Stronger Marriage Connection

In this eye-opening episode, hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale talk with Dr. Jason Carroll to debunk the soulmate myth. They explore the impact of soulmate thinking on relationships and discuss how lasting connections are forged through intentional effort and growth. Drawing on the report "The Soulmate Trap," the conversation highlights the importance of virtues, responsible behaviors, and shared life goals over predestined destiny beliefs.About Jason CarrollJason S. Carroll is an internationally recognized expert on flourishing marriages and readinessfor marriage among young adults. He currently serves as the Director of the Family Initiative atthe Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University, and he is also a Senior Fellow of theInstitute for Family Studies. He has also been a faculty member in BYU’s School of Family for the last 23 years. In 2014, Dr. Carroll received the Berscheid-Hatfield Award for Distinguished Mid-Career Achievement, a biennial award given for distinguished scientific achievement by the International Association for Relationship Research (IARR). This award was given to himprimarily to acknowledge his significant theoretical contributions to the field of marriagestudies. Dr. Carroll is best known professionally for his development of the “DevelopmentalModel of Marital Competence,” the widely used “Marital Horizon Theory” of young adultreadiness for marriage, and “Sexual Restraint Theory” which has been used to demonstrate thebenefits to couples who wait until they are married to begin their sexual relationship. Mostrecently, Dr. Carroll has received recognition for his new “STRIVE-4 Model of Virtue” thatprovides a comprehensive model to organize and guide a mature science of virtue.InsightsJason, "We need to actively mentor the younger generation within our spheres of influence, like in family and in work spaces. Think about how we can collectively restore the confidence and the sense of agency and choice. By sharing the realities of a genuine relationship—its challenges and its rewards—we can help restore the younger generation's confidence in and aspiration for enduring, loving marriage."Dave, "Mature love in healthy relationships is characterized by outward focus and contribution, whereas immature love fixates inwardly on personal needs and disappointments. With mature love and immature love, there is always a choice."Liz, "The focus is not so much on happiness, but on meaningfulness. All parts of our relationships, the highs and Wedding Wednesday PodWe're spilling ALL the tea on wedding drama, horror stories & the craziness of planning! Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

In this insightful episode of "Stronger Marriage Connection," hosts Liz Hale and Dave Schramm engage in a powerful discussion with Dr. Carly LeBaron about the complexities of and navigational strategies for couples facing faith crises and faith transitions in their marriage. Dr. LeBaron, an active marriage and family therapist, sheds light on the emotional and relational dynamics of mixed-faith marriages, and faith transitions in marriage, offering valuable advice for couples to maintain harmony and understanding despite differing faith perspectives.About Carly LeBaron:Dr. Carly LeBaron has a MS and PhD degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a practicing therapist in Logan, Utah. She owns New Beginnings Therapy, a group private practice in Logan, where she specializes in women's mental, emotional, and relational health, faith crisis/faith transition, perfectionism and people-pleasing, eating disorders and body image, couples therapy, and more. She has authored two self-help books, "Shattering the Porcelain: Overcoming Perfectionism and People- Pleasing and Becoming the Real You," and "Some Body to Love: 12 Weeks to a Better Body Image" and offers online courses in mental health through therapyinanutshell.com. In her spare time, she loves to write, read, garden, create, camp, and spend time with friends and family. She is married to her best friend, has three amazing sons, and a Shih Tzu named Bandit who is in training to become a therapy animal.Insights:Carly: "Keep in mind that you're suffering in your own way, and your partner’s suffering may be in a different way. So, if you’re able to kind of create a space where it's okay for both of you to be hurting at the same time. It opens up a lot of conversations instead of shutting things down with defensiveness."Dave: "Even if we have differences, we can still be kind. We can still choose to be kind to each other It's challenging but, be respectful of each other and even negotiate when you're negotiating with kids and practices and things. Kindness, kindness. Above all, through this, through the challenges you can still choose to be kind."Liz: "I love that whole idea that validation doesn't necessarily mean agreement. It really just means your perspective matters to me, which really means you matter to me."Dr. Carly LeBaron Links:https://www.newbeginningstherapy.net/ Wedding Wednesday PodWe're spilling ALL the tea on wedding drama, horror stories & the craziness of planning! Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Today Sage Allen discusses the stresses and challenges she's encountered with her son who has severe autism and how this affects her marriage. Sage opens up about the raw realities of day-to-day care, and how important it is to make time for both self-care and date nights. Sage shares tips for other parents who find themselves overwhelmed and exhausted, including intentionally finding the good in each day and reaching out for support systems, including online groups.About Sage AllenSage Erickson Allen has a master's degree in marriage family human development from BYU. ,She taught marriage preparation at BYU and marriage enrichment classes for USU Extension inSt. George, UT for a few years. She stopped teaching when her first child was diagnosed withsevere autism around age two. That child is seven years old now and is completely nonverbalwith low functioning autism and ADHD. In her spare time, Sage likes ballroom dancing andwriting for her casual blog, sagerelationshipadvice.com. She also enjoys advocating for peoplewith disabilities and families that need more help managing the stresses that accompany raising a child with a disability.Insights:Sage: "I'd like to tell everyone that you really can have a great fulfilling marriage with a disabled child. At feels impossible. And it kind of feels like you'll never be happy again when you have that big of a trial, but then it really does get better. And you can have a great marriage and a great life.Dave: "An internal insight is, I can't be, my feelings. I'm going to feel things but I've got to learn to feel it but not follow it, if that makes sense. And not let it spill over and into my parenting or into my marriage or, or how I see the situation or complain about this or that in my life because it can always be poisonous, right? And how that that spills over."Liz: "I was pretty naive; I still am with autism. Thank you for the reminder of the three stages and that Utah has a way to go. That saddens me and it also gives me great hope with advocates like you and people who are willing to speak out and speak up for their loved ones or children. With that, I hope things do continue to grow and change."Sage Allen Links:https://sagerelationshipadvice.comVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriageWedding Wednesday PodWe're spilling ALL the tea on wedding drama, horror stories & the craziness of planning! Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

This episode highlights Mark and Jill Savage, a couple who have worked through some very difficult challenges in their marriage, including infidelity. They have been married nearly 40 years now. Together they share why they decided to make things work rather than divorce and open up about how they've been able to make their marriage stronger. Whether you've experienced infidelity or you're just going through some rough patches, you'll benefit from the many insights from our discussion.About Mark & Jill Savage:Mark and Jill Savage are passionate about encouraging, educating, and equipping families and marriages. After serving in church ministry for twenty years, the Savage’s are now meeting the needs of families as authors, speakers, and coaches. Known for their honesty, humor, andpractical teaching, Mark and Jill bring hope and encouragement to every audience.Jill is the host of the No More Perfect Podcast and the author of fourteen books, including thebestselling No More Perfect Moms. Together Mark and Jill have created five online marriagecourses and authored several books including No More Perfect Marriages, I Really Messed Up,and My Heart Is Broken. The parents of five adult children, and grandparents of six, theSavage’s make their home in Normal, IL. Insights:Mark - Mine is on of a faith response. Its to humble yourself. Grab hold of the hand of Daddy God, and let Him lead you through the mess.Jill - There is hope and, and redemption available. Whether a marriage makes it or not, there's hope and redemption available. And so I think that it's, you know, that's kind of where I sat, you know, whether my marriage makes it or not, I have some growth to do.Dave - Having humility, compassion, positivity; fundamental values for relationships, and I can't echo that enough. And that no matter where you are in your relationship, that we're going to hit these rough patches, some more serious than others. I feel like if we would forget the person that we thought we married and get to work on the relationship with the person that we did marry and focus we’d find enjoyment and remind ourselves, the principal that we remember what we rehearse, we remember what we review. And if we're reviewing the negative, and the mess and the yuckiness that we don't like, then that's what we will remember. But if we can flip the script that you talked about, refocus, change that heart, and search inward and turn outward.Liz Wedding Wednesday PodWe're spilling ALL the tea on wedding drama, horror stories & the craziness of planning! Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Dave and Liz talk with Amberly Lambertsen about the importance of prioritizing fun in your relationship. From laughing at the little things and making time for fun date nights to sharing silly memes to planning and talking about your next fun getaway. Couples who laugh and play together are more likely to stay together.About Amberly Lambertsen:Amberly Lambertsen is a Certified Family Life Educator. She received her Bachelor’s degree in Family Studies and her Master's of Education with an emphasis in Family Life Education. Amberly has a specific passion for marriage relationships and helping couples make their marriage a priority throughout every stage of life. She believes that by making time for the personal and romantic side of your marriage every day you are creating a strong foundation for the other pieces of your partnership to thrive and your relationship to last a lifetime. In addition to creating a long lasting marriage, Amberly believes couples should create a relationship they enjoy and want to continue to be part of. With creative date night solutions, tips for increased emotional and physical intimacy, ideas for creating more fun, and practical ways couples can focus on their marriage, Amberly helps couples make time to build and enjoy their marriage relationship every single day throughout every stage of life.Insights:Amberly: "Just find one thing you can do today to have fun together. What's one thing you can do this week, or you can do today to have fun together, and then do it again tomorrow and find something new or find something old, whatever that is just take an opportunity to have fun.Dave: "Make your relationship a priority. If you don't, then you naturally have this natural flow to isolation that you naturally will drift apart. So, couples who are intentionally creating the fun, whether it's spontaneous or let's plan something, those are the couples who I think will thrive rather than just trying to survive in their in their marriages and their relationships."Liz: "There’s no one I'd rather laugh with than my husband. I love laughing with him. He is one of my favorite people to laugh with. And I really want it to continue to be that safe harbor for him."Amberly Lambertsen Links:https://aprioritizedmarriage.comhttps://facebook.com/aprioritizedmarriageWedding Wednesday PodWe're spilling ALL the tea on wedding drama, horror stories & the craziness of planning! Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Monica Tanner joins Liz and Dave to talk about getting what you want in your relationship. She’ll tackle how to manage strong emotions, moving from complaints to requests, and the importance of compassionate curiosity. She will also share a four-step framework for getting what you want in your relationship. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction through her engaging podcast vibrant social media, community, and practical programs.About Monica Tanner:Monica Tanner, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast,transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution andcommitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve maritalsatisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, vibrant social media community, and practicalprograms, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.Insights:Monica: "You know, there's a lot of things that you can't control in this life, but you can always control your experience inside of your circumstances. I find it to be a law of connection kind of like, matter is governed by the laws of gravity, you don't have to know that if I throw this pen up in the air, it's gonna come down. But if I do know it, it makes life a lot more predictable, it's easier to know what's going to happen, right. And so if you understand that you have full control over the experience you're having in any given circumstance, you become way more powerful, empowered, probably as the right word, you become way more empowered, to fight for the things that you want in this life, when you understand that you may not be able to, to control all the circumstances, but you can control your experience."Dave: "I love the idea of this compassionate curiosity. I've never heard it quite put like, but getting compassionately curious about that, not in a you know, I'm holier than thou and I'm not going to jump into this because I'm not that type of a person, but genuinely compassionate, getting curious, really wanting to understand them and to hear that to hear what they need. Rather than reacting to their emotions you have very powerful."Liz: "I think that is so interesting the idea of asking for what we want or what we need, it's really quite a compliment to our partner that I want to have. I want us to have it all right, I don't want to settle for me mediocrity. I really wanWedding Wednesday PodWe're spilling ALL the tea on wedding drama, horror stories & the craziness of planning! Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Today, Jeff Forte joins us to chat about everything from parenting and relationship stress to 10 second hugs and intentionally making the most of every interaction with your spouse or partner. Jeff Forte is a relationship expert and author of the books, the 90 Minute marriage miracle and be happy forever. Jeff has experienced both a divorce and the death of his second wife.About Jeff Forte:Jeff Forte, is an Executive Peak Performance Coach, Leadership Expert, Author, and Speaker. He writes about the areas of his life that he's had to improve by overcoming adversity. His ability to relate to the reader comes from his genuine desire to give the reader immediately useful tools, skills, and strategies that they can put to work right away. The ideas you'll read about in his books contain powerful secrets that begin to shift the odds of success quickly in your favor. His work is highly proprietary in nature. He's the creator of The Magenta System for personal transformation, The Magenta Process for emotional wellness, The Rising Love Marriage Repair Process for fixing marriage and divorce prevention, and The Leadership Alliance for creating a transnational shift in global leadership. His clients include Fortune 500 Executives, Professional Athletes, High Tech Visionaries, Emmy Award Winners, Global Leaders, Business Professionals, Couples and Teams.Insights:Jeff: I hope listeners remember that every interaction with each other is a chance for a fresh start. It’s a chance to improve things between you as a chance to deepen connection is a chance to reconnect to resolve conflicts a chance to apologize every single interaction can be utilized to improve your relations.Dave: What does my partner need from me right now. Right now, in this moment, what can I do to relieve stress from their life?Liz: The whole idea about distractions affecting attractions. Even Jeff, as you were so kind to talk about, you know, after the passing of your wife and then trying to date again, and how that distraction was really kind of hurtful to your son. And I, I wish more parents would pause and understand that who are either divorce or were also widows widowers to understand that, well, maybe there is a time and a place and the most important thing right now is the well being of that child.Invites:Take notice of how you can help reduce some of your partner’s stress; like doing thedishes, helping to cook dinner, picking up dinner….Be mindful of all the little distractions in your daily life that could be a cause of lessattraction; ie: your children seeing you on your phone may prevent them from comingup and talking about something they’d like to share with you.It’s the simple things that help build a stronger marriage, try to do one simple thingtoday to show them that you care. Like write a note, make the bed, start the dishwasher…Jeff Forte LinVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Today Dr. David Dollahite joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the connection between faith and marriage.About David Dollahite:Dr. David Dollahite, is a professor of family life at Brigham Young University. He received an MS and MFT and as a family life coach. He is co director of the American families of faith project. He has more than 200 publications for scholarly and public audiences. He has written or edited nine books on Family Life and Religion, including Home Centered Gospel learning and Living Strengths and Diverse Families of Faith, Religion and Families, and Successful Marriages and Families among other books. He and his wife Mary had been married for 40 years and have seven children and four grandchildren.Insights:“Personal religious choices, beliefs, values, commitments, obviously impact individuals but they also strongly impact other people; siblings, parents, couples, kids or spouses, kids." -Dave Dollahite"I think when each person in a marriage is humble about their own perspectives, their own attitudes, their own ideas about what should happen in a marriage, I think humility is sort of that, that core virtue that allows people to see good, see truth, see meaning and value in the other person." -Dave DollahiteInvites:Learn more about how shared religion can bring you closer to your partner.Find time to chat with your partner about both humility and commitment in your relationship.David’s Resources:Website: americanfamiliesoffaith.byu.eduYouTube: American Families of FaithPodcast: American Families of Faith ProjectVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Today Jeff and Tammy join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss helpful tips forblended or “stewed” families.About Jeff and Tammy Hill:Jeff and Tammy Hill have been enjoying the ups and downs of remarriage and stepfamily living for 17 years. Together, they have 12 children and both recently retired from teaching atBrigham Young University. They both continue to stay busy. Jeff helps with money workshops,and Tammy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and conducts love retreats, honeymoon workshops and dating boot camps. Most importantly, the hills love being parents, step parents and grandparents.Insights:“I think the fundamental principle is to honor the previous family, honor the original family honor to recognize that nobody wished that that didn't work out with that original family.”-Jeff Hill“If you really are grounded and know who you are, and are living aligned with who you want to be, you're gonna be a great marriage partner.” -Tammy Hill“Having a step family isn't something that happens overnight. It doesn't even happen within a year or two. A lot of the research says it takes between four and seven years until a step family, big blended family or our small blended family but anyway that this type of a family actually gets cohesive.” - Tammy HillInvites:Chat with your partner about ways that you have moments to slip away from your family or home to just focus on your relationship.Listen to Tammy’s podcast “Live your Why” on spotify or apple podcastsJeff and Tammy’s ResourcesWebsite: tammyhill.comInstagram: @tammy_hill_lmftPodcast: Live Your WhyVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

Today Utah Marriage Commission Manager, Alan Hawkins joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the challenges of an open relationship.About Alan Hawkins:Alan Hawkins is the manager of the Utah Marriage Commission. He recently retired after 33 years as a professor at Brigham Young University. He earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies at Pennsylvania State University in 1990. Professor Hawkins scholarship and outreach efforts focused on educational interventions and policies to help couples form and sustain healthy marriages and relationships and to help fathers be engaged in the lives of their children. Since 2000, he has been intricately involved in state and federal policy efforts tosupport relationship education programs for disadvantaged families. He has served on the Utah marriage commission since 2004. And as a past chair of the Utah marriage commission. He currently serves as vice chair on the board for the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education.Insights:“ I believe marriage is a relationship that asks you to give your all to each other mentally,emotionally, sexually, give your all to another person. I think that kind of depth in a relationship leads to a richness and a beauty and a power that you can't achieve by dividing your heart.” - Alan Hawkins“Go deeper with one person instead of broader with others.” - Dave Schramm“The deeper you get, the more you understand, which then means the more you love.” - Alan HawkinsInvites:-“Go Deeper” with your partner by downloading the Gottman Card Deck app.-Learn about ways that you can create a stronger marriage connection by attending thewebinars held by the Utah Marriage Commission.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:StrongerMarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:https://drdaveschramm.comhttps://drdavespeaks.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSUFacebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642Dr. Liz Hale:http://www.drlizhale.com/Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com