In this eye-opening episode, hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale talk with Dr. Jason Carroll to debunk the soulmate myth. They explore the impact of soulmate thinking on relationships and discuss how lasting connections are forged through intentional effort and growth. Drawing on the report "The Soulmate Trap," the conversation highlights the importance of virtues, responsible behaviors, and shared life goals over predestined destiny beliefs.

About Jason Carroll

Jason S. Carroll is an internationally recognized expert on flourishing marriages and readiness
for marriage among young adults. He currently serves as the Director of the Family Initiative at
the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University, and he is also a Senior Fellow of the
Institute for Family Studies. He has also been a faculty member in BYU’s School of Family for the last 23 years. In 2014, Dr. Carroll received the Berscheid-Hatfield Award for Distinguished Mid-Career Achievement, a biennial award given for distinguished scientific achievement by the International Association for Relationship Research (IARR). This award was given to him
primarily to acknowledge his significant theoretical contributions to the field of marriage
studies. Dr. Carroll is best known professionally for his development of the “Developmental
Model of Marital Competence,” the widely used “Marital Horizon Theory” of young adult
readiness for marriage, and “Sexual Restraint Theory” which has been used to demonstrate the
benefits to couples who wait until they are married to begin their sexual relationship. Most
recently, Dr. Carroll has received recognition for his new “STRIVE-4 Model of Virtue” that
provides a comprehensive model to organize and guide a mature science of virtue.

Insights

• Jason, "We need to actively mentor the younger generation within our spheres of influence, like in family and in work spaces. Think about how we can collectively restore the confidence and the sense of agency and choice. By sharing the realities of a genuine relationship—its challenges and its rewards—we can help restore the younger generation's confidence in and aspiration for enduring, loving marriage."
• Dave, "Mature love in healthy relationships is characterized by outward focus and contribution, whereas immature love fixates inwardly on personal needs and disappointments. With mature love and immature love, there is always a choice."
• Liz, "The focus is not so much on happiness, but on meaningfulness. All parts of our relationships, the highs and the lows, that’s why we're here. That's what gives us meaning. And I love the idea of the growth belief versus the destiny belief."

Jason's Links

https://wheatley.byu.edu/

Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness by Blaine J. Fowers

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