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Stronger Marriage Connection

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Mar 31, 2025 • 37min

Betrayal Trauma: Finding Hope After Infidelity | Dave Jones | #126

Betrayal trauma occurs when trust is violated within a relationship, creating a profound alteration of reality for the betrayed partner and causing symptoms similar to PTSD. David Jones, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shares insights on the unique challenges of betrayal trauma and offers a three-part framework for healing.• Betrayal trauma is defined as an "alteration of reality" - discovering that what you thought was true about your relationship wasn't• What makes betrayal trauma unique is that the betrayed often must interact with the source of their trauma• The "three legs of the stool" framework for healing: boundaries, individual coping skills/self-care, and connections• Recovery takes significant time - often years - but healing is possible whether the relationship continues or ends• Forgiveness does not equal trust - forgiveness is releasing bitterness while trust must be earned through consistent behavior• Emotional safety forms the foundation for rebuilding connection after betrayal• Support people should be "marriage friendly" if the couple is working toward reconciliationIf you'd like to learn more about the resources discussed in this episode, visit Secure Connection Counseling at secureconnectioncounseling.com or explore the resources available at StrongerMarriage.org.David's Links:https://secureconnectioncounseling.com/About David Jones:David Jones is dedicated to strengthening marriages and families. Growing up with divorced parents and a father in recovery from alcoholism shaped his passion for helping couples navigate challenges. His own blended family of eight children further fuels his commitment to marriage therapy.A Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist, Certified Family Life Educator, and EFT Supervisor Candidate, David specializes in helping couples facing betrayal trauma, infidelity, sexual addiction, and ADHD-related relationship struggles. He also teaches university courses on family relationships and serves as an Army Reserve Chaplain, expanding his real-world perspective.As an AAMFT-Approved Supervisor and EFT Supervisor in Training, David is a leader in his field. He applies attachment theory to therapy, believing that secure relationships not only heal but create lasting transformation. Clients often credit his work with saving their marriages. With a deep well of experience, empathy, and expertise, David is a trusted guide for couples seeking healing and growth.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
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Mar 24, 2025 • 55min

When Marriage Meets Faith | Dr. Loren Marks | #125

Faith and religion shape marriages by influencing beliefs, practices, and community connections that help couples build "championship marriages" through shared sacred purpose. Dr. Loren Marks shares insights from the American Families of Faith Project, featuring interviews with 300 exemplary couples from 20+ faith traditions.• Shared beliefs create a "family vision" that transcends daily conflicts and provides meaning• Religious practices like family prayer, Shabbat dinners, and observing Ramadan strengthen marital bonds• Faith communities offer support, mentorship, and "friends of the marriage" who invest in couples' success• Even spouses from identical religious backgrounds have different spiritual experiences—every marriage is an "interfaith marriage"• The "divine triangle" concept shows how spouses on individual spiritual journeys converge as they move toward God• Big C Commitment (commitment "no matter what") versus little c commitment (conditional commitment) makes the difference in lasting marriages• Great marriages weren't always great—many couples shared they would have "jumped ship" without faith helping them through early struggles• Religion can harm marriages when it becomes a "time affair" or when applied too rigidly without relational flexibilityMarriage is an invitation to increased holiness, where "you lift me and I'll lift thee, and together we will ascend."Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
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Mar 17, 2025 • 45min

Hidden Toll: How Conflict & Divorce Impact Children | Jenet Erickson | #124

Dr. Liz and Dr. Dave welcome Dr. Janet Erickson to discuss the profound impact of marriage on children and families, exploring how parental relationships shape child development and identity formation.• Strong marriages create a sense of wholeness, identity, and belonging for children• Research consistently shows divorce has significant impacts on children of all ages• Children of divorce often face existential questions about their identity and place• Adult children of divorce can overcome challenges by witnessing healthy marriage models• A "good enough" marriage is worth fighting for, though abusive relationships warrant separation• Marriage involves a journey from "loving without knowing" to "being seen, known, and loved"• Maintaining family rituals provides stability during transitions• Personal growth and self-awareness are crucial for healthy relationships• Happiness ultimately comes from deep connection with others"We are relational beings and relationships are worth it, and this is the essence of life. Happiness is love full stop, and our ability to love and to be in loving relationships is worth the growth. It will take growth. It's going to take change in all of us, but that's what we're born for. It's what we desire more than anything."Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
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Mar 10, 2025 • 43min

The Art of New Parenthood: Protecting Your Relationship While Welcoming Baby | Joni Parthemer | #123

Dr. Liz and Dr. Dave welcome Joni Parthimer, education director for the Gottman Institute's Bringing Baby Home program, to discuss how couples can maintain a strong relationship while navigating the challenges of new parenthood.About Joni:Joni Parthemer, M.Ed., is a Master Trainer and Education Director for the Bringing Baby Home Program. She is a certified Childbirth Educator and faculty member at Bastyr University’s Simkin Center, specializing in birth and family education at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle.An award-winning speaker and consultant, Joni brings decades of experience, authenticity, and wit to her work with families and educators. She has developed and published training materials to support family and community growth. Married with two children, she is passionate about helping families thrive.Key Points:• Research shows 67% of couples experience a significant drop in relationship satisfaction after becoming parents• Three key ingredients for relationship success: maintaining friendship, respectful conflict regulation, and creating shared family meaning• The NURSE framework helps new parents prioritize self-care: Nutrition, Understanding support needs, Rest/Resources, Soul-feeding activities, and Exercise• CPR parenting (Consistent, Predictable, Responsive) builds emotional security for infants• Babies communicate through non-verbal cues and states of consciousness from birth• Understanding infant development helps parents respond appropriately to their needs• Grandparents play an evolving role and should ask what support looks like for each family• Creating a postpartum plan before baby arrives helps the transition for everyone involved• The greatest gift parents can give children is a healthy relationship between themselves• The "family fish tank" metaphor reminds us children are only as healthy as their family ecosystemInsights:Joni: “A child's well-being is deeply influenced by the health of their family environment. The best gift parents can give their children is a strong, healthy relationship—whether married, divorced, or co-parenting. Parents serve as role models for future relationships, shaping how their children connect with others. By maintaining friendship, managing conflict with respect, and creating shared meaning through family rituals, couples can build a supportive and nurturing "family fish tank" that fosters lasting emotional security.” Liz: “The CPR approach—Consistency, Predictability, and Responsiveness—is not just valuable for parenting but also strengthens all relationships, including marriage and friendship. By being reliable, steady, and attentive, we create trust and connection in our most important relationships.”Dave: “Education is key to growth. With so many resources available today, we have endless opportunities to learn and improve as partners, parents, and individuals.”Links:jptrainsandspeaks.com Email: joni.parthemer@gmail.comVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
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Mar 3, 2025 • 50min

Why Marriage is So Important | Dr. Brad Wilcox | #122

Dr. Brad Wilcox, a sociology professor and Director of the National Marriage Project, shares valuable insights on the crucial role of marriage in today's society. He highlights key benefits like emotional support, financial stability, and child well-being, while addressing modern challenges such as communication struggles and shifting cultural attitudes. Wilcox emphasizes the importance of commitment and the unique strengths each partner brings to a marriage, offering practical advice for navigating contemporary relationships and promoting lasting connections.
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Feb 24, 2025 • 47min

Why Do We Argue So Much? | Laura Heck & Zach Brittle | #121

Be sure to watch this episode on YouTube:https://youtu.be/tEm34gytP4AToday Laura Heck and Zach Brittle, co-hosts of Marriage Therapy Radio, break down why couples argue and how to navigate disagreements in a healthy way. Drawing from Dr. John Gottman’s research, they explore practical strategies to express needs, take responsibility, regulate emotions, and increase appreciation. About:Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist, specializing solely in helping couples navigate conflict and intimacy. She co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio, leads The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work workshop, coaches women in the Epic Wives Experiment, and speaks for The Gottman Institute.When she’s not working with couples, Laura enjoys trail running with her dog, experimenting in the kitchen, and playing (admittedly bad) golf. She’s been married for 16 years and has a seven-year-old son.Zach Brittle is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) with nearly 20 years of experience in evidence-based couples therapy. He co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio, created Your Marriage Masterclass, and authored The Relationship Alphabet and The Marriage Therapy Journal. His insights have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Vanity Fair, and more.Married to Rebecca for 21 of 23 years, Zach lives in Seattle with their two daughters. They own a minivan and still use most of their wedding silverware.Insights:Laura: "Gratitude is a practice that requires reminders. Set an alarm to text your partner appreciation or reflect on what you're grateful for—it’s a simple habit that strengthens relationships."Zach: "Laura and I are transitioning Marriage Therapy Radio, and I’m feeling sad about it. I’ve loved these meaningful conversations, and it’s bittersweet to see this chapter close."Liz: "Timing matters in conversations. If my husband isn’t ready to discuss something, I check in later. It helps ensure we both have the bandwidth for important talks."Dave: "Take responsibility for your emotions. Before reacting, look inward—cultivate patience, compassion, and understanding. It’s about getting your own heart right first."Links:Laura's Links:Marriage Therapy Radio PodcastWorkshop For CouplesEpic Wives ExperimentLaura's Gottman ProfileZach's Links:The Relationship AlphabetMarriage Therapy Journal Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
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Feb 17, 2025 • 54min

Relationship Evaluation | Don & Carrie Cole | #120

Don and Carrie Cole, experienced licensed professional counselors and experts at the Gottman Institute, delve into the intricacies of relationship evaluations and intimacy in marriage. They introduce a practical 11-point checklist to assess connection within couples. The discussion covers the importance of intentional communication, navigating family dynamics, and rekindling intimacy post-parenthood. They share techniques for managing conflict and emphasize the need for empathy to strengthen connections, ensuring partners thrive together through life's challenges.
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Feb 10, 2025 • 36min

Establishing Household Roles: Tips For Couples to Avoid Conflict | Dr. Julie Hanks | #119

Dr. Julie Hanks, a licensed therapist and expert in family dynamics, joins the discussion to tackle the tricky topic of household roles. She emphasizes the significance of valuing unpaid labor to foster equitable partnerships. The conversation highlights the pitfalls of traditional gender roles, urging couples to communicate openly about expectations and contributions. Tips on preventing resentment through shared responsibilities are shared, along with strategies to recognize and appreciate the often invisible work each partner does, ultimately strengthening relationships.
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Feb 3, 2025 • 42min

Daily Acts of Love Build Strong Intimate Marriages | Dr. Alexandra Solomon | #118

Be sure to watch this and every episode of the podcast on YouTube:https://youtu.be/zjuKWgivYNoToday Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned relationship expert, joins Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss daily practices for love, relational self-awareness, and fostering intimacy. The conversation dives into overcoming relationship stagnation, understanding family of origin influences, and managing differences in relationship work. Learn how small, intentional actions and curiosity can transform your marriage into a thriving, intimate partnership. About Dr. Solomon:Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is internationally recognized as one of today's most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couple’s therapist, speaker, author, and professor, Dr. Solomon is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician educator and a frequent contributor to academic journals, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular Instagram page, which has garnered over 200K followers. She is on faculty in the school of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, reaches tens of thousands of listeners across the globe each week and features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of two books: Taking Sexy Back and Loving Bravely, which was featured on the TODAY show. Insights:Alexandra: "Study your reactivity—what makes you tense, urgent, or shut down. Be curious about what it reveals about where you're stuck or what you may need to ask for differently."Liz: "The past shapes us—either we put it in its place, or it runs the show. It’s crucial to explore childhood influences, both your own and your partner’s."Dave: "Consistency in love takes effort. Small, intentional check-ins—‘What’s on your mind? What can I do for you?’—are key to keeping relationships strong." Dr. Solomon's Links:Website: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/Podcast: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcast/Instagram:  @dr.alexandra.so1omon  X: @AHSolomon  FB: https://www.facebook.com/dralexandrasolomonVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
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Jan 27, 2025 • 47min

Avoid Divorce: Expert Tips from a Divorce Lawyer | Padideh Jafari, Esq | #117

Be sure to watch this and every epsidoe of the podcast on YouTube:https://youtu.be/yoBDCp1li2wToday divorce attorney Padideh Jafari shares invaluable insights from her 22 years of experience. She delves into the common challenges marriages face, including financial stress, in-law interference, toxic positivity, and the seven- year itch. Padideh also provides practical tips for better communication, creating healthy boundaries, and the importance of self-awareness in marriage. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to strengthen their relationship or navigate marital challenges with wisdom and grace.About Padideh JafariPadideh Jafari, Esq is the founder and CEO of Jafari Law & Mediation Office, APC, with locations in Los Angeles and Orange County. She earned her B.A. in Communication Studies with a minor in Psychology from Loyola Marymount University and her J.D. from Southwestern University School of Law.During law school, Mrs. Jafari served as a Judicial Extern for the Honorable Michael D. Rutberg of the Los Angeles Superior Court and clerked for the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office, specializing in child abuse cases. She has also been an Adjunct Professor at NYU and the Southern California Institute of Law, teaching Family Law, Community Property, and Real Estate Law.Admitted to the California Bar and the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California in 2003, Mrs. Jafari has over 22 years of experience handling complex Family Law matters, including high-asset property division, business valuation, cash-flow analysis, and high-stakes custody litigation. She is highly regarded in the Los Angeles and Orange County legal communities as a skilled Family Law litigator.In addition to her legal practice, Mrs. Jafari co-hosts The Narcissist Abuse Recovery Channel (NARC), a weekly podcast focused on navigating divorce involving narcissistic partners. She frequently appears on television, YouTube, podcasts, and other media outlets to share her expertise.Insights:Padideh: "I would say that before you decide to file for a divorce, do everything humanly possible in order to see if you can make the marriage work."Liz: "...turn over every stone. Let's make sure that we have looked at this left, right, upside down, backwards, inside out, to know that we've had [no] doubts there is no other way than divorce. I don't want people to leave or five years down the road say, gosh, looking back. What if? What if I found a better therapist? What if I tried harder? I want us to turn over every, every stumbling stone."Links:https://www.jafarilegal.com/Instagram, Threads, TikTok: @JafariLegalhttps://www.jafarilegal.com/narcissist-abuse-recovery-channel-podcast/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org  Podcast.stongermarriage.orgFacebook: Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com

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