Stronger Marriage Connection

Dr. Jason Whiting explores honesty, emotions, and relationship repair as foundational elements for building trust and connection in committed partnerships.• Honesty is universally valued but challenging to maintain consistently in relationships• Research shows people tell an average of three lies in ten minutes when first meeting someone new• Emotions strongly influence how we perceive our partners and can turn them into "enemies" rather than allies• Editing words to find truth rather than hiding it distinguishes authentic honesty from reactive "brutal honesty"• Basic self-care practices like sleep, exercise, and nutrition significantly impact relationship quality• Negotiated timeouts provide space to calm down before addressing relationship challenges• Authenticity develops through consistent choices to be reflective rather than defensive• Trust requires consistent effort to build and significant time to repair after betrayal• Small, consistent acts of commitment build trust more effectively than grand gesturesRemember that trust is something that can be grown with consistent effort, and relationships thrive when we prioritize giving them quality time and attention.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Relationship coach Monica Tanner returns to discuss her new book "Bad Marriage Advice: 15 Myths That Are Keeping You Miserable" and challenges conventional wisdom that may be damaging marriages. She explores how common advice like "happy wife, happy life" and "don't sweat the small stuff" creates imbalanced relationships, poor communication patterns, and prevents couples from addressing issues before they become serious problems.• "Happy wife, happy life" places too much responsibility on women for the emotional atmosphere while encouraging men to silence their own needs• "Divorce is not an option" can prevent couples from growing and making necessary changes when they believe they're stuck regardless of effort• Instead of compromise where nobody gets what they want, try collaboration through curiosity about each other's underlying needs• Newlyweds should establish a relationship with a coach/counselor early as prevention rather than waiting for crisis• "Don't sweat the small stuff" ignores how minor irritations become major resentments—address issues while they're still small• Most relationship patterns stem from childhood programming and past experiences that shape automatic reactions• The key to stronger marriages is consciousness (understanding yourself and your partner) and effective communication• Happily ever after is possible when couples view marriage as a "people-growing machine" that helps them become their best selvesFind Monica Tanner's book at badmarriageadvice.com or learn more about her work at monicatanner.com.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Dating requires intention and skill, whether you're looking for fun or seeking a lifelong partnership. Marriage and family therapist Stacey Hubbard joins us to share her Gottman-based approach for singles navigating the relationship landscape.• Building friendship first is crucial when dating - take things slowly and watch for signs of trustworthiness• The honeymoon phase typically lasts 6-18 months with feel-good chemicals making us more trusting• Understanding the three phases of relationships: limerence (honeymoon), trust-building, and commitment• Many couples skip from honeymoon phase to commitment without properly building trust• Trust indicators include honesty, transparency, proof of alliance, ethical actions, and accountability• Develop a "positive habit of mind" by scanning for what's good rather than focusing on flaws• Successful couples dedicate at least six hours a week to their relationship• Focus on "unique value" (personality, values, interests) rather than just "mate value" (physical attraction)Check out the Lessons in Love for Singles workshop at gottman.com under the singles dropdown, or visit staceyhubbard.com for more resources.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Dr. Talal Al-Saleem breaks down the complexities of infidelity from definition to recovery, offering hope through his specialized Systematic Affair Recovery Therapy approach. He challenges common misconceptions about infidelity causes and provides practical guidance for both healing after betrayal and safeguarding relationships against it.• Understanding infidelity as a breach of the unique exclusivity contract between partners• Recognizing that infidelity stems from three categories: relationship factors, individual factors, and socio-environmental factors• Acknowledging that good people can make awful mistakes like infidelity• Setting the stage for healing by staying together (if safe), avoiding contact with affair partners, and protecting children from details• Safeguarding relationships through introspection, clear partner "job descriptions," and weekly relationship check-ins• Seeing infidelity recovery as an opportunity to make informed decisions about the future, whether together or apart• Understanding that vulnerability to infidelity exists in all relationships, requiring ongoing vigilanceCheck out Dr. Talal Al-Saleem's resources at systematicaffairrecoverytherapy.com for clinicians and Infidelity Counseling Center for clients. His books and YouTube channel "The Infidelity Doctor" offer valuable insights for both professionals and individuals dealing with infidelity.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Dr. Jeffrey Du shares groundbreaking research identifying four key factors for a stronger marriage: commitment, protectiveness, shared religious attendance, and regular date nights. These factors emerged from data collected from over 2,000 individuals across the United States, focusing specifically on elements within couples' control.• Commitment means intentionally prioritizing your spouse and marriage amid busy lives• Protectiveness involves emotional safeguarding, loyalty, and consistently having your spouse's back• Shared religious attendance creates deeper connection through joint spiritual experiences• Regular date nights (at least twice monthly) significantly boost marital happiness• Shared financial decision-making and joint bank accounts correlate with higher marital satisfaction• Small, daily actions matter more for relationship health than occasional grand gestures• Marriage requires intentionality – like a plant needing daily sunshine and regular water• Premarital education provides couples with important foundations for successFor more information, visit the Institute for Family Studies website or contact Dr. Jeffrey Du directly at jeff_du@byu.edu.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Lisa Valentine Clark shares her extraordinary journey of love and resilience through her husband Christopher's battle with ALS, offering profound insights on how their marriage was strengthened through humor, sacrifice, and intentionally seeking joy amid terminal illness.• Starting as friends performing in a comedy play at BYU—Lisa as a chicken, Christopher as Satan—created a foundation of laughter and friendship for their 25-year marriage• Humor played a crucial role in their relationship, making each other laugh even through the darkest moments• When Christopher was diagnosed with ALS in 2020, Lisa describes entering "go time" mode, committing fully to caregiving while he continued creating art until his final days• During COVID lockdown, Christopher invited friends to entertain him through their living room window, creating unexpected moments of connection and joy• The diagnosis shifted their marriage from equitable to sacrificial, with Lisa caring for Christopher and him focusing on leaving meaningful legacies for her and their five children • Christopher orchestrated a surprise 25th wedding anniversary celebration two days before his death, demonstrating his outward focus even when dying• Lisa emphasizes loyalty to friendship as the key to a stronger marriage—seeing your spouse as your best friend and being their biggest cheerleader• Being fully present in the moment allowed them to find unexpected joy even during the most difficult circumstances• Lisa's advice for couples facing health challenges: "Go all in" on caregiving without worrying about consequences• For those who have lost someone: "You don't honor love by ceasing to exist—you honor it by loving, creating and living"Listen to Lisa's podcasts, The Lisa Show and Council of Moms, wherever you get your podcasts.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Dr. Steve Harris joins us to explain discernment counseling, a specialized approach helping couples gain clarity about whether to work on their marriage or move toward divorce.• Developed at the University of Minnesota after research showed 30% of divorcing couples had at least one person who didn't want the divorce• Differs from traditional couples therapy by focusing on decision-making clarity rather than relationship improvement• Designed specifically for "mixed-agenda couples" where one partner wants to work on the marriage while the other is considering divorce• Creates a structured space where ambivalence about the relationship is welcomed and explored• Presents three paths: continuing the status quo, moving toward divorce, or committing to six months of intensive work on the relationship• Typically runs 1-5 sessions with both joint and individual components• Helps both partners recognize their own contributions to marital problems, not just their partner's failings• Results show approximately 51% choose to work on their marriage, with 70-75% of those successfully repairing their relationship• Even couples who ultimately divorce benefit from better understanding and communicationVisit MinnesotaCouplesOnTheBrink.org or discernmentcounseling.com to learn more and find trained counselors in your area.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Chad Ford, an international conflict mediator and author of '70 x 7,' joins the discussion to explore how fear drives conflict in relationships. He emphasizes that conflict is natural in marriage and should be handled constructively. Chad introduces the concept of the 'risk of embrace' for deeper connections and highlights the necessity of true reconciliation over mere forgiveness. He also shares practical tips for navigating conflict styles, fostering empathy, and transforming grievances into compassion, ensuring stronger marital bonds.

In this discussion, Dr. Nathan Lenhart, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University and author of "The Science of Virtue," delves into the concept of "capital R Resilience" in marriage. He introduces the ABCX model, emphasizing how stressors and perception shape couples' responses to challenges. Through cross-cultural insights, Lenhart advocates for seeking deeper meaning and flourishing beyond superficial happiness. He encourages couples to build resilience by embracing virtues like humility and gratitude, transforming adversities into growth opportunities.

Dr. Alexandra Stockwell shares her journey from physician to intimacy coach and reveals how couples can create passionately intimate marriages through authenticity rather than compromise. She offers transformative insights on cultivating everyday eroticism, communicating with kindness, and deepening emotional connection to enhance sensual experiences.• Developing "everyday eroticism" by making conscious choices to embody sensuality in daily activities• Distinguishing between "nice" communication that suppresses authenticity and "kind" communication that honors both partners• Understanding how "uncompromising intimacy" creates more passion than traditional compromises• Identifying different types of conversations and framing them clearly for better understanding• Using the question "How old do I feel right now?" to recognize when younger parts of ourselves are driving reactions• Maintaining genuine curiosity about your partner through intentional questions• Focusing on quality rather than quantity for both physical intimacy and date nights• Recognizing that having a fantastic relationship is a learnable skill that anyone can developVisit alexandrastockwell.com to learn about Dr. Stockwell's coaching programs, book "Uncompromising Intimacy," and podcast "The Intimate Marriage Podcast."Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/