On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sitdown with Dr. Bill Doherty, back from Season 1 due to popular demand, to share how we can all become marital first responders. A long time Marriage and Family Therapist, he is an expert on challenges couples face when navigating marital crisis. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Bill Doherty?2:29 – Where the idea of marital first responders comes from4:42 – First important step in being a first responder.6:32 – Other Do’s and Don’ts9:45 – We can be an influence12:16 – Common complaints from marriages15:26 – Perspective skill technique example19:16 – Learning to protect boundaries21:36 – Unforced error24:12 – You can be a friend to someone and their marriage30:33 – What to say without adding negativity31:14 – Where to get more resources from Bill32:55 – Takeaways   About Bill Doherty: Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the Universityof Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on challengescouples face in the modern world, on navigating marital crisis and avoiding divorce, andon using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. His books for the publicinclude The Intentional Family and Take Back Your Marriage. In recent years Bill hastaken this couples work to the national level via cofounding Braver Angels, an initiativeworking to decrease the political polarization that is dividing the country. Among his awards is the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family TherapyAcademy.   Insights: Bill: Marriage is existing of social relationships and when people open up, it is a precious gift they are giving. It is good to be mindful and intentional in how we respond. Dave: We can have empathy without agreeing with others perspectives, you can still show compassion and lend a helping hand even if we don’t necessarily agree with what they may be saying. Liz: LEAP: Listen, empathy, affirm and positive perspective   Invites:    •    Check out maritalfirstresponders.org and participate in some of the workshops available to you.    •    When giving advice to friends it is important to be a good friend to that person but also their marriage, listen with empathy but don’t rush to give advice. Don’t jump to take a friend’s side without considering the whole picture.    •    Use life experience when giving out advice, you may not be an expert but we all have experiences to take and learn from when helping others.   Bill Doherty Links: https://thedohertyapproach.com/about/ Bill Doherty Books https://memberium.com/   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sam and Ember were on the verge of divorce for several years. They were a couple that Dr. Liz Hale worked with in her private practice, and they are willing to no longer be private but go public and share how they miraculously turned their marriage around from miserable to incredible. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who are Sam and Ember?2:35 – What is something you wish you would have known before getting married?4:51 – Contributors to the breakdown of a marriage9:00 – Sam’s background11:56 – How can two people experience one marriage differently?15:45 – Addressing ‘me’ to fix ‘we’20:00 – Ember’s ah-ha moments toward change26:01 – Sam’s ah-ha moments toward change31:00 – Communication strategies36:43 – The role of forgiveness in healing41:08 – Strategies to maintain connection43:14 – Advice for couples on the brink46:16 – Honesty is a key for a stronger marriage connection. Seek what’s best for the marriage. Insights: Sam: Get help. Some issues may be beyond what the two of you can do together. Be honest. You can decide what kind of spouse you want to be. Ember: Deal with conflict before the weekend. Start your weekend with a clean slate. Invites:    -    Deal with conflict as soon as you can. If there is something bothering you, sit down and have a conversation about it with your partner when you both are in a clear headspace.    -    Take some time today to evaluate yourself. Is there something you need to forgive yourself for?     -    Give your partner a hug, a small peck on the cheek, or a squeeze of the hand today. Just a little physical affection can go a long way.   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you ever feel like your partner is more like a roommate than a spouse? This isn’t uncommon for couples to experience, and is actually a feature of marriage than a bug. Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Nate Bagley about “Roommate Syndrome” and discuss how being in this rut can act as a catalyst for growing up our marriage. As something that everyone in a relationship encounters, this podcast is a must-listen-to resource to create a stronger marriage connection! Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Nate Bagley?1:42 – Fear of a mediocre marriage3:59 – Interviewing the most successful and happy couples6:15 – What is “roommate syndrome”?10:20 – How to get the spark back in your marriage12:30 – How to get out of the roommate rut18:01 – Roommate syndrome is a feature, not a bug19:57 – Happiness is a byproduct of growth22:20 – The Eisenhower Matrix27:10 – What do we need to do to have a great marriage?30:10 – Maximize enjoyment for both people32:48 – Nate Bagley resources33:32 – Nate’s takeaway: you have more control over your marriage than you think35:33 – Liz’s takeaway: remember maximum joint enjoyment36:06 – Dave’s takeaway: the pillars of friendship – I like you, I know you, I trust you About Nate Bagley: Nate Bagley is a marriage researcher and educator whose mission is to rid the world of mediocre love. His passion is helping people DO the things that make their relationships extraordinary. In 2012, Nate did a cross-country road trip where he interviewed the country’s most madly-in-love couples, and renowned relationship experts to discover the secrets of truly epic, lasting love. Since then, he’s given a TEDx talk, and been published in Business Insider, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, the Gottman Institute blog, and many other outlets. He always loves hearing from his readers and listeners, so please feel free to reach out to him at his website here. Insights: Nate: Happiness is a byproduct of growth and roommate syndrome is a byproduct, not a bug. Roommate syndrome gives you the opportunity to grow up. Dave: Foster the 3 pillars of friendship: I like you, I know you, I trust you. Liz: Remember to focus on maximum joint enjoyment. Invites:    -    If you feel like you and your partner have roommate syndrome, try doing something out of your comfort zone today (ask a personal question, address a topic that makes you anxious, etc.).   -   It’s the little things that get you out of roommate syndrome. Try making your partner a meal they wouldn’t expect (like breakfast or lunch), or sending them a sweet text while they’re away (even if not for very long).   -    Try to make your marriage enjoyable for everyone. Is there something you grew up doing that your partner doesn’t particularly enjoy? Talk about it with them. What could you do to make things more enjoyable for them? Nate Bagley Links:    -    https://growthmarriage.com/    -    https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/awr/   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Dr. John Van Epp who brings to light some of the most important things we can do when selecting a life partner as well as how to strengthen those relationships over time. We learn some of the predictors of how long-term relationships will turn out as well as some principles to help navigate both red and green flags within our relationships. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is John Van Epp?2:42 – Life-partner selection process11:58 – Predictors of getting to “know” and getting to “no”13:33 – Media love vs True love16:10 – Let heart and head work together20:00 – Discerning our partner is a process26:16 – 5 ways to notice green flags and red flags31:30 – With definition comes implementation34:02 – Attraction alone is not enough35:04 – Key areas to address stressors and struggles in dating40:43 – Being equally yoked strengthens connection42:32 – Have a game plan for managing your relationship44:26 – John’s relationship resources47:10 – John’s takeaway: heart and head are meant to work together48:38 – Liz’s takeaway: Partner selection process is key49:04 – Dave’s takeaway: Trust and commitment grow over time, RAM is a great resource About John Van Epp: John Van Epp, PhD, President and Founder of Love Thinks, LLC is the author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette) - top choice for singles by Christianity Today; Becoming Better Together: the RAM plan for growing together when life is pulling you apart; and Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faithand Family in America. He has previous experience as   -    a founding church pastor   -    an adjunct seminary professor in marriage and family with extensive research inpremarital, marital, and family relations   -    a clinical counselor for 25 years in his private counseling practice   -    and for over 20 years, he has trained military personnel and contracted with the military as a subject matter expert (SME) in relationship health, psychology, religion, suicide, and resilience. For the past 25 years, he has developed relationship programs that have been taught by over 35,000 certified instructors to over one million participants. He was awarded the Smart Marriage and the NARME Impact Awards, and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, Psychology Today, O Magazine; he has appeared on the CBS Early Show, Good Morning America, Fox News, and Focus on the Family. Insights: John: With definition comes implementation. Your heart and your head are meant to work together in making decisions. Dave: Trust and commitment grow over time. Liz: There is very little you can do to compensate after marriage for choosing poorly before marriage. Invites:    -    After your next date, self-reflect and ask yourself: “Was there something I could have said or done to make my partner feel more seen?”   -    Take a dating class to better help discern what kind of person you are dating and if they are someone you want to be with long-term.   -    When getting to know someone, ask about or observe one of these 5 subjects: family, conscience (belief system), compatibility potential (what kinds of things do you agree on?), track record (dating/relationship history), and/or their skill level of relationships. John Van Epp Links:    -    https://www.mylovethinks.com/   -    Dr. Morgan Cutlip Instagram   -    https://ramseries.com/   -    Healthy Relationships Utah Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our podcast today is with our guest speaker Dr. Robert Navarra. He talks about addiction and how there is hope in recovering. An interesting talking point he mentions is that recovery should be done as a partnership. He provides some helpful insights for partners in dealing with the disease of addiction that can sweep into a relationship. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Robert Navarra?2:44 – Fear and misunderstanding of addiction5:42 – What’s the difference between codependency and interdependency?9:34 – What partners of addicted individuals should know11:03 – Addiction impacts the relationship not just the individual just like a disease14:31 – Most common addictions15:49 – Safe levels of drinking18:50 – Rituals in relationships create connection21:52 – Resources to help with creating rituals23:39 – Understanding addictions and affairs27:53 – Couple recovery resources32:16 – Advice for partners of addicted individuals35:15 – Responding to your partner in a way that feels good to create a stronger marriage connection37:35 – The smallest unit of intimacy38:12 – Robert’s takeaway: addiction is treatable and it is preventable39:32 – Liz’s takeaway: be aware of “secondhand harm”37:00 – Dave’s takeaway: there is hope; we’re in this together, let’s do this together. About Robert Navarra: Dr. Navarra has been a Certified Gottman Therapist since 2007 and is a Master Trainer, Consultant, and Researcher with the Gottman Institute. He has trained therapists nationally and internationally and is a popular presenter at conferences, webinars, podcasts, and in the media. He has co-authored book chapters with Drs. John and Julie Gottman on Gottman Method Couples Therapy, as well as co-authoring with Dr. John Gottman three articles on Gottman Therapy for the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy. Dr. Navarra developed a relational model of addiction assessment and treatment and has been published in textbooks and in the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy on systemic approaches in addiction recovery. Dr. Navarra was also recorded presenting a workshop that he developed, Couples and AddictionRecovery Training, for an online class offered by the Gottman Institute that requires therapists in the Gottman Certification track program to complete. The Gottmans also invited Dr. Navarra to present his model with them at the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference. He is currently collaborating with the Gottmans on researching the effectiveness of a workshop for recovering couples that he designed called, Roadmap for the Journey: A Path for Couple Recovery. Additionally, he teaches addiction assessment and treatment in the Graduate Counseling Psychology Program at Santa Clara University in California Insights: Robert: If you want to reduce conflict in your marriage, then focus on the times when you’re not in conflict. Dave: There is hope. We’re in this together, let’s do this together. Liz: Be aware of “secondhand harm”. Invites:    -    To reduce conflict in your marriage, or in any relationship you may be struggling with, focus on the times when you aren’t in conflict. Focusing on the good reduces conflict.   -    If there is problematic substance use in your relationship, go to a professional to figure out to what extent it is an issue and if there really is an addiction.   -    The smallest unit of intimacy is responding to your partner in a way that feels good. When you respond to your partner, give them your attention to show them that you care for them. Robert Navarra Links:   -    Love Map Card decks   -    https://Drrobertnavarra.com   -    Free courses   -    Workshops and Events         o June 10-11 workshop         o Oct 21 and 28 workshop Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dave and Liz talk with Dr. Matt Townsend on the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast today about how we can foster our basic needs in our relationships. Dr. Matt shares seven principles that we can use to increase our marriage connections: Safety, Trust, Appreciation, Respect, Validation, Encouragement, andDedication. By adhering to each of these principles our needs as well as our partner’s needs can be met in healthy ways. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Matt Townsend?3:12 – What’s going on with marriages today?4:50 – S.T.A.R.V.E.D: Safety7:39 – T: Trust9:02 – A: Appreciation12:24 – R: Respect14:20 – V: Validation16:57 – E: Encouragement20:33 – D: Dedication23:00 – Matt’s keys for a stronger marriage connection26:08 – Matt’s resources27:40 – Matt’s takeaway: it’s not over ‘til it’s over and find the power in principles29:49 – Liz’s takeaway: you have to be vulnerable to be known and loved30:16 – Dave’s takeaway: To encourage is to truly see and understand another person About Matt Townsend: Over the last few decades Matt has dedicated his life to the study of communication and interpersonal relationships. Matt worked as a lead presenter for the industry leader, Franklin Covey, for many years. About 20 years ago he founded the Townsend Relationship Center where he has been able to share his expertise on relationships, communication, anxiety and conflict resolution with thousands of clients ranging from individuals, married couples and parents, to large corporations such as CNN, Cox Communications, and Lockheed Martin. Dr. Matt earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in Communication, a second master's degree in Human Development, and a doctoral degree (PhD) in Human Development. He is a weekly contributor to KSL TV’s show “Studio 5 with Brooke Walker”. Matt's book, Starved Stuff: The 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships, is a popular pick among those searching for better relationship skills. He also has many online programs available on marriage, dealing with anxiety and parenting. Matt is active in his church and community and enjoys swimming, playing tennis and spending time with his wife, Mardi of 32 years and his 6 children, 4 in-law children and 5 grandchildren. Insights: Matt: Count the given good. Dave: Notice and be aware of the good your partner does. Liz: Barbie dolls must be as important as the little girl is in order to really make her feel that we are encouraging her. Invites:    -    Encourage your partner’s dreams and aspirations.   -    If simply feeding your marriage is still not “filling you up”, get help so you        don’t continue feeling starved.   -    While you might not be able to find power in power, you can find power in principles. Find ways to foster the S.T.A.R.V.E.D. principles in your marriage. Matt Townsend Links: Starved Stuff: Feeding the 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships https://Matttownsend.com 10 day marriage makeover   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today’s podcast of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dave and Liz talk to Dr. Cole Ratcliffe about how we often get stuck in bad behaviors in our marriage relationships. Dr. Ratcliffe explains five steps that help eliminate bad behavior and provides some tips that might help increase connection in a sustainable way. Showing our partners we love them takes time and effort, but is incredibly worth it! Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Cole Ratcliffe?2:29 – Why are annoying and bad behaviors so common?4:42 – “Helping” is not always helpful7:10 – Why we get stuck in bad behavior10:48 – Marriage is the great revealer of weaknesses14:54 – There is no justification for bad behavior17:15 – Take personal responsibility for our needs19:25 – Recognize your partner’s needs20:32 – 5 Steps to help eliminate bad behavior25:10 – Simple things to do to improve connection26:40 – How to say I love you in a personal way28:44 – Patience is the 5th step29:40 – Investment in unselfishness is the key for a stronger marriage connection31:12 – Resources from Cole Ratcliffe31:59 – Cole’s takeaway: taking time to understand gives us traction for meeting our partners emotions andneeds32:39 – Liz’s takeaway: turn around the meaning of “but” in our apologies33:11 – Dave’s takeaway: don’t react to the behavior, respond to the need About Cole Ratcliffe: Cole Ratcliffe was raised in Springville, Utah, and completed a bachelor’s degree at BYU. He obtained a masters and doctoral degree in marriage and family therapy from Kansas State University. Currently, he teaches full-time at BYU-Idaho in Marriage and Family Studies and oversees their online program. He hastaught numerous courses in his career, such as human development, marriage, marriage prep, marriage skills, parenting, and relationship education. Dr. Ratcliffe maintains a small private clinical practice where he conducts individual, marriage, and family therapy, including discernment counseling. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Jenna and together they have 5 (almost 6) children. In his spare time, he enjoys spending time with his family, hiking, hunting, playing sports, and watching college football. Insights: Cole: Take personal responsibility for having our needs met. Dave: Don’t react to the behavior. See the unmet needs. Liz: We need to turn around the meaning of “but” in our apologies. Invites: Focus on the things you can control. Respond to the need underneath the behavior. Identify the things you need to stop doing. Apologize with the proper use of the word “but”. Find a few small and simple things to increase connection that are sustainable. Be patient with yourself and with others. Cole Ratcliffe Links: - https://www.Byuido.org   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our conversation today is with Dr. Jeremy Boden who talks about the importance realistic and hopeful expectation have in creating a stronger marriage connection. By committing to our partner and being aware of their needs, we can build our relationships in such a way that helps them last beyond the newlywed years. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Jeremy Boden?1:56 – Why would we need relationship education when we love each other so much?4:59 – Marriage is a loss of some expectations7:00 – Biggest issues newlyweds face9:26 – Intentionality is key to avoid “drifting”11:04 – Adjust expectations15:40 – Expectations will be adjusted throughout our lives16:43 – What does commitment look like?21:55 – Over-reactions can wreck our connections23:15 – S.T.O.P. technique24:40 – Resources for newlyweds26:35 – Keys to a stronger marriage connection – Safe, Seen, and Soothed29:12 – How to prepare for and navigate the newlywed years30:38 – How to choose a marriage partner32:38 – Jeremy’s takeaway: be aware of your partner33:58 – Liz’s takeaway: there is always hope35:13 – Dave’s takeaway: exercise mindful awareness About Jeremy Boden: Dr. Jeremy Boden is an associate professor of family science at Utah Valley University. He teaches courses in marriage and relationships, human sexuality, family dynamics, and couples therapy in the marriage and family therapy program. Jeremy is a licensed marriage and family therapist and maintains a small private practice inProvo, Utah where he specializes in couples and discernment counseling. He's also the owner and director of the Center for Marriage Preparation which helps couples get ready for marriage through his Before We Say I Do program. Jeremy is married to his beautiful and wonderful wife, Daria and they are the parents of four children. Insights: Jeremy: Help foster a stronger connection with your partner by helping them feel safe, seen, and soothed.Dave: Compassion is the blood of relationships.Liz: Expectations for your relationship will always need to be adjusted throughout your life. Invites:    •    For the first 5 years of your marriage, commit to reading one marriage book with              your partner per year.   •    Connect once a day and date once a week with your partner.   •    Talk with your partner about what expectations might be in your wagon Jeremy Boden Links:    -    https://marriageandfamilysolutions.teachable.com/    -    https://www.symbis.com/couples/    -    https://extension.usu.edu/strongermarriage/relate-assessment   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz have a great conversation with Dr. Alex Korb talking about the little things we can do to create a stronger marriage connection. Happiness hacks start with us which then can translate into strengthening our relationships through understanding our own and other’s perceptions. Timestamps 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Alex Korb?2:25 – What makes the Upward Spiral unique?7:45 – The healthy “we” starts with the healthy “me”9:10 – Our brains are wired to notice the negative and ignore consistency12:48 – Practicing gratitude; direct your attention to what you can acknowledge is good14:47 – Understanding depression and anxiety15:57 – Acknowledge that you have a perspective18:09 – Depression and anxiety are common; there is nothing broken or wrong with your brain20:53 – Why do we get stuck in bad habits so easily?24:29 – Focus on the little small tweaks for your body that create an upward spiral30:28 – Gratitude is something you can do on your own to improve your relationships34:16 – Breaking negative patterns activates reward circuits37:12 – Expressing gratitude does not have an expiration date39:22 – When to reach out to a medical professional42:09 – Any step is better than being stuck43:21 – Everyone’s perspectives are different46:20 – Alex’s takeaway: when things are feeling really bad, realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem48:33 – Liz’s takeaway: why the why48:53 – Dave’s takeaway: Doing small things breaks up relationship ruts About Alex Korb Dr. Alex Korb is a neuroscientist, coach, and bestselling author of The Upward Spiral. He is the founder of The Upward Spiral Method where he helps smart, passionate professionals conquer unnecessary overthinking, stress, and self-doubt to unleash the brain's potential for passion, productivity, and purpose. Dr. Korb has a wealth of experience in yoga and mindfulness, physical fitness, and even stand-up comedy. Insights Alex: All we need to do is one small step. It doesn’t have to fix everything, it just has to be better than the default of the downward spiral your brain wants to go in. Dave: A little small win can help create an upward spiral for our relationships. Liz: Understanding why something is good for me rather than being told what to do gets my attention Invites:    •    To get out of a mental rut, take a little step to break out of your brain’s default of negative habits. Try going for a walk, stepping outside in the sun, or even standing up for a few seconds.   •    Expressing gratitude and kindness is something in your control. Write down a few things you may take for granted but are grateful for nonetheless. Doing so tells your brain to focus more on the good rather on the negative.   •    You can’t always control your feelings, but you can control your actions. Take action by saying thank you to someone that influenced you in some way, even if it was a few days, weeks, or years ago. Gratitude does not have an expiration date. In fact, it tends to have even greater weight and mean more to the receiver over time. Alex Korb Links https://www.facebook.com/alexkorb https://www.instagram.com/alexkorbphd/ https://alexkorbphd.com/ https://alexkorbphd.click/guide   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See our website for privacy information.

Today Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit down with Dr. Terri Orbuch who is also known as the love doctor and discuss taking your marriage from good to great. From communication to frustration to positivity and managing money, Terri breaks things down into practical principles that anyone can apply. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Terri Orbuch?2:49 – Terri’s research4:32 – 46% of married couples divorce5:15 – The positive and optimistic statistic of 71% of divorced couples7:52 – Affirmations in marriage9:54 – The biggest reason relationships don’t work is frustration11:05 – Conflict, disagreements and differences are inevitable12:34 – We need to make sure we have realistic expectations14:38 – What is more important to husbands than wives?16:03 – We need to feel like we are part of a team18:44 – The 10-minute rule that partners need to practice21:43 – Excitement and passion declining is inevitable in all relationships23:15 – Do something new and novel with your partner25:26 – Three strategies to increase passion and excitement in your relationship26:37 – It is ok to take a break when you are irritated28:37 – Keep each issue or specific annoyance separate30:31 – The number one source of tension or conflict among couples is money33:00 – Happy couples focus on what’s going well, and focus on the positive35:21 – Resources37:22 – Takeaways About Terri Orbuch: Dr. Terri Orbuch is a world-renowned relationship expert, author, speaker, therapist,distinguished professor at Oakland University, research scientist at University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and media personality whose practical science based advice had helped 1000’s of people find and create the loving relationships they deserve. She is also the director of a landmark study funded by the National Institutes of Health, where she has been following the same couples for over three decades. Insights: Terri: It is all about the little things, waking up and giving affirmations or actions of affirmations. Spending 10 minutes every single day taking about something other than those four topics. Dave: The little affirmations and things are powerful. Liz: Take one issue at a time, your brain gets overloaded and overwhelmed if you try to do too much at once. Invites:    -    Take on one issue at a time within your relationship   -    It’s all in the little things, spread daily affirmations to your partner   -    Practice the 10-minute rule with your partner each day Terri Orbuch Links: https://drterrithelovedoctor.com https://www.facebook.com/DrTerriLoveDr/ https://twitter.com/drterrilovedr?lang=en https://www.instagram.com/terriorbuch/?hl=en   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See our website for privacy information.