Episode 232: What To Do When Your Partner Is Kinkier Than You

I’ve received countless emails from people who have discovered that their partner has a kink they didn’t previously know about—and, now, they’re not sure what to do because they’re not into it. So what do you do when you’re a vanilla person and it turns out that your partner has a kinky streak? The fact that you both want different things from sex doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, so let’s talk about how to make it work.

I am joined once again by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect.

Some of the topics we explore include:

• For people who are worried that they’re “too vanilla,” what do they need to know?
• How can people better navigate the strong feelings they might have when discovering a partner’s kink?
• When partners have different fantasies and desires, how do you find common ground?
• How can opening up a relationship help partners bridge a sexual desire discrepancy?
• Is it always possible to make things work when partners want very different things from sex?

To learn more, check out Sefani’s website.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.