends who have walked with her through many seasons of life—all the highs and lows and inbetweens.  In this conversation, Kate and Dolly discuss: The great loves that make up a life The push-pull of loving relationships with your body  The power of witness If you liked this conversation, you'll also like: Liz Gilbert on fostering creative lives Sarah Bessey on living inside our (actual) bodies Tim Omundson and Joel McHale on being a friend through hard times   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, Rev. Dr. Sam Wells, vicar at St. Martin-in-the-Fields and a prominent theologian, dives deep into the essence of 'being with.' He discusses the challenges of staying close to those in pain without the impulse to fix their problems. Sam beautifully illustrates the unexpected strength found in simply showing up for others. He emphasizes that love can be tough, the importance of surrendering the need to help, and highlights the profound beauty in shared moments of presence during life's darker times.

Wilma Derksen, a victim advocate and speaker, shares her profound journey after the tragic murder of her daughter, Candace, in the 1980s. She and Kate delve into the complexities of living with grief and the challenging path to forgiveness. Wilma discusses the ongoing struggle for self-forgiveness and how community support played a vital role in her healing. Their conversation emphasizes the intricate relationship between trauma and forgiveness, highlighting the transformative power of understanding and connection in the face of unimaginable loss.

Maya Shankar, a renowned expert in personal growth and host of A Slight Change of Plans, dives deep into the profound impact of unexpected life changes. She shares her reflective journey after a devastating cancer diagnosis, challenging the misconception that success is solely earned through effort. The conversation touches on the emotional turmoil of facing mortality, navigating hope amid suffering, and the importance of community support. Shankar urges listeners to confront the unpredictability of life with empathy and resilience.

Parker Palmer, a writer, teacher, and activist, shares his wisdom on navigating despair and maintaining hope amidst societal challenges. He discusses his journey through clinical depression and the importance of redefining achievement. The conversation emphasizes how community engagement can counter negative media narratives, transforming heartache into compassion. Palmer encourages listeners to embrace their brokenheartedness as a means to foster genuine connections and reminds us that even in dark times, our hearts can remain soft and resilient.

Charles Spencer, author and historian, known as Princess Diana's brother, opens up on his memoir detailing the harrowing experiences at an abusive boarding school. He candidly discusses the emotional toll of childhood trauma, the challenge of confronting past fears, and the transformative power of sharing painful stories. The conversation emphasizes the importance of vulnerability in healing and explores how intimate connections formed during tough times can foster resilience. Tune in for a profound reflection on trauma and recovery.

Tembi Locke, an actress and author known for her best-selling memoir "From Scratch," discusses her profound journey through love and loss. She reflects on her decade of caregiving for her husband, an Italian chef, and the transformative power of grief. Tembi shares how reconnecting with Sicily and her husband's heritage helped her heal and navigate her identity. The conversation explores the complexities of shared suffering in relationships, the architecture of life in the face of grief, and the beauty of storytelling as a way to honor memories.

Kathryn Mannix, a palliative care physician and cognitive behavioral therapist, offers profound insights into the delicate realities of facing mortality. She discusses the importance of palliative care in navigating difficult choices and confronting fears associated with end-of-life decisions. Through heartfelt stories, she illustrates how hope evolves from seeking cures to cherishing moments with loved ones. Mannix emphasizes the need for open dialogue and understanding the natural process of dying, reminding us that love and courage are essential in these challenging times.

Father Greg Boyle, the Founder of Homeboy Industries, shares his profound experiences working with former gang members in Los Angeles. He emphasizes the importance of seeing unshakable goodness in others, highlighting the transformative power of compassion and community. Boyle discusses how healing can replace punishment within the carceral system and the joy that arises from genuine connections. Their conversation punctuates the significance of unconditional love and the role of empathy in overcoming shame and trauma, fostering a deeper understanding of faith and joy.

Christie Watson, a nurse and writer, hilariously navigates the ups and downs of midlife in this engaging conversation. She shares her eye-opening moment in a frozen food aisle, reflecting on the absurdities of aging and the importance of prioritizing joy. Christie emphasizes nurturing strong female friendships and embracing whimsy in daily life. With insightful anecdotes about navigating perimenopause and the joys of self-discovery, she encourages listeners to challenge their perspectives on midlife and make space for joy amidst responsibilities.