Stronger Marriage Connection

Kevin and Racy Parr joining Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about theirexperience in a blended family and 28 years of marriage.About Kevin & Tracey ParrKevin and Tracy Parr have been married for 28 years and run a business together in St. George,UT. They have 3 kids together with two that struggle with mental health illnesses. They haveyears of experience working through differences and the difficulties of re-marriage. Kevin andTracy have been nicknamed “velcro” because of the way they enjoy doing everything together.Insights“Every now and then we just had to figure that it was okay to completely, totally disagree about something, and table it for a while.” - Kevin Parr 25:57-26:22“I feel that you need to stay connected with your spouse and in all the things that you do.” - Tracy Parr 31:43-32:02“One of the authors we had on recently, Ted Lowe would say this favorite phrase, which I really coined is "I would feel the same way if I were you." Which is probably true, right?” - Dr. Liz Hale 38:33-38:55InvitesFind a new resource; a book, podcast or instagram page that will help you to learn more about what you and your spouse are wanting to work on.In parenting, remember to not take your child’s feeling of sadness or anger as personal attacks against you.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Ryan Law joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss managing money withinstrong marriages. He talks about the importance of assuming the best and the 5 Money Habitsto financial success.About Ryan Law:Ryan Law is the Director of the Utah Valley University (UVU) Money Success Center. He is anaward-winning educator who teaches the Financial Counseling courses as part of the PersonalFinancial Planning program at UVU. Ryan is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional (CFP®)and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). Ryan is the author of the books, “Student LoanPlanning,” “Make Positive Changes” and co-editor of the book “Financial Counseling.” Ryan and his wife, Traci, have been married for 24 years and they live in Utah county with their 5 children.Insights:“I would encourage couples to do two things. First, to not assume bad intent on your spouse's part. And second, to wait until you have all of the facts.” - Ryan Law“Those who give and find a way to give in a way that they both agree to are healthier, happier, and even richer.” -Dr. Liz Hale“Nobody wins really, as soon as it erupts and it becomes emotional when you get defensive and name calling everything you had just doesn't just does not go well” -Dr. Dave SchrammInvites:Think of an experience when you had wrong assumptions about the way that they spentmoney and think about what you could do differently next time to assume the best.Join Ryan Law’s email list to learn about more tips that will help you to master the money side of your marriageRyan’s Links:https://money-marriage.com/https://powerpay.orgVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Dr. Liz Hale:Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Kris and Adrian Maiava join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about theirexperience in meeting with Dr. Liz Hale. They talk about their experience in coming togetherthrough therapy and overcoming addiction.About Kris and Adrian Maiava:Kris and Adrian met in Utah although they grew up in Hawaii and Australia. They share anincredible story of working through struggles and addictions, separations and learning to loveand trust again. After three years in an intensive treatment program, Kris learned things abouthimself and his marriage that changed his life. And Adrian learned patience and experiencedtremendous growth as she hung on to hope and learned to forgive. Together they have grownstronger than ever and enjoy parenting their 5 year old daughter Lola.Insights:“I guess some questions to ask yourselves as to you know, do you still want to be partners with them, with your significant other? Do you still want to do this with them? If so, if yes. And if they want to as well, then I think it's worth it.” - Kris Maiava“Better choices lead to better chances.” -Dave Schramm“But there was a point in your life where you decided, this is the person that I want to do lifewith. So that should be the person that you offer the most grace to.” -Adrian MaiavaInvites:If you are struggling with addiction, seek outside help.Have a 10 minute discussion with your partner about something that is challenging yourrelationship and find a way to overcome it togetherVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Dr. Kim Allen joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about Family Life Coaching.She talks about what it is, what it isn't, and even a few examples and stories of clients she'sworked with.About Kim Allen:Dr. Kimberly Allen is Interim Associate Dean and Director of Academic Programs and Professor in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences at North Carolina State University, as well as CO creator of the family life coaching Association, and co-owner of Sweet Gestalt LLC. Dr. Ellen has over 20 years experience working with youth and their families. Her research interests include family life coaching, student success, parenting and relationship Education. Dr. Ellen is author of the book “Theory, Research and Practical Guidelines for Family Life Coaching.”Insights:“So really at its core family life coaching is taking what we know in Family Science about what's good in couple relationships, what's good and family relationships and partnering that with the process from coaching psychology.” - Dr. Kimberly Allen“You said the words listening for instead of listening to. You listen for feelings, you're listeningfor strengths, and just trying to see things from their perspective” - Dr. Dave SchrammInvites:Learn more about Family Life Coaching on the FLC Association’s website.Consider reaching out to a Family Life Coach to help you to improve your interpersonalrelationships.Kim Allen’s Links:Organization Website: flcassociation.orgPersonal Website: drkimallen.com Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Beth Goss joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about tips for bringing ababy home. She discusses the principles taught in Gottman’s “Bringing Baby Home” program.About Beth GossBeth Goss is a certified Gottman, educator and a training specialist for the bringing baby home program. She is also a full time faculty member at North Seattle College, where she teaches aparent education and child development classes to families raising children from birth to five years. Additionally, she was previously employed by Swedish Medical Center to teach childbirth, postpartum and sibling classes. She has authored several articles and has been interviewed for several podcasts discussing the transition to parenthood. Beth is originally from Queens, New York, but has called Seattle home for 31 years. She lives there with her husband and loves it when her adult kids visitInsights:“The key for us was what we call the three T's watching our temper, tongue, and tone.” - Dave Schramm “That's not why you got married, you know, you got married because you love each other and your best friends and you have fun together.” - Beth Goss“I think a big piece of advice is don't wait to be asked. Don't wait for your partner to say, could you do X?” - Beth GossInvites:Download the Gottman App to find the questions relating to the “Bringing Baby Home”program.Enroll in the “Bringing Baby Home” training based on researched tips on how to prepare for starting a family.Learn about tips that will help you to connect with your partner more on Gottman’s “SmallThings Often” podcast.Beth Goss’s Links:Gottman Website: https://www.gottman.com/Personal Website: https://www.bethgoss.com/Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Mike and Heidi Condie join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their experience from almost separating to having a strong healthy marriage. Mike and Heidi vouch that if they can get through the challenges that they have worked through, then anyone can.About Michael and Heidi Condie: Mike and Heidi are a couple from Liz's private practice who were on the brink of divorce. They were suffocating from stress and challenges related to their remarriage and stepfamily and were spiraling downward in negative communication patterns. Together with Liz's guidance, they put in the work starting with themselves and then continued to fight for their marriage instead of against each other. Their journey has been truly inspiring.Insights: “You know me and you still love me? I don't think it gets any better than that” - Dr. Liz Hale “And she said, but what I can tell you is, whatever skills or things you don't learn how to resolve in this marriage. I promise you, you will have the same issues in the next relationship.” -Heidi Condie “And I think even before the work is humility, being open and recognizing that I need to work.” -Dr. Dave Schramm “And it was the love for each other that we had for each other, that was the most important.” -Mike CondieInvites: - Rate the strength of your relationship this week on a scale of 1 to 10, then ask your partner what you can do to show up a little bit better for them. - Create a gratitude book where you and your partner can randomly list things that you are grateful for about your partner. Place the book in a central location in your home.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/  Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Today Ted Lowe joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss how to change yourmarriage mindset in order to change your relationship. Ted believes that you can change yourmarriage by first changing your thoughts.About Ted Law:Ted Lowe Ted Lowe is on staff with Family First, where he serves as a speaker, writer, resourcecreator, and podcast host. He is also the founder of For Us Marriage.com. He is the author ofseveral incredible books, including his most recent release, Us in Mind: How Changing YourThoughts Can Change Your Marriage. Ted lives with his wife, Nancie, and their 4 children inCumming, GA.Insights:“Don’t let anybody celebrate your spouse more than you.” - Ted Lowe"If we think something, then we're going to look for ways to confirm it." -Dr. Dave Schramm“What I think about myself radically determines how my spouse experiences me at any givenmoment.” -Dr. Liz HaleInvites:   -   Learn more about a growth mindset and have a 10 minute discussion with your partner about how it could help you in your marriage.   -   Think of one hobby that your partner gets excited about and then come up with something you could do to get excited with themTed Lowe’s Links:Forusmarriage.comFacebook: For Us MarriageInstagram: @forusmarriageBook: https://a.co/d/iMqdiZjVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriageInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Dr. Liz Hale:httpe://www.drlizhale.com  Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Ryan Law joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss how partners can have ahealthy money relationship. Ryan talks about the importance of regular financial planningmeetings and understanding your partner’s attitudes, beliefs and experiences with money.About Ryan Law:Ryan Law is the Director of the Utah Valley University (UVU) Money Success Center. He is anaward-winning educator who teaches the Financial Counseling courses as part of the PersonalFinancial Planning program at UVU. Ryan is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional (CFP®)and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). Ryan is the author of the books, “Student LoanPlanning,” “Make Positive Changes” and co-editor of the book “Financial Counseling.” Ryan and his wife, Traci, have been married for 24 years and they live in Utah county with their 5 children.Insights: - “People will do things for reasons that make sense to them.” - Dave Schramm - "Today is the right day to start having financial conversations." -Ryan Law - "And it doesn't mean that one is right and one is wrong" - Liz HaleInvites: - Sign up for Ryan Law’s email list. - Schedule a monthly financial planning meeting with your partner to discuss what youspent last month and make some guidelines for the next month! - Make a separate savings account for a specific fun financial goal! Ex. Disneyland trip,backyard upgrade etc.Ryan’s Links:https://money-marriage.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:https://strongermarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

On today’s episode, the well known author, Kyle Benson joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz todiscuss the simple principles that make marriage last. Kyle discusses the profound effectiveness of Emotion Focused Therapy in the stabilization of relationships. In addition, he recognizes the benefits of using the research by John and Julie Gottman to maintain a healthy relationship.Timestamps:0:00 – Introduction: Who is Kyle Benson?3:00 - Combination of Gottman Method and Emotional Based Therapy8:36 – What is the longing for attachment?10:15 –Am I enough? Am I worthy of love and care?12:50 – Attachment Strategies/Styles16:03 – Emotion Focused Therapy20:15 – Conflict is fire22:43 – One sided partner effort26:10 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?27:25 – Kyle’s resources28:40 – TakeawaysAbout Kyle Benson:Kyle studies how partners in healthy relationships intentionally –talk to each other, have passionate sex, stay emotionally connected, and more – to uncover the tools and perspectives that make love last. His work has been featured in dozens of major media channels including The Gottman Institute, Business Insider, U.S. News, The Chicago Tribune, Huffington Post, and more.Insights:Liz: The healthy “We” starts with a healthy “Me.”Kyle: Underneath every criticism is a longing for attachment.Dave: It is not necessarily a poor partner but a poor pattern.Invites:   -    Join Kyle Benson’s email list to get free and easily acceptable tips to make marriage last.   -    Take 10 minutes to write down how you are going to change the unwanted patterns in your relationship.Kyles’s Links:https://www.kylebenson.net/FB @Kyle Benson: https://www.facebook.com/kylebenson.netVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:Strongermarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Instagram: Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

On today's episode, the Netflix hit Aleeza Ben Shalom, from “Jewish Matchmaking”joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss the magic of matchmaking. Discover what matchmaking is, if it is for you, and how you can build a better marriage based on lessons Aleeza uses during matchmaking. We hope you enjoy!Timestamps:0:00 – Introduction: Who is Aleeza Ben Shalom?7:12 – Tools for matchmaking with your soul mate.9:03 – What makes the best match?: Soul mate potential baseline.13:50 – Is there something better out there?16:00 – Stories of making the match.18:14 – Handling challenges with your partner.19:05 – Aleeza’s marital success stories.21:57 – Benefits of hiring a matchmaker.23:45 – "Mystery in your history”24:50 – Where can I learn about matchmaking?27: 15 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?29:00 – Aleeza’s resources29: 30 – TakeawaysAbout Aleeza Ben Shalom:Aleeza Ben Shalom is a renowned matchmaker, dating coach, author, sought-after speaker, and soulmate clarity expert who empowers marriage-minded singles to find and identify the one. She guides them from uncertainty and overwhelm to the clarity needed for confident decision-making regarding their potential life partners. Aleeza is the featured Matchmaker on Season 1 of the new Netflix series Jewish Matchmaking. Aleeza authored two insightful books, Get real, Get Married-a guide to get over your hurdles and under the chuppah, and Virtual Dating, your guide to relationships in a socially distanced world. As the founder of Marriage Minded Mentor, a company who focuses on helping singles get married, she connects singles globally with skilled matchmakers and dating coaches.Aleeza’s impressive track record has earned her the title of “Jewish Dating Guru,” as she has successfully led over 200 singles through the steps to engagement, regardless of age, affiliation, or life stage.For over 15 years, Aleeza has worked with men and women worldwide to break unhealthy patterns and foster relationships that lead to marriage. During this time, she has trained more than 350 dating coaches and matchmakers worldwide.She now lives in Israel with her husband, five children and a lovable dog!Insights:Dave: There are many factors that make us a good match with the people around us.Liz: Have hope that there IS a person out there for you!Aleeza: World peace begins at home. Do your best to love yourself and build a family.Invites:Listen to the matchmaker, matchmaker podcast and find a topic that you love, have a discussion with your partner.Write down what your values, beliefs, attractions, bothers and fears are. Reflect on how these could affect your future dating and marriage experiences.Aleeza’s Links:IG @AleezabenshalomFb /aleezabenshalomLinkedin/aleezabenshalomTwitter/aleezabenshalomTiktok/aleezabenshalomThe MatcVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com