Sex and Psychology Podcast

It is hard to believe, but we recently reached episode number 200 of this podcast! So how do you celebrate 200 episodes of a sex show? I decided to put together a compilation of some of the most fascinating facts about sex we’ve discussed to date. One of my co-managing editors at Sex and Psychology, Olivia Adams, helped me to narrow down several segments that are well worth revisiting. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: “Erotic self-focus” or the degree to which you turn yourself on, with guest Dr. Marta Meana (Episode 126) The growing number of men who are involuntarily celibate, with guest William Costello (Episode 133) What women are looking for in their affairs (and how they feel about them), with guest Susan Shapiro Barash (Episode 191) How religious values shape the way we interpret our own porn use, with guest Dr. Joshua Grubbs (Episode 186) The benefits of being single and how they change with age, with guest Dr. Yuthika Girme (Episode 174) In this show, I mentioned that there’s a guide for how to use this podcast as a companion teaching resource alongside my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality. This resource is already up on the site, and you can access it here.  Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans are wired to feel good when we get the kind of touch that we want. But when we can’t get that, it’s bad for both our physical and psychological health. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, most Americans said that they weren’t getting enough intimacy and affection, and this number has only increased since. So how can we fill this touch void in our lives? Could modern technology offer some solutions?  In today’s show, we’re going to discuss digital touch and whether tech might offer new and effective ways to meet our need for intimate contact. I am joined once again by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: Why is touch crucial to making virtual reality an immersive experience? How close is modern technology to mimicking real-life sensations of touch? To what extent can technology be an effective substitute for human touch? Is it realistic to think we can get the same benefits from mechanical touch that we can from human touch? What are the ethical concerns surrounding digital touch? Make sure to check out Michael’s website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the keys to maintaining healthy, long-term romantic relationships is physical intimacy. I’m not just talking about sex, though. For many reasons, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so. In today’s show, we’re going to do a deep dive into why touch is so powerful, as well as why affectionate touch is one of the best ways to initiate sex and to have great sex. We’re also going to explore practical tips for bringing more touch into your relationships. I am joined by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: Why is kissing such an important part of intimate touch? How does culture influence our preferred forms of intimate touch? How and why is hugging beneficial for our relationships? Why is touch so important during sexual initiation? How can physical affection help to unlock the benefits of sex on our well-being? What does it mean to “make affection, not love?” Make sure to check out Michael’s website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Let’s talk about sexual fantasies! In today’s show, we’re going to explore what people fantasize about doing sexually—and how that varies around the world. So how does culture influence what we fantasize about? We’re also going to discuss how people feel about their fantasies, where our fantasies come from, and how they change over the course of our lives. In addition, we’ll talk about some practical tips and tricks for sharing fantasies with a partner in case you’re interested in bringing them to life. I am joined once again by Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss include: How similar or different are sexual fantasy themes around the world? Why do Europeans seem to fantasize about cuckolding less than Americans? How might our political beliefs affect our fantasies? How do people feel about their sexual fantasies? What do we know about the origins of our fantasies? What’s the best way to share a fantasy with a partner? Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Let therapy be your map and get on your way to being your best self with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH to get 10% off your first month.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual fantasies are fascinating! There is so much diversity and variability in the way we envision these scenarios, so let’s talk about it. Today, we’re going to dive into some of the interesting details of our fantasy worlds, including where they take place, the perspective from which we see things, and the storylines they follow. My guest is Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What questions should you ask when interviewing people about their sexual fantasies? Beyond vision, what role do the other senses (smell, taste, sound, touch) play in sexual fantasies? Where do people usually fantasize about having sex? How important is the setting in our fantasies? Do we usually appear in our own fantasies and, if so, how do we tend to represent ourselves? Do people tend to see their fantasies from a first-person POV perspective, or from a third-person perspective (i.e., like they’re watching a movie)? Do fantasies usually have a distinct storyline with a beginning, middle, and end? Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? There’s a lot more that goes into it than you might think! In today’s show, I’m going to interview a porn director about her process, including where she gets her ideas about what kinds of films to make in the first place. We’ll also talk about all the work and conversations that happen long before people ever strip down and start having sex, what it’s like to be on a porn set, how long it takes to film a scene, as well as what happens after filming ends. My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What is it like to be on the set of an adult film? Is the sex scripted/choreographed, or does it occur organically? What’s going on inside a director’s mind during filming? Is making adult films an arousing experience? What does aftercare look like in the world of porn? Be sure to check out more on Paulita’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Over the last decade or so, many of the conversations about porn taking place in the popular media have shifted to the topics of ethical porn and feminist porn. But what does it really mean for porn to be ethical or feminist in nature? Does this imply that all mainstream porn is inherently unethical? Can we really think about the porn industry in these black-and-white, good vs. bad terms? Let’s talk about it! My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include: What do the terms “ethical porn” and “feminist porn” mean? What are some specific actions directors can take to bring ethical and feminist values into filmmaking? What does it mean to be an ethical porn consumer? As a porn consumer, what should you be looking for in order to support ethical productions? How can we convince people to start paying for their porn? Be sure to check out more on Paulita’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. You can also read our review of Paulita’s “How To Watch Porn” course here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

While it might be tempting to assume that people who cheat aren’t in very satisfying relationships, it turns out that even people who are very happy and in love with their partners sometimes commit infidelity, too. So why is that? Let’s talk about it. I recently released a few episodes of the show looking at women who have affairs (Eps 190 and 191), so we’re going to focus more on men today. Specifically we’re going to look at a new study of Ashely Madison users, a website that facilitates affairs and has a mostly male audience. We’re going to discuss why men (including those in happy relationships) have affairs and how it affects their primary relationships. I am joined by Dr. Dylan Selterman, a social/personality psychologist and an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Johns Hopkins University. Dylan is a TEDx speaker and has written for The Washington Post, National Geographic, and Psychology Today. He also co-hosts a podcast called A Bit More Complicated. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include: How are sexual and relationship satisfaction linked to infidelity? How many Ashley Madison users are in open relationships vs. committing infidelity? What motivates men to seek affairs? How do they feel about their affairs ? What predicts whether an affair becomes a breaking point for a relationship? Be sure to check out Dylan’s website and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. You can also check out our recent blog post about this study to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Imagine a woman wanders around a college campus and asks 100 different men at random whether they’d have sex with her. Now imagine a man wandering around the same campus asking 100 women for sex. How many people do you think would agree in each case? It turns out that we have the answers because this exact study has been done before! Today’s show is going to be all about how people respond to offers of casual sex from strangers, and how the results are similar or different across persons of different genders and sexualities. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: Why are women less likely to accept offers of casual sex than men? Under what circumstances are women most likely to accept offers of casual sex? What would happen if a celebrity (vs. a random stranger) asked you for casual sex? What is Pleasure Theory, and how can it help us to better understand human sexuality? Are lesbians as willing to accept offers of casual sex as gay men? For further reading on this subject, check out: Clark, R. D., & Hatfield, E. (1989). Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 2(1), 39-55. Conley, T. D. (2011). Perceived proposer personality characteristics and gender differences in acceptance of casual sex offers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(2), 309. Matsick, J. L., Kruk, M., Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., & Ziegler, A. (2021). Gender Similarities and Differences in Casual Sex Acceptance Among Lesbian Women and Gay Men. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50(3), 1151-1166. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In 2017, the world’s first sex doll brothel opened its doors. Since then, several others have opened up in major cities around the world.  These brothels exist in a gray legal zone and a lot of governments don’t want them around, which makes it tricky not just to set up shop, but to actually stay in business. So what is a sex doll brothel actually like? Who visits these establishments, what are they looking for, and how much does it cost? Let’s take an inside look at Cybrothel, a very unique sex doll brothel in Berlin where customers pay to have sex with a doll while a human sex worker provides the doll’s voice to make the client’s fantasies come to life. I am joined once again by Dr. Kenneth Hanson, an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology. Using qualitative and mixed methods, his work has examined social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He has published papers about dating apps, the sex tech industry, Reddit, and sex doll owners. Some of the topics we discuss include: How is a sex doll brothel different from a traditional brothel? How common are sex doll brothels around the world? Where are they located? What is it like to serve as the voice for a sex doll? Who is the clientele for these brothels? What does it cost to visit a sex doll brothel? How does this compare to rates for in-person sex work? Will sex doll brothels eventually replace in-person sex work, or are they serving different audiences? Be sure to check out Kenneth’s website to learn more, and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.