Join the conversation today as Dave and Liz invite doctors Don and Carrie Cole,founders of the Center for Relationship Wellness, onto the stronger marriage connectionpodcast to bring you some amazing tools and strategies for creating more connection in your relationship. Don and Carrie’s work is backed by years of scientific research with John and Julie Gottman, so you won’t want to miss out on today’s episode! The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by Dr. John & Julie Gottman About Dr. Don & Carrie Cole:Dr. Carrie Cole is the Director of Research for The Gottman Institute and manages theGottman Love Lab. She holds a Ph.D. in psychological research and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She is a licensed professional counselor and an approved LPC supervisor in the State of Texas, a licensed mental health counselor in the State of Washington, and a Certified Gottman Therapist. Carrie is a Master Trainer for The Gottman Institute and trains therapists in Gottman Method Couples Therapy around the world. She is a consultant for the certification program and has led The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples multiple times a year since 2008. Carrie has also published peer-reviewed journal articles independently and with doctors John and Julie Gottman. Her work with couples includes couples therapy, workshops, seminars, and intensive marathon sessions. Carrie and her husband, Dr. Don Cole reside in Seattle, WA. Insights:Don: Things can't just fix themselves. You have to repair things. When things aren't feeling right, you have to fix it.Carrie: Couples who are connected to each other have a lot of rituals that they really enjoy doing together.Liz: The beauty of these tools is that they bring us such hope. Across the board. No matter where we are in our marriage.Dave: Lack of attention leads to loss of connection. Invites:   ●    Create meaningful rituals of connection. Set a time each day that works for you and your partner where you can talk about how you’re doing as a couple.   ●    Next time you need to bring up an issue to your partner, use a softened startup. Talk about how you feel, what happened (without using “you”), and state what you need inpositive terms. Write it out if you have to. How a conversation starts is likely how it’sgoing to end.   ●    Have a stress reducing conversation with your partner. If your spouse expresses an emotional experience, try not to problem solve or side with the enemy. Ask goodquestions. Show compassion, empathy, and validation. Dr. Don & Carrie Cole Links:- Centerforrelationshipwellness.com- carrie@gottman.com- don@gottman.com- gottman.com   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection podcast, Dr. Dave and Dr. Lizdiscuss some of the top tips they call “Happy Hacks” that help us flourish as individuals andbring more happiness into our relationships. Strong marriages are built on the virtues andcharacter strengths of the spouses, so join the conversation to learn what you can do starting today to better yourself and your relationship! Insights: Liz: Living amidst conflict hurts our health. Living amidst good, warm, loving relationships is protective.Dave: If you want to be instantly happy, do something kind. Do something thoughtful, send someone a text, write them a letter, or send them a note. Doing something kind makes you a happier and a positive person and then that spills over into your marriage. Invites:    ●    Are there areas in your personal life that you can tweak to be healthier physically and mentally? Where can you create an upward spiral toward greater happiness as anindividual and as a couple?   ●    Do your facial expressions tell your spouse: “I see you. I notice you. I’m glad you’rethere”? If not, make a goal to show in your facial expressions that you appreciate yourpartner.   ●    Practice mindfulness by intentionally choosing to enjoy your day. Be fully present in each moment without judgment.   ●    Create a gratitude journal for your spouse. When you’re upset with them, practice the “drop and do 10” exercise by writing down 10 reasons why you appreciate your partner. Episode Links: Signature strengths survey - https://www.viacharacter.org/ Robert Waldinger Harvard study ted talk -https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On todays’ episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz welcome Richard and Linda Eyre back on the show to shed some light on grandparenting and how to make your marriage thrive as empty nesters. Richard and Linda share some powerful tips and tools from their online course and community called grandparenting101.com so that you can prepare now for this exciting phase of life!Timestamps:0:00 – Introduction: Who are Richard & Linda Eyre?2:44 – “Gray Divorce” & why the divorce rate has gone down in recent years4:39 – The dynamics and chemistry of the relationship change when it’s just you two again6:19 – Creating a new vision statement for your marriage when the kids are gone7:47 – Being a team as grandparents helps your marriage to thrive9:28 – The time when the kids are gone may be longer than the time when the kids are there11:21 – Look forward to empty nesting by planning things to do together; see it as an opportunity to focus on eachother again13:07 – When couples have joint projects they thrive together16:50 – Going your separate ways on grandparenting will only create divisions18:17 – Monthly meeting with your children about how to grandparent their children20:08 – Using zoom to stay connected & talk about how to support grandchildren22:03 – Renewing your commitment to each other in this new phase & writing it down23:13 – What can couples do now to prepare for & strengthen their marriage as empty nesters?25:32 – Write down things you adore & appreciate about the other person27:09 – Grandparenting101.com - an online community for grandparents30:51 – Don’t just be a grandparent, be a grand husband or a grand wife33:00 – Richard & Linda’s takeaway - live life in the present & remember why you married your spouse About Richard & Linda Eyre:Richard and Linda Eyre are the parents of nine children and are among the most popular speakers in the world on parenting and families. They've presented in more than 45 countries and are New York Times best selling authors of numerous books on parenting couples and families. The Eyres have been frequent guests on national network shows including Oprah, the Today Show, Primetime Live, 60 minutes, Good Morning America, and once did regular segments on the CBS Early Show. Their parenting website valuesparenting.com provides ideas,guidance and creative programs for families throughout the world, including programs on grandparenting and empty nest parenting. Richard & Linda Eyre Links:   -    www.valuesparenting.com   -    www.grandparenting101.com   -    Books: The 8 Myths of Marriage, Being a Proactive Grandfather,          The Happiness Paradox   -    Social Media: @richardlindaeyre   -    Email: Richardmeyre@gmail.comInsights:Richard: How well your marriage is doing in your senior years is directly related to how proactive you are as a grandparentLinda: Sometimes the things that bother you the most about your spouse are the things that you love the most, if you really stop and think about it.Liz: If we fail to plan then we plan to failDave: Having both grandparents on board will strengthen their relationship Invites:   ●    Start talking about what you want your marriage to look like after the kids are gone. Create a new vision statement and write it down.   ●    Grandparents - go to dinner with your children, who are parents, and discuss how you four can work together to support their kids. What do they want your help on? What don’t they? Work as a four person team for the benefit of the kids.   ●    Renew your vows in some way. Recommit to each other in this new stage of life you are in. Write them down and remind yourself of them as you move through this phase of life together.   ●    Write down things you adore about your partner and your kids. What are you grateful for about them? What do you appreciate them for? Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Listen in as Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit down with Emil Harker, a respected therapist andtalented author, to give you some practical tips and tools for turning conflict into connection and closeness. By following a few powerful principles, we all have the ability to use inevitable conflict for good in our relationships. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Emil Harker?3:19 – Conflict is inevitable - tips for dealing with it in the moment5:40 – Handling situations so you feel good and your partner loves you more7:29 – Assuming good intent - hijacking the limbic system10:18 – They want to feel good, they want you to feel good, and they’re doing the best they can.13:34 – Really taking the time to understand your partner’s behavior15: 38 – Criticisms are a catalyst for conflict18:02 – Addressing criticisms by agreeing with the element of truth21:15 – Responding to attacks - criticism, questions, declarations, commands24:08 – “The Betrayed CEO” - how the fundamental attribution error hurts us30:23 – Bad things happen, how we handle them will either make or break us32:48 – Understanding the crap out of your partner - validating their emotional experience34:41 – Problems aren’t the problem, how we handle the problems are the problem36:15 – The process creates connection, not the solution38:20 – The key to a stronger marriage: develop the ability to seek, receive, and respond to feedback40:37 – Make your marriage a priority42:56 – Liz’s takeaway: conflict can either be constructive or destructive, it is up to us43:44 – Dave’s takeaway: Remember who your partner really is - find the message behind the mess About Emil Harker:Emil has been doing therapy for almost 20 years. He is passionate about getting through the fluffy stuff to the real nuts and bolts that help people turn inevitable conflict into closeness. He has been on Channel 2 Fresh living program for over 10 years and is a frequent expert guest on podcasts, and radio and tv programs. Emil has worked with NBA, UFC, and NFL athletes. He has his own podcast called The Emil Show and his book “You Can Turn Conflict into Closeness” has been well received by professional therapists and couples alike. Emil Harker Links:- emilharker@gmail.com- https://www.emilharker.com- on social media @emilharker- podcast: The Emil Show- books: You Can Turn Conflict Into Closeness Insights:Dave: When we view others differently, we start treating them differently. It’s a powerfulparadigm shift.Liz: My mantra to myself and to my spouse is: “I give you permission to not be perfect and I will still love you”.Emil: If the process is what we are devoted to, then no matter what issues we have we will never have to compromise on the closeness and companionship of the intimate relationship. Invites:   ●    Before responding to a critical attack from your partner, try to practice “agreeing with the element of truth” by owning your flaws and acknowledge what is true in thatmoment. Although it’s natural, try not to get defensive. This only feeds our insecurities.   ●    Practice getting feedback from your partner and responding to it in a positive way. You could do this by asking what they might need you to do differently during conflict andthen thanking them for their honesty.   ●      Make your marriage a priority by focusing on connection rather than the solution during conflict. You could do this by validating your partner’s emotional experience or taking the time to try to understand their behavior before responding to their criticisms.   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Join in today on the Stronger Marriage podcast as Dave and Liz sit down with Mark Ogletree, a professional marriage and family educator, to guide you through how to not just survive, but thrive in your marriage. Whether you’re a fiance, newlywed, or long-time spouse, these tips apply to all couples and are sure to help you strengthen your relationship. About Mark Ogletree:Mark is a professional educator, having taught for over 20 years in the Church’s seminary and institute program. Since 2010, he has worked as a professor in the department of Church History and Doctrine at Brigham Young University. He is also a licensed professional counselor, having worked with individuals, couples, and families for the past 30 years. Mark is the author of books and articles on topics ranging from marriage, family, and contemporary Church history. He has also been a regular presenter at Brigham Young University’s Education Week for the past 20 years. Mark and his wife Janie have been married for 35 years. They are the parents of eightchildren, and 22 grandchildren. Mark and Janie love spending time with their children and grandchildren, traveling, and spending time on the lake. Mark Ogletree’s Links:www.markogletree.com www.preservingfamilies.org Preserving Families podcast Books: Babysitters Are Cheaper Than Divorces and So You’re in Love, Now What? Insights:Dave: Comparison is the thief of joyLiz: It is absolutely normal for engaged couples to get irritated with each otherMark: Anytime a couple can work out conflict, that’s a healthy relationship Invites:  -   Whether you're engaged or newlywed, sit down with your partner and discuss at least three of the topics mentioned by Mark Ogletree. Examples could be finances, intimacy, or in-laws. Having these conversations will ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.  -   Alone or with your significant other, take the free RELATE assessment on the UtahMarriage Commission website to evaluate and gain a better understanding of yourrelationship. At the end, choose one meaningful discussion question and have aconversation about it with your partner.  -   Never stop dating your spouse! Write notes, surprise each other, send sweet texts,compliment and praise one another like you did before you were married. Keep doingwhat made you fall in love in the first place.  -  Decide with your partner what some good “talk and time together rituals” would workfor you as a couple. Whether it’s going on walks at night just the two of you or havingtime alone in the morning before the kids wake up to plan the day ahead. Make theserituals an important part of your daily connection. Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ This podcast is produced by: Utah Marriage Commission, Rex Polanis, and Alexis Allcott

On today’s episode Dave and Liz invite Dr. Bill Doherty, internationally recognized marriage expert, back to the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast to discuss the power of discernment counseling. Join us to learn how couples facing crisis can avoid divorce and strengthen their marriage by utilizing discernment. About Dr. Bull Doherty: Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on challenges couples face in the modern world, on navigating marital crisis and avoiding divorce, and on using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. His books for the public include The Intentional Family and Take Back Your Marriage. In recent years, Bill has taken this couple's work to the national level via co-founding Braver Angels, an initiative working to decrease the politicalpolarization that is dividing the country. Among his awards is the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Academy. Dr. Bill Doherty Links:https://www.moderncommitment.com Invites:      ●   If you are the “leaning in” spouse, bring your best self forward to the crisis by really trying to hear and understand the pain your partner is in. Denial, begging, and/or pleading will not work in discernment counseling. To do this, write down one way you can improve conflict with your partner and provide a plan for change.      ●   Sit down with your partner this week and determine the state of your relationship. How are things going? Could they be better? How can you strengthen your current connection?      ●   If you determine you are in need of therapy, choose a therapist or counselor who provides structure and connection and is supportive of marriage and commitment.   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss betrayal trauma and the three A’s: abuse, affairs and addiction. Geoff shares some great tips to help both partners through the challenges and struggles of the trauma that is often the result. About Geoff Steurer: Geoff Steurer has a passionate commitment to helping couples rebuild theirrelationships from crisis to connection. He specializes in helping couples and individualsaffected by the trauma of sexual betrayal. He understands how exhilarating and stressfulmarriage can be and works hard at his own marriage. His goal is to show couples how his work will pay off in their own lives.Steurer specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, treating pornography andsexual addictions, infidelity, men's issues, anxiety, depression, anger management, andfamily therapy. He is the co-author of "Love You, Hate the Porn", creator of the "TrustBuilding Bootcamp", host of the podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and author of aweekly online Q&A column. Geoff Steurer Links:https://www.geoffsteurer.com/https://www.geoffsteurer.com/podcast https://www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT https://www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/ Insights:Dave: Reach out, reach out for help and find someone you trust to speak with.Liz: Hope. There is so much to be hopeful about. Believe in marriage and look at the other side.Geoff: Learn to see the other person as someone who is different than you are. Invites:     - Learn how to stay close to your partner so you can find your way back to each other       when dealing with betrayal and trauma     - Don’t be afraid of the truth, your marriage can handle it     - Recognize that there are a lot of people who struggle with these things, do not feel       ashamed. Get help and know you are not alone.     - Take the 12 week self-guided online course if you have broken someone’s trust. Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today’s episode, Dave and Liz discuss some New Year’s resolutions that couples can make to intentionally strengthen their relationships. Whether you want to create more fun and adventure in your marriage or slow down and have more alone time with your partner, listen in for some life-changing tips and tools you can use to improve your marriage in 2023. Insights: Dave: The big picture for me is that people are more important than problems.Liz: Regrets are not the end of the world. We don't want to have no regrets, because regrets teach us what we value the most. Invites:    ●    Liz encourages couples to try to put their arguments to rest or at least come to a truce within an hour and certainly within the day. Do not let things go on past the day - the faster the better.    ●    Be less reactive and more responsive. Part of that is watching your temper, your tongue, and your tone. Dave encourages that it’s okay to feel intense feelings but don’t follow them as far as to react to them.    ●    Aim to understand. Even if you don’t agree, try to see the situation from your partner's perspective, creating more compassion. In your mind, try to come up with three reasons why they might be right.    ●    Even if you disagree with someone, you don't have to confront them. You don't have to bring it up. Relationships can significantly improve if one or both partners would leave some things left unsaid. Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Wally Goddard joins Liz & Dave to explore how humility, curiosity, and understanding are at the heart of true human connection. As we refine our own character, we perceive our partner with new eyes and experience true joy in our relationship. Listen in to understand how irritation can be an invitation. About Dr. Wally Goddard: After receiving a PhD in Family and Human Development fromUtah State University, Wally was a Professor at Auburn University and later at the University of Arkansas. He created many award-winning programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. Wally created and hosted Guiding Children Successfully, a television series for PBS. He has written, edited, or co-authored several books including Discoveries, Between Parent and Child, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Finding Joy in Family Life. In 2010, he won the national award for Outstanding Family Life Educator. Wally and Nancy have three children and 14 grandchildren. Links: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-wally-a-fresh-view-on-gospel-living/id1543963177 https://latterdaysaintmag.com/author/wallace-goddard/ Insights: Dave: We need to be healers not preachers. Liz: Focus on the eighty percent with Heart Wally: The willingness to see goodness in your partner gets you more goodness.   Invites: Get curious. Ask your partner in humility why they do something differently. Listensincerely and without judgement. Make a list of 50 different qualities you appreciate in your partner. Decide to stop criticizing a specific behavior, quality, or attribute of your partner.Choose to accept them as they are right now, instead of trying to change them.   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What are the most important things couples need to know before they get married? Dave and Liz discuss with Dr. Les Parrott advice for newlyweds, engaged couples or married people based off of years of research and working with couples. Time Stamps: About Les Parrott: Dr Les Parrott is a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at Northwest University. He and his wife, Leslie – a marriage and family therapist – are founders of the Center for Healthy Relationships on the campus of Olivet University.Married in 1984, the Parrott’s speak together in a wide array of venues, from churches toFortune 500 company board rooms. The Governor of Oklahoma even appointed the Parrott’s as the first ever statewide Marriage Ambassadors.The Parrott’s have been featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Their televisionappearances include CNN, The View, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show and Oprah.   Les Parrott Links: https://loveology.org/ https://www.betterlove.com/ Less Parrott Books   Insights: The power of marriage is shown through the dual cooperation, ownership, respect andempathy for the marriage. Each partner must put in the work to grow with the other anddevelop themselves along the way. Doing this can be difficult, therefore, it is imperative to seek out help from researched and valued resources available.   Invites: Submit a list of six questions that you would like to answer on Loveology.com.2. Read the Parrott’s book and develop three things you can your partner can do to helpyour marriage continue to thrive.3. Write down one thing about conflict with your partner that you want to improvebecause you feel it is unfair for your partner. Make a plan of how to master it andimplement it in your next conflict   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.