Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick
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Nov 4, 2025 • 1h 14min

S21E12 The Commitment Conundrum

Have you ever been with someone that said they wanted to get married – yet couldn't seem to pull the plug when it came to commitment? What happens when they have a pattern of ending things as they are getting serious? We're talking to our guest Steve Budd about his continued search for "The One" and how his struggles with commitment have ended numerous serious relationships despite him wanting to get married more than anything. We're discussing wanting a relationship vs. having the capacity for one, the fall out of how Dreamer tendencies can get ahead of themselves in relationships, and how to preserve hope as you date through your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.Follow Steve @buddgram and learn more about his performances: https://www.stevebudd.com/Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode is sponsored by the dating app Hily: https://hily.go.link/kuZOy. If you want safer dating, download Hily from the App Store or Google Play, or check out https://hily.go.link/kuZOyWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Nov 2, 2025 • 25min

#brunchtalk: Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?

You may have seen the viral article 'Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now"? from Vogue circling around. We're giving our two cents on the article: from why are equating social media to life, the difference of having your own identity vs. being embarrassed about having a relationship, and how this article is missing research, depth, and nuance to actually decode a trend on relationships. Let us know your take if you've read the article, or if not, check it out first: https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now.Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comGet OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content about modern dating. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 28, 2025 • 1h 20min

S21E11: The Art Of Moving On (After Heartbreak) w/ Kendra Allen

Whether it was from a situation you thought was going to become more to your ex of five years, moving on after heartbreak is one of the most challenging parts of finding love. We're here with your breakup bestie Kendra Allen who is joining us to talk about what it looks like to regain your sense of self and come back stronger after heartbreak...to eventually meet the love of your life (or actually get back with your ex in a way that it is sustainable for the long-haul). We discuss how to know whether you made the right decision when you ended things, ways to rebuild your confidence after a breakup, and heartbreak hacks that make you unstoppable. Plus we debrief on Julie's honeymoon to Greece + Yue's family trip in China. Follow Kendra @yourbreakupbestie and listen to her podcast 'Heal Your Heartbreak' (we are episode #254) wherever you get your podcasts.Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode is sponsored by the dating app Hily: https://hily.go.link/kuZOy. If you want safer dating, download Hily from the App Store or Google Play, or check out https://hily.go.link/kuZOyWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 26, 2025 • 26min

#brunchtalk: Our Top 10 Red Flags To Watch Out For

We're not talking about...they wore a weird belt. Or have three cats. But the REAL red flags that eventually wreck havoc on your relationships and turn into dealbreakers. For anyone dating, this episode is a must (or if you're seeing someone the perfect gut check). We're discussing how to shift our focus onto actual red flags, the 5 each we both see leading to absolute relationship dealbreakers, and why it's important to look out for red flags (pending you're looking for the right ones). Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comGet OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content about modern dating. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 21, 2025 • 53min

S21E10: How To Be A SuperCommunicator On Your Next Date (Or In Your Relationship) w/ Charles Duhigg

Have you ever had a date where it felt like pulling teeth to have a conversation? Or a conflict with your partner where it felt like you were speaking different languages? Join us as we unravel the power of being a super communicator with Charles Duhigg, acclaimed author and expert on interpersonal dynamics. We discuss why communication is the key to chemistry and connection on dates, the three different conversations that can happen at the exact same time (without us even realizing), and techniques you can use to keep the conversation flowing on your dates, messages, and everything in between.Follow Charles @charlesduhigg and get his book 'Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection"Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode is sponsored by the dating app Hily: https://hily.go.link/kuZOy. If you want safer dating, download Hily from the App Store or Google Play, or check out https://hily.go.link/kuZOyWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 19, 2025 • 19min

#brunchtalk: This Is How You Never Settle Again

The "S" word...the dirtiest word in dating. No one wants to settle. And we're 100% advocating that you never settle again. But all too often we focus on the wrong things when trying not to settle – and sometimes end up settling even more than we realize. We're discussing the ultimate settling paradox, the actual definition of settling, and the two things to do to make sure you never settle again.Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comGet OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content about modern dating. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 14, 2025 • 57min

S21E9: The Emotional Labor and Mental Load (In Dating & Relationships)

Who carries the weight in your relationship or early dates—the calendar, the check-ins, the emotional temperature checks? We're diving into the mental load that happens in modern relationship – and what brings you closer versus take on unnecessary hardship. We're discussing the difference between emotional support, labor and load, the behind-the-scenes effort that shows up even in early dating, and the shifts you can make so you're no longer the one carrying as many emotional burdens (that you may not even be aware of!)Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode is sponsored by the dating app Hily: https://hily.go.link/kuZOy. If you want safer dating, download Hily from the App Store or Google Play, or check out https://hily.go.link/kuZOyWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 12, 2025 • 31min

#brunchtalk: How To Get Asked Out On Dating Apps

In the world of dating apps, it's easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of messaging without ever meeting in person. Join us as we explore the art of the ask-out – or hinting at an ask-out if you're reluctant to make the first move. We discuss how to make sure your conversation doesn't go into that dreaded messaging graveyard, the balance between being pursued and taking initiative, and why understanding the limitations of dating apps may actually change your perspective of why you may not be getting asked out as often as you'd like. Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comGet OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content about modern dating. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 7, 2025 • 1h 7min

S21E8: Dating Apps, D*ck Pics, and Sexts: Why We Need Digital Sexual Consent w/ Dr. Mindy DeSeta

Have you ever gotten that unwanted sexual message or pic on a dating app? You're certainly not alone, which is why we need to talk about digital sexual consent and what dating apps are doing about it. We're joined by Dr. Mindy DeSeta, a sexologist and advisor for the dating app Hily, to talk about the shocking types of messages that are sent without consent, what types of safeguards and precautions are being put in place to reduce unsolicited sexual behavior, and why consent actually can help heat up a connection on the apps when used intentionally.Follow Dr. Mindy DeSeta @drmindydeseta and check out: https://www.insight-miami.com/Download the dating app Hily: https://hily.go.link/kuZOyTake the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Oct 5, 2025 • 30min

#brunchtalk: The Difference Between Being Picky & Having Standards

What's the difference between having standards and not being so picky that there's no one that's good enough to date? Join us as dive into a nuanced look of the fine line that allows you to meet people at your level – while also having an abundance mindset that many good people are out there. We discuss the most picky criteria we've ever heard, how to differentiate between genuine standards and superficial checklists, and how to still get the treatment and love you deserve while being open to the people you meet. Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comGet OUR BOOK + take the Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content about modern dating. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Bioma Health: Get an extra 15% off with the code Dateable at https://gobioma.com/DATEABLE* Check out Knix and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: https://knix.com* Happy Mammoth: Try Prebiotic Collagen Protein and Hormone Harmony risk-free AND get 15% off your order at https://happymammoth.com with the code DATEABLE* Kensington Publishing: Check out House of Rayne by Harley Laroux wherever books are sold in print and in eBook. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available for a limited time so grab yours before they are gone: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Washington Red Raspberries: Find more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips at https://redrazz.orgSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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